Chapter 4
Kristin felt a pang of guilt. She shouldn’t have a growing attraction to a man she barely knows; it was too soon. Hanging her head in shame, she let herself back inside. “Come on, girl.”
After cleaning up, she wrote a few pages of notes. Finishing up, she set it aside and made a list. She needed to pick up more groceries and supplies. She was running low on a few things. Ty unexpectedly crossed her mind again.
The guilt rushed through her. How could she even think about another man? That was disrespectful to Greg. Her heart was heavy, thinking back on their life plans, cut short by a freak accident. Resting her head in her hands, she got lost in thought, realizing that life goes on even when you don’t want it to.
Widowed, it was such a hard term. It would plague her for the rest of her life, knowing that she’d lost her new husband, the man that she hoped to grow old with. When she lost him, life ceased to exist in her eyes. She could barely function – and after tumbling headlong into depression, she knew she needed a change.
Wyoming promised her something different – peace and quiet, solitude, exactly what she expected. What she hadn’t expected was Ty Addison, the handsome veterinarian and handy man that offered to make her dinner.
“Want to go for a ride?” She turned to Molly, watching her head pop up.
Grabbing her list, she started out the door. It was hard to see Molly so unsteady on her feet, and carefully, she helped her up into the truck. Her normal ability to jump into it herself was temporarily halted.
With the windows down, she headed into town. Radio reception was horrible out here, so she clicked the radio off and listened to the sound of her tires on the gravel and dirt. Finally pulling onto the paved road, she was happy to leave the dusty trail behind her, no longer kicking up dirt as she drove.
Stopping to check for mail and pick up a grocery order, she made her way back home. Everything felt far away here. Back east, she’d been seven minutes from her local market.
Ty crossed her mind when she saw a truck similar to his. His hands showed years of hard work, small lines carved into them, as if they’d been aged prematurely. He was easily ten years older than her, but his hands were that of an older man. Maybe it was the time on the farm when he was younger or spending a lot of time outside, doing repairs at his own house, but they were hands that had put time in, and knew what they were doing. She was embarrassed to have studied them so much, and to even spend time thinking about them.
Kristin spent the next few days working on her writing. She had an idea for a book, but could only jot down snippets of thought.
Friday, as the evening rolled around, she hadn’t put any thought into what she should wear. She didn’t want to overdress, making him think she was interested, and yet didn’t want to look like she put no effort in. Settling on a pair of jeans, Kristin added leather boots and a soft blue shirt. Pulling her hair up in a high pony tail, she stood before the bathroom mirror. Should she put on make-up?
She stood debating with herself. If she made herself up, was it to impress him, to act like it’s a date, or was it because she wanted to wear make-up. The internal struggle played with her mind. She decided on a light touch, a slick of lip gloss and a dab of mascara.
When Ty showed up, he told her she could bring Molly with them if she wanted. She thanked him, but left her to sleep at home for now.
He’d picked up some charcoal steaks to grill up, and fresh corn. Wrapping the corn in foil, he placed it on the grill with the meat.
Ty’s house was simply decorated in masculine tones of brown, and understated. She immediately felt comfortable around him, which took her by surprise. Each time she was around the man, she found herself more drawn to him.
He shared funny stories of things that had happened to him when he first went into practice. The conversation was light and easy, and as Kristin relaxed she felt safe to finally share why she’d come out west.
“My life was about to change,” she paused, “I’d just gotten married. We had our future planned out, children, a house, and then the accident happened. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was in shock, so much pain, and then the depression set in.” She hadn’t talked about it in ages, not since it happened. “I couldn’t see living there anymore, and needed to escape. I thought a year of solitude would be healing. I took the money we’d saved to buy our house, and rented this place for the year, and have enough savings to get me supplies this year.”
“That’s quite a story. I’m sorry for your loss,” he said. Only something happened in that moment. He realized that what he thought was a possible first date, she thought was a friendly gathering, and she was here as a friend. She needed a friend, he saw that. He could be a friend. He put his attraction to her on hold, and offered friendship instead.
“I’m sorry, I’ve gone on about this,” she realized she was rambling.
“No need to apologize. It sounds like you chose the right place for some peace and quiet. Hopefully you find what you need while you’re here. I didn’t realize you were married. You’re not wearing a ring.”
“I finally took it off. I had to leave life behind. There was no way I could move forward when I was clinging to the past.”
“Running away is rarely an answer.”
She was taken back, almost hurt by the statement. “Do you know what it’s like to lose the one you love? Until you’ve gone through that, how can you even pretend to know how you’d react?”
“I guess I can’t know, but I can tell you that running away from your problems won’t make them go away.”
“Thank you, all knowing one,” Kristin’s sarcastic tone gave away her annoyance.
“I’m not saying it won’t work for you, I’m just saying, there are two ways to handle problems in life. Trying to get away from them or tackling them. I prefer to face my problems head on.”
“Good for you,” she said flatly. “And how do I tackle the fact that my loved one died?”
“Do you really think moving away will change anything?”
Her voice got quiet. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to come off harsh. I guess I’m a little rough around the edges at times,” he said, realizing how he sounded.
“Anyway, I’m settled here now.” She was ready for dinner to be ready, and ready for him to bring her home. Whatever little attraction she’d been feeling was passing. His true colors were coming out, and she knew she wouldn’t be accepting any more dinner invitations from him.
“Listen, I thought…” hesitating, he decided to follow up, “I thought it would be nice to spend a little time with you, get to know you better. But it sounds like more than anything, you’d like some quiet and time alone. You’ll find that in Chester Hills.” He wanted to say, I’ll leave you be, I won’t stare at you longer than I should. He wanted to say she had the prettiest blue eyes he’d ever seen, but all she wanted was a friend – and he wasn’t even good at that it seemed. He did more damage the more he spoke.
The phone rang, interrupting his thought. One of the neighbor’s dogs got into a fight, and came home scratched up and bleeding. “I need to run out for a bit,” he said. “Go ahead and eat without me. When I get back, I’ll run you home.”
She loved how he dropped what he was doing to help a wounded animal. It helped her forget about his more abrasive side. Tact wasn’t his strong point, but helping animals won him major points in her eyes. There was something about him that she liked, and yet something else rubbed her the wrong way.
When he returned home, she’d cleaned up, and wrapped up his dinner. He asked if she minded if he ate some supper before driving her home. They talked about the house call he was on and said that the dog would be okay. It had gotten into a scuffle with something bigger.
On finishing his meal, he stood, stretching. “Why don’t I bag up these scraps for Molly,” he offered.
“That’s sweet, I’m sure she’ll apprecia
te the treat.”
“Kristin, I’m sorry I’m not smoother, but I wanted to tell you I like you. And while I’m not coming onto you, if you get to a point where you’re comfortable thinking about me that way, or would like to go on a date sometime, I’d sure appreciate taking you out.”
She wasn’t expecting it, and was caught off guard. “Ty,” she started, unsure what she was going to say. “I’m flattered, really I am. It’s just; I’m not ready to date, not yet.”
“I understand,” and because he couldn’t stop himself, “You’ve got the prettiest blue eyes I’ve ever seen.”
Kristin blushed. “Thank you.” She felt her cheeks heating up, and didn’t know what else to say.
“We should be going,” he motioned toward the door, breaking the awkward feeling.
“Right,” she said, wondering why she wanted to stay longer. “Thank you for dinner.”
“My pleasure,” he said, wishing he could reach down and hold her hand. It looked so small and fragile. She was decidedly feminine, everything about Kristin said she was a woman, and Ty hadn’t been around anybody that had stirred him that way in ages. He had no idea how this girl from New Jersey had gotten under his skin, but he wanted to spend more time with her.
The drive home was quiet, neither knowing what to say. There was something hanging in the air between them. It wasn’t like some heated chemistry sizzling, but more like a slow burning ember that wanted to spark, but couldn’t find the way to get started.
Pulling up into Kristin’s driveway, Ty thanked her for her company. Hopping out of his truck, she said good-bye. It wasn’t until he pulled out of her driveway that she realized she was lonelier than she thought. At least Molly was waiting for her.
Taking the wrapped up scraps inside, she surprised her dog with the treat.
On driving home, Ty wondered if there was a chance that Kristin might grow to like him. He felt foolish, like a clod, rough around the edges. He wished he was smoother right now, but he was who he was, and he couldn’t pretend to be anybody different. He was certain she was used to smooth, city guys who knew the right thing to say, and could impress her with their fancy clothes and fancy cars. He was just a vet who wore jeans and lived in a log cabin. His truck was beat up, but still run, and there was nothing special about him.
Nobody had captured his attention since his last girlfriend, Charlotte, which had been years ago. When she ran off with someone who came through town, throwing money at her, and impressing her with tales of adventures, she went away with him, and broke Ty’s heart in the process. He was going to ask her to be his wife – what a foolish thing to do. He hadn’t trusted his heart to another woman since.