“Prison,” she whispers, as if the thought had never occurred to her.
“Yes, babe. You know I’ve been inside. Long time ago. Don’t ever want to go back.”
I watch her face as she absorbs my worst fears. Even though we’ve never talked about it, I know she knows.
“Prison,” she mumbles again as if reality is finally dawning on her. “Then why do you—”
I stop her before she even gets the thought out. “It’s all I know, babe. It’s why I keep so many secrets, and don’t trust anyone outside the MC. It’s why I insulate myself with people who have the juice to keep us out of trouble—like Tony Cain.”
She nods, but I can already see the tears filling her eyes. This is a little too much raw honesty.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about tracking your phone. It’s not because I don’t respect you, I just worry—”
I don’t get to finish, because she pulls away from me.
"My life is only ever in danger because you put it there!"
Almost true. "So Adam's client who attacked you, that’s my fault too?"
She's got nothing. She sputters. Fuck me, did I finally outsmart my mouthy lawyer woman?
One corner of her mouth quirks up, and she shakes her head. “What am I going to do?”
I’m not really sure what she means, but I take her hand anyway. “Love me. Let me love you.”
“That’s not enough.”
Oh shit. No, no, no.
“I need you to not get hurt. Can you promise me you’ll do your best to keep yourself safe?”
I expected her to say the risks were too high and she needs to be with someone safer, or to ask me to quit, leave the club. But she demands none of that. No, she’s asking me to keep myself safe.
My throat is so tight, it’s hard to speak. “Of course.”
“I mean from…other things too. I don’t ever want to have to come visit you behind bars.”
After spending the day visiting Grinder and all the bad memories that dredged up, her words are like a knife in my gut. “I’d never ask you to do that, baby.”
Hurt flashes in her eyes. “I wouldn’t desert you.”
What did I do to deserve this woman’s loyalty?
“Besides, I’d wait for you, so I could kick your ass when you got out.”
That’s my girl.
Taking a few steps to the side, I set the phones on the counter, then hold out my hand. She places her hand in mine, and I tug her against me.
“Remember how I told you once I’d let you go, if you wanted me to? I can’t do it now, Hope. I can’t. I love you too much.”
Her wide, green eyes blink up at me. “I don’t want you to let me go. I love you too.”
Thank fuck.
“I need you.” And it’s true. I need Hope more than fucking air right now.
“I need you too,” she echoes with a sweet smile.
She’s incredible, but at the moment she’s not getting me. I walk her gently backwards until she’s pressed up against the wall. Lifting her legs so they’re wrapped around my hips, I lean in and bury my face against her neck. My lips slide over her soft skin, licking and sucking until her breath comes out in jerky little pants.
Now she understands.
Her arms lock around my neck, pulling me close. My hands find their way to her waistband, where I pull and tug her blouse free. Sliding my fingers over her bare skin, I can’t get enough. I don’t think my big, clumsy hands can work the tiny, delicate buttons of her blouse.
So I tear it off. Creamy lace covers her heavy breasts, but not so much that I can’t spot light freckles and perfect rosy nipples peeking out.
Hope gasps as she looks down at the ruins of her pretty blouse hanging from her. As she shrugs out of it, she pins me with a stern stare. “That was expensive.”
There’s no anger behind her words. She’s working hard to keep her mouth from curving into a smile.
“I guess I owe you a blouse then,” I tease.
Her thighs squeeze me tighter, and she reaches for me again, pulling me close. I can’t get enough of her breasts—they fill my hands perfectly. I draw the lace cups of her bra down, placing her on display. Slowly, I skim one hand up her side, smoothing it over her breast, stopping to pinch and roll the stiff tips of her nipples and take in her responses. She whimpers and pushes her hips against me.
My dick is so fucking hard.
“I need to be inside you, Hope,” I murmur against her neck.
Her body tenses a bit, and I pull back. Suddenly she’s wearing a shy, hesitant look that I’m not liking very much.
“It’s been a while.”
“I know—that’s why I need to be inside you so bad.”
She meets my eyes, bites her lip a little, and it hits me upside the head what she’s worried about.
“Baby, if you think I’ve even thought about another woman, you’re out of your mind.”
Yeah, that’s what was bothering my girl. Her body relaxes a notch. She lowers her gaze and a shiver works over her. “I said we were done,” she whispers with aching sweetness.
“I’m well aware. Thing is, I don’t listen so well.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispers.
I knead my hands into her hips a little harder until she’s staring at me. “You have nothing to be sorry for, baby. I’m the one who fucked up. I’m sure it won’t be the last time, so I hope you’ll be patient with me.”
A half smile pulls her mouth to the side. “Try harder.”
“No trying about it—I’m hard as steel,” I tease, then grind my hips against her pussy through her perfectly tailored dress pants to emphasize my point. Meeting her sultry gaze, the words I need her to hear come pouring out. “You’re it for me, Hope. I don’t even see other women any more. Only you.” I wish I was better with words. Even so, I think she gets it.
“Rochlan,” she sighs. “You’re it for me too. You know that, right? There could never be—it’s why I need you to keep yourself safe.”
Breathing? What the fuck is that? I don’t even know, because I’m so fucking lost in her words.
I ease off her enough to slide my hand over her front, then hook a finger into her belt, tugging it free. Her clothes aren’t coming off fast enough—I have to set her down so I can work everything off her body. Our hands and arms tangle together while she dives for my belt and jeans, but finally, I have her standing almost naked in front of me. Beautiful.
She looks up at me through her lashes, and it hits me hard how much I want Hope and no one else. Every single word I told her was true. I grip her hips, lifting her slightly, and she hooks her legs around me again, using me as leverage to work her slick pussy over me. Tease. I reach down and guide my dick into her. Her fingers dig into my shoulders, eyes going wide, mouth open as I keep sinking into her, deep as possible.
Those short, breathy nonsense sounds she makes drive me crazy. So crazy that, while I’m using my arms to cushion the parts of her jammed up against the wall, I can’t stop myself from ramming into her.
“Yes, Rock. Just like that. Right there,” she gasps. Her legs tighten around me, fingers digging into my skin. My girl is completely with me, loving every brutal thrust.
“I need…I need you, Rock.” I doubt she’s aware of what she said, but it pushes me right over the edge. That’s what I needed to hear. She’s tight and trembling in my arms, her pussy locking down on me. Her soft moaning and panting fills my ear. Her face is flushed—a stunning light pink, lips parted, face tense as she concentrates on coming. So beautiful. I’m done. Crushed under the weight of her beauty and trust. I keep pounding into her until I’ve got nothing left to give.
My legs are still trembling as I straddle Rock’s bike on the way to his house. No matter how chilly the night air whipping around us is, there’s a warmth in my chest that can’t be extinguished. Rock’s love and faith in me mean everything. The makeup sex is great, don’t get me wrong, but those two things are priceless. I think I
can put up with all the other demands of the club as long as I have his respect and trust.
Once we get to his house, Rock silently leads me inside.
“Are you hungry, baby doll?” he asks in a hoarse voice that makes my heart clench.
“A little.”
He sits me down at the table and goes to work making something simple. Before he sits down to eat with me, he sets two wineglasses and a bottle of red on the table. I quirk an eyebrow at him, and he shrugs.
“Surprised the biker has fancy stemware?” he teases.
“A little,” I answer honestly.
He nods, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth as he pours the wine.
After dinner, I help him clear the table, and he leads me upstairs.
Butterflies flutter around in my belly. I can’t believe I’m ready to jump him again so soon.
Just outside his bedroom, he pauses. Suddenly his demeanor radiates a certain significance that makes my tummy quiver for different reasons. My plans to race him to the bed and be naked in his arms within the next five seconds are suddenly put on hold.
He takes my hand and pulls me into the bedroom.
“Baby doll, I want to have a talk with you.”
“Uh-oh.”
Hope’s wariness made me feel like an asshole. There’s no reason for me to be so fucking dramatic, except I’m nervous. Very few things in life get my heart racing. But this conversation I’m about to have with Hope? Yeah, my pulse is easily going one hundred and twenty miles an hour.
But I opened my big mouth. Shutting down now would only make things weirder.
Curving my hands over her hips, I nudge her to the bed. Maybe this conversation would be better naked?
But no, I’ve dicked around too long as it is.
Pulling a chair over, I sit in front of her and take her hands in mine. Even though I’ve gone over this conversation in my head dozens of times, it still takes me a minute to line up the words the way I want them to come out.
“Hope, baby. You know how the guys keep referring to you as my ol’ lady?”
She lifts one shoulder and nods. “I used to get annoyed when people thought I was younger, but I can’t say I’m thrilled about being called ‘old.’”
Instantly, I’m thrown back to the day we met. I’d originally pegged her at about six years younger than her age. I chuckle at the memory of the first time we had lunch together and I mistakenly told her she’d make a fine stripper. Man, I was an asshole.
“Fair enough. But it’s not about age in my world. It’s about respect.”
She doesn’t snort or roll her eyes. She’s listening intently.
Reaching up, I draw one finger down her arm and take her hand again. “It means our relationship is permanent. Stable. It’s a way to warn my brothers to stay the fuck away from you.”
Her lush lips curve into a wicked smile. “I’d say you’ve done an admirable job of that.”
I want to smile at her teasing words, but she also needs to understand how serious I am. How serious what I’m about to explain is.
She meets my eyes with her soft green ones and flutters her lashes at me.
I won’t let her pretty owl-eyed expression distract me from my mission. “Ol’ ladies are the most important females associated with MCs.”
Now she’s wearing this cute baffled expression.
“Calling you that lets my brothers know I’ll throw down for you. It means I trust you to never talk about club business. It earns you their respect and loyalty.”
She snorts at that. “Please. Wrath has been mean to me since day one.”
The corner of my mouth twitches, but I stop it from becoming a full-blown smile. “Yes. While ol’ ladies are important, they’re also a threat to the club in a way.”
Her eyebrows draw down in confusion.
“I don’t want to get off track here, but that patch Wrath wears—sergeant at arms—it’s not just decorative. It means he’s responsible for the safety and security of the entire club. His job is to protect and defend the members. But his loyalty is to me. And with you being a civilian with no experience in our world and being a lawyer, he had valid concerns that you could harm the club—even unintentionally.” She goes to speak, and I hold my hand up. “I’m not saying I approve of his methods, but you’ve always managed to hold your own, yeah?”
“I guess,” she grumbles. Good, I don’t feel like giving her a lesson on the structure of the whole damn club. We’ve got much more important things to get to.
“So by being my ol’ lady, that makes you my property—”
“Excuse me?”
“Again, it’s about respect and commitment, Hope.”
“Doesn’t sound very respectful,” she mumbles loud enough for me to catch each word.
I give her a hard stare. “In my world, it is. We’ve already talked about the differences, remember?”
She grinds her teeth and huffs, then finally nods.
“Property just means you’re under my protection and under the protection of all my brothers. Remember the night of the fight when Z said he’d kill anyone who fucked with you?”
“Yeah, but people say stuff like over my dead body all the time.”
I shake my head. “Yes, but again. In my world, it actually means something. Z wasn’t talking out of his ass. He’s the one who went with me to take care of those two assholes that ran us off the road, by the way.”
Resembling an unruly five-year-old, she slaps her hands over her ears and yelps, “Don’t. Want. Details!”
I snatch her hands back. “Okay, okay. But, you get what I’m saying? That goes for all of them. Bricks, Teller, Murphy, and especially Wrath.”
“But they would do that for Trinity too, and she doesn’t belong to anyone.”
“She belongs to the whole club, Hope.” I circle a finger in the air, then press it over her heart. “You belong to me.”
Her eyes flutter shut and then open. I see her turning my words over in her head, and I can tell she’s got a bunch of questions. For now, she keeps them to herself.
“You’re protected by the club, but you’re not available to the club,” I clarify.
Her face pinches.
“I know for a fact Trinity has explained to you that she is fine with that arrangement, so do not get offended on her behalf. That’s her choice.”
A quick chin lift tells me that although she agrees with what I said, she’s not happy about it.
“As the president’s ol’ lady, you rank higher than her. That’s why she gets so freaked out when you offer to help her in the kitchen and stuff.”
“That’s ridiculous. She’s been here for years and knows way more than me.”
“Doesn’t matter, doll. That’s how it is. But I want to tell you something. You’ve earned her respect and the guys’ respect by never rubbing that in her face.”
“How could I, when I didn’t even know?”
I cock my head to the side. “Come on, Hope. You’ve never treated any of the girls badly unless you were forced to. Ol’ ladies usually straight up ignore club girls.”
“Why?”
Yeah, we’ve veered off topic and I’m eager to get us back on track, so I’m going to let that question slide.
“Anyway—”
“Don’t ‘anyway’ me.”
Fine. “You know how you felt that night when Cookie got in your face?”
“Yeah, but Teller said that’s not normal.”
“It’s not, which is why I banned her. But remember Roxy and her crew? Clubs girls are only around for sex. Imagine being around girls who’ve been with your man or you know still are with your man when you’re not around. It gets uncomfortable sometimes.”
The battle goes out of her, and she deflates like a balloon. Not what I wanted. “Doll, I cannot do anything about my past. We talked about that. But you’re my future. Some guys still fuck around on their ol’ ladies, I won’t deny it. You don’t ever have to worry. I waited
my whole life for you. I’m not gonna fuck it up by tapping every bitch who looks at me sideways. Been there, done that.”
All at once, the fire is back. My girl really hates when I use the “b” word.
“Normally ol’ ladies segregate themselves from club girls altogether. Unfortunately, you don’t have that luxury since you’re the only ol’ lady.” I give her a smirk, which thankfully she returns.
Time to wrap this up and get to the point. “So, you understand that in any crowd of bikers, whether Lost Kings or some other tribe, an ol’ lady being LOKI property is not a derogatory thing. It’s a respect thing. If we had a visiting club here, none of them would approach you unless I okayed it.”
“That’s just weird.”
“Look at it this way—no one is going to hit on you.” She should appreciate that. Girls usually hate unwanted attention, right?
“Great. Put me out to pasture. Call me old and have me thinking every man in the world thinks I’m an ugly hag?”
“What?”
“Sometimes girls like to be hit on. It reaffirms we still look good. You’re taking that away from me.”
Is she fucking with me?
“Babe. In my world, hitting on another man’s ol’ lady is absolutely not tolerated. It is grounds for a beat down.”
She leans over and kisses me softly. “Then you better compliment me often.”
My desire for her is slowly strangling my balls. “In about five minutes, I’m going to have you bent over that bed showing you how fucking hot I think you are.”
Her cheeks flush red, and she gestures for me to hurry up.
“Trust me, I’ve had to threaten every one of my brothers with physical violence at one time or another because they’ve affirmed how good you look.”
A slow smirk spreads across her lips, and a little too late it occurs to me I should have kept that tidbit to myself.
“Even Wrath?” She scrunches her nose in disbelief.
“Especially him,” I growl. “Especially after that incident in the garage,” I remind her. She turns a nice shade of pink at the memory.
Raking my fingers through my hair, I grit out, “Can I please finish?”
“I’m all ears.” She sits back, crosses her legs, and gives me her best attentive student stare.