Chapter 10
When the snow fell, Kristin wasn’t expecting it. It seemed earlier than she was ready for. Ty warned her it would snow randomly all year, though most of it came from the fall to the spring. Once it started, it could go until May, and they’d even get random summer snow. While most of the snow fell through winter, there was no way to know what the weather would be. There was a saying in Wyoming when asking about the weather, that if you wait five minutes, the weather will change. It was unpredictable most of the time, and always kept you guessing.
At least it was a light snow. Kristin dug around the shed and found a snow shovel. If it was deeper, she’d have trouble driving into town. She had four wheel drive, but wasn’t used to actually needing it.
It was official; it was the season to stock up on essentials. Molly rolled around in the fresh coating of snow on the ground, enjoying the change in weather.
She’d been seeing Ty regularly, and when the holidays rolled around, they made plans to visit his parent’s farm. She was both nervous and excited to meet them. There was no way to know how they’d react, and she wondered if they’d have the same ruffled feathers learning she was from New Jersey. She didn’t see what the big deal was. On the east coast, nobody flinched if you were from another area, but out here, it was almost an insult that she was from the small, congested state.
She wished people wouldn’t have expectations of who she would be. It was just an invisible line on a map; people were people no matter where you went. She never quite understood the reaction.
With Christmas approaching them, Ty and Kristin talked about family traditions. She shared a story about how the houses in the neighborhood would all put lights along the curbs of her development. The entire road was lit up like a landing strip at an airport. It started with a few houses, and then more joined in. Soon the entire neighborhood was lit. One of her favorite past times was driving through the area, enjoying all the decorations and Christmas lights. One of the neighbors a street over always seemed to outdo themselves with an over the top display. It was gaudy, but she loved seeing it each year.
He shared stories about his parent’s surprising him with a new saddle one year, a highly polished black leather saddle to replace the old brown leather one that he’d been using for years as a kid.
Kristin made hot chocolate as they shared more stories of their youth. Curling up on the sofa with Ty, she’d never felt more comfortable. It was a natural comfort. She didn’t have to be something she wasn’t – he took her just as she was.
They would spend Christmas Eve sharing an intimate dinner, and then spend Christmas Day at the farm with Mr. and Mrs. Addison.
The days rolled by quickly, and on Christmas Eve, Kristin took a moment to call home. Checking in with her mom, she was pleased to see she was feeling stronger, and getting around much easier. Her father was glad to hear from her, and mentioned how happy she sounded. She knew it was Ty; he filled the hole that was in her heart.
Ty was coming over to her place, and she had a nice dinner planned. She’d even sprung for some Champagne, and made a cherry cheesecake. She hadn’t been sure what to get him for the holidays, and they didn’t really talk about it, but finally decided on a nice watch with a leather band. It was personal, but wasn’t extravagant.
When Ty showed up, Molly greeted him with a bark and a wag of her tail. Bending down, he offered her a special treat. “Shh, don’t tell your mother, she says I spoil you.”
Kristin laughed, greeting him with a hug and a kiss.
“How was your day,” she asked, making small talk.
“Nothing exciting, just the usual.” He pulled her back into an embrace, “Come here, you.”
Kristin turned around, letting him wrap her in his arms. Everything felt right in the world. She never thought she’d be this happy again.
“I’ve got something for you,” he whispered, “but I need more of your sweetness first,” he said, lowering his head. His lips came to hers in a tender kiss.
Reaching into his jacket pocket, he pulled out a long narrow box. Handing the box to Kristin, she smiled. “What is it?”
“You’ll need to open it.”
Removing the wrapping, she opened the jewelry box. A gold bracelet with a heart charm was inside, and turning to Ty she smiled. “It’s beautiful; will you help me put it on?”
As he put it onto her slender wrist, she thanked him.
Excusing herself for a moment, she went and pulled his gift off of the bookshelf, handing it to him.
“For me?” He grinned and opened the present.
“I love it, it’s perfect,” he said. “It’s rugged and handsome, thank you,” he leaned in for a kiss.
Ty opened the champagne, pouring in into the glasses, as Kristin finished supper.
“I don’t have flutes,” she laughed. “These will have to do.”
“It all drinks the same,” he said. “I haven’t had champagne in years.”
After a couple of glasses, they were laughing and sharing dinner. Soon one thing led to another, and bringing the dishes to the counter, Ty swept her into his arms. Kissing her, his hands slowly started to roam. It felt so good, and Kristin had trouble saying no…she wanted to feel his hands on her body. She didn’t want to keep stopping him. She wasn’t even sure why she did. Maybe tonight would be the night.
But something told her she should wait. Wait until things were more serious. Wait until they’d made a major commitment. She couldn’t make love to a man only to lose him again. It would crush her soul. She’d wait. If he was the one, and wanted to be in her life – he would wait.
Pulling back, “Ty, let’s go sit down for a bit. I don’t want to lose control of myself.”
“Losing control wouldn’t be a bad thing,” he said.
“For me it would. It’s not that I don’t adore you. It’s just that I’m afraid of what happens after, worried that I’d lose you.”
“I love you, how would you lose me?”
“I love you too, but I just need to wait. I hope you understand.”
“I’ll wait as long as you need. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have urges. I want to be with you, but I’ll wait until you’re ready – you’re worth it.”
Snuggled on the sofa, they talked about the future and what it meant to them.
An emergency house call came in for Ty, and they were reminded that work came at all hours of the night, and even on holidays.
“I’ll be here tomorrow afternoon to pick you up,” he reminded, before heading out. “Thank you for tonight, and thank you for my watch.”
A quick kiss and he was on his way. Kristin sat on the sofa, looking at her gold bracelet. She loved that man. She never thought she’d feel like this again. She never thought she’d find love, or even allow herself to love again.
So much had changed, and yet she was so content. She made peace with staying in Wyoming. If Ty was here, she was here. Molly was partial to him too.
Wyoming was a different creature than New Jersey. At first she welcomed her with open arms, but for a bit, she started to fear her differences. Once she finally embraced it, knowing it was a different world, she started to make peace with it. Of course, winter was just starting. Ty was telling here how there were some passes they don’t even plow until spring! She couldn’t imagine roads going for months without being plowed. At least she was getting more comfortable driving on the snowier days. She’d had snow back home, but it was heavier and deeper here most times it snowed.
They’d only just begun, with the heaviest, snowiest season about to greet her. It would be an adventure, maybe even a challenge, but it would let her know what she’d be facing if she decided to stay. She was pretty sure she was staying, but it was truly hard to judge, without having spent a full year here to understand what that meant.
Crawling into bed, she thought about the time she’d spent here already. Her life had changed dramatically, and while she had savings to last through
the rest of her year in Wyoming, she realized she’d planned on heading home and finding work when her time was finished here.
If she were to stay, how would she support herself? There was a moment of pause, thinking about the small town she lived near. How far would she have to travel to find a job that would support her? She’d totally forgotten about those kinds of things, since she’d only planned to stay the one year, and had enough to get by, with careful budgeting. Money would be running out by next summer, and then what?
Living out here, finding work would be tough, and her commute could easily be over an hour each way. Reality slapped her in the face. Wanting to be here was one thing, being able to survive and support herself was quite another. Maybe if she was near a city, but she wasn’t, she was out in a remote, rural area. When she set out west, she never dreamed she’d meet somebody that would capture her heart.
She certainly couldn’t ask Ty to take care of her, nor would she. She stood on her own two feet. Once again she was forced to confront that staying here wasn’t that easy. She’d rented this place for a year, but then she’d be looking for a home to rent all over again, if she could even find work.
One step at a time, she tried to soothe her mind before overwhelming herself with details. She wanted things to work out, but there were so many extra pieces to the puzzle she hadn’t even thought about. When she got here, she never intended to stay. And now that she was considering it, it might not even be an option. Thoughts circled her mind, with no easy answer. She finally let the words unwind, and drifted off to sleep.
Waking on Christmas Day, she was met with a snow shower. A fresh coating of a white powdered snow had fallen overnight. Molly bounced around in the snow, and then came back in, ready to spend the day napping.
Going to call her brother to wish him a Merry Christmas, she couldn’t get signal. The spotty coverage out here was frustrating. What if she had an emergency? If she was going to stay, she’d need to move closer to town. This just wouldn’t do.
She enjoyed a leisurely morning, and then got ready for Ty to pick her up. She was nervous to meet his parents, and yet excited to learn more about him.
She hadn’t expected his father to be even rougher around the edges than Ty was, and abrasive, so abrasive. Kristin smiled and nodded, as he spewed garbage about a woman shouldn’t be out living alone like she was, and what she needed was to stop looking to find herself and get on with her life, and she was foolish to be so irresponsible.
She felt shell-shocked, and as Ty finally stepped in, trying to smooth things over, Kristin swallowed hard and whispered she’d like to leave.
“We can’t leave already, it’s early. We haven’t had dinner, and it’s Christmas.”
“I won’t have somebody talking to me that way,” she said, trying to keep the peace, and not go off on Ty for not jumping in sooner to save her from the tirade.
Ty’s mother was sweet and kind at first, but she nodded in agreement. “I’m an old fashioned girl, and can’t see just wasting a year like that, but you modern girls tend to make different choices.” She wasn’t rude, but it was obvious she didn’t approve of her decision.
Pulling Ty aside again, “I need to leave. I’m not comfortable, Ty.”
He looked at Kristin, “They don’t mean harm, it’s just their way.”
“I don’t care what their way is, it’s confrontational and abrasive. I don’t want to be here. Can you please take me home?”
Ty felt torn, not wanting to offend his parents, while seeing that Kristin was obviously upset.
“Ty, I want to leave.”
He nodded, and made an excuse. “Kristin’s not feeling well; we’re going to head out.”
“What? You haven’t had supper, and I’ve been cooking all day. She can go lie down in one of the back bedrooms.”
He didn’t want to speak the truth, so Kristin did, leaving Ty in an awkward spot.
“Thank you for your hospitality, but I’m honestly ready to leave. I’m feeling a bit taken back, even attacked. So, I apologize for our departure, but I really feel it’s best.”
They were stunned. “Attacked? You felt attacked? We were just talking, giving our thoughts on the matter,” his father interjected. “All you modern women need your say, need to…”
“Dad, enough! Give the girl a break. The least you could do is be nicer to her. She’s a guest in your home. This is the woman I love, and I won’t have you talking to her like that.”
His father stared at him, shaking his head. “Go on, then,” and walked away.
Driving home, Kristin stared out the window. She was glad Ty finally said something, but it felt a little too late. He sat quietly as his father threw his opinion at her, telling her what a fool she was, and…
A mule deer shot across the road, causing Ty to slam on his brakes. It snapped her out of her thought process.
“Close one,” Ty said, not saying much else.
“Why didn’t you step in and say something earlier?”
“I didn’t want to be disrespectful to my father, when I knew he wasn’t trying to be rude. It’s just his way. And yet I know you’re more sensitive.”
“I was hurt you didn’t stick up for me.”
“I’m so used to how they are, I don’t really think about it. I’m sorry your feelings were hurt. I should have been more aware.”
On dropping her off, he didn’t lean over to kiss her, and he didn’t come in. “I’ll call you later,” he said, and then pulled out of the driveway. Kristin stood, watching him leave. This wasn’t how she wanted to spend Christmas.
Going inside, she greeted Molly by letting her out, and then called her brother, finally getting through. The baby was due anytime, they saw Mom and Dad last night, and they missed her. He was hoping she’d be back for Christmas, but understood.
Kristin curled up on the sofa, her knees to her chest and thought about life. She’d finally moved forward, but didn’t know if this was the life she wanted. Ty made her feel complete, but she wasn’t in love with the area. Could she leave Ty to go back home, or would she stay here to be with him? She thought she’d decided, and thought Wyoming could be home – but without a job, without a home when her lease ran up, she had no idea where she’d be, or what she’d be doing.
She was crushed with questions that there were no answers to, and the unknowing weighed heavy on her.
When Ty called her the following day, reception was iffy. He said he’d drop by after work later in the week. She was fine with that. She needed time to think. Things might not work out in the end, even knowing there’d be heartache involved. She wasn’t sure this was the life for her – not here.
Going into town, she went into the post office and picked up her mail while talking to Sadie. She said that jobs rarely open up around here, because so many folks rely on them for their livelihood. She would probably have to go over into Lawrence. She suspected so much, and wasn’t feeling excited about the prospect. She’d have to find a place there too, which would make driving in the winter rough to see Ty. She wanted things to fall into place, but life didn’t work that way. She’d have to bend and make the pieces fit, and she wasn’t sure she had the energy to work it all out. It felt like so much, starting over yet again, and going home to what she knew was looking better every day.
Kristin picked up a few things, and then headed back home, only she didn’t get far. Just leaving the main road, she got a flat tire. This was the last thing she felt like dealing with. She’d either have to walk back into town, try to drive on it, which could ruin her rim, or change it herself.
Getting out of the truck, she walked around looking at the tire. Shaking her head, she bent under the back of the truck, finding the spare, and then sat on the bumper and cried. It was all too much. Her father had taught her how to change a tire when she first learned to drive, but she hadn’t actually done it since then.
With a deep breath, she looked under the truck again, and worked to get the tire
out. It was heavy, and as she struggled, she spit out her frustration, yanking at it, finally getting it to fall on the ground. She dug around to find the jack, reaching up into the space.
Pulling the tire out from under the edge of the truck took all of her strength. Sitting down on the tire, she put her head in her hands, frustrated and worn.
She heard the truck, and looking up she saw Ty parking. “What happened, flat tire?”
Standing, she cried. “I hate this place, I hate having to live this way, and I can’t do it anymore.” She couldn’t stop the flood of feelings. “There’s no work, where will I live, what will I do. I only have enough to get by until the summer, and then I was supposed to go home. What am I supposed to do? I fell in love with you, and my entire world changed. You made things better, I felt alive again…but I can’t live here. I can’t do this. I don’t belong out here.”
Ty pulled her close, letting the waterfall of tears and emotions spill out. “Shh, it’s going to be okay.”
Kristin sobbed into his chest, hating that she cracked like this, and that he had to see it.
“If you don’t want to be here, you don’t have to stay,” he said sadly, his heart breaking. “I want nothing more than for you to stay here forever, to be my wife, to have my children, but if you wouldn’t be happy living here, I wouldn’t ask that of you.”
“Your wife?” She looked up, rubbing her eyes, looking at him.
He nodded, “I was going to ask you on Valentine’s Day, do something romantic, but I might as well put that out there. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. But I feel almost silly asking you now, knowing you want to leave.”
“Children?”
“I was hoping for three or four kids, a simple home life, and a wife that I could love forever. We could get married in the spring, and you could move into my place.”
“But…what would I do? I don’t know where to find work.”
“You could work with me at the office until we have children. You’d be a great mother,” he said, wiping away her tears.
“A baby?” Her voice was soft, her blue eyes never leaving Ty’s face.
“What do you say? Would you consider becoming my wife, having my children, and making me a happy man? If you don’t think you’d be happy here, and need to leave, then I’ll have to make peace with that, but I sure wish you’d give us a chance. And I’m sorry about yesterday. I was wrong. I should have said something, it won’t happen again.”
Kristin squeezed her arms tighter around Ty, pressing her head to his solid chest. They were the exact words she needed to hear. There was hope here, hope for a happy life, hope for a future, and hope for a family. Her time spent here wasn’t in vain. She’d met the man she’d love forever, and they’d start a family together.