Can’t breathe. Can’t move. Can’t see.
Oh God, oh God, oh God.
It’s happening again.
Every muscle I own refuses to move as my entire body seizes with terror.
Kill me, please.
My eyes squeeze tight as a horrible numbing paralysis takes over.
Please, God, let me die. I can’t do this.
Let me die.
Let me die.
Let me die.
Cade
“Buddy!” Fuck! I pluck him off her, and he scuttles into the house with his tail between his legs. “Cassidy.” I pick her up and rock her in my arms right there on the porch. “Are you hurt? I can take you to the hospital right now so they can take a look at you.”
A dry whimper comes from her as she buries her face in my chest.
“It’s okay,” I whisper over and over like an idiot because it’s clear everything is not fucking okay. “Tell me where it hurts, babe. I want to fix this.” My voice falters as if I’m about to cry myself, and if she doesn’t feel better soon, I just might. I should never have taken Buddy off that stupid leash. I usually never leash him to begin with, so I figured it’d take ten times longer than necessary for him to take a piss with it on. All I wanted to do was get back inside and do exactly this with her.
My lips pepper her face with kisses until I finally meander to her lips and melt something more meaningful over them.
“Say something, Cassidy, because I have to know what to do next. Please tell me. Did you hurt your back? Your head?” I do a quick inspection for blood but don’t see any.
“No,” she whimpers a bit as she curls into my chest, tucking her thumb under her lower lip the way Piper does when she’s overwhelmed, and it makes me squeeze her that much tighter. “Sorry.” Her chest bucks with a dull laugh. “I guess you could say I’m just a touch afraid of dogs.”
“Cassidy”—I close my eyes a moment—“that wasn’t just some fear of dogs. The color bled from your face. You turned into stone. That was a full-blown phobia.” I press my lips tight, just trying to keep it together. “Let me get you some help. I’ll work through this with you. There are people you can talk to.” Hell, I’ll ship Buddy back to New York if I have to. As much as it kills me, I don’t want to put her through that ever again.
“No.” Her eyes shoot up at me, glossy and lined with crimson tracks. “I’m not some nutcase. I promise you that. I was just caught off guard. That’s all.” She gives a wary look over my shoulder. “Maybe you should feed him and anything else you need to do.” She clears her throat while watching Buddy whine in the corner.
“He knows he’s in trouble.” I jump up, and she pulls me back.
“Don’t. He’s not in trouble. All he did was lick my face.”
“I’ll just be a second.” I head inside, and Buddy beats me to his bedroom. I walk in and kneel next to him, rubbing his neck a moment. “Look at me.” He turns his head as if he’s afraid to do it. “Come on, Bud. You need to shape up. Knock it off with the jumping. I can’t have you pulling that crap. Got it?” My arm relaxes into him, and he coils into me as if gunning for a hug, so I give him one. As much as I couldn’t stand to lose Cassidy, I couldn’t bear to lose Buddy. It breaks my heart because I know the choice I would make. “Don’t worry, dude. We’re good for now. You just need to lay off the girl. She’s mine.”
I head out and seal the door shut behind me, only to find Cassidy already in bed with her clothes off, the moonlight kissing her in all the right places.
“Now here’s something I can get used to.” I fall in beside her, my hand landing over her warm, bare hip. “My God, you are beautiful.” My fingers run up and down her smooth skin.
“My God, you are a liar.” She laughs while swooping in for a kiss. “You got that leash I’m going to tie you up with?”
I hold it up in my hand without hesitation. If she’s offering, who the hell am I to refuse?
“That’s what I like about you, Cade James. You follow orders.”
“That I do.” I lean back and take a look at her gorgeous body. A dark red tattoo fills the area around her belly. “I’d love to see this. You mind if I turn on the lights?”
“Only if you promise to keep them on.” She gives a sly wink. “It’s going to be an overexposed kind of night for you.”
I flip the bedside lamp on faster than she can change her mind.
“Wow.” I shed a mile-wide, shit-eating grin at the sight of her like this. “I’ve got my very own pin-up girl right here in my bed.” My eyes take their time soaking in her bare shoulders. Those sweet tits I’ve been drinking down for weeks stare back at me, just begging for me to take a quick bite, so I do.
“Down, boy. My tat’s just south of where you’re salivating.”
I pull back and trace a line down her torso until I hit that beautiful swirling rose inked over her belly button.
“Damn. You are insanely beautiful.”
“It’s beautiful,” she tries to correct before rolling over. “Got one on my back, too.”
Cassidy peddles her feet through the air as she lies seductively on her stomach. Her curls fall over one eye, and her red lips pout up at me. She’s managed to cover her scar with her hair, and it’s only then I realize this is by design. Cassidy has spent a lifetime mastering that very skill, but nonetheless, I’m mesmerized. For a second, I forget who I am and what I’m doing.
“Let’s see it.” I scoot over and note the pretty script font running down her spine, but my gaze drifts for a moment to that pert little ass of hers. How the hell did I get so lucky again? “Fly away home.” I trace the words with my finger as I read along, and she bucks and gasps as if she found this wildly erotic. I’ve never met a woman who was easier to please, so eager to have me, tie me up for that matter. “It’s lovely. What does it mean?”
Her lips press white a moment. “It’s the last thing my daddy said to me before he took off.” She takes a ragged breath. “I know it’s silly. It’s depressing as all hell. I don’t know why I did it. I can’t even see the damn thing. I guess I just wanted a piece of that moment.”
“You wanted a piece of him.” I bow a kiss to the top of her head. “It’s not silly. It’s not depressing. It’s full of heart. Just like you.”
She blinks back tears before pulling us both to our knees and evicting the shirt off my body. “You always know just the right thing to say.” She leans in and takes a hard bite from my left nipple.
A hard groan comes from me. “Was that a punishment?” I tease, tousling her hair.
“Oh, honey, that was a reward.” She gives a dark laugh, pulling that leash up between us like a threat. “Clothes off, James. Now.” She snaps it tight, and the slap echoes throughout the room like a gunshot.
In less than five seconds, I’m in the buff, and she has me bound by the wrists and tied to the bedpost with my stomach to the mattress, making me feel a little more vulnerable than I thought.
“You sure you don’t want me facing the other way, sweetheart?” I struggle to look at her from over my shoulder. “Sorry that came out a little more curt than I anticipated, but only because my ass isn’t one to typically be the star of the show.”
“Oh, sweetie, these tight little hot buns of yours deserve a show all of their own. I’m about to give each one of them the attention they deserve.” Cassidy licks a line down my back, taking a bite out of my left cheek so hard that it causes me to wince with pleasure.
“Okay, that was nice. You can flip me over now.” My breathing picks up pace. My hard-on practically embeds itself into the mattress, and if she doesn’t flip me over soon, I just might make a mess of things on my end.
“Done? Hon, I haven’t even started.” She continues her grazing, moving from left to right, sucking, biting, chewing, until I’m about to release myself from the post and go rabid over her body.
“Turn me over.” I try to keep my voice even-keeled, but it comes out harsh, demanding.
“Gettin
g rough with me, huh?” Cassidy giggles up a storm, clearly enjoying the good time she seems to be having with my backside. Her tongue licks a line down me once again until she hits my balls from the other side.
“That’s it.” I unhook myself and spin around, and my cock springs up over her forehead.
“You slapping me with that thing?” She gives my dick a little smack as if to retaliate.
“No! Geez. Never. I swear it. I was just—”
That dark gurgle of hers comes back as she pushes me down to the mattress. “Relax, city boy. I’m just teasing. Did you like that sugar I was doling out?” Cassidy gets up on my hips, landing that wet, sweet spot of hers on my chest, and I push out a hard groan. “I think I’m ready for a little sugar of my own, if you know what I mean,” she bleats. Her hips inch upward until she’s seconds from my lips, and she spins that pretty little ass of hers over and kisses me with that wet slick I’ve been dying to taste all night long.
Cassidy wraps her mouth around my dick and slides up and down, finally gifting me that release I’ve been dying for as I bring her to the brink, sucking her down, driving my tongue over her until she’s writhing for a little relief herself.
Cassidy and I go wild, moaning, groaning, bucking with pleasure. I come first, hard and deep, and she spits to the side, giving my balls a quick graze of her teeth in the process, then I take her home. Cassidy lets out a heated cry as she sheds a sweet river right down into my throat.
She pulls away, slithering up my body and landing her panting chest over mine.
“I oughta tie you up more often.” She glides her fingernails over my chest in a circle, and my gut clenches. It feels so good. I pull my hands free from my bondage, turn off the lights, and hold her tight like that. We take a short nap, then make love all over again. That’s what it feels like. Somewhere along the way, we crossed the line and drifted into that place I vowed I’d never venture again. But with Cassidy, it feels different. Better. And while I’m buried deep inside her is when I realize I’ve never made love to another girl, certainly not Sammy. This, right here, is something far more intense than I’ve ever felt before, something far bigger and better than I could have imagined. This, right here, is love.
In the morning, Cassidy refuses to shower with me. Instead, she lands a few sweet kisses to my lips, taking off before the sun has a chance to fully fill the sky.
I give a slight wave from the porch as she takes off like a thief.
I’ve never had a girl stay the night before, and now a single night doesn’t seem like enough.
It’s not.
Come Monday, I count the hours until Cassidy Clayton is seated by my side for Basic Principles of Marketing. She didn’t come by last night, and both my dick and me missed her something awful. But this morning, Cassidy shows up right on time, wafting that sweet, flowery perfume in her wake, and I take in her scent and hold it like the secret we’ve become.
“You okay?” A sheepish grin gets caught up in my cheek, and I can’t seem to shake it. Professor Donovan walks in just as Cassidy beams her golden smile.
“Never been better.” Her country twang comes in strong and elicits a positive response in me right down to my bones. She leans in and whispers, “You able to sit on that tush of yours?”
“I’m right as rain.”
She frowns a moment with that teasing look in her eye. “I’ll try harder next time.”
Class begins, and Professor Donovan drones on, but I couldn’t care less. He could take a millennium to get his point across as long as it means me getting to sit next to this breath of fresh air with our fingers intertwined below our desks as if we were hiding out from the world. And in a way, we are. I think that’s something we need to end. I need to pull her into my world, make her a part of it, show her that I want her in it. As soon as class is over, we pack our things and head on out. I pick up her hand again, and she looks to me with surprise. Her mouth falls open as I thread my fingers through hers, and the crowd swirls around us. Something about this very public show of affection feels monumental. The kind of a moment you look back on and say that’s where we made it official. I try to skim my brain, trying to remember the exact date we first went out, and can’t seem to pinpoint it. Couples have anniversaries, and we’ll need a date because I very much plan on having every anniversary here on out with this girl by my side.
“What are you doing?” She giggles as I lead her down the hall. I have a free hour next, but I know that Cassidy has one more class in the English department. I’ve seen her walk that way enough times, heard her mention she needs to book it if she’s going to make it.
“I’m holding your hand. Would you prefer I take a bite out of somewhere a little more disclosed to make things interesting?”
“What? No!” She laughs, swatting me with her backpack. “People are going to see us. If your unicorn is in the vicinity, she’ll trot right off—and poof, just like that, all of your future beautiful babies will evaporate like smoke.” She tries to wriggle her fingers free, but I won’t let her.
I stop in the middle of the rush of bodies, in the middle of Union Hall, and take her in like this. Cassidy is a beautiful swirling rose picked fresh out of the Garden of Eden.
“I think I’m looking at my unicorn,” I say the words unmistakably clear so she can hear them, know that I meant them for her.
Her mouth falls open.
A familiar dark head of hair bobs in the distance, and I recognize that pout, that shuffling gait smeared with attitude.
“My sister’s down the hall.” I walk us forward a few feet. “You’ve got to meet Piper. She’s going to love you.”
“What!” Cassidy hits the brakes and pulls me in with one whiplash motion. “Your sister?” She stares out at the crowd with that same level of panic she had the other night with Buddy. Good God, I hope she doesn’t have a phobia of sisters as well, but knowing Piper, she could induce one if she doesn’t. “Sorry, hon. I’m sure she’s lovely, but my sweet little behind needs to get to class. You understand.” She yanks free from my hand and bolts like lightning down the hall and into the crowd.
“Shit.” I marvel at how strange that was.
“Boo!” Piper jolts her shoulder into mine. “Are you free, big brother?”
“Yeah, I’m free.” My gaze is still lost in Cassidy’s direction. There’s no way I wanted her to be late for class, but the intro would have only taken a second. “I was about to introduce you to someone, but it looks like she got away.”
“She?” Her eyes spring wide, blue as twin robin’s eggs. “Let’s get a cup of coffee, and you can tell me all about her.”
We head down to Hallowed Grounds, and I buy us both something tall, dark, and bitter while Piper prattles on and on about the good time she had this weekend with Owen.
“So, what did you do other than hang out?” I ask, trying my hardest to be happy for her—and I am, with the exception of knowing what Owen might be doing with her after dark. Still can’t wrap my head around that, don’t want to.
We head back outside with our dinks and fall into a couple of seats that just opened up at a table near the front.
“Saturday morning, we picked up his little sister, Ava, and went to see Aubree. She’s the one in prison.” That’s right. Owen’s sister is doing time for pushing some poor chick off a fucking cliff, then trying to cover it up by making it look like a suicide. I look skyward for a second, wondering if madness like that can be passed down in the gene pool. Piper and Owen are pretty serious. I know for a fact they’re thinking long-term. If they get hitched one day and have kids—
“Would you stop with the runaway brain?” She kicks me from under the table. Piper has always been pretty good at deciphering what I’m feeling. “Owen and I are perfect. There’s no dark, spooky, shadow waiting to pop up in our future.”
“Got it.”
Every ounce of sarcasm drips from her features—a difficult feat, considering she specializes in the art.
“Speak
ing of dark, spooky, shadows popping out to frighten people,” she whispers.
“Piper James, is that you?” a female voice calls from behind.
I cringe and close my eyes a moment before turning around. Sammy Spears isn’t a horrible person. I wish she were. It would be that much easier to ignore her. But she’s basically a good person who seems genuinely sorry for what’s happened to us. And that’s what makes this moment right here pretty much unavoidable.
“Hey, Sammy.” I nod up at her as she lands in the seat between Piper and me.
“Sammy Spears.” Piper’s sarcastic drawl is back stronger than ever. “If you’ve trekked all the way to North Carolina looking to bag my brother’s roommate, I’m happy to tell you you’ve wasted your time. He’s a fucking canine who isn’t interested in bitches like you. Go on and scuttle back to the airport. You need a ride? I’ve got a broomstick you can borrow.”
Sammy leans back and shrugs. That sweet smile of hers that I used to think was so cute reprises itself and disarms the situation.
“I get it. You’re still pissed. But I’ve apologized, and Cade has agreed to try to start over again—as friends.” She’s pleading with Piper to understand. Her hair is slicked back tight into a ponytail, giving her that severe look that makes her look a little less friendly than she really is. With Piper, you need every edge you can get. “I swear I’m content with that.” She shoots me a look through the side of her eye that contests this on some level. “I just saw the two of you sitting here and wanted to say hello. I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation.”
“The hell you didn’t.” Piper isn’t letting up. “In fact, why don’t you stick around? We were just getting to the good part. Cade here was about to tell me all about this hot new girl who’s warming his bed.” She cuts her gaze to me. “What was her name again?”
Crap. “No.” I sigh at my sister. “Look, this isn’t the time or the place.”