“How long has he been like that? I mean, if you had to guess. He dies, he regenerates or something—how long has he been doing it? How long has he been that way?”
Cash shook his head. “Hard to know. The bloodwork doesn’t give me that information nor does the degeneration in the spinal fluid, muscles, or bones. My best guess? He changed when they all started to. About thirty years ago. I know what you’re thinking; I’ve given it a lot of thought myself: maybe there is no coming back. Maybe this is how they are now, a changed creature, and I should leave them be.”
He’d pretty much read my mind. “Cash, I’m not placing judgment.”
“I know you’re not, Boo. But I do. I think it all the time. Lewis can obsess about it. Here’s the problem. It’s spreading. Say someone gets bitten from an outer planet, from a less affluent corporation than ours. If they come to a town square somewhere populated, then there’s a problem. If the people get the shot protocol Lewis invented, which requires someone to administer a series of intense shots within eight minutes of being bitten, the people bit can be saved. Otherwise, that’s it. Done. I have to believe I can bring the Infected back. I have to. It can’t be over that fast.”
I kissed his arm. “Hey, Champ. You keep saving the world, don’t you? How many things did you cure before you were twenty?”
He snorted. “A whole bunch of things.”
“You’re amazing. I want you to know I see how much you care about all of them. They’re your patients. You want to make them better.”
He leaned his head on top of mine. “I want babies, too. Sterling told me it was something you wanted. He has a plan. His plans tend to work. He needed to know if any of us were going to put a wrench in it.”
I put my hands on his hips. “An hour ago he was still practically passed out in my bed. What did he do? Jump up and run here?”
“He started his rounds here. Maybe he thought I was the one who’d say no. I’ll probably be a lousy dad. I had a terrible one. Can you help me with that?”
I gave in to the urge to crawl up his body. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I circled my legs around his waist. His eyes got huge before he swung me around and pressed me against the wall. He kissed me, hard, and I closed my eyes, drowning in Cash.
“What did I do to earn this kiss?” He smoothed the hair off my forehead. “Not that I am complaining.”
“Sometimes I don’t have the words for what I want to say. I spent a lot of my life in a fog, existing in a state I didn’t realize was unhappiness. No one was cruel to me or anything. I didn’t fit in. I get you, I think. And for that, I just want to kiss you all the time.”
He cupped my chin. “I think you have the words. Some of the best I’ve ever heard.”
The Infected banged on the glass. Two of them joined XXY, and they were all making a racket now. Cash shook his head. “This is so not romantic. Tomorrow night. You and me. Okay? I want to talk about … everything. Every single thing you ever think and want. And I want to be with you so badly; I’m burning from the desire.”
I left his lab and went back to delivering the supplies out to where they needed to be. Sterling found me half-way through the job and helped me get the rest of it out. I’d have to carefully go through the stuff and figure out where Judge stored things room-to-room.
When we were done with putting things away, I stopped to stare at Sterling. His handsome face stared out in the distance through one of the few windows in the enclosure. I wondered what he thought about when he stared in the distance.
I put my hands on my hips. “Did you run to Cash when you left my room to ask about the babies?”
He turned toward me and winked his left eye. “Things go easier when Cash thinks he’s been consulted first. He’s my brother. I get him. No control in his whole life. You and I made plans last night. I wanted him to want it, too. It didn’t even take convincing. Turns out he loves kids. Learn something new every day, right? I haven’t spoken to the others.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist. “More strategy, huh?”
“It’s how I’m built. How they designed me. Are you mad? Was it something you wanted to stay between us? I didn’t discuss what we did together or anything that I thought was truly private.”
I kissed him. “I’m not mad. I hardly ever get mad. I forgive really easily, too. I’ve never understood the point of anger. To steal your line, it’s not how I’m built. I don’t want you to change. Be who you are.”
He nodded, kissing the top of my head. “Wish I could keep you with me all day. But you’re actually understanding Judge’s organizational plan and I completely do not. This would take a week if Judge were doing it because he hates it. I think I need to let you get back to work.”
“Okay.” For a person who’d had so little affection over the years, I’d really taken to it. “We’re all programmed right? Nature versus nurture. The roles our genes play in who and what we are. Maybe you just got the really good ones. Did you ever think about that? Maybe you’re the best parts of humanity. I look at you, and all I can see is … your beautiful heart.”
He blinked away tears. “I don’t cry.” He cleared his throat. “Ever. You make it worth it. You’re my reward for all the hellish years and the lonely nights. It’s like the universe said, ‘Okay Sterling, now it’ll be okay. Here is this perfect person for you. Take care of her.’”
Sterling kissed me once, hard on the mouth, and then took off to work. I went back to work. By the end of the day, the job was done. Everything had been stored where it should go. At least I’d found something I could be good at doing for all of them.
Chapter Eighteen
Feeling the Heat
When I came in, Judge rolled over and sat up in bed. His eyes were clear, and he was awake. I grinned at him. “How are you feeling?”
“My leg feels much better. I walked to the bathroom on it and barely a twinge. Amazing what that machine can do with Lewis’ direction. How did I end up here?” He rubbed his nose. “Not that I’m complaining. If I had my way, I’d be in your bed with my head on your pillow every morning. I just don’t remember.”
I lay down next to him. My muscles were stiff from all the shoving and carrying I’d done. I needed to get back to my workout routine if I wanted to stay strong enough to be of use. “You were really out of it, which was normal, and I asked Lewis if you could be here instead of the lab since you hate it there so much. He agreed. My guess would be that he got Sterling and they carried you here. You missed a supply delivery from the drone. Damian explained to the robot that you were hurt, so it should be fine. I spent today putting away all the new stuff and categorizing it for you. Nothing much different. They sent more pots and pans, which I thought was funny. Otherwise, more of what it looks like you get every time.”
He frowned. “You did all of it? Today?”
“Sterling helped me deliver some of it, but yes, it was mostly me. I heard you hated doing it. It seemed to make the most sense to keep me busy today. I’ll fill in where I can.”
Judge wasn’t moving as fast as he usually did. He managed to slide over to me. “Thank you.”
His kiss was gentle. I melted into him. It had been two days since we’d gotten to speak, and it was too long as far as I was concerned. He pulled me tighter up against him, and yet his hands remained easygoing when he rubbed my back. We kissed without stopping, and eventually the simple affection changed. I felt the second he realized he was getting hard. His body jolted against my own, and I clung to him, not letting him pull back.
He stopped kissing me only long enough for him to open his wide eyes and stare at me for a second. Then his mouth was on mine again, harder, faster; he moaned against me. I wanted him inside of me, which meant we had to slow down.
“Judge,” I whispered against his cheek. “Do you want to be inside of me?”
His eyebrows rose. “Is that actually a question?”
“Just because you can doesn’t mean you want to.” I really couldn’t be p
ressuring him to complete something he might not be ready for.
He nodded, fast. “There’s no question, Di. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you.”
“Then let’s take a breath. If we rush into this, it’ll be over before either of us is satisfied.”
Judge kissed the edge of my nose. “Okay.”
I tugged at his shirt and then my own until we were both naked from the top up. He reached out to stroke my breasts. I closed my eyes and let him. He explored me, softly. Each caress sent shivers down my spine. I was so happy to be this way with Judge. He made me feel connected to him each time we looked at each other.
After a while, I opened my lids to place kisses on his hard chest. I could hear his heart beating fast. He’d slowed down for me, but it must have been an effort.
Reaching down, I cupped his cock through his pants, and it jumped at my embrace.
“Di,” he whispered. “I’m not sure …”
“It’s okay.” There would be plenty of time for long, drawn out lovemaking. Like everything else he did, Judge would become an expert at pleasing me, and I hoped I could do the same for him. I pushed down his pants and quickly followed with my own.
When we were both naked, I ran my hand over his length once to feel his thickness. He was big, completely erect, and throbbing in my fingers. I kissed his mouth gently, easing him onto his back. I didn’t want him to do anything, just to enjoy our being together. His lids were half closed and his nostrils flared when I finally climbed on top of him and pressed him inside of me.
He cried out, his neck arching and his hands digging into my sides. “So beautiful.” His voice was still not more than a whisper.
I moved slowly up his erection. It wasn’t like I had all that much experience with this either. Judge inside of me felt so … right, like we’d always been meant to feel this way.
Up and down I slid. Surprisingly, we were both able to hold off completion a lot longer than I expected. His eyes followed my movements like he was lost in me.
“Good?” I asked him.
He bit down on his lower lip. “I never knew. I didn’t understand it could be like this between two people. I think it might just be you. You’re the only woman in the universe who could make me feel like this.”
Judge was so sweet. I kissed him on the mouth, and his hips rose to meet mine. He moaned against me. Maybe he’d gotten out of his own head. His body wanted completion, and so did mine. He came hard and all of a sudden. The jerk of his erection against my clit set me off, and I followed him quickly down the rabbit hole of pleasure.
His stomach rumbling sometime later woke me up. Judge had my fingers in his hand, and he drew circles on my palm. I opened one eye and then finally the other.
“Hungry?”
He grinned, kissing my hand. “Like I’ve never had food before. It’s almost dinner. I was going to wake you in a minute. I … I just liked lying here with you, admiring how gorgeous you are, and feeling this way.”
I rolled over and kissed his chest. “Then let’s go get some food. You must need it. You didn’t eat for two days in the machine, even though it keeps your nutrients up and your hydration okay. Then I went and ravished you.”
Judge tickled me, and I laughed before I scooted out of the bed so he couldn’t do it again. “Feel free to ravish me anytime.”
Dinner was a vegetarian meal. Spaghetti, squash, cheese, and a red sauce that tasted like garlic and onions. Damian had also made a salad. He winked at me when he set down the plate. I hadn’t seen him when I’d dropped off and put away his agricultural supplies. Even though I thought I’d figured out where he hung out during the day, he still had the ability to surprise me. Where had he been all day?
Judge cleared his throat. “Hey, Damian. I woke up thinking about that cave Lewis and Di got lost in.”
“Oh yeah?” Damian sat back in his chair. “What about it?”
“I need to know why it’s on a time differential, and I’d bet dessert you are bothered by it, too.”
Was he? Damian hadn’t uttered a word to indicate any interest in the cave at all. “I have been thinking about it a lot. Want to take a trip?”
“I figure it’s a good time for you and me to go. Cash and Lewis are up next for date nights. If we take a long time and miss a day, we’re not missing our time with her. Sterling can hold down security here. The drone just came and went. You won’t be missed by Evander. Let’s go. See if I can figure it out.”
Lewis drummed his fingers on the table. “I’d kind of love it if you did that. I want to go back there, and I want to know why I came out to nighttime when we’d been gone an hour. Seems a strange time differential. Usually you lose or gain years. Not minutes or hours.”
The talk about the time differential made my stomach hurt. Was my family okay? Had they been killed? Were they coming? Were they not? Was I going to see them in a month, but they’d all be eighty? Or would they show up looking the same when I was at the end of my life? Would they come, and I’d already be dead?
Judge leaned over and kissed my temple. “What put that look on your face?”
“Time differential equals worry about her family,” Cash supplied. “Use your heads. Diana should be forty-something years old. She’s not. Time differential. Her family is either on the other side of the black hole or on their way here. It’s hard on her.”
I played with my spaghetti. “Don’t forget dead. They might be dead. Sandler could have killed them all. I’ll never know. Even if I pointed Artemis at the hole—presuming she was space-worthy enough to do that—I could arrive a hundred years from now. Turning around, I’d never get back to you guys. Anyway, you can talk about time differentials. It just threw me. I’m good now. Please continue.”
Only they didn’t. Cash immediately launched into a story about his frustration with XXY. The Infected had started running from him, and he needed Judge’s robot to help tomorrow. They talked about the logistics of that while Lewis caught my eye contact. He smiled sadly at me, and I gave him my best impression of a smile in return. Was it okay to be so happy and also not, at the same time? True emotions were so new to me.
Judge tried to wake up three times that night, and three times I soothed him back down. I thought it might have to do with the movie we’d all watched together. A boy lost his parents and only had his dog on the spaceship to guide him to the planet where his grandparents lived. I imagined that struck pretty close to home for Judge. Maybe next week we’d play cards more. The movies did strange things to my five, and the wrong one could really set me off, too.
I ran my hands through his hair and watched him sleep. He settled back down with a smile and proceeded to roll over onto his stomach.
I kissed his shoulder, hoping it would be the last time for the night. It was.
The next morning we got up together. He smiled at me, a sleepy expression on his face. “I sleep great with you. Are you going to tell me sometime how you make that happen?”
“No.” I kissed him lightly. If I did, he’d make me stop doing it. I liked knowing that when he was in my bed, he didn’t suffer through the nightmares that plagued him otherwise.
Dressed in my too-big clothes, I got to work helping Judge out on the projects he never had time for. He left with Damian shortly after we exited Artemis. His list, which he’d reluctantly given me, included things like replacing circuits and checking on the workings of all the vehicles they never used. Evander had given them the means to get around. So far, I’d only seen the trucks used to get me and to go to the cave.
Where else would they take vehicles?
I was glad to have busy work to do, despite Judge’s preference I sit around. What did the women in this part of the universe do all day?
I checked all the trucks. They had full batteries, and they turned on just fine. It was then I noticed how completely dirty the bay where they stored the trucks had become. Had anyone ever cleaned it? I got to the job. I liked making things shine, adored the way a p
lace would become after I got finished with it.
Before I knew it, Cash tapped me on the shoulder, catching me totally by surprise. I gasped and then cracked up at the way he jumped backwards.
“It’s dinnertime. I looked for you everywhere. Have you been in here all day?”
I wiped my forehead, which was covered in sweat. “Do you not spend all day in the lab sometimes?”
“Good point.” He looked around. “Did you scrub this whole bay area?”
“Sure did.” I squeezed the remaining water from my mop into the bucket and poured the whole thing into the dirty water depository, which would get it recycled and cleaned in the system. “Should I make dinner?”
“No.” He laughed. “I did that. It’s almost done cooking in the oven.”
“Guess they’re not back. I hope they’re not gone weeks. Do I have time for a shower?”
He nodded. “Absolutely. Lewis and Sterling are both finishing up some work. Sterling doesn’t like the way some of the security beacons are offline. More than usual. He’s working on it. And Lewis is trying to get XXY to let him inject him again. So far it’s not happening. I had enough. I cooked dinner.”
I took his hand. “I’m a sweaty mess, Cash. Want to have a shower with me?”
His eyes widened. “Yes.”
By the time we made it to Artemis’ shower, we were undressed. I had clothes strewn all over the ship from the entrance to the hallway and the doorway of my room. Cash pressed against me in the shower, the hot water beating down on us. He raised my hands over my head, holding them steady against the wall. I breathed against him. Cash would take care of everything. I loved knowing with him I’d simply have to be.
He palmed by breast, tweaking my nipple between his fingers. I cried out in pleasure. “I told you I want to know your body, Boo. All of it. So you’re going to tell me. With your moans and your cries and the way that you squirm. I’m a quick study. Don’t hold back. If you like something, and you even think it’s odd, you still tell me.”