For the longest time, no one said a word. I think we were all too shocked to speak. I looked into the eyes of each of my friends, and I just couldn't see a killer, especially not one so callous.
"Is he seriously accusing one of us of spiking the rest, killing our friends and then covering it up?" Kyle spat.
"He's crazy," Aaron added. "He should be out there looking for the real killer, not making stupid, ridiculous accusations about us!" So he believed Blake was innocent now?
Megan shook her head; tears filled her eyes. "Someone planned this. How could you hate someone so much? Courtney was... she..." Megan trailed off, taking a deep breath. She wasn't able to finish her sentence, but I knew what she wanted to say.
There was someone out there who wanted Courtney and Josh dead so much they sat down and planned the whole thing. They even went as far as drugging us to make it possible.
I took a deep breath. "Okay," I said, trying to wrap my mind around the latest bomb Wright had dropped on us. "Do any of you know someone who Josh and Court had a problem with? Even if it was something stupid, you need to say it now."
This had just stepped up another level. I knew Wright would love to pin it on one of us, and his latest theory that we drugged ourselves after murdering our friends would make sense if he could magic enough make-believe evidence or motive. There was no way I was letting one of my friends go down for something they hadn't done.
No one replied. I began to grow frustrated with them. Was I the only one desperately trying to figure this out? They didn't seem to understand what would happen if we didn't find the real killer. I didn't trust Wright to put as much effort into finding the real killer as he was putting into trying to force a confession from us. Though he must be.
"Guys, come on! I need you all to help me. We can figure this out. We knew them better than anyone else. You know what's going to happen if we don't, right?"
"Yes, Mackenzie, I think we're all aware of Wright's fascination with us being the big bad killer, but what do you really think we can do? None of us have a fucking clue how to catch a murderer," Aaron said, raising his eyebrows. In the sun you could barely see the light blonde hair sitting above his eyes.
I frowned. "So we should just give up and accept it?"
"No." He sighed and his shoulders hunched over. "I just don't know what to do or where to start. This is all pretty fucking new to me."
Maybe we did need lawyers?
"We start by making a list of anyone that hated either of them."
Josh's personality meant his list was going to be long. He'd rubbed hundreds of people up the wrong way in the past. Of course, not all of them would kill over it, but I had a feeling Josh's enemies would be the answer here.
I shrugged. "I can't think of anyone who hated Courtney. Do any of you?"
"Are you getting Courtney out of the way quickly so we can focus on who hates my brother?" Blake asked, reading me like a book.
"No offence, but--"
He held his hand up, and I stopped talking. "I get it, Mackenzie. I would have done the same. So... anyone hate Courtney? I didn't, barely knew the girl."
I shook my head. Kyle, Megan and Aaron replied non-verbal.
"I feel like we should get a pad for Josh," Blake said, snorting in a humourless laugh.
"I'll start," Kyle said. "Well, we all know the four of us had a problem with him after Tills and Gigi died, but we also know it wasn't us four. Blake had issues with his little brother, right, Blake?"
"Right," he replied. "But I didn't kill him either." He looked beside Kyle to Aaron, "Contrary to popular belief."
"Tilly's dad," Aaron said, ignoring Blake completely.
"No, he was angry but not at anyone in particular," Megan replied.
Aaron glared at her. "He said he wanted to kill whoever was responsible. Come on, we should at least consider it."
He'd said that in the heat of the moment out of pure anger and grief, but could he have meant it? "Aaron's right," I said, arching my spine and sitting up. "Think about it, we were all there in the minivan. We all survived and Tilly didn't. The lorry driver died so he couldn't pay. Courtney was the one driving and Josh was the one who planned the trip and acted like an arsehole after."
Kyle scratched at his jaw roughly. "Her dad is the only one that hates them and us, probably. He lost his daughter. Come on, there's no greater motivation to kill than revenge for your child."
An ice cold shiver ran down my spine. The theory made a lot of sense.
Chapter Nine
"So why are you redecorating?" I asked Kyle as I stood in his sheet-covered room. His furniture had been moved into the centre, exposing the dark, midnight blue walls. Until ten minutes ago I had no idea he was even thinking about redecorating. He called a little while ago mumbling about needing a change and his dark room was depressing him.
"Just can't stand this shitty colour anymore."
He held up a large tin of a light but bright green paint. I smiled, well, sort of smiled. "Err..."
"You hate it?"
"I don't hate the colour. I think you will though. It's really bright for a whole room."
"I don't care. I need something bright. A complete change."
I picked up one of the many brushes he had lined along the chest of drawers. "It's certainly a change."
He grinned. "What would I do without you?"
"Paint it yourself?" I dipped the brush in the tin and slapped it on the wall. He was going to hate the colour, definitely.
"You been okay? Yesterday sucked."
Yesterday was actually one of the hardest days I had ever lived through. Not only was it a goodbye to Courtney, but it also brought back memories of Tilly and Gigi's funerals. I shrugged. "I'm alright."
"Hmm, lie."
I stopped and turned to him. "It's not a complete lie. Right now I'm doing okay."
"You're focused on the man hunt. When the killer's found you'll fall apart." I kept quiet. Kyle knew me so well. "I'm worried about that, you know. I'm worried you'll be the way you were after Tilly and Gigi died."
Biting my lip, I thought about what he said. I was a mess when they died. I didn't eat for almost a week and barely got out of bed. It was so hard to accept that I would never see them again. It still was. I knew Kyle was worried back then; he came around every day, brought my favourite foods and DVDs to comfort me.
"I'll be okay. I have you, Megan and Aaron." And Blake, sort of. The list was getting smaller and smaller. I was terrified of losing another one of them.
"You'll always have us." He held his arms out, and I practically collapsed into them. Gripping hold of his waist, I held on for dear life. It was just us four now and we had to stick together. "I'm so sorry, Mackenzie." His body shook as if he was crying, but he made no sound. Kyle was always so strong for us; he needed to be able to let it out sometimes, too.
"Shh, it's not your fault. We're gonna be okay," I mumbled into his shoulder, praying that I was right.
'We're going to be okay' was one of the most overused phrases but also one of the truest. No matter what had happened, how deeply something hurt you, the world continued to spin and you continued to breathe. Things might suck for a while, sometimes a long while, but eventually you would be able to function again.
He pulled away and took a deep breath. "Anyway, we should get this painted. I think it'll take two coats."
I nodded and picked up the brush again. "Kyle, do you honestly believe Blake killed them?"
His arm moved up and down as he painted the bright green onto his wall. It took him a long time to reply, "No one got in, so yes. We don't know him, and I'd much rather believe it was a stranger than someone I've known over half my life. I get that you want it to be someone else, but I don't think it can be."
It had to be.
"Did it ever cross your mind that it could be me?" I asked, holding my breath. If he said yes it'd crush me.
Kyle laughed. "You're kidding, right? Mackenzie, you make me take spiders
outside because you won't have them killed! No, I never thought it's you." I blew out a big breath of relief. His eyebrows arched. "You think it could be me?"
"No," I replied. "I don't think it's any of you."
"You have a thing for Blake," he said. It was a statement and not a question. A thing. I cared about him as a human being. I refused to believe he could kill his brother so that meant I had a thing for him? We'd had sex and he made me feel things that were all new and all frightening. But I didn't feel like I could tell Kyle that.
"I don't. Kyle, I barely know the guy."
He shrugged. "Maybe. You defend him blindly though."
"It's not blindly."
"Yes it is. You said yourself you don't know him. You're defending a guy that for all you know could be a rapist or serial killer. I'd call that blind."
"Whatever," I replied. There was no point in trying to change his mind, and I couldn't be bothered to waste my breath. "Have you spoken to Aaron or Megan today? I tried Megan earlier, but it went straight through to voice mail."
"Aaron's at hers. Her grandparents came home from Italy to support her, probably why she didn't answer."
I nodded and made a mental note to go and see her in the morning. If Aaron was already there she wouldn't need me too, and I didn't want to intrude if her family was over.
"So do you really think it could possibly be Lawrence?" I asked as we worked side by side. If we were to take his death threat seriously after he lost Tilly then shouldn't we take Aaron's seriously, too?
He lifted his shoulder and let it drop. "Maybe. I think he could have done it. If someone handed him a gun and told him he could shoot us without getting in trouble, I think he would have. He wants someone to blame for Tilly's death, and you can't blame the poor bastard."
"I know but to kill someone over an accident. I can't get my head around it."
"I don't understand it, but people justify things to themselves all the time. I can buy this because it's thirty per cent off or just one more drink will be okay because I've eaten a big dinner."
"I'll kill this person because they deserve it?"
He shrugged with the same shoulder again. "I guess."
"That's stupid!"
"Kenz, I'm not saying it's not or that it's right, but it happens. Our other option is Blake, but I know what you're like so let's not argue over him."
It took us four and a half hours to paint Kyle's room twice. My arm ached, and I felt like collapsing. "Shit. It's really green," Kyle said, looking at the bright walls with wide eyes.
"Yep," I replied. "I'm not painting it again for at least three months so you'll have to live with it for that long."
He grinned. "Deal. Hopefully it won't look so much like I'm living in a Disney forest when the furniture is back."
"Doubt it, but let's see."
We uncovered his furniture and pushed it all back into place. The walls looked no less green but at least with his chunky wooden bed, chest of draws, wide-screen TV, and triple wardrobe, you saw significantly less of it.
"I hate to say I told you so..."
He smirked and nudged my shoulder with his own. "No, you don't. I wanted a change, and I got one. I can deal for a while."
"Maybe we can paint three of the walls white or something? That'll tone it down."
"Yeah, maybe."
"Okay, let's get the last things put away and then you're making me some food." He still had football trophies, posters and a few shoeboxes of stuff left in the middle of the room.
I bent down to pick up one of the shoe boxes, and the side fell open, spilling the contents onto the floor. "Damn it," I muttered and knelt on the carpet to pick up the photographs that had scattered.
"Smooth," Kyle said, kneeling to help.
One caught my eye, and my heart stopped. "Kyle, what's this?" I asked, holding up that photograph.
His mouth dropped open and closed quickly. He shrugged. "Just a picture from years ago."
I looked back at Courtney kissing Kyle and frowned. Court's hair was a fiercer red, brighter than the one she usually used, a colour that she had to get because her hair was fading and they didn't have her usual. I was the one who had dyed it for her, for the last time it seemed, just before Easter, three months ago. This was recent. "Kyle, this must have been taken in April. Courtney's hair," I said, explaining how I knew. "What the hell was going on between you two?"
We stared at each other, silently challenging the other. Kyle sighed and closed his eyes again, and I knew exactly what he was about to say. He kept his eyes shut as he very quietly confessed, "We were together."
"Together? You two were together? When? How? I don't get it..."
"Behind Josh's back. In secret. Having an affair. Get it now?"
My shoulders slumped. All the air left my lungs in one big rush. How much did I not know about my best friends? "Shit, what the hell were you thinking? Why didn't she tell me? Why didn't you tell me?"
"Really, Mackenzie?" he muttered dryly.
"We've known each other since we were seven, and I would have preferred to see her with you than Josh."
"Yeah, well, so would I. She wouldn't leave him. She said so many times that she would and finally, eight months later, she cut me off and chose him."
My eyes bulged. "Eight months?" This wasn't just a brief fling; it was a full on affair! It was going on through most of her relationship with Josh. I shook my head. "I don't even know what to think."
He shrugged and snatched the photo back. "Don't think anything. She led me on and screwed me over. I would have done anything for her. I loved her so much, but she chose him. I hate her for what she did to me."
I blinked in shock. Kyle was so hostile. "Don't say you hate her," I whispered. Courtney was wrong for leading him on, and I was angry with her for hurting him, but she was dead now.
He stood up and gestured to the mess on his floor. "I've got things to do."
Sighing, I got up too. That was my cue to leave, and honestly, I needed some time away from him to get my head around it. "I'm sorry you got hurt."
Kyle stared on, his eyes dark and empty. Finally, he replied, "Doesn't matter now, does it."
I turned and left his room, eager to be as far away from him as I could. My happy, mischievous, caring friend had been replaced by a bitter, spiteful stranger.
I walked to my car in a daze. Just how much did Kyle hate Courtney? Courtney and Josh? Yesterday I would have never thought he could be capable of murder but that person in his room was completely different. Was the furious person that I had just met - Kyle's darker side - capable of stabbing two people that were once his friends? An affair. Kyle didn't do that. He was loyal and had morals! Well, I thought he did.
At home in my bedroom, I paced the floor, trying to get everything straight in my head. Kyle and Courtney. Together behind Josh's back. Did Josh know? He couldn't have known. If he did, there was no way he would have kept it to himself.
Aaron and Megan were at hers with her family, so I didn't want to disturb them; I wasn't even sure if I should tell anyone. I had to talk about it though. What did it mean that they had an affair? Kyle was so angry about it. Courtney was dead and he was still mad at her.
My hands trembled as I sat down on the sofa to try and make sense of it all. It seemed like one thing after another. I had barely got my head around their deaths, being a suspect and then being drugged. This on top of all that was too much.
I looked up at the ceiling and blinked rapidly, trying not to cry. I needed to hold it in. If I started I would fall apart. Courtney needed me. Megan, Kyle, Aaron and Blake needed me.
A car pulled up outside my house, and I looked out of the window. Kyle's red Astra parked on the drive. I didn't see him get out, but I heard his door slam shut and then he rang the doorbell. Why was he here after practically kicking me out of his house? Had he come to apologise and explain? I needed an explanation, and I needed him to take back what he said about hating Courtney.
I took the
stairs slowly, giving myself a little extra time to think. My heart drilled as I approached the door. I was nervous and it was pathetic. Kyle had never made me feel nervous before. I trusted him, but after the things he said about Courtney he scared me.
Gulping, I opened the door and let him walk inside. Neither of us said hi like we usually did, and he could barely look me in the eye. I played with the end of my sleeves, biting my lip and waiting. Kyle used to be someone I could rely on.
"Are your parents in?" he finally asked, looking just above my eyes.
"No," I replied cautiously. I didn't want to consider him to be the murderer, but I was.
"Good. Can we talk?" He nodded to the sofa, asking permission to sit. He had never asked before, usually, he just plopped himself down wherever he felt like it.
I nodded. "Okay." I felt like I should add 'but my parents will be home soon.' I didn't want to go there though. It felt like it would be condemning him before I knew anything. He still looked like the same old Kyle that I grew up with and loved. His eyes still sparkled with mischief, and I could picture him laughing as he shouted Run after knocking on our neighbours door in the dead of night.
"Mackenzie, I'm so sorry," he said as he dropped down onto the sofa.
I sat down and faced him, needing to watch his reactions and expressions. "What part are you sorry for?" For telling me you hate Courtney or for hating her?
"All of it. I was angry. Thinking about it always pisses me off. I really loved her, Kenz. It kills me to think about her choosing him all over again."
"I understand that. Do you really hate her though?"
He sighed. "Yes. But I love her, too."
I shook my head. "I can't believe she didn't tell me. I thought she told me everything." We had a fairly open friendship. We talked about everything, including our most embarrassing crushes. I told her about the time I threw up in my first boyfriend's mouth! Well, almost, he moved just in time but it was all over his cheek.
"She wanted to," Kyle said, frowning, "but we agreed that it would be best to keep it between us. At the beginning we didn't really know what was happening. We didn't plan any of it. After a while it became too hard to tell anyone."
"Does anyone else know?"
Kyle shook his head. "No."