“What happened?” Mike towered over her, looking around for a clue.
The jar of artichokes had rolled, unscathed, across the floor and into the pantry, where it seemed to be hiding like a child who knew he was in trouble.
Mike’s voice escalated. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
Erin rocked back and forth, cradling her foot with both hands. “My toe,” she managed to gasp.
Mike grabbed a kitchen towel, ran it under the cold water, and handed it to her to hold as a compress.
Catching her breath and feeling ridiculous for the dramatic burst of emotion, Erin tried to explain. “A jar fell . . . on my toe.”
Mike leaned down to have a look. “Do you want an ice pack?”
“Yes.”
He pulled out a frostbitten ice pack and handed it to her. “What else do you need?”
“Help me to get up.” She couldn’t believe the intensity of pain that was still shooting through her big toe. The metal rim of the jar must have hit right at the cuticle line. She had a sinking feeling that her whole foot was going to be in convalescence for the next few days. This was not good. The last thing Erin wanted to do was show up at the rehearsal dinner tomorrow wearing a sock with lots of padding around the big toe on her left foot. She could see herself hobbling around and watching people’s expressions as she explained that a jar of artichokes fell on her toe.
Mike tried to help her to the bedroom but first she wanted him to see the culprit. As soon as he spotted the huge jar he winced. “Ouch! Oh, sweetheart, I can see how that would hurt.”
She iced her toe and calmed down long enough to sleep, but it was a fitful night.
They rose early to get on the road, and the first thing Mike wanted to do was have a close look at her toe. It had turned a deep shade of purple and still was throbbing.
“You’ll probably lose the nail.” He said it as if he were familiar with these sorts of injuries. He had been the one their boys went to with their sports injuries and was handy with an ACE bandage. This time his recommendation was sandals so that her toe could breathe, whatever that meant.
Erin babied her foot to the car, kept it padded with a rolled-up towel, and iced it for the first hour of the drive. By the time they arrived at the hotel, it didn’t hurt as bad.
Erin wasn’t big on having her toenails painted. When she got a pedicure, which was a rare treat that she didn’t stop to take time for very often, she always had the manicurist buff her toenails instead of paint them. On the drive up, she had sent Mike into a drugstore for nail polish. He returned with three different colors, all in the range of dark plum. Before they went to the rehearsal dinner that night, Erin would make sure all her toenails were plum colored.
That morning she had thrown into her suitcase three different pairs of open-toed shoes since the pair she had bought for the wedding were closed-toed and tapered to a point. For good measure, she tossed in her walking shoes just in case she wanted to wear something protective around the hotel room.
It turned out she needed the walking shoes right away when Jordan asked Mike and Erin to help set up the outdoor venue where the wedding would be held the next day. This was their way of cutting back on expenses. Mike went to work helping Sierra’s dad and two of her brothers set up tables and chairs. Dozens of strings of tiny white lights were already in place, strung from the trees that canopied the beautiful location. Sierra had collected dozens of Moroccan lanterns and hundreds of tea lights that were waiting until tomorrow to be put in place. It was easy to see that the wedding reception in this private park would be magical.
Erin pitched in, helping to wrap the plastic cutlery in a napkin and tie the bundles with colored yarn. She listened in on all the details of the plans Sierra and her mom had made with Sharlene’s help for this picnic-style celebration.
She had heard a lot of the particulars along the way as Sierra would share some of her ideas and as Sharlene would update Erin. The experience gave Erin a new appreciation for what it was like to be on the other side of the business as the groom’s mother.
Erin convinced Mike to take her back to the hotel while the others were finishing up so she could change out of her jeans and walking shoes into the outfit she had brought for the rehearsal dinner. She had a feeling the others weren’t planning to change, but she wanted to. She was the hostess, and Mike was the host. She thought they should show up looking and smelling a little fresher than she was at the moment.
Plus, she wanted to paint her toenails and give them a chance to dry.
Forty-five minutes later, just as they were ready to leave their hotel for the rehearsal, Erin received a call from Dolores.
“We’re not able to come.”
Erin knew that others who were driving into Santa Barbara that afternoon had called to say the traffic was worse than usual.
“How far away are you? Are you at the hotel yet?”
“No, we’re not at the hotel.”
“Okay. Well, you have the information on the restaurant where we’ll be for the rehearsal dinner, don’t you?”
“We got the directions you sent,” Delores snapped.
“Okay, good. Why don’t you just come directly to the restaurant? The rest of us plan to arrive at around seven.”
Delores hung up abruptly, but that wasn’t anything new. Erin was in such a scramble over last-minute details and her role as the rehearsal dinner hostess that she didn’t think to ask where they were or what the problem was. Erin simply expected her father to come strolling into the restaurant in time for dessert and to charm the socks off all of them.
But her father and Delores never showed up.
8
Here’s to me, and here’s to you,
And here’s to love and laughter—
I’ll be true as long as you,
And not one moment after.
When Delores didn’t answer her cell phone after the rehearsal dinner, Mike said they were probably at the hotel sleeping after the long drive. When Erin and Mike met with Sierra’s parents for breakfast in the hotel lobby the next morning, she sent Joel to check at the front desk to see if her dad and Delores had checked in.
Joel came back with a no-show report. Erin tried to call again, but still got no reply on Delores’s cell.
“They have all the information,” Mike said, trying to calm Erin as they dressed for the wedding. “You know your dad. He’s done this sort of last-minute grand entrance before. They probably stayed at a less expensive hotel, and Delores forgot to recharge her phone.”
While Erin knew all of Mike’s suggestions were plausible, she still felt nervous.
“He’s a big boy.” Mike gave Erin a pat on the backside. “He can find his way here. You have another big boy who needs your undivided attention for the next few hours. Don’t let your dad mess with you like this.”
Erin took Mike’s advice and headed for the ceremony all smiles like the rest of the wedding party. She watched for her dad and Delores while the guests were arriving and being seated. Then, as soon as Jordan held out his arm and walked her down the aisle to her chair on the right side, she tuned in to only Jordan and Sierra. Their beautiful, God-honoring ceremony was gorgeous.
When the photographer rounded up family members for photos after the ceremony, Erin sent Joel and Grant on one more search for her dad and Delores. They came back with only shrugs and cheese and crackers from the reception sampler platter. As soon as Erin could step away, she went to the bride’s dressing room, took out her phone, and tried Delores one more time. Still no answer.
In a desperate attempt, Erin called their home number in Oregon. She was stunned when Delores answered the phone at the Hidden Cottage.
“Delores, what are you doing there? What’s going on?”
In a matter-of-fact tone, Delores said, “We decided not to come.”
Erin dropped onto a bench seat covered with clothes in the bride’s room. “What did you say?”
“We decided not to come. We just
couldn’t do it.” Delores’s voice was as slate-cold as Erin had ever heard it.
“Let me talk to my dad.”
“He’s not able to come to the phone right now.”
“Why not?”
“He’s not here at the moment.”
Erin’s heart pounded in her ears. She pictured her father, uncaring and self-serving, sitting at the corner table at Jenny Bee’s, chatting up the waitress and eating a blueberry muffin. How could he do this to her?
“I sent a card,” Delores said with muscle in her tone. “Both your father and I wish your son and his wife the best. We hope this is a happy day for all of you.”
“I don’t even know what to say to that, Delores.” Erin’s jaw clenched. She was certain that Delores, the true decision maker now in their relationship, had convinced her father that she didn’t want to come and be around all those people who didn’t like her. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I can’t believe this. Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t coming when you called me last night?”
“Listen, Erin, you have to hear what I’m saying to you right now. Are you listening?”
“Of course I’m listening.”
“This day is not about your father. It’s about your son. It won’t do you any good to spend the day mad at Jack. You’ll be better off focusing all your emotions in a positive way on your son and his wife.”
Erin was too much in shock to reply to Delores’s firm comment. How dare she say that to me! Why is she telling me how I’m supposed to feel?
Delores was in control of this conversation, as she had been in control of so many things since she had married Erin’s father. Erin knew she didn’t have the emotional energy to stage a coup d’état over Delores’s reigning position. Not now. Not here. Not over the phone.
Erin hung up without saying another word.
The anguish Erin felt brought on a headache such as she hadn’t experienced since her pregnancy with Joel, when her blood pressure skyrocketed. Mike came looking for her.
“Is everything okay?”
She spewed her anger, and Mike listened patiently. He didn’t say anything at first. Then he told her to stay right there while he went for some aspirin. He returned with a bottle of cold water and a tiny bottle of painkillers.
After she swallowed two of the pills, Mike said, “Let’s go on from here. Shake off whatever you’re feeling about Delores and your dad. This is Jordan and Sierra’s day.”
Part of her hated that his conclusion was the same as Delores’s. Another part of her adored her husband for patiently and tenderly helping her to get back on track.
Erin felt herself calming down.
“How’s your toe doing? Is that adding to your stress?”
“No, it’s fine. It doesn’t hurt.”
Sharlene popped her head in the bride’s room. “There you are. They sent me to find you two for the family pictures.” With a closer look at Erin, she asked, “Are you guys okay? Please tell me those are happy tears.”
“My dad didn’t come.”
“I noticed that.”
“I don’t know why he married her, Sharlene. Delores is the most controlling person ever. I’m trying to take Mike’s advice and shake it off.”
“Listen.” Sharlene motioned for the two of them to scoot out the door. “You can complain all you want about her on Monday when we’re back at work. But for now, you have a lot of wonderful people waiting to congratulate you. You also have a son and a new daughter who need you to be here, in the moment, mind, body, and soul. So pull yourself together.”
Erin put on some lipstick and returned to the reception to smile in all the photos. Being immersed in a sea of celebration had a cleansing effect on her wounded spirit. By the time she had danced with each of her sons and felt Mike’s supportive arm firmly wrapped around her waist, thoughts of her father’s absence were put aside. The current of this river of the next generation’s joy carried her through the night and brought her safely to shore in her husband’s arms when they slid under the sheets late that night.
The next morning Erin peeled back all the gauzy layers that had covered her heart wound, and she could feel the anger seeping its poison into her spirit once again.
Crawling out of bed, Erin quietly lifted her cell phone from her purse. She closed the bathroom door and punched in the phone number to her father’s Hidden Cottage.
“Delores, please put my dad on the phone.”
“He’s not able to speak to you, Erin.”
“Please, Delores. Just put him on the phone.”
“Erin, listen to me. I can give him the phone, but he will not be able to speak to you.”
The tiny confines of the hotel bathroom closed in on her. “What are you saying, Delores?”
“Your father had another stroke.”
The energy flowed out the bottom of Erin’s feet. “When?”
“Two and a half weeks ago.”
“What!”
“He didn’t want you to know. You have to believe me when I say that he didn’t want you to know.”
“Delores!”
“I’ll tell you everything, Erin, and you can be as furious as you want, but listen. Since you were here a year and a half ago your father has had four more TSIs, small strokes. Each time he’s felt weak and sick for a few days, and then he would bounce back. The doctor said it’s not uncommon. The blood thinner he’s on is supposed to break up the blood clots that form in his legs. I have taken him to the doctor for testing every month for the past year.”
Erin could barely breathe.
“This last one, though, was different. He got up one morning, said he felt dizzy, and went back to bed. I checked on him later, and he was off.”
“What do you mean, ‘off’?”
“His eyes weren’t focusing. He couldn’t communicate with me. I called an ambulance right away, and he spent three days in the hospital, a week and a half at a convalescent facility, and then . . .”
“Then what? Delores, is he okay?”
“No, he’s not okay. This time the clot lodged in his brain stem. Erin, your father is paralyzed on his right side.”
Erin lowered herself to the floor with a thud.
“He’s unable to speak. He can barely swallow.”
The bathroom door opened, and Mike entered. “Are you okay?”
Erin shook her head. “My dad . . .”
Mike took the phone from her, pushed the speaker button, and went into warrior-husband mode. “Jack, what did you just say to my wife?”
“It’s not Jack. She’s talking to me, Mike.” Delores’s voice came across the speaker with a lifeless, metallic ring to it. “I just told Erin that her father had a severe stroke. That’s why we didn’t come to the wedding. You both can be as angry as you want, but you have to realize he didn’t want to ruin your day. He made it clear he didn’t want you to know. I had to promise not to tell you until after the wedding.”
Delores relayed the same facts to Mike, adding more details as to the severity of the stroke, the very slim possibility that the paralysis could be temporary or that Jack might regain his speech due to the part of the brain affected by the lack of blood during the stroke. She said she had kept a list of the events, the doctors, the meds, and all the insurance information.
“I have a copy of all of it for you.”
Mike turned to Erin. She still felt as if she couldn’t form an expression, let alone a decisive word.
“We’ll pack up our bags and start the drive up there today, Delores.” Mike raised his eyebrows and dipped his chin, looking at Erin for a sign of agreement to his decision.
She nodded.
“We’ll call you along the way and let you know when we think we might arrive. Are you at the hospital?”
“No. They sent him home yesterday.”
They sent him home to die. Erin couldn’t stand the thought of her father, indomitable Jack O’Riley, unable to move. Or to speak.
“We’ll drive straight
through,” Erin said quietly. “We have to.”
Mike had his hand on her shoulder as he asked Delores something Erin wouldn’t have asked if the phone had still been in her hand.
“Delores, put the phone up to Jack’s ear.”
“I can do that, but as I told you, he’s not able to speak.”
“He can listen. He needs to hear his daughter’s voice.” Mike held the cell phone closer to Erin and nodded to her.
Her look at him must have been one of desperation because Mike leaned closer. Calmly and quietly he said, “Tell him you love him. This might be your last chance.”
Erin swallowed and focused her attention on the phone as Mike held it up to her. She could hear Delores’s voice in the distance say, “Jack, Erin wants to say something to you.”
“Dad?”
Before Erin could say another word, she heard a great groan come through the phone followed by what sounded like choked sobs. She looked up at Mike. Was her father crying? Jack O’Riley never cried. Not even at her mother’s funeral. He was the strong one who comforted everyone else.
“Dad? We’re coming to see you. Mike and I are coming. We’re driving up today.” Erin spoke loudly over his groans, even though she felt as if her voice were barely squeezing out the words. “You take it easy, okay? We’ll be there as soon as we can.”
The sound that came over the phone as a response from her father barely sounded human.
“We’re leaving Santa Barbara as soon as we can, Dad. Okay. I’m going to hang up now.”
Mike nudged her onward with his expression.
“And, Dad? I love you.” The tears overtook her before she could stop them.
Mike took the phone back. “I love you, too, Jack. You hang in there, okay? We’ll be there as soon as we can.”
Closing the phone, Mike knelt in front of Erin, and the two of them fell into each other’s arms as Erin cried into the curve of her husband’s neck.
Erin felt numb as she packed their clothes. They left the hotel as soon as they could with a hasty good-bye to friends and family who were still there. Erin could tell that Mike was at the same thin place she was emotionally. After the high of the wedding the day before, neither of them was prepared for the drop-off that came with this news.