Whoa. “Let me? Did you just say ‘let me’? Are you serious?”
Rock’s mouth twitches, and I can tell he’s swallowing whatever he wants to say, and it’s not coming easily.
“Didn’t he like heavy metal?” Rock asks with his mouth twisted as if he’d been sucking on a lemon. This is his version of being diplomatic.
I’m shaking with laughter at how hard he’s trying to control his comments. And after what I’ve just learned, I understand where he’s coming from a lot better, so it’s easier to dial down my irritation. “Not so much,” I answer.
Rock nods, and I stand up on tiptoes to brush a quick kiss over his lips. Heat flares in his eyes, and we stand there staring at each other.
“Where’d Lilly run off to?” Z asks, snuffing out the fire between us.
Facing Z, I shake my head. “No clue.”
He whips out his cell phone with a look on his face that says he’s debating calling her.
“You want me to text her?” I ask.
“Naw, that’s okay.”
I do it anyway because I feel like I owe Z.
Where’d ya go?
At the bar.
Tipping my head up, I catch Z studying me. Rock has wandered over to talk to some of the guys from the band. “She’s at the bar out front.”
The corners of his mouth curve up, and he taps my shoulder before he walks out.
There’s a bit of a commotion at the door. Through the high, square windows, I can see Z in the hallway talking to someone. He finally walks away, and two girls push through the swinging doors. I recognize them from the MC. One of them is the wench who’s been giving me shit for a couple weeks now. Her name is Roxy or Foxy, something stupid like that. She's a sly little bitch because she always manages to needle me when Rock’s not around. She somehow catches me when Trinity’s occupied too. Little digs about her relationship with Rock. She insinuates that when he’s up there without me she’s with him, which I know is bullshit. Me telling her to fuck off hasn’t done the trick yet. I think she is angling for a physical confrontation, but that’s just not me.
The ugly bitch with her, Cherry, likes to inform me about Rock’s past preference for three-ways. They’re a charming little duo, even more annoying when joined by their third sidekick, Ginger, who thankfully I don’t spot with them tonight. Foxy is short and what I guess guys would refer to as “thick” with bleached-blonde hair, wild tattoos, and piercings. Cherry is also short but skinny as a rail and has clown-colored red hair.
Rock seems to have no one “type” when it comes to the women he fucks.
One of the band guys calls out to Cherry. When she sees Rock, she squeals and is all over him. He politely pushes her away but keeps chatting with her, which pisses me off royally. Foxy spots me and struts over.
Because she’s such a classy gal, the first thing out of her mouth is, “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“My friend is dating Jonny Cage. They put us on the list.”
Her eyes widen, and I wonder if she was planning to bag Jonny tonight. Inwardly I chuckle, because while I may not have the guts to kick her ass, Sophie most certainly does.
She spins and heads back into the club.
Bye, bitch.
Rock finishes his conversation and heads my way. Cherry follows close behind until she spots me.
“You ready to go, babe?” Rock asks with a big grin on his face. Yeah, I’m ready to go home and crawl into bed. Alone.
I really can’t take my girl anywhere. Christ. I figured she’d be safe backstage—mistake on my part. Seeing that greasy motherfucker groping her almost sent me over the edge. The little bastard is lucky he’s still alive. I might’ve felt bad for crushing the windpipe of the singer for one of Jonny’s support bands if Jonny hadn’t broken the guitarist’s thumbs.
We make a good pair. We both got stubborn women to take care of, and neither of us has a problem getting our hands dirty.
“You’d make a good King, Jonny.” I joke on our way back inside the club.
He grins at me. “This rockstar thing doesn’t take off, I might take you up on that, man. Fucking bullshit that happening backstage to our girls. I should hire you for security, especially when we play shitholes like this that don’t even pretend to search people for weapons.”
Yeah, the lack of security in this joint hadn’t escaped my notice. I can’t believe Hope and Sophie used to hang here a lot when they were in law school.
Unfortunately my big mouth said exactly that when I saw her. From the hurt on her face, I think she took my comment as disrespecting her husband, which wasn’t my intention. I’m just all twitchy from seeing her molested right in front of me. I know she thinks she’s tough and can handle herself, but I gave it a second and the creepy asshole still didn’t remove his hands from her ass.
Fuck.
It’s not her I’m mad at, so I try to simmer the fuck down by going back outside.
When I return, Z seems to have imparted some wisdom that’s calmed her a bit.
The band liked the green I brought tonight, so I quietly make my way over to discuss future business with them. I don’t need Hope overhearing this, but I’d rather not miss this opportunity.
I’m shocked as shit when Roxy and Cherry show up. Had no idea they ran in these circles. But bikers and rockers overlap more than you think, so it shouldn’t surprise me. Roxy and I had a thing awhile back. Cherry not so much, although she’s never stopped trying. Since Hope came into my life, Roxy has made herself scarce.
Even though the house lights are on and the show ended a while ago, the bar is packed. On our way out, Hope darts over to talk to Lilly for a second. I give Z a shoulder slap.
“Working it out?”
The corner of his mouth twists, and he gives me a subtle head shake.
After the girls hug, Hope marches to the door.
Something is definitely on her mind, but I’m not sure what.
The weed?
The ass-grabbing and subsequent beat-down?
My big, stupid mouth?
Take your pick.
As we’d planned, Jonny’s taking Sophie home. Rock and I leave the club by ourselves. A storm of emotion is brewing through me, brought on by seeing those two skanks from the MC. As he opens the car door for me, he stops to study my face.
“You okay?”
Let it go.
But I can’t. My racing thoughts speed away, leaving me out of control and close to tears.
“No.”
His startled expression triggers my anger. For someone so in charge and in control, how can he be so fucking clueless? “Why don’t you ever pay such close attention to me at the clubhouse?”
“What? None of my brothers would ever harm you, baby doll.”
“No. Not the guys. Do you have any idea…never mind.”
His fingers tighten on my chin, lifting my face to him. “Hope, talk to me.”
“The guys treat me well. Except Wrath, but I don’t care about him lecturing me and always trying to scare me away—I can handle him. What hurts…” Pain closes my throat, making it impossible to get the words I want to say out.
Tears roll down my cheeks. God, I’m such a coward and a baby. I’m thirty-three years old. My boyfriend is thirty-fucking-eight. Of course he’s slept with other women. I’ve known this all along.
But in a “normal” dating situation, I wouldn’t be expected to spend so much time with his past conquests or take shit from them.
My tears alarm him. “Hope, baby, tell me what’s wrong. Why are you crying?”
I take several deep breaths, trying to loosen my throat and calm myself.
“You’re all worried about me going to clubs and guys hitting on me, but you think nothing of letting those catty bitches at your clubhouse try to rip me apart. Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to be around them, knowing they’ve been with you and are waiting for the day you finally get bored with me so they can jump you again?”
&nbs
p; “Honey, I told you—”
My hurt and sadness suddenly mutates into anger. “No, what pisses me off is I’m expected to cat fight with those bitches and claim you like some piece of territory, right? That’s what ol’ ladies do? But I can’t do that. That’s not who I am. You want me to accept your bossy caveman crap, then you’ve got to accept who I am too.”
The confusion on his face is visible. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Honey, when one got in your face, I got rid of her. I offered to get rid of the rest, and you told me not to.”
The hard lump settles back in my throat, but I squeeze out the words anyway. “I didn’t realize how horrible it would be week after week. I want to fight my own battles, but I can’t deal—I feel like such a coward. I’m too soft for your life, Rock. I settle things with words, not my fists.”
“Baby doll, I love you just the way you are. I love how soft and sweet and smart you are. I’m so fucking lucky to have you. I love that you always handle yourself with class. I don’t want my woman off starting cat fights and embarrassing me.”
“I hate sleeping in that fucking bed, knowing how many skanks have shared it with you,” I grit out before I even realize what I’m saying. Panic and sorrow threaten to overwhelm me. I’d feel less exposed if I were standing out here buck naked.
Rock’s hands cup my shoulders, and he leans down into my face. “Babe, no one else has ever been in that particular bed but you and me. I promise you I ended all of those relationships. I’ve never lied to you. I told you the absolute truth—I haven’t been with anyone else since that day I left you at your house.” In the middle of his speech, he’s managed to maneuver me so I’m sandwiched between his hard chest and the cold metal of the car behind me. Warm lips press against my forehead.
“Please don’t punish me for shit I’ve done in the past, Hope.” His low, gravelly voice is unusually strained.
“I’m not.” I blink rapidly, trying to stop the tears. “It just hurts.”
His rough fingers stroke my cheek. “Baby, I’ve done everything possible to make it clear to everyone that we’re together.”
I snort out a humorless laugh. “I know.”
“If they’re giving you shit, you have to tell me, or Trinit—”
“Don’t you dare put this on her. She’s been nothing but sweet to me, but she’s not supposed to be my babysitter.”
“I can’t fix it if I don’t know. Give me names so I can take care of it.”
“Jesus Christ, have you really screwed so many women you can’t even remember?”
“Hope—”
“This is stupid. I shouldn’t have said anything. Can you take me home now?” I can see he wants to argue, but I push him back. “Please. Take me home. Now.”
Shame isn’t an emotion I waste a lot of energy on. At the moment, though, I’m feeling a fuck lot of it crashing over me. For years I told myself I was only fucking around so much until I found the right woman. I wish it had occurred to me how those encounters would affect any future relationship. Deep down I’ve worried all along Hope and I were not meant to be. We’re just too damn different.
She deserves better than me.
But I can’t let her go. I love her too fucking much. And I can’t stand seeing her hurting. Knowing it’s my fault is even worse. She’s obviously been holding onto this pain for a while, not wanting to admit any vulnerability. Trying to be strong for me, because she thinks that’s what I want her to be.
After she handled herself so well with Cookie and Inga, I figured things were fine. I should have fucking known better. Those catty bitches would mistake Hope’s sweet personality for weakness and try to exploit it.
I’m trying not to dwell on the fact that she asked me to take her home.
“Babe, I think we need to talk about this more.”
“I can’t tonight, Rock. I need some space.”
Fuck me. It should have sunk in when she and Sophie were making those jokes earlier. One, Sophie knew exactly what Hope was talking about, so obviously Hope has been distressed enough to talk to Sophie about the situation. Two, Hope’s wild laughter seemed a little too out of control and forced. But tonight is the first time we’ve really hung out with her friends like this, so I assumed I was discovering another side of her.
My knuckles are white from gripping the steering wheel with so much force. With every mile closer to her house, my gut is screaming to ignore her request and take her home with me so we can work this out.
But hounding her isn’t going to solve the problem. I should have done something sooner. In my defense, this is the first time in years any of the brothers have had anyone approaching an ol’ lady. Bricks hasn’t been a patched brother for very long, and he never introduced his ex to the MC. I should have realized it would come as a shock to some of the club girls and they wouldn’t behave themselves. Obviously Roxy and Cherry must be two of the culprits, because seeing them tonight seemed to be what triggered Hope. Christ, I’ve never even fucked Cherry. She started tagging along with Roxy during my self-imposed celibacy thing, so I avoided her. Doesn’t mean she hasn’t been filling Hope’s head with lies, though.
I didn’t want to focus on it, but the comment about the bed really got to me. Cause I got rid of my old one the minute I decided to make Hope mine. I don’t think the significance of what I revealed to her sunk in.
Most of all, I’m furious with myself. I waited a long time to be her man. My job is to protect her from all threats, and I’ve failed. Doesn’t matter if the threat is the girls who hang around my clubhouse. If I’m going to insist she spend time in my world, it’s not fair that she’s miserable there. Hope’s strengths are in other areas. If I wanted a hair-pulling, face-scratching, brawler for an ol’ lady, I could have had my pick. But I love how kindhearted my girl is. I don’t want her to change who she is for anything or anyone. Everything in me wants to protect her and keep her safe, so, it’s time I step the fuck up and do a better job.
Walking her to her door and saying good night fucking sucks. Her eyes are all red and wet. Words aren’t my thing, so the right ones evade me. I’d give anything to see her smile right now.
“Baby, everything will be okay. I’ll fix this,” I try to reassure her.
“Please just forget I said anything. I don’t want to be the cause of trouble in your club.” Something dark and uncomfortable spreads through me with her words. She’s more composed now, and every calm blink of her eyes stokes my worst fear. That I’ll lose the woman I love. I’m so focused on keeping her safe from physical danger I’ve forgotten that I’m capable of pushing her away all on my own, just because of the people I associate with.
I press my palms to either side of her face. “No, baby doll. I’ve been doing a piss-poor job of taking care of you, and that ends now.”
She tries to shake out of my grasp, but I hold her still. Lowering my head by degrees, I seal my mouth over hers. She tastes so fucking sweet, and I desperately want to lick her all over. I relax as her lips open under mine, allowing my tongue to dip inside to stroke over hers. She surges up on her toes, pressing into me. A quiet moan from the back of her throat gets me hard as cement in no time. Slender fingers curl into my leather cut, pulling me closer.
A few seconds later, her hands flatten against my chest and push me back. She chokes on a soft sob.
“Baby, no.”
She wriggles out of my embrace and pushes inside. “Text me when you get home,” she asks before shutting the door.
I guess it’s something.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Hope asked me to leave Trinity out of it, but what she doesn’t realize is that it’s Trinity’s unofficial job to make sure the club girls behave themselves. I’m not mad at her. Not at all. I know how sneaky these little bitches can be, but I do want to get some information from her.
Knocking on her door gets me nowhere. Turning around, I see Teller working out in the gym and duck my head inside. “You seen Trin?”
He frowns. “
Last I saw, she and Wrath were in the war room watching a movie.”
I’m not even sure how to respond to that. The fuck?
Sure enough, I find them coming out of the war room together. I’m not even going to ask.
“Trin, I need to talk to you.”
Wrath squeezes her shoulder and whispers something in her ear. As I approach, Wrath gives me a chin lift. “How was the show?”
“Fine. Need to talk to you about some stuff.” I made a deal we’ll need to hammer out. But Hope’s comments about the way my best friend has been treating her have me really pissed off at the moment. “We can discuss it tomorrow, though.”
“Hope come back with you?” Trinity asks.
My gaze darts to Wrath, who finally takes a hint and gets lost.
“No, that’s kind of what I need to talk to you about.” Unlocking the war room, I usher her inside. We pull out the two chairs closest to the door and sit facing each other.
“What’s wrong, Rock?”
“You notice any of the girls hassling Hope?”
Trinity thinks it over. “Besides me, she talks to Swan a little bit. She never talks shit about Hope. Same for Envy and Breeze.”
All girls I’ve never slept with, so that doesn’t surprise me. But, I seize on another part of what she said. “Who has been talking shit about her?”
Trinity’s mouth twists. “Fucking Roxy. She’s a cunt.”
I can’t stop the sharp bark of laughter that escapes me. It’s rare to hear Trin use that word. Then I remember after I took myself off the menu, Roxy went at Wrath pretty hard for awhile.
“She give you shit too, Trin?”
Trinity shrugs. “Of course, but I can handle it. You think she’s been hassling Hope?” My shoulders lift. I have no idea, because Hope won’t open up to me. “When? Either you or me is usually with her when she’s up here,” Trinity finishes.
“I don’t know. She wouldn’t give me names.”
She cocks her head to the side. “Want me to ask her?”
“Nah, she’ll know I put you up to it.”
Trinity sinks her teeth in her bottom lip as she’s thinking over the problem. “If Roxy’s giving Hope shit, then Cherry will be in on it too.”