I know Quinn probably means the question as one of those toss-away ones old friends ask when they haven't seen each other in over ten years, but if she only knew how deep it slices me. I take a deep breath and school my features. It's in the past: no sense in bringing the details up to two girls whom I haven't seen in too long--two girls who were my closest friends years ago.
"John Lewis," I tell her, pretty damn proud of myself for keeping my voice even.
"God, Leigh, you remember John?" Quinn laughs. "You probably would've dated him too, had you not been all in love with Maverick back then. Hell, half the girls in school were in love with John, Mr. Quarterback himself."
"He did have quite the following, didn't he?" Leigh agrees, looking at me like she can read between the lines.
"So, who are the lucky men?" I ask, pointing to their bellies and changing the subject.
"You'll never guess who that one finally landed," Quinn jokes, pointing toward Leigh.
"No!" I squeak with excitement, catching on immediately. "Maverick?"
Leighton's whole face lights up at the mention of Quinn's older brother. Last I heard, he was on the rodeo circuit, making a big name for himself in the sport. "Finally wrangled me a cowboy." She giggles.
"I'm so happy for you," I tell her honestly.
"It wasn't an easy road, but I love my grump."
"You always did, honey," Quinn says with a smile.
"And what about you, Quinn?"
"You remember Tate Montgomery?"
"The boy who used to spend his summers at his grandparents'? Sure I do. You two were practically joined at the hip. What did you do, get married right after the dust settled around me leavin' town?" I laugh, but my smile slips when she doesn't join in.
"Nah, took us a while and a lot of distance to realize where we belong, but we finally did. We got married last year. Shortly after I found out about this little one." She points to her stomach with a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.
I sense a story that isn't full of hearts and flowers and, knowing it's time to steer the conversation away from that, I nod.
"Well, what brings you two into my bookstore?"
They both laugh. "Why am I not shocked that you'd end up owning a bookstore. We never could get you to put down those Fabio books you loved so much back in high school."
I giggle with Quinn. "Hey, he was a stud."
"We're lookin' for those baby books for daddies. You know, the ones that tell them what to expect when a tiny little demandin' human comes from their wife and life as they know it is changed forever. Tate, love him to death, seems to think he's fine because he's a lady doctor, but no amount of pullin' babies from other women's vaginas can prepare a man for the birth of his own child. Don't even get me started on my brother. Man can ride the meanest of bulls without breakin' a sweat, but you talk about his baby comin' soon and he starts gettin' pale as a ghost."
"She isn't wrong. My husband is hidin' it well, but I can tell he's nervous."
We continue to laugh as I show them where to look, catching up with small talk as they thumb through the selection, pulling a few out to purchase.
"Hey, you should come to the baby shower in a few weeks. We're doin' the whole joint thing, since the whole town is basically shuttin' down. You'd think the president was comin' to town the way they're all carryin' on."
"I'd love to," I tell them, surprising myself with just how much I want to be there.
They give me the info and we exchange numbers, promising to catch up soon. Seeing Quinn and Leighton only drives home just how much I've missed having them in my life. My fears haven't just kept me from moving on romantically--they've also kept me from people who I know, with no doubts, would do nothing but enrich my life. Now that we've been brought back together, I can't imagine my life without them in it again.
"You should stop by the PieHole, too," Leighton says. "You remember my mama's pies?"
"Boy, do I ever. Best thing I've ever put in my mouth!"
"That's what she said!" Lucy calls out from somewhere in the back of the store.
We all dissolve into laughter, and by the time Quinn and Leigh leave, I have a date to stop by the PieHole after I close up tonight. The memory of Leigh's mama's pies is so strong I swear I can taste them.
Four hours later, having finally closed The Sequel up, Lucy and I head over to Pine Oak, the excitement of seeing my old friends again bubbling in my belly like butterflies the whole way.
Lucy and I make small talk during the thirty-minute drive, but the second we hit Main Street and pass my mama's salon, I stop talking. The windows are dark, so I know she isn't there, but the thought of running into her at Leighton's bakery makes me feel like I'm going to puke.
"Thinkin' about your mama?" Lucy asks knowingly.
"That obvious?"
"I understand your history, honey, but don't you think your mama would be happy to see you and forget about that stuff that kept y'all apart?"
I shake my head. "I think those kinda hurts are unmendable. I was a kid when I left, Luce, but she was a grown adult who turned her back on me when I came back beggin' for her help. Sometimes the hurt inflicted by others is just too great to move on from."
She hums in agreement and we pull into the parking spot directly next to Leigh's place. Lucy turns off her car and turns to look at me. "I hear you, Caroline, I do, but you're still holdin' on to that hurt, so maybe a little closure would be a good thing. Just think about it. Now that you have a reason to come into Pine Oak more, it's not like you can avoid her forever."
"Probably not, but that's a bridge I'll cross when it's time."
She gives me a look of understanding before nodding. "I'm here no matter what. Luke and me. Family isn't just those you're connected to by blood, you know."
"I do, sister from another mister," I joke.
For it being six at night, things are still pretty crowded inside Leigh's place. An older woman behind the counter calls out a greeting when we step in, causing every head to turn in our direction. My cheeks heat and my shoulders pull in under the crowd's scrutiny. Lucy just plasters on her pageant smile and walks confidently in front of me. What I wouldn't give to have just an ounce of her conviction. I've been disgustingly shy my whole life, something that will never change if it hasn't yet. I look down at the ground while following Lucy's booted feet farther into the room. She's used to me being like this, so even if she wasn't a ball of happiness, she would've taken the lead.
"Hey you!" Quinn calls, and I look up to see her waving us toward a big table in the back. The man next to her with his arm around her chair looks just like the Tate I remember. On her other side sits the unmistakable Maverick Davis. He isn't smiling like Quinn's husband, but he doesn't look like the grumpy teenager I remember either. And finally, my eyes land on Leigh, curled into his side, her hand on top of his resting against her belly.
"Hey y'all. I'm Lucy Hazel!"
"Any relation to Luke Hazel?" Maverick rumbles, looking away from his wife's belly and at my best friend.
"Only the best twin brother a girl could ever have."
"Good man," he responds, looking back down to resume his study, his big palm moving around Leigh's belly a little.
"The best," Lucy agrees. She looks over at Tate. "Hi! You're the lady doctor. Taking new patients? Hate my gyno." She thrusts her hand out. Only she would think that asking a man when she first meets him if he can take a look at her vagina is acceptable.
"Uh, yeah. Call the office?" he responds, a little unsure, but he takes her hand anyway.
"Will do!"
"You're a happy one!" Quinn giggles.
"Life's too short to be anything but."
"Pull up a seat. Jana can get y'all whatever you want."
Taking a deep breath, I smell a certain sugary confection that makes me smile, memories of a whole other kind of high making my cheeks heat. "Got any apple pie?"
"Does she have apple pie? It's only always here since Clay can't get e
nough of the gross stuff," Quinn hoots. "Just missed my big brother, too. He got a call about a problem with one of his pregnant horses, so he had to head back to the ranch."
"All he does is work," Leigh adds.
"He's running the ranch now," Quinn tells me, and I know exactly how much weight that comment holds. Something even half the size of the Davis ranch would be hard work.
"That's got to be something. Does his wife help?"
Quinn looks at Lucy like she has two heads. Her question wasn't one that merits that kind of reaction, so I look over to make sure my best friend isn't picking her nose or something, but she's just smiling like normal.
"Clay's allergic to relationships. I don't think he's been in one in at least four years, maybe longer. He got a little serious once with a total bitch, but thankfully that didn't last. Since then, nothin'."
"Relationships aren't for everyone," I mumble, thinking about my own issues with them, though I can't imagine someone like Clay would still be single. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen when I was coming around with Quinn and Leigh.
I look up and meet Maverick's eyes across the table. He's studying me with such an intensity, I blush and look down. He's always been intense, but when he focuses on you like that, you would swear he can read your every thought.
The rest of the night continues, and before I know it the room around us has cleared out and Jana Fox, the gray-haired woman I saw when I entered, who I've learned is the PieHole's manager, has long since said her good-byes. I ate two slices of the best apple pie I've ever had in my life, and enjoyed one of the best evenings I've had in years.
God, I missed being home. More than I realized. Now, being near these people again, I can feel that pull stronger than ever.
5
CAROLINE
"Speak to a Girl" by Tim McGraw & Faith Hill
"You stupid fuckin' bitch!"
I flinch, knowing what's coming before John grabs my biceps in a rough and painful grip.
He pulls me forward, my head snapping back. He's getting worse. The thought filters through my mind and I know, I know next time might be the time that he doesn't stop at just hitting me a little. It's been escalating over the years, but the past few he hasn't stopped at just the verbal abuse, manhandling me more and more roughly each time I do something that pissed him off until that doesn't even seem like enough for him. Even if it's just moving through our house, I never know what's going to set him off.
"I'm sorry, John!" I cry, holding my hands up in front of my face in case this is that time he doesn't stop.
"Fuckin' disgusting," he spits, giving me a shake before pushing me from him. I stumble but don't fall. "I asked for a Bud and you bring me this cheap off-brand shit. Go to the store and get my fuckin' Bud or you'll find out what it's like to be sorry."
I grab my keys and run to the car, my hands shaking the whole way. In the five years we've been in Austin, he's gotten worse and worse. Actually, the first couple years weren't bad. But when we turned twenty-one and he was able to get beer more often, things changed. The clerk at the twenty-four-hour mart doesn't even look at me while he rings up my purchase, handing me my change with a mumbled good night.
I spend the drive home thinking about just leaving. I could go. He's likely drunk off the very beer he turned his nose up at by now. There's nothing in the house I want. I long ago started carrying bigger purses so that all my important papers were always with me. My hands tighten on the wheel, the cross street that takes me back to our shack of a house just ahead. My foot pushes down on the accelerator at the same time that I decide to leave.
Then everything goes black and all I can smell is smoke.
I jolt up in bed; the memory of the crash so real I can still smell the smoke. It takes me a moment, but as soon as the fear from that dream clears from my mind, I realize my mistake. It wasn't the dream that had me smelling smoke. My whole loft apartment is filling with it. I jump from the bed, grab my phone, and call 911, rattling off my address before I even realize why it's filling the room so quickly.
My stomach drops.
"No!" I scream.
I grab my bag, rushing to the back stairway, and press my hand against the wood to check for heat, making sure the exit--the only one--is safe. I turn the handle, the smoke even thicker in the stairwell, but I run down as fast as I can without tumbling to my death. When I reach the bottom, and see the front of my bookstore in flames, I trip, falling hard to my knees. It takes me a few unsteady tries, but I get out the back door and run around the building to watch as the flames grow. I drop my purse and clutch my phone as I pray that the fire department is quick, watching the flames lick and dance closer to destroying everything I hold dear.
I don't realize I'm screaming and crying until I feel two strong arms pulling me from the ground.
"Shh, Carrie," Luke says with sympathy, and I turn to bury my face in his chest.
"How did you know?" I wail.
"Volunteering night," he answers, rubbing my back. I pull away long enough to see him wearing his fire gear, and it only makes me sob harder. "The boys will put the fire out, darlin'. It hasn't spread to the top yet, so let's think positive, 'kay?"
I shake my head against him and continue to cry, my mind lost somewhere in the nightmare that woke me up and the one that was waiting for me.
"Holy shit! Caroline!" I lift my head off Luke's shoulder just in time for his sister to collide with us. He silently shifts his hold so that he has both of us as Lucy wraps her arms around us. The two of them create a Hazel family circle around me as I burst into another fit of tears. I have no idea how long we carry on--Luce and me--but he holds us strong the whole time, watching as his fellow volunteer firemen battle the fire inside my bookstore. By the time the all-clear is given, Lucy has moved to sit next to us on the curb across the street and Luke has shifted my body so I'm sitting across his lap, Lucy's hands grasping mine. I finally stopped crying shortly after the paramedics checked me over, but I can't help the deep depression that had settled into my bones watching my life go up in flames.
"It's gonna be okay, Carrie," Luke says again when I hiccup.
"It will be, Caroline. It will," Lucy agrees, tightening her grip on my hands.
"It's all gone." I continue to look at the charred remains of the front half of my store and feel my chin wobble.
"It's not, sweetheart," Luke tells me, trying to get my attention off the store with his hand on my chin, but I pull away from his grasp and continue staring. "We'll get you settled. Insurance will handle the damage, and the fire only got to your kitchen and bathroom. I'll get in there tomorrow and get out everything I can, and you can stay with me and Luce until they finish rebuilding."
I don't speak. I can't. The Sequel was so much more than just a store. It represented everything I had overcome. And now it's gone--even if just temporarily.
I don't remember Luke driving me back to his and Lucy's house across town, but by the time he pushed a pill into my mouth and poured a drink of water down my throat I'd already started crying again. I didn't even question him, trusting him without doubt. By the time I felt my lids getting heavier, Lucy was lying on one side of me and Luke on the other, all three of us stuffed in her double bed. I wasn't the only one who'd been scared tonight. I might've lost a part of The Sequel, but I can only imagine what my best friends thought when they didn't know whether I was hurt or not. I curl into Lucy's side and feel Luke's arms tighten around me.
You would never know that we hadn't known each other our whole lives, being as close as we are. I met Lucy when I was nineteen in school in Austin, and we instantly bonded over the fact that we'd grown up in neighboring towns. We shared a dorm for a month before John moved me into an apartment with him, but Lucy and I remained close. She decided to move back home with me after I opened up The Sequel in Wire Creek. She wasn't wrong the other night on the way to the PieHole when she told me some people share a bond as close as family without being related.
&
nbsp; This, right here, is my family, and even though I'm heartbroken about the store, I still have them.
The rest will figure itself out.
I hope.
I finally stopped crying shortly before I fell asleep, but not once did my best friends let go of me all night.
6
CAROLINE
"Rich" by Maren Morris
Eight days later, the insurance adjuster had finally made it out to what was left of The Sequel. Luke wasn't saying much about what he'd heard about the investigation from his friends at the fire department, but I knew it was looking like someone had set fire to my store intentionally. I couldn't think of anyone who'd hold a grudge against me enough to try to kill me, something they'd clearly been hoping would be the outcome. Needless to say, Luke was being more protective than normal, and that was saying a lot. I honestly didn't mind one bit though.
It had taken five washes and a ton of fabric softener to get the scent of smoke out of my clothes, but at least it had finally come out. All of the furniture would have to be replaced, something the insurance adjuster would hopefully deal with. Everything inside of the store was ruined. If the fire didn't get it, the water did. All in all, it could've been so much worse. I was alive. I just had to pull myself from the ashes again.
"You hangin' in there?"
I look up at Luke, falling into his side when he offers his arm. "Yeah. Just sad to see it like this. Who would do this, Luke?"
"Don't know, sweetheart. Could be some dumb kid for all we know. They'll get it sorted, just have to trust the boys leadin' the investigation. You're safe and that's all that matters."
"It could've been worse," I agree, saying my earlier thoughts out loud for the first time, still looking on as the insurance man pokes around the bottom level of my building.
Luke shivers and I look up at him. "You're still breathin', so yeah, it coulda been a whole helluva lot worse."
"It's gonna take a while to rebuild, Luke. I don't want to keep imposing on you and Lucy."
"It's not imposin', Carrie, and you know it. Family isn't a burden. You'll stay until things are back up and runnin' here and not a minute earlier."
I nod but plan on finding a way to get out of their house before that. I know he doesn't see things my way, but all I've been is dependent on someone else my whole life until opening up The Sequel. I don't want to fall back on that just because I'm now homeless. I already talked to Sheila at the motel in Law Bone and she's worked out a deal to help me with a long-term-rent-type situation at the motel. I would've preferred to stay in Wire Creek, but we don't have a motel, so that was out. Pine Oak was definitely not an option. So, Law Bone it is. I'll find a way to break it to the Hazel duo in a few days.