COSMIC TALES 7: VIRUS
By
Richard C. Parr
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PUBLISHED BY
Cosmic Tales 7: Virus
Copyright (C) 2015 by Richard C. Parr
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This particular copy of the eBook series Cosmic Tales is licensed for the enjoyment of everyone. It may be freely distributed to others without conditions. Thank you for supporting the author by downloading and reading this story.
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Virus
The last remaining glint of the evening sun faded and extinguished behind the enormous and extensive mountain range. As night fell, the indigenous creatures cowered in their hovels and caves for warmth and shelter as another day came to an end on Nanpin. A wave of air bent branches and curved plants while a thin layer of grass combusted and shrivelled as the legs of the Chromium Bullet touched the planet. Captain Wingclipper switched off the engines and spread himself out over the dashboard controls. He began to snore.
"Sir, I have calculated great errors and illegal activity on my hard drive," said 234. It stood up with a churning whirr of technology, walked several paces and stumbled to its knees. Its arms and legs twitched and flexed in frenzied panic. "Manual shut down in ten seconds, save memory, save memory..."
A bleary eyed Elwood emerged from the command room carrying a half eaten breakfast roll. His eyes grew to double their size when he saw 234 stuttering and buckling under the pressure of its own weight. He ran to the robot and started pushing buttons on its mainframe.
"234...234...restart your battery. 234...oh no. This is really bad. Worse than playing the London version of monopoly, and discovering free parking doesn't exist." Elwood looked into 234's lens and saw the heat from the regular blue interior lighting diminish. The green light on its lower back faded and the robot went limp. A small hiss of smoke seeped out of the battery casing and the metal flap entry point opened involuntarily. The smouldering mess attracted the attention of Rodeena.
"It does that when a change of battery is required," said Elwood, assessing the jungle of wiring and circuitry.
"That hunk of metal was fine yesterday," said Rodeena. "It seems unusual given the change in a drastically short time scale."
"I agree. There could be more to this. What do you think Bink?"
The ball droid bleeped from idle setting into life.
"You sound vengeful. Was this your work? Be honest."
Bink cowered and retreated.
"All right. We're not accusing you of any wrongdoing. Ro, we had better find a robotics specialist on this planet."
"And what about Phoenix?"
They went to the cockpit and tapped the captain's limp torso.
"Sometimes I forget we even have a captain on this ship," said Ro.
"I know what you mean. Thinks he's important. Guess he's not that memorable."
"I heard that," said Wingclipper with a gurgle of resentment.
"So you are alive," said Rodeena. Wingclipper's hand twitched and reached for a button. He pushed it and in a second the main ramp lowered accompanied by the blurting of an urgent reverberating siren. The noise blasted outside.
"Mmmfmupbiginnnn..." muttered Wingclipper.
"Ro, I can't be too sure if he's drunk or genuinely ill. Whichever one it is, we have to get the great womanising lump to a hospital, preferably without female staff. You remember the nurse incident."
"Don't remind me. You grab his legs, I'll take his arms."
"Absolutely not. He can stumble his way to the nearest medical centre for all I care. The last time I was ill he tried to sell me to a flock of overgrown birds of prey. I was mouth fed for two weeks before I was pushed out of the nest and forced to fly. All the other chicklets flew happily away. I fell out of that tree and instead of helping he just laughed."
"Hahahafffmmmurrrgglee..." Wingclipper groaned.
"See, Ro? He's not that ill."
Bink led the way along red flowered fields as the ship's alarm deactivated. Within minutes a convoy of white trucks hovered to their position, coming from a modern, windowless white block of a building situated only a quarter of a mile in the distance. The trucks kept a sufficient gap between themselves and the three as they headed towards the block, trundling along slowly with engines at idle. Elwood and Rodeena looked at each other but did not say a word. When they came to the block they noticed a huge sign out the front. It contained no writing, just teeth marks and gnawing indentations to indicate letters and numbers. The trucks stopped directly behind them.
"Exactly what race are we dealing with, Ro?"
"I'm not sure, but let's hope they're not hungry."
Bink bleeped many times.
"Bad idea," Rodeena replied. "If we arm ourselves it could cause escalation. Let's remain calm. Don't make any sudden movements."
"I'm nervous and I need to fart."
"Don't even try, Elwood."
The doors of the trucks opened and the inhabitants came into view. It was not what either Elwood or Rodeena expected to see: no shirt, trousers, shoes, not a single item of clothing on these beings, covered in short smooth fir, a mixture of light and dark complexions, beady eyes and baring prominent front teeth. They stood about three feet in height and were armed with tiny pistols filled with a suspicious looking purple liquid. Elwood and Rodeena threw their arms upward.
"We are not dangerous," said Elwood. "We intend no harm. Our captain is ill and our robot requires fixing."
At the sound of his voice, the shortest creature stepped forward and shook Elwood's hand.
"Welcome to Nanpin. I am Nipnamnom, a doctor. You see the white block beyond? That is a hospital. You are the first travellers to come here for a while. We are not used to pleasant, peaceful encounters. Forgive us for arming ourselves with powerful shrinking guns."
"Shrinking guns?" said Rodeena.
"Yes. This stuff will turn you into tiny seeds that can be planted in the surface to keep our planet fertile. It was either this or gnaw your cadavers into statues for modern art. We gnawed our settlements and society into existence. We place great emphasis on gnawing. Damn. Damn, damn, damn."
"What is it?" Elwood said uneasily.
"I'm showing you something. Look over there. We built four dams to protect our settlement."
"Magnificent," said Rodeena. "Magnificent," echoed Elwood, feeling a general sense of discomfort at the petite benevolent yet mysterious race.
"We agree to help you if you help us out," said Nipnamnom, chewing on a spare piece of bark and making a miniature figurine for his fireplace.
Suddenly Elwood let out a fart and Rodeena glared at him. There was an epic momentary silence before the group of beaver creatures bowed in reverence.
"You are blessed with great power," said Nipnamnom to Elwood. "Indeed you can be extremely useful to our mission. I must investigate your body further."
"Our ship is back there through the red fields," said Elwood. "You will find them on board."
"Excellent. Follow my team inside the hospital," said Nipnamnom. "Bring your slave woman too."
"Slave woman?" she said to Elwood.
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The single entrance leading inside the medical block slid open diagonally and Elwood and Rodeena were met with a mass outpouring of light. They saw a wide open space where emergency operations were carried out with interns and experienced staff presiding over the many tables. Doctors and nurses travelled tirelessly to and fro, all bearing great big smiles and a benevolent disposition. Bink hovered over a creature receiving an electronic arm while a plant-like alien received an artificial ear.
From a flurry of Nanpinians came two figures on separate trolleys being wheeled through. Onlookers joined the throng and
Elwood immediately sprang into action. He towered over Nipnamnom and saw Wingclipper with his top hat on and a cigar poking out of his mouth, while female Nanpinian doctors examined his stomach. A faint smile spread across his face before he sat up and barfed across three interns. They took notes at this.
After a while, Nipnamnom returned with news for the crew.
"I have performed a full body examination of your friend the human tattoo. We managed to get a few words out of him. It seems he has contracted a very rare type of infection down below, it appears from a plastic bottle, and then somehow he gave himself a stomach infection by drinking from the same bottle. I don't want to know what he was trying to achieve, but there is just one way around this. The bad news: the one known antidote is in the hands of our awkward cousins.
"What about 234?" said Rodeena.
"Can I?" said Nipnamnom.
"Yes, you can talk to my slave," said Elwood, and she slapped him.
"Your robot caught the digital strain of the infection, it appears from fiddling with his own circuits to create electronic signals of immense pleasure. I don't want to know what it was trying to achieve, but..."
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Wingclipper and 234's beds were positioned side by side. Wingclipper opened his eyes slightly and gazed across to his assistant.
"Oh, hell! I slept with a...oh, it's you. Why does my stomach feel so tender?"
He looked the other way and noticed another human male being prepared for an operation. The face met his and a tired look of surprise and excitement grew across it.
"Can it really be? The brewmaster general?" the man said, a wild grin spreading on his skeletal expression.
"Captain Session? What are you doing here?"
"What the hell are you here for, rebel?"
"Apparently I gave myself an infection. How about you?"
"My ship was shot down by the military."
"I can't believe you're still being chased."
"They haven't stopped for five years, man. I got shot and one of my kidneys exploded. They brought me to this cube complex and lucky for me they grow replacement organs. The nice beaver people are caring for me. Didn't expect this level of hospitality on this side of the galaxy. Should be back out in the expanse of space pretty soon."
Wingclipper managed to look down and his heart sank.
"Erm...Session. When did you lose your legs?"
"What? Don't be ridiculous! They're right there. Vanilla painted bubblegum trees of clouded judgement."
"Ok. Nurse! This man's medication is wearing off! Nurse!"
"They should have hung you for that despicable crime, rebel," said Session. "You were a disgrace to the military."
Wingclipper looked browbeaten and could not make eye contact any more.
"Only joking, rebel! You dastardly renegade! The guys consider you an all time hero. Stories fly around the barracks and the bases about your antics. Wingclipper was the best pilot, they say. He was a formidable ground assault leader. Tangible squirming worm tattoo financial walking stick warriors of justice. Oh dear."
The doctor and nurses came and took Sessions to the operating area, then 234 bleeped its diagnostic program into life, running through the installed drivers and preset factory instructions.
"I am 234, a dual gendered assistant, manufactured on Voloxo by the skilled hands of underpaid foreign younglings. How may I be of service?"
234 suddenly sat up and trembled its limbs into activation.
"What the hell's wrong with you, iron mind?" said Wingclipper. "Did I pass on my infection to your hard drive?"
"Something in system...requiring removal...illegal activity...cannot delete...cannot delete."
An unhealthy mechanical whirr resounded through 234's mainframe and Wingclipper heard the reinforced processor working overtime. 234 stood upright with the unease of a person missing their walking stick, proceeded to grab one of the beaver people and lifted the poor creature off its feet. It took 42 Nanpinians and the courageous voice of Wingclipper to pin the robot down and strap it to the bed with its arms and legs still thrashing in overdrive.
As Wingclipper watched, the drugs kicked in and he floated away to another level of consciousness. Both Wingclipper and 234 were transferred to a separate room for specialist treatment while Elwood and Rodeena were updated with events. Nipnamnom confronted them.
"You must hurry with us to acquire the antidote and help us resolve local issues, before your robot loses control and destroys the hospital."
* * * * *
A taskforce was assembled ready for deployment - a hundred Nanpinians prepared to meet their cousins.
"We shall gnaw a route through to the site of the antidote and you will follow," Nipnamnom said to Elwood, then he spoke to Rodeena.
"We have magazines to read and dirty laundry that needs doing."
"No. I'm coming with you," she replied.
"Ok, but we don't want you to get hurt. Are you sure you don't want to stay behind? We have cats and cute pictures of puppies."
"I can lead and act as a lookout."
The crowd of mini beavers erupted into laughter.
"What? What is so funny?" she said.
"Ha. Oh, my. We know reptilian females are incapable of..."
"Of what exactly?"
"Do the dishes."
* * * * *
The Nanpinian smiles dissipated when they saw Rodeena squat next to a bird of prey, and seconds later having touched its feathers, she morphed her entire body into an exact replica of the bird and flew away. Nipnamnom took a sharp intake of breath and didn't speak for a while until Elwood broke his haze.
"So where exactly are you taking me?"
"Through these woods to the biggest dam," said Nipnamnom."From there...well, you will see how everything will unfold."
A sense of expectation and mystery left Elwood with an unpleasant anticipation of danger and unpredictability. He wondered what kind of beings he would encounter when getting to the dam.
The journey along the woods was fairly sombre and quiet. The Nanpinian task force bit their way forwards, clearing a path of trees and shrubbery and making their access to the dam easier and a quicker option than scaling the neighbouring mountain. Elwood saw the spectacle towering over them - a giant pile of felled trees creating the perfect seal of a beaver dam, like many he had seen before, but on a vastly superior scale. A feature of wooden aptitude. The team scaled the sides of the dam, Elwood being dragged upwards by swathes of strengthened animal arms, until they reached the summit, at which point the golden feathered bird of prey landed and perched between Elwood's elbow and wrist.
"There is a primitive race arriving in boats," said Rodeena. "They do not look pleased to see us."
Elwood considered the word 'primitive'. He imagined savages. He trembled with the thoughts of his aggressive British ways. Inside him was an urge to pillage, manipulate wars between local tribes, and in the background, covertly steal the resources and make off with the tribe's wealth. He fought the urge and reminded himself to behave and not say anything inappropriate.
"Just remember," said Nipnamnom. "Our approaching cousins have an inferiority complex. They think they are equal to us. Don't allow them to touch you either. You don't know what you might contract. Then you would surely end up in a bed next to your tattooed friend."
Elwood trembled again, then saw boats materialise in the distance. They grew larger as they drifted towards the shore, now resembling longboats. They were finely carved and gnawed gems of engineering, bitten from the copse and constructed to the highest of standards. Elwood wondered how many teeth and how many hours of repeated mastication it took to structure the boats into their present shape of refined finesse.
"Take your head out of the clouds and pay attention," said Nipnamnom. "And make no sudden movements."
The primitive cousins of the Nanpinians touched shore with their boats and dismounted in ranks. The leader came forward clad with feathers, animal skins and multi-coloured
shoes. He skewered his staff into the pebbles at the shore and revealed a sharpened tip and a shaft lined with necklaces containing the toe bones of the deceased. To Elwood's surprise, the race bowed in respect, en masse, at their leader's feet, then raised their heads and stood to attention.
"We come for the special medicine to cure the disease of southern fun," said Nipnamnom.
The tribal leader grunted and scoffed. "Cousins, we severed communication with you many years ago on the basis that we knew you would abuse this antidote. You would sell it to make profit from your pharmaceutical industries. It is irresponsible to allow contact with multiple females, then demand an antidote to the problems you have created for yourselves...down there...and it has placed a great strain on our resources. We still have predominant indigenous genes. Your modern ways and abandonment of tradition and ties to the land has secured your obliteration. I see no reason to make an exchange, not unless you can prove your capabilities and advancements."
"What if we gave you money?" said Nipnamnom.
"Yes, that should do it."