“From where you had it hidden. Why was it hidden?”
“It’s nothing. Put it away,” she said and hurried out of the room
“Mom!” I followed her. “Tell me what this is.”
“It’s nothing. What are you doing digging in my stuff for?”
“Am I adopted?”
Claire’s eyes widened. “Have you been talking to Eva?”
“Yes,” I lied, hoping she’d talk. “She told me some things.”
“What did she tell you?”
“Everything. She told me not to tell you.”
“Oh my God,” Claire said and walked back into her room. “Honey, I was going to tell you, but I just… I didn’t know how. I was so scared you’d hate me for keeping it from you. I feel terrible that you had to find out this way.”
“Tell me what happened.” I folded my arms and sat on the bed waiting for an explanation.
“Okay. Where to start?” She put her hand on her forehead and paced around the room.
“I was seventeen,” she said. “I had broken up with your father—with Hector—a week earlier. My parents and I went on a fishing trip that afternoon to a lake. I was debating on whether or not to go back to him. I had caught him talking to one of his friends about wanting to date this girl at school that everyone knew was a sure thing, in boys’ terms.
“I walked away from the fishing area and decided to go on a short walk by myself around the forest. It was a desolate, long trail—wild green plants growing everywhere. Just beautiful.
“I sang to myself and picked a few flowers. I thought I was alone. Then, I saw him sitting under a mesquite tree.
“Oh God… he was so handsome, Isis.” She sighed. “Anyway, we started to talk. He asked my name, but being that I was mesmerized, I didn’t bother to ask for his. He was about twenty years old and a devastatingly beautiful creature. When he spoke, I heard every syllable that came out of his mouth. When he looked at me, he stole my breath.
“Then he kissed me, and I was a lost cause in his arms. I’ve never felt that way about anyone since then.
“About three weeks later I started feeling sick. I thought I was coming down with the flu, but the symptoms persisted for days. My mother started to worry and took me to the doctor. They drew blood for some lab work.” She stopped.
“And then?” I said.
“I was pregnant.” She paused, looking at the floor. “Pregnant with you—with that boy’s child, whose name or identity I didn’t know. I was a virgin. I had never been with Hector, but my parents automatically assumed you were his.” Claire took an uneven breath and wiped a tear from her eye.
“Hector was so upset when I told him. He said he’d kill him if he ever found him. I told him my parents thought the baby was his. He said he still loved me, and that he’d take full responsibility, and we were married two months later.
”Eva was the only person who knew the truth. She accepted you and me.”
Tears streaming down my face, I held up the letter and asked, “So, what is this?”
“I received that letter with a check of a sizeable amount after Hector passed away. I used it to pay off the mortgage and some bills that I knew I couldn’t handle on my own. I used the rest for my school; and what little was left over I put in the bank for a rainy day.
“There was no return address… only the check and those words typewritten on the paper. I tried to find out the origin of the postmark but came up blank. I thought it was him that sent it, and that’s why I kept it.”
Claire wiped her tears from her face. “Do you hate me?”
I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t believe my biological father’s identity was a mystery even to my mother. The way she described him was exactly as I felt about David. There was no doubt about it. My father was a deity.
“I don’t hate you, Mom.” I hugged her. “In an ironic way, I understand you.”
“I have to call Eva to tell her.” Claire reached for the phone.
“Mom, no.” I set the phone down. “I didn’t talk to Grands at all. I lied.”
“But why did you ask me if you were adopted?” Claire asked.
“Because I found it odd that I don’t look at all like you or dad,” I lied, yet again. “Then I found this letter, and I thought you might have kept it for some important reason.”
“You tricked me? I can’t believe you, Isis!”
“You were going to tell me someday… weren’t you? I should be the angry one here.”
“I know, but you lied to me to make me tell you something very crucial about both our lives. How do you think I feel?”
“Deceived, like I do.”
Claire lowered her face into her hands and wept. “I’m sorry.”
I stood up and put the box back in the closet.
“I’ll be in my room,” I said and closed the door behind me.
March 22, 1:33 P.M.
My state of mind is blurred by constant uncertainty. I don’t know who or what I am or what I’ll become.
The only certainty in my life right now is that I’m not my father’s daughter, and yet, I am.
The one that gave me life is an unknown—a ghost in my mother’s past. I’m the byproduct of two distinct breeds. I shouldn’t exist.
***
I called David and asked him to come over. He said he would drop by my house within an hour.
Claire knocked on my door just before I said goodbye to him.
“I’ll see you when you get here. I have to go,” I said softly.
“See you soon, love.”
“Come in, Mom,” I said. There was no sense in being upset with her when she was the only mother I would ever have.
“I have this for you.” Claire handed me an envelope addressed to “Miss Isis Martin”. There was no return address.
“I opened it,” she admitted. “I wasn’t being nosey. I was being protective of my daughter.”
I slid out the letter it held. It was typewritten, like the one addressed to her.
***
Dearest Isis,
I know it’s in great distaste to try to communicate with you through this means after so many years. I’m truly repentant of my absence from your life. I’ve thought of contacting you many times but felt I was in no position to make myself known to you, as your mother chose a good man to take my place.
Although I’m reluctant to reveal my identity to you at the present, I’d like you to know that you never escaped my thoughts.
Leaving your mother under those circumstances has eaten at my core always. I’m sorry if this letter has caused you any pain. I only want to make you aware that you have a father.
Without further ado, I bid you good tidings.
Best Regards
***
“How long have you had this?” I held the paper in my hands, staring at it.
“A week or so.”
“Is this the reason behind your recent melt down?”
“You know it is.”
“You could’ve just told me then. I would’ve preferred you to come clean about it.”
Claire stared at the wall. “I knew this would be hard on you. I didn’t know how to go about it. I was scared of how you’d react. It’s not easy for me either.”
“Are there any more—letters, I mean?” I folded the paper and placed it back in the envelope.
“No. I wish there were.” She turned and faced the door, taking only one step into the hallway. “I don’t know what else to say. I feel like I’ve failed you as a mother.”
“You’re the best mother I could ever wish for. You haven’t failed me in any way—ever.” I walked to her and hugged her.
“Isis, my parents didn’t know about this. Your father, Hector, didn’t want me to tell them. The only one that knew was Eva, and she promised she’d take it to the grave with her. She’s kept her promise. She’s never treated you like you weren’t her own blood.”
Claire stepped back into my room and sat on the edge
of the bed.
“You have no idea how difficult it was for me to face her after Hector told her you weren’t his.” She shook her head. “I was against it, but he insisted on telling her when his father threw him out into the street, penniless and with only the shirt on his back.”
“You had never told me that about Grandpa.”
“I didn’t want you to have a bad impression of him. He was a good man. He was just very old fashioned—set in his ways.” I sat next to her on the bed, and Claire put her arm around me. “It wasn’t until you were born that your grandfather came around—you charmed him silly.”
“Is there anything else I should know?”
“If there were, I wouldn’t hesitate to tell you now—I swear.” She crossed her heart like I used to when I was a little girl.
“If you remember anything else about him—my biological father—do you promise to tell me?”
Claire nodded.
***
David arrived right as Claire was backing out of the driveway. She waved to him as she drove off.
“Hey, handsome,” I said, standing sheepishly at the door in pajamas.
“Hello.” David pecked me on the cheek. “I was hoping you’d call. Did you speak to your mother?”
I nodded.
“And she told you about your biological father?”
“A little. He’s as much a mystery to my mother as he is to me.”
“How is that possible?”
I relayed the story to him that my mother had told me. He wasn’t as astounded as I was when I told him Claire didn’t know his name.
“He would’ve used an alias if she had asked,” David said.
“He sent me a letter.”
“What?” David’s eyes widened in disbelief. “You just told me you didn’t know who he was.”
“I don’t. He didn’t sign it, and there’s no return address.”
“Can I see it?”
“There’s actually two,” I said, walking toward the stairs. “C’mon.”
“No. Bring them down, please.”
“David…”
“No,” he repeated sternly. “Out of respect for your mother, please, bring them down.”
“Fine.” I sighed. I didn’t know what the big deal was. It wasn’t like I was going to jump his bones or anything. I blushed at the thought.
I rummaged through the cardboard box in Claire’s room and retrieved her letter, and then ran into my room and took the envelope addressed to me from my bed. I ran down the stairs and handed David my mom’s letter first.
David studied the postmarks on the envelope and tapped the stamp with the back of his finger. “Morocco. May I?” His hand was already in the envelope.
“Yeah.”
“This is it?” He made a face.
“Yes. My mom said that one came with a check.”
“Did she keep a copy?”
“I doubt it. This is the one I wanted you to see.” I handed David the more recent of the two letters. “It came about a week ago, but my mom kept it from me—until today.”
David looked over the stamp. “Turkey.” He frowned.
“Read the letter,” I said.
David unfolded the paper and skimmed over the letter. “He was very vague.” He examined the back of the paper as well.
“I know,” I said with disappointment in my voice.
“You expected me to find something, didn’t you?”
“I was hoping.”
“Does this mean you want to find your father?” David voiced the thought that had been dancing in my head.
“Maybe. I dunno. It would be weird.”
“There’s nothing strange about wanting to know who your father is. I would say it’s the most normal reaction you could have. I know I would want to know.”
“But I had a father. No one could ever take his place.”
“I understand, but it’s crucial that we find your biological father, before your coming of age.”
“I’m really changing?”
David nodded.
“How’s that possible?”
“I don’t know, but we need to know your father’s genetic makeup so that we can have an idea of your mutant gene characteristics.”
“You make it sound like I’m some sort of alien specimen.”
“I’m sorry; please, don’t be offended.” David brushed a strand of hair away from my eyes. “Scientifically, there’s no other way to describe your DNA composition. You have to remember that this involves me also.”
“David, I can’t imagine you as something other than what you are.” I sighed and looked away from him. “If your mother’s right, then I think that you should take back the Star Crest until you see what I truly am. For all I know, I could become some gruesome monster, like the ones you told me about from the wars. I don’t want you to live out your life lamenting your decision.”
“I’ve told you that those creatures were born like that.” He pressed the golden star on my chest. “This is yours to keep. I’m never taking it back.”
David began to unbutton his shirt.
With widened eyes, I took two steps back and used the couch as a barricade. “What are you doing?”
David stopped at the fourth button down giving me an amused stare. “What do you think I’m doing?”
I glanced at his unbuttoned shirt.
“I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not that easy. I only want to show you something.”
“Why didn’t you say that before you started ripping your clothes off?”
“Isis, I’m fully clothed,” he said. “Are you frightened of me again?”
“No… Of me.”
David cocked his brows. “I see.”
We looked at each other in awkwardness. I wondered what he thought of me.
“What do you have to show me?” I asked.
David opened his shirt revealing a diagonal thick wound with a tiny hollow in the middle of his chest.
“The scaring process has begun.” He ran his finger along the red line.
“What does that mean?”
“I can’t return the Star Crest into my chest. The cavity it was contained in has sealed.”
I walked to him and placed my hand over the lesion. “You mean it’s really irreversible?”
“It had to be this way. If I hadn’t, we could never be together.”
“How were you so sure of what you were doing? What if—what if I’m just a novelty to you?”
“Nothing can change how I feel for you. And you’ll always be a novelty to me.”
I locked my fingers with his. “You know you’re perfect, right?”
“Hardly,” he said. “Sorry to disappoint you again.”
I couldn’t help but glance at his half-open shirt. I placed my hand on the scar and ran my fingers up his neck. I pulled his head down to mine. My lips pressed against his fervently.
David took my hand from behind his head and squeezed it. He pulled away from me. His eyes were wide. He knew I was looking for more than a simple kiss.
“We should show my father the letters,” he said, buttoning his shirt.
What was wrong with me? All of a sudden, I was a walking hormone. I blushed as David looked at me, and then I turned to look at the floor.
“Did I offend you?” David asked.
“No,” I mumbled. “I’m embarrassed. I can’t believe myself.”
David bit his bottom lip trying not to show his proud smile. He nestled me against his chest. “If it’s any consolation, I find you very… desirable.”
I embraced him in a tight hug and buried my face in his shirt to hide the crimson color I felt radiating from my neck, face, and ears.
“I have to change out of these pajamas. I’ll be back in a few minutes. I hope your dad finds a clue on one of those letters,” I said.
“Take your time.” He softened his embrace and looked at me with his dreamy blue eyes.
***
Up in
my room, I reached into my drawer for a white tank shirt. When I pulled it out something flew out of the drawer along with it and fell on the floor next to my feet. It was the pack of birth control pills Claire had given me.
I bent over and opened the compact. Should I have listened to my mom and taken the things? I sat on my bed starring at them in silence.
“This is stupid,” I said. I clicked the compact shut and shoved the pink circle back into the drawer, where I would forget about it. I wasn’t ready for that. I was still embarrassed from almost pouncing on David. Why would I even think about taking those pills? Then again…
I opened the drawer for a second time and pulled out the compact. Claire had been right about this sort of thing being unexpected. But we—David and I—had to abide by the rules. Nothing would happen between us that would require me to begin taking the contraceptive pills.
I pushed the compact way to the back of the drawer this time and closed it. I almost reached for the drawer again, but I remembered David was waiting for me downstairs. It was dumb to consider looking for a third time.
The shift from adolescence to young adulthood brought on so many responsibilities and choices. In two months, I’d turn eighteen. I’d be considered an adult even though the number was still suggestive of adolescence. I felt older than that somehow.
I suppose the experiences I had with my mom and dad had made me mature a little faster. And now the experiences I had lived with David and his family had opened my eyes to a whole new world. It was my world now—my reality.
***
Alezzander’s face grew uneasy as I walked into the living room at the Ebony Estate. I wondered if it would always be this way, this awkward.
“Afternoon, Isis.” His thunderous voice bounced off the living room walls. He set his coffee cup on the table and stood to greet me.
“I’m glad to see you’re back.” Alezzander offered me a seat. “I’m still very unsettled about my reaction toward you yesterday. Believe me when I say, that’s not the man I am. I’m ashamed by my behavior.”
“You’ve apologized already. I know you were only looking out for your family.”
“Thank you. I feel more at ease to hear you say this.”
“Father,” David said as Alezzander took a seat across from me. “Isis has some news regarding her biological father she’d like to share.”
“Go on…”
Nyx and the twins joined us in the living room. I told them everything I knew about my mother and the man that was my biological father. Then I showed them the letters.
Nyx turned to Alezzander. “Why would he send a letter stating he’s her father, but keep his identity unrevealed? I’d assume he would present himself to her fully so that she’s aware that he’s sincere in his attempt to contact her.”