She was aware of him following her. The way he growled her name, jerked her to him and bit into her shoulder again. To hold her in place, she thought hazily. That bite held her body in place where he wanted her, in perfect alignment with his, his seed spurting inside her, filling her so deep, with such hard, burning spurts that she knew she would never be the same.
She collapsed against his chest when his teeth finally released her. His tongue licked over the wound, each caress sending a racing shiver through her as she shuddered in his arms, his cock still locked inside her.
“I need to hold you,” he whispered, his lips caressing her neck. “Just like this, Anya. Just in my arms.”
Her head rested on his shoulder, turned away from him as she fought back her tears. Just like this, just in his arms, and separate everywhere else.
It was like being torn in two. Always on the outside staring into what had been or what could have been and knowing he wanted nothing more than this.
Del-Rey watched an hour later as Anya moved from the private bathroom attached to the office—dressed, she was beautiful but her expression was somber.
That was what was missing, he thought, her smile.
“I’ll see you tonight?” she asked, fiddling nervously with the hem of her sweater as she pulled it over the low-rise waist of her jeans.
“Tonight,” he promised.
“Maybe we could shower together?” There was something lost in her voice, something that cut him to the bone.
“Are you okay?” He moved from the desk to cup her cheek in the palm of his hand. “Do you hate me, Anya?”
Her lips trembled. “I love you, Del-Rey,” she whispered, staring up at him with those sad blue eyes. “I’ll always love you.”
He dropped his hand as she moved quickly away from him then and escaped as he stood in shock and surprise. He had known she loved him; he could feel it in every touch. He had known it since she was sixteen, had burned for it when she was twenty. But he hadn’t expected her to admit to it.
Following her to the door, he opened it and watched her leave. From the shadows across the wide cavern that led into Communications, he glimpsed someone else.
Ashley.
She stood, eyes narrowed on him, a knife sheathed on her thigh, the olive gray uniform he had rarely seen her in giving her a harder, merciless look as she turned her head and stared back at him with a cold, level gaze before moving to follow her coya.
He didn’t like seeing Ashley in drab olive green. The next time he saw her, he’d have to ask about that. He much preferred the flirty Ashley in color and tripping around with her pretense of ditzy fun.
This Ashley, he sighed heavily, like Anya, reminded him of everything he could feel he was losing.
CHAPTER 22
Anya had hoped to delay a confrontation for herself or between the now opposing factions of Coyote soldiers. She felt as though she and Del-Rey were in the middle of a very silent war. Hers against his. She could feel everyone’s determination, like her own, to leave the alpha out of it. It wasn’t his fight. It was hers.
A fight to keep the Russian Coyote Breeds within the alliance that had formed and to hold on to the tenuous peace she could feel unraveling around her. A peace she had worked eight months to ensure. The battle between his and hers. The Coyote soldiers that had followed Del-Rey for so many years and the ones she had fought tirelessly to gain freedom for.
As long as she had been coya, peace had reigned. Now those of the Russian pack saw an insult in the reversion of rights and her lowering of status. She saw Del-Rey’s reasons, almost understood them, but to make them work there was no way that the packs could know the reasons.
That left them at a stalemate she feared wouldn’t last much longer.
It was evening by the time she made it into the kitchen. There had been an attempt made to load the dishwasher. It was haphazard at best.
The kitchen was the biggest problem in the whole facility. None of them wanted to clean up their own messes. Soldiers were always in a rush, teams rushing in to eat, then back out. Some came in weary and tired, fixed what they could, then went to sleep, exhausted. She couldn’t fault them, but she couldn’t keep up with them either.
At least someone had tried.
She was straightening the dishwasher when Jax stepped into the kitchen. Tall, light blond, with darker streaks and dark blue eyes. He was as handsome as the others. Breeds were created to be perfect in every way.
He wasn’t cruel with it, or even mean. But like the other soldiers, he pushed and he tested his boundaries. He hadn’t tested her as coya, but it seemed he was determined to test her now.
“You didn’t make biscuits,” he noted as he moved to the fridge and set out a plate of thickly sliced sandwich meat. “Morning teams missed them.”
“I was busy this morning,” she sighed, straightening the dishes in the machine.
“Yeah, Del-Rey’s a horndog when he gets started,” he snickered. “I remember a coupla years back, he wore three women to exhaustion and was looking for a fourth before the night was out. Damn, he was fun then.”
Anya stiffened. “TMI, Jax.”
He snorted at that. “Come on, Anya, you know what he’s like yourself. You checked out his rep before you came to that bar when you first met him. You were a cute little thing,” he commented. “I wouldn’t have waited so long if I’d been Del-Rey. I would have done you that night.”
Anya straightened slowly and turned to face him. He was standing behind her now, his expression controlled, his gaze cool.
“Don’t do this, Jax,” she said softly.
“Why? Because Cavalier likes to warn those of us that followed Del-Rey what a little angel you are? What happened, Anya? How did you betray the alpha enough to force him to revert your authority?”
She shook her head. “Ask your alpha. But let this go tonight, Jax.”
“You betrayed us somehow, Anya,” he growled. “No Breed turns his mate away for any other reason. He stripped you of status. Why?”
She tried to edge away from him. She hadn’t expected this, and surely Del-Rey hadn’t either. That the Breeds who followed him would suspect she had done something to harm them.
She could feel the fear clogging her throat now. Jax wouldn’t hesitate to take her throat out. Suspicion was as good as proof to the Coyote Breeds. And Del-Rey had provided them with plenty of suspicion.
She was nearly at the corner of the counter, almost far enough away to escape him, when he grabbed her wrist and jerked her back.
Agony streaked through her at his touch. She barely held back her scream as he jerked her back into place, and released her just as quickly. Her hip slammed into the counter as she drew in a hard, pain-filled breath.
“You aren’t screaming in agony, Anya,” he pointed out. “Are you even his mate? What? Did you play the alpha’s guilt and somehow convince him he was your mate?”
There was no meanness; there was determination. Jax was convinced she was a threat, and in his eyes, he was doing what needed to be done.
“Please, Jax,” she whispered. “Ask your alpha. Don’t do this.”
“You think because he still likes fucking you that you can convince him to cover for you?” Jax snorted. “Answer the damned question, bitch. What did you do?”
She shook her head, then waited until he moved and tried to run.
A dirty kitchen was a dangerous kitchen. There was a fine film of flour or maybe sugar on the floor. Her foot slid as he caught her by the hair, throwing them both off balance. She found herself thrown again, this time against the wall. Her head struck the stone, her wrist bent against it painfully as she cried out and tried to keep herself from falling.
She managed to find her feet, jerking around only to stop, eyes wide at the sight of Cavalier and Ashley. Cavalier’s knife was against Jax’s jugular, Ashley stood at his back, a long, wickedly sharp knife in each hand as she faced off against three of Jax’s teammates who had run into the kitchen as
well.
“No. Cavalier. Stop.” She stumbled across the room, nearly falling as she realized she had managed to somehow bruise her leg. There was blood on her jeans, a slice across the material.
Cavalier snarled in Jax’s face as the knife bit into the other Breed’s neck.
“Coya, return to your rooms.” Cavalier’s voice was an echo of death.
Anya inhaled roughly as the other Breeds turned to her, their expressions hard, suspicious, accusing. She wasn’t coya, yet the Russian Coyotes refused to accept the alpha’s directive. Refused the loyalty they swore to him.
“Back up, Brazon,” Ashley snarled as one of the pack leaders tried to edge closer. “I’m hell with this blade, you should remember that.”
Brazon stopped, his amber eyes measuring his chances before he turned to Anya.
“Cavalier,” Anya whispered hoarsely. “You once swore you owed me for your life.”
Cavalier growled furiously. “Don’t.”
“You owe me his life.” Her breathing hitched painfully. “Swear to me you’ll let him go. I’ll leave the room, but you swear to me you won’t harm him.” His pride was fierce. If she made him back down while she was there, he would suffer for it. His pride, his sense of honor, would suffer.
“He struck against his coya,” Cavalier snarled.
“I’m not his coya.” The first tear fell. “Please, Cavalier. Swear it.”
She couldn’t stand it. She couldn’t hold up, and there was no way she could let Del-Rey see her tonight. Not like this. He would kill Jax. She couldn’t fight any longer. She was tired, she was lost, and on the inside she felt broken.
“Don’t ask this of me,” Cavalier bit out. “No matter your title, he had no right.”
“They think I betrayed them,” she told him. “He’ll learn better. Swear it, Cavalier, or I’ll leave this base and I’ll never return. And I’ll leave alone.”
Without friends or security. Without the men and women who’d sworn their lives to her. A mate undefended. Cavalier would never risk that.
“I won’t hurt him.” His voice was primal, enraged. “This time.” There was a warning there she prayed Jax would heed.
She turned to the others. “Go to your alpha for explanations. This fight ends now.”
They stared back at her silently.
“Brazon.” The pack leader had once been her friend. “Please.”
His nod was slow in coming. “This time, Anya. This time only.”
She would have to leave. She had no choice. If she didn’t, blood would be shed and the Coyote alliance and Del-Rey’s dreams would be gone forever.
Grief churned in her stomach, sickening her as she limped from the kitchen and hurried through the community room. She was aware of Sofia watching quietly, another lash to her pride. By the time she reached the tunnels, she was sobbing with the pain. It was tearing through her, breaking her down until she didn’t know if she could survive the agony flaying her.
Cavalier waited until she was gone. His knife still at Jax’s throat, he stared into the other man’s eyes. “You’re his brother,” he said softly, speaking of Del-Rey. “I smell the bond between you and the kinship. He doesn’t claim you, whelp. Does that make you a traitor?”
It took only seconds for Jax’s eyes to widen in horror. Long enough for Cavalier to pull back and slide into a defensive position. Long enough for Ashley to move. She moved the wrong way.
A snarl of fury, a howl of anguish left her lips, as she turned, jumped the counter until she balanced behind Jax, jerked his head back, and sent the knife swinging on a hard, downward arc.
When she was finished, blood coated Jax’s neck and half his ear was missing, as Ashley jumped from the counter and ran from the kitchen. Cavalier covered her, staring back at the silent Breeds as he lifted his hand and activated a private channel on his link.
“Yes.” Brim answered on the first beep.
“First blood has been shed,” Cavalier warned him. “I believe a medic might be needed.”
Anya stumbled through the caverns and tunnels, feeling her way for a while as sobs tore through her and tears washed over her face. One hand wrapped around her stomach as the pain seemed to lash at her there as well. She felt the cold as she neared her destination. A cold that seeped into every pore, and yet was warmer than the ice building in her soul.
She collapsed at the mouth of the small cave that overlooked Haven. Covered with snow, it looked peaceful below. A warm glow seemed to extend around the enclosed valley, wrap over it, and tease her with the promise of something she would never have.
She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her head against them as she cried. Everything was lost. She couldn’t fight any longer. She couldn’t make herself endure this, the pain was too agonizing. If she wasn’t here, then Del-Rey would quickly get a handle on the divisiveness beginning to tear the base apart. Without her as a distraction, something to secure, he would see the mess in the making and draw his men together again.
And she would be alone. So alone.
She wished she could howl with the pain ripping through her. With the thought of sleeping alone, always cold, always searching for what wasn’t there.
This was her fault and she knew it. If she hadn’t allowed herself to lose control when Del-Rey had kidnapped her, then this wouldn’t have happened. This division wouldn’t have occurred if she had never been given the status of coya while Del-Rey was gone.
She should have seen then the illusion it was. No Breed left his mate, everyone knew that. The tribunal would know that. His enemies would know that. He would have never allowed her to stay at Haven while he was on base, he would have never left her care to others. He had depended on that and the perception that he had not accepted her as his mate to protect her.
Her own arrogance in believing she had a place here had been her downfall, her ultimate humiliation and the loss of the man who held her soul.
She sobbed at that loss, cried out for it until she felt as though her spirit were breaking from it.
“Its okay, Coya.” Ashley’s voice had her head lifting in shame, in shock. That these women should see her so broken, so weak, sent a ragged shaft of agony through her soul.
“You need to be warm.” Sharone spread a blanket over her, her own face wet with tears.
Emma hunkered beside her, crying as well as she laid her head at the stone wall beside Anya’s.
“Anya.” Precious Ashley. Her face was pale, her lips quivering, tears streaking her face as she knelt in front of Anya, then curled into a small ball on her side, her head in Anya’s lap. “I don’t like this,” she sobbed at Anya’s knee. “I don’t like this. They separated us. They took you from us,” she cried. “I don’t like this, Anya.”
Anya sobbed with her.
“Don’t let them take you from us,” Emma whispered tearfully. “Please, Coya. You’ve always been our coya. You’ve always been our leader. Don’t let them take us anymore.”
Her fierce, ditzy little Ashley. Anya buried her hand in the girl’s hair as she laid her head against Emma’s, then reached up and drew Sharone to them.
Untamed, so filled with pride, and yet tears streamed down Sharone’s face as she laid her head against Anya’s shoulder. And not for the first time, they cried together, and they grieved. Because freedom was supposed to mean they would never lose one another. That never again could an order separate them. And yet that was exactly what had torn them apart. The order of the man Anya loved.
It was almost over. Tomorrow, it would finish. If she could manage to hold on, just a while longer, then it would be over. She would be the traitor and the Coyotes that had once followed her would once again follow Del-Rey.
And Anya would finally, irrevocably, be alone.
Del-Rey stepped into the infirmary slowly. Rage was burning a hole in his mind as he listened to the reports on the comm link. Anya hadn’t been found, and neither had her bodyguards. She had gone into the caverns and simply disappeared. r />
Sitting on a gurney was his brother, the youngest, the one Del-Rey had despaired of saving when the boy was no more than a babe. And now, Del-Rey wanted to kill him.
Jax sat on the gurney, wincing as Regan stitched a part of his ear back where it belonged. Cavalier was there, under guard, willingly.
There were six Coyote soldiers covering him, but behind them were six others, the Russian Coyotes, and they looked furious.
He stared at Jax as the other man stared at the floor, refusing to lift his head.
“Ashley cut his ear off,” Brim reported. “Cavalier nicked the skin over his jugular.”
Cavalier was leaning against the wall, eyes narrowed, arms crossed over his powerful chest.
This was the man who never stepped out of line. He followed every order, fought like hell, and Del-Rey knew, he would fight to the death. He had never so much as struck at any of the men who had sworn loyalty to Del-Rey.
“That pup,” Cavalier spoke first, nodding to Jax. “The next chance I get, I’m slitting his throat. When I do, I’m going to watch him bleed like the gutless rat he is, Delgado.”
Delgado. Not alpha, not Del-Rey. The subtle insult was acceptable, but grating.
“Where is my mate?” That was all that concerned him. He’d find Anya, then figure this out.
Cavalier laughed at that. A harsh, grating sound that had a growl coming from his throat.
“Ask that little whelp brother of yours what he did to your mate.” Cavalier sneered at the title. “What he called her. Your whore I believe it was.”
Jax flinched as Del-Rey turned on him. He gripped his brother’s hair, jerking his head back and staring into his blue eyes. Eyes like the woman that birthed them. A deep, dark blue that swam with misery.
“What did you do?”
Jax was often impulsive, but he was never cruel. And he was intelligent, too smart to do anything to harm Del-Rey’s mate. God save him, Del-Rey prayed. He would hate to kill his own brother.
“I didn’t understand,” Jax said, making no apologies, knowledge of his own death filling his eyes. “I thought she had betrayed us. That you had rejected her because she was a traitor.”
Del-Rey felt every bone, every muscle clench in his body. “What did you do?”
“He touched her,” Cavalier snarled. “He caused her to slip when he gripped her arm to jerk her into place. When she ran out of here, there was a knife wound at her thigh. I think I heard her wrist snap and I know I heard her head hit the wall. That motherfucker hurt our coya, you son of a bitch, and if you’re going to kill anyone, put the gun to your head first.”
Bleak, desperate fury lashed at Del-Rey. He heard the snarl that left his throat as he threw his brother from him to keep from killing him.
Cavalier laughed. “You can’t even protect her against your own men. You make her stay and play your whore for what?”
He jumped for the other man. Jax didn’t have a prayer of surviving his rage. Cavalier might.
He heard Brim curse. Suddenly there were bodies blocking him, enraged growls and curses as his men were pushing him back, Cavalier’s men holding him back.
Snarls filled the room, primal, enraged.
“Enough dammit!” Brim shouted above the din. “Damn you two.” He turned on Del-Rey. “What the hell did you expect, you stupid bastard? You insult her in front of twenty Coyote Breeds that she all but gave her life for and expect them to take it lying down when your stupid fucking brother abuses her.”
Del-Rey spun, fists flying, feet lashing; within seconds he had taken down the Breeds trying to hold him back, just as Cavalier did.
They faced each other now.
“My coya is a target,” he told the other man, realizing in a flash of insight what he had done. “What I did may have been foolhardy, but it was to protect my mate. My coya.”
Cavalier paused.
“I would give my life for her.”
Del-Rey stared into the other man’s eyes. He wouldn’t fight him unless he had to. He would never fight the man that would stand and face death to protect the coya, Del-Rey’s mate.
“We swore loyalty to you, because of her,” Cavalier informed him, and it was no more than what Del-Rey had already known. “She was our coya before you mated her.”
Del-Rey nodded. “I know that, Cavalier. Now she’s hurt. I have to find her. Help me find her.”
Cavalier sneered at that. “If you hadn’t taken her bodyguards, you wouldn’t have to search for her.”
Del-Rey’s eyes narrowed, fear flashing through him. “Her bodyguards were not reassigned.”
Surprised looks turned on him. Two pack leaders’ eyes widened.
“Alpha, the rescending of status took her bodyguards. They’ve been reassigned since the memo went out.”
Del-Rey turned on him. Icy, murderous fury filled him.
“Find her,” he growled. “If I don’t have the location of my coya within the next twenty seconds, the lot of you can pack your asses out of this base and get fucked. You stupid bastards,” he yelled back at them. “Did I tell you to do this? Did I tell you to endanger my fucking mate?”
“No, Alpha,” Brim answered for them, the sneer in his voice unmistakable now. “You rescinded her status. By refusing to accept her official vows, you rejected her.” Flipping on his own link, he began barking out orders as Del-Rey’s jaw clenched in fury.
Hell, he’d managed to fuck this one up royally. He stared at every man in the room now.