Read Count Orlok: The Bloody Truth about the Greatest Vampire to Ever Un-Live Page 6

ORLOK

  Would you say they're...humongous?

  ELLEN

  Definitely. In fact, they might be a little too big.

  ORLOK

  Really?! Then you shall feel them dig into your neck now!

  ORLOK grabs ELLEN and bites HER neck (for real), and THEY fall down to the bed.

  ELLEN

  Oh, Orlok! Bite deeper!

  END ACT 2, SCENE 3

  2.4 THE LEGENDARY FIGHT SCENE! BEGIN!

  The STAGEHANDS come out and remove the window and door, but STAGEHAND 1 and STAGEHAND 2 stare at ORLOK necking with ELLEN.

  STAGEHAND 2

  Mr. Count? Mr. Count? Hey, Orlok?

  ELLEN

  (to ORLOK) Ooooh. That's good. Right there.

  STAGEHAND 2

  So…what do we do here?

  ELLEN

  (to ORLOK) Yes!

  STAGEHAND 1

  Watch?

  THEY laugh.

  JAMIE (OS)

  Next scene!

  STAGEHAND 1

  They’re doing it on the bed. What are we supposed to do about it?

  JAMIE enters.

  ELLEN

  (to ORLOK) Keep going! Don't stop!

  JAMIE

  Oh, God! That's disgusting!

  JAMIE gets a squirt bottle from just offstage and squirts ORLOK. ORLOK reacts as if HE's been squirted with acid.

  ORLOK

  Ahhh!

  ELLEN

  What are you doing?! Water kills vampires!

  ORLOK

  Holy water! Holy water! Only holy water burns my flesh!

  ELLEN

  Holy water? Are you Catholic?

  JAMIE squirts ORLOK with the bottle again.