“It is your new home.” He said.
“What do you mean?”
Antonio held out his hand and led me to the front door. “I bought it.”
“Why?” I put my free hand over my mouth and tried to blink away tears. No one had ever done anything like that for me before.
“You deserve better than having to live with that horrid man and woman. They feed off your success like leeches.”
My hand was shaking as I released his and reached for the door. “I… don’t know what to say.”
“Thank you will suffice.” He said with a smile. It made him more handsome than the frequent serious expression he wore.
At that moment, the door opened before I had a chance to do it myself. My mother was standing there. She pulled me into a desperate hug. I was stunned. The tears fell then.
“Mamma….”
“I am glad you are okay, my daughter.” She said.
Slowly, I removed myself from her hug. “I thought I’d never see you again. Or father. Is father home, too?”
My mother closed her eyes and shook her head quickly. “No. Your friend was able to clear my name, but it was too late for your father.”
I turned around to speak to Antonio, but his boat was already disappearing into the distance. He didn’t allow me the chance to thank him or ask him about the tremendous act of kindness.
“Come inside, child.” Mother said. I stared after the departing gondola with longing for a moment before following her inside.
“I don’t understand him, Mamma.” I confessed.
She led me into the kitchen and poured us both the best wine in the house. Everything appeared to be just how we had left it. “He probably feels the same way about you. You like him?”
“Yes.”
“Little else matters. Win him. He obviously cares for you.” She said. “It is great to be home. Empty without Zacharia.” A frown snuck onto her face before she forced it away. “You are no longer that innocent little girl, are you? I am sorry you had to see the world for what it is.”
I shrugged slightly. “I kind of like the life I’m living now. Even more now that you have returned.”
She gave a shake of her head. “Just be careful. When the hearts of men become involved, danger can follow.”
“I will.” I gave her another hug. “Let me catch you up on everything.”
We spent the entire evening drinking and talking until we were giddy from the alcohol. Laughter filled the halls of my home once more. I no longer had to sleep under the roof of people I despised. I was home and I vowed to repay Antonio someday. The opportunity presented itself sooner than I expected.
***
The sky brightened with each moment that I stood gazing out over the balcony. Flowers had overgrown their potting and grew wildly. That was how I felt. I was the same woman, only free to grow and discover a new world. I leaned against the wall, resting my head as I watched life awaken.
“Are you happy?” Antonio asked and I turned away from the window, startled at the unexpected voice. My hair was a mess and I had no make-up on. I wore an old, simple nightgown I’d had for years. My appearance fell short of my usual courtesan standards because I had not known he intended to visit.
“Yes.” I stepped toward him, but he held up his hand to stop me so I did. “I never had the chance to thank you yesterday.” I said.
“You needed time with your mother. She went out to purchase some fresh food a moment ago. Invited me to dinner.” He laughed a bit, shaking his head. “Can you believe that?” The remnant of a smile faded quickly.
“Are you going to come?” My voice held a heavy hint of longing. The tension grew.
Something flashed in his eyes and I realized what I said had a double meaning for both of us. “Do you want me to… come?”
Meekly, I responded with a yes. He was moving closer to me, each step sent my heart racing faster and faster. I thought I would be out of breath before he even reached me. When he did, he put one hand up to my cheek and ran his thumb over my bottom lip. I pressed my lips against it and looked up to him seductively. I didn’t have to act or try with him. Every response was sincere.
“Dante is going to ask you to be his mistress exclusively. He… has an interest in you as more than a courtesan.” Antonio informed me.
“I will tell him no.”
Antonio struggled, trying to resist the attraction that was drawing us together. It was too strong for either of us. “You cannot. He has more power than you think.”
His lips found mine so I couldn’t argue. Before I knew what was happening, my gown was on the floor and I had been swept off my feet into his arms. With ease, he carried me over to the bed and gently placed me on the soft mattress where I had dreamed up fantasies that couldn’t compare to what was happening at that moment.
“I am a dangerous man, too. My… father was a murderer. Tell me no. Tell me and I will leave you alone.” He begged of me as I reached up and ran my hands over his now bare chest. How had he disrobed so quickly?
“I want to tell you yes. I want to scream it with abandon along with your name. It matters not who hears or what happens.” I had never revealed such emotion to my other lovers, but no one else made me feel like Antonio. My cheeks burned a little and I knew I was blushing. The whore was blushing!
He lightly touched my cheek with his fingers. “You are magnificent as you are now, the most beautiful woman I have ever beheld. I wish I could wake up each morning to see you like this.”
Our lips met and I would have sworn it was our destiny to be together. We were like one person torn from the same fabric of the universe and finally joining together once more. Lovers, that when death came, would be cast into the sky by the gods to become stars and form a constellation together for eternity.
I was young and falling in love for the first time. It was either one of my greatest mistakes or the best experience of my life.
“You can have me always.” I told him. There was nothing I wanted more than to wake up beside him every single day.
His lips brushed against my neck and I held my breath, expecting to feel the strange stinging sensation that I did with Dante. There was only his mouth and warm breath. No pain. “I cannot love you because I cannot have you. Just for today, just this once, I will take you.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but only a moan slipped from them as Antonio did what he promised. He took what he needed while sending me to heights of ecstasy I had never before reached. Each kiss, each touch, each thrust propelled me to a higher plane of consciousness.
***
Afternoon sun lit the city before we both collapsed from exhaustion. I recall sitting astride his muscular body with my eyes closed. When I close my eyes, I can return to that moment. I hear his heavy breathing, the chirp of birds, and the bustle of Venice outside my window. The scent of man mingled with blooming flowers causes my nose to faintly tingle. I feel the touch of his firm hands on my hips as he arches his hips into me. Then, the word I let slip in a soft whisper that I didn’t think he would hear. The word that Dante said I threw around carelessly. That one tiny word that doomed us all. Love.
“I love you, Antonio.”
When I opened my eyes, he was staring into them with a soft expression. He felt the same way. I knew he did. When he lifted me off his body and sat up facing away from me, my heart shattered. “No.” He said without explanation.
I ran to the window and stared out at the familiar buildings and my balcony haven. Tears streamed down my cheeks and no matter how hard I tried to quiet my sobs, I failed. Antonio was behind me in an instant and soothingly placing his hands on my shoulders.
“Just leave me alone.” I begged.
“If I did not know better than to believe superstitions, I would say you are a witch manipulating my emotions. I am not a… sentimental man by nature. And still, I find my will to control my feelings for you vanishes with a simple smile or just a glance from your emerald eyes.” He turned
me around and when I would not look up at him, he lifted my chin.
Through my tears, my vision blurred. I blinked them away to see his handsome face more clearly. “I do not understand how you can say we cannot be together and then say such sweet words to me.”
“I have hurt you enough and risked your life already. Be well. Remember me. But do not love me.” He kissed my cheek before leaving me confused once more.
Was Dante really that much of a threat? I was sure that I didn’t care. My life was mine and I wanted Antonio no matter what the consequences.
***
Days continued on as they had before Antonio and I had made love. I kept the company of my usual men. It was my job and I hoped it would make the man I loved jealous. Make him realize he loved me, too. He was nowhere to be found. Even Dante had gone eerily silent again.
Then, one day, I had a chance encounter with Antonio while I was out on a stroll with my companion for the day. Antonio was on a date of his own with a woman of higher social status than me. I had seen her before at Dante’s mansion.
“Hello.” Livia called out and waved to me. She was slender, pale, and had untamed red hair. The woman was an exotic beauty.
I gave the sincerest greeting I could, but my face burned and I knew it was red. My anger was boiling over. Despite my intentions to make Antonio jealous, I was the one ending up green with envy.
“Dante is returning this eve. We were on our way with your invitation to the party.” She informed me.
“Th… that is wonderful.” I stumbled a bit over my words. Antonio bore the most serious expression I had ever seen on a man’s face. “I better figure out what to wear. I look forward to seeing you both there.”
She smiled, “See you tonight.” I practically dragged my companion along with me. I had to get away from them. If I travelled far enough, fast enough, I hoped I could escape from the ache in my chest. It was a hopeless attempt.
My escort and I parted ways when I returned home to prepare for the party. He kissed my lips before handing me payment for spending the day with him. The coin was substantial. Each payment ended up being more than the last.
I headed upstairs to my room and fell to my knees, jerking out the bottom drawer of my dresser. Buried under clothing, I had a box full of money which I had been saving since the first time I’d received payment for my love. There was enough to get far away from Venice. Enough to take mother and just leave. Then, I could forget about the heartbreak.
I honestly intended to take the money and run away from the city. For a long time, I stared at the golden coins without moving. The thought of not seeing Antonio, Dante, and the other men held me in place. Being a courtesan in Venice was my life. It was who I was and all I knew how to be. Love was ruining everything. Why did I feel such strong feelings for Antonio and not my other lovers?
A small rapping knock on my bedroom door made me slam the lid of the box down in a hurry and hide it once again. “Evelina?” My mother’s voice called out. “A gift has arrived for the party tonight.”
There were always presents from suitors being delivered. Before opening the door, I wiped the tears that I hadn’t realized were falling from my eyes. “What a nice surprise.” I said, trying to hide my inner turmoil by plastering a smile on my face. This did not fool my mother.
“What troubles you, child?” She walked over and spread my new dress across the bed. A small box was placed on top.
“Nothing. I was worried about what to wear. That is all.”
She shot me a sideways glance as she ran her hand over the dark green fabric of the evening gown. “I understand this lifestyle can be trying at times. We think we are strong and immune to the weaknesses of the heart. That is, until we meet that one person that sends us head over heels. Your father was that man for me.”
I listened closely without interrupting and waited for her to continue. My mother had spoken little of my father since his imprisonment.
“Like you, I had clientele of high society. These men could give me anything I desired, and more than one had fallen in love with me. In those years, my beauty rivaled yours. One day I ran into your father. He was everything my lovers were not. Violent, uncivilized, and a drunken fool. He grew out of these tendencies. Unfortunately, your Uncle Luca did not. Still… there was something about your father even then. He was handsome and free from the bindings of great social status.” She bowed her head and I could see how painful it was for her to think about him.
“Why do we love the wrong people?” I asked.
“We love the person we are meant to. So follow your heart instead of your mind. If I had listened to my brain, then I would not have you.” She patted my face before giving my cheek a little pinch like she did when I was younger. “It’s just life, my daughter. Live it for the good and the bad because you only get one.”
“Yes, mother.” I said and she left me alone in my room. Neither of us had any way of knowing just how many lives I would end up leading.
Running away became less of an option. I belonged in the city of music, art, and waterways. So, I walked over to the dress and picked up the box. Inside was a string of white pearls. I lifted my hair out of the way and held them up to my neck. The necklace was the most expensive piece of jewelry I had ever received. I placed it on the dress and retrieved the folded note from the box.
I missed you more than I expected. No promises.
~Dante Sanuto
I smiled to myself and clenched the note to my chest. No promises. It was obvious the great lover was reluctantly letting me into his heart. With that came the opportunity to use him to get revenge on Antonio. No longer would I beg or be hurt because the bodyguard denied me. I had renewed resolve and I decided it would be enjoyable pretending to love Dante.
***
Slipping into the emerald sparkling gown and placing the pearls securely around my neck, I became the woman I had to be. I had never worn clothing so exotic and expensive. It was an addiction. The gifts, the sex, and the status of being a premier courtesan were too seductive to deny.
I headed downstairs, skipping a few steps as I had in the innocent days of my youth which now seemed ages passed. “How do I look?” I asked with a twirl in front of my mother.
“Beautiful. I can tell by that smile you’ve decided to follow your heart.” She beamed proudly at me.
She had no idea the extent of my plans and I had no intention of telling her my plot. “Living, Mother. I’m going to live my life to the fullest.”
“Well. Have at it. Your escort is waiting outside.” Her arms wrapped around me briefly as my eyes widened.
“He is here? Dante came himself?” I ran to the window and peered outside. Antonio was there, standing where the gondolier normally would be. Looking upon him sucked the breath out of me. There was a knock on the door and I jumped back. My mother went to answer and welcomed the guest into our home.
“Your place is lovely. It pained me to hear of your loss. If I had only known about the arrest, I could have helped. Ah, but then I may not have had the privilege of getting acquainted with your daughter.” Dante Sanuto stepped further into my house. My mother moved aside when he extended his hand toward me. “Breathtaking.”
“Master Dante… I had no idea you would be arriving in person tonight. The event is your welcome home party after all.” I said, forcing myself not to look out the window at Antonio again. Slowly, I walked up to the noble and placed my hand in his.
Dante lifted my hand a little, but instead of placing a kiss on it as I expected, he lowered his mouth to my lips. The kiss was not short and did not lack intensity. “How could I make a grand entrance without you on my arm?” He said when he broke the contact. “Allow me to see your hair in its full glory.” Without asking and now revealing one of the first hints of his controlling nature, he pulled out a few pins that were holding my hair partially up and adjusted the flowing locks around my shoulders in a way he preferred.
“As you wish. Thank you for the
fine gifts.” I gave him the sincerest smile I could manage even if my emotions were a jumbled mess.
“Only the best for you.” He touched my cheek before turning his attention to my mother. “I shall take good care of her.”
I looked at my mother who held a disapproving gaze. She knew which man I loved and I think she knew what I was up to. “I am sure you will. Enjoy your party.”
We exited my home and Dante helped me carefully seat myself so that I wouldn’t fall into the canal from tripping over the elaborate gown. Antonio’s eyes were on me. I only glanced at him once before avoiding looking at him further.
“You know my most trusted man.” Dante gestured to Antonio. “I hope he has treated you well when I have had to be absent. I apologize for the hasty end to our previous encounter.” His hand ran over my thigh near the spot he was nibbling the last time we were together.
Antonio was our boatman for the evening, leading us toward the mansion. “He’s been great. I saw him earlier with his date.”
Dante started laughing. “Livia?” He shook his head. “She is a wild one that I doubt even Antonio could tame. He sure has a good time trying. His appetite for women is insatiable.”
“I see. I have never seen anyone look quite like her. Where is she from?”
“Her secrecy about her origin is part of her allure.” He said.
“Can you not make her tell you?”
He laughed again. “I could, but for now I like the mystery. You, on the other hand, are even more difficult to figure out.”
This surprised me. “What? Me?”
“Yes. It is strange how you can be so young and seemingly normal and yet have such a profound effect on the people you come in contact with. I have heard tales from your other lovers about how quickly they fall in love.”
“I think they know that I genuinely care about their happiness and their satisfaction.”
Dante leaned close to my ear, lightly giving the lobe a bite. “Could you deny them to focus only on me? My wants… my… needs.” He whispered.
Antonio shuffled his feet a little behind us. I hoped he was uncomfortable. “We have arrived, Dante.” He said, interrupting before I could respond.
“I have all the time in the world, Evelina.” He grinned at me and I thought for a moment I saw fangs. I blinked and they were gone. Had my mind be playing tricks on me? How different life would have been if it were only a hallucination.