at drawing.”
“Hey! Let me do what I want.”
“Whatever.”
She was sketching her pencil from lines to more lines. I looked around her room, seeing the oh-so-familiar posters hanging on her wall. She was infatuated with the actor Shia Labeuof and watched any of the movies he starred in. The obsession was okay, really. But every time I sleep over, I feel like he himself was really staring at me. It's kind of creepy, knowing someone is watching you at night. I mentioned that to Janaki once, but she thought that was kinda hot.
My attention now went to her bulletin board. Photos of people that matter in her life were pinned on it. My eyes still light up when I see the picture of us when we went to a camping trip for our Girl Scout troop in the seventh grade. We had wet hair, pulled back in a ponytail, and had our bright green “We Believe” t-shirts on with big smiles plastered on our faces. Next to that picture was another of the whole troop before we swam in the lake. We barely keep in touch with the other girls now.
“Wanna watch a scary movie?” Janaki asked, not looking up from her paper.
“Well it’s better than nothing.” I said. She stood up and walked out the door as I followed close by. She went to the kitchen first to microwave some popcorn and get soda from the refrigerator. I went to her living room where her plasma screen was located and sat on the floor. Underneath her TV was shelf of the Dutta's collection of horror movies. Her parents are movie-people. Had every genre neatly shelved in alphabetical order. Sadly, no romantic comedies in this house. I looked through the Grudge series, then The Saw series, finally found a movie I didn't see yet, Silent Hill.
She came in the room, putting the popcorn and drinks on the coffee table, sitting on the couch next to me as the previews shown. She glanced at the open DVD cartridge. “Decent pick.”
She sat down on the couch with her legs crossed turning on the TV screen with the remote.
The movie didn't scare me as I thought it would, it was actually just kinda gross. But I couldn't sleep well at night. It wasn't because of the movie that caused my sudden insomnia, but more so of the info Janaki gave me on Eric while we were watching the movie.
She said that Eric would always talk about scary movies. He was fascinated with them. In fact, because of him, Janaki herself got into them. But she always thought that Eric was a bit creepy about it. She would describe Eric idolizing the bad guys. How smart they were, the careful measures they took. But bad guys always lose in the end. She didn't get that and neither did I. Even if everyone always mentions wouldn't it be cool if the bad guys win, just one time! But yet, no one has the heart to actually do that with his or her own stories.
I drifted off to sleep, eventually...thankfully. Still, the thoughts of Eric floated in my head, beyond my control.
2. CHILDHOOD FRIENDS
School was an amazing drag on Monday and Tuesday. Kade got a cold and Janaki was secretly dating Jake now, which annoyed me to no end. She's not very good at keeping secrets and Jake is no help with that at all. It started on Monday morning, when I found Jake in his usual spot, but this time Janaki was there before I was. He broke the news that Kade was sick, and I questioned Janaki why she was there early. Jake snorted and she gave him a disproving look. The worst was yet to come.
When they thought I wasn't looking, Jake sneaked a kiss her way, which led to her ear instead of her mouth. I had to bit my tongue in order for me not to laugh out loud at his fail. I decided to corner her into telling me her “secret” relationship with the worst guy on Earth during our lunch period.
I sat down in my seat at English getting out my notebook and a pen I found out of sheer luck at the bottom of my bag. Eric, of course, was already sitting at the desk before anyone was even in the classroom. He gave me a quiet nod, and I gave him one back. We haven't talked since we were assigned as partners. I was beginning to think he already finished the work without me. But at the end of English, he reminded me something that I have completely forgotten.
“So I'll see you at the library at 3 o'clock, okay?” He probably knew I would forget, and went kind on me. His gray eyes were locked into my brown ones.
“Uh...yes.” I could only utter.
Janaki was already sitting at a table, doing her forgotten homework per usual. She had an apple in her left hand she was slowly eating as she wrote quickly with her right hand.
“Hey Jana,” I said, pulling my bag strap from my shoulder. She pushed a brown bag my way. I opened it to see an apple identical to hers, a ham-and-cheese sandwich, and a bag of Cheetos. “Nice.” I grinned at her.
“Need something?” She said, scratching her head with eraser side of the pencil.
“Just wanted to ask, how's it going with Jake?”
Her eyes were wide and she dropped her pencil on her book as she flustered a bit. “So you can tell.”
“I'm not that stupid, Jana,” I said, pulling the sandwich out of the bag.
“Well, at least I don't have to hide it from you.” She grabbed her pencil and spoke in a low voice, “but I still don't want people to know I'm dating Jake Williams.”
“Ew,” I said, giving her a disgusted look. She laughed and continued eatin her apple.
“Oh, but he's an excellent kisser.”
“Ah...double ew!”
“Want me to triple that ‘ew,’ Dottie?” She asked.
“Please, for the sake of me keeping lunch down, don't,” I said and quickly changed the subject. “I have to go to the library today to do research on that English assignment.”
“Oh yeah?” She said, “With Eric right?”
I nodded and hummed 'M-hm'.
She gave me a sly smirk. “Have fun.” I was then reminded that Janaki wasn't stupid either.
I came to the library on the exact time Eric told me. For some reason, I always happen to be at places at the exact time I’m told to be. It’s a weird gift I have.
Eric was already at the entrance of the library, as expected. He had his phone out and glanced at me as I came towards him. He didn't smile and I didn't either. But we noticed each other—I guess that was good enough. He opened one of the double doors for me, revealing a huge desk with a librarian sitting behind it. She looked like all the librarians in the movies: her hair pulled back in a tight bun, thick glasses, probably in her 60's. But she didn't have that ‘Be quiet’ obnoxious look on her face, instead there was sweet and sympathetic smile.
“Hello Eric!” She greeted him as if he was a long lost friend or something. Her eyes then shifted towards me. “Who's your friend?”
“My name is Dorothy Fane.”
She beamed. “Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Fane.”
I gave her a small grin.
Eric moved quietly towards one of the computers with the library search engine on it. He typed in 'Katherine Anne Porter' and he wrote down information on the books location.
“Why don't you go sit at a table, and I'll go get the books,” he whispered to me.
I walked towards a table by a large window, and put my bag down. He came back with the books in a flash. It was obvious he knew the place well.
“Here.” He handed me a book. I glanced at him but he was too busy putting his stuff down and taking out a folder and pen from his backpack.
We then sat in silence for about ten minutes, and I barely read through the first chapter of Porter's Biography. Part of that was because I was a slow reader, and part because I wanted trying to gather up the courage to ask Eric about his knowledge of the library. Even though it wasn't an important question, I just wanted to break some part of the ice between us.
“I uh…” I began and his eyes rose from the book. His deep gaze made me feel nervous. “Have you been here a lot before?”
“I used to come here a lot in my sophomore and half of my junior year. Then I stopped, I dunno why.” He said, shrugging. He flipped to the next page of his book, obviously trying to signal that he was busy taking notes. I glanced over my book, sighing at myself for even trying
with him.
We stayed at the library until 5:30. I didn’t even realize that it until Eric gently put his hand out towards me, encouraging me to hand him the book. As he was putting them back, I glanced at his notebook filled with eight pages of notes. Then I stared back at mine, which was slightly pitiful—I only took up two pages.
As we headed out the door I tried to initiate another get-to-know-you conversation, only to downfall at another lame attempt. “So, how's your life going?”
I swear he gave m a playful smirked. “You expect me to answer that?”
I gulped and said, “No. Not really.”
“My life is going pretty swell,” he said with noticeable sarcasm. “Thanks for asking.”
I chuckled hesitantly. Why was he making me feel so uncomfortable? I decided to give up and just talk about our paper. “Do you know how the format of the research is supposed to be?”
He was looking towards the horizon at the sun setting. I didn’t think he was going to bother answering my question, but he said, “We're supposed to do a three page research paper, and make a project board on our assignment. I mean, you would know if you were paying attention.” Surprisingly, he didn’t say that last part condescendingly. He was smirking at me.
I blushed. I don’t know why but I did. I looked away.
Emily was stuffing her face with waffles, so I hissed at her to stop it.
“I don't care!” she said, taking another big fork full of waffles.
“If you keep eating that way, you're going to get a stomach ache! And mom and dad aren't here today, so I really don't want to call them up and say you got sick! You know how bad that will look for me?”
“Are we going to the ranch today?” Emily asked, retracing back to the conversation we had this morning so I could get her out of watching endless cartoons on television.
“I don't know. I'll have to call Jana,” I said, getting up from the table to put my plate in the sink. It was finally Saturday, and in late notice, I had no more plans. Kade had gotten better, showing up to school on Thursday, but he broke the news to me that he had to go to his grandmother's funeral this weekend, because she recently died on that morning. And since I found out I’m free, I decided to give my parents a day to themselves by looking after Emily.
“I'm bored.” She complained, folding her arms across her chest. She finished her plate of waffles.
I forgot that Emily is the hardest child to take care of. “I'm calling her, I'm calling her!” I said, already getting annoyed in the first hour alone with my sister. I grabbed the phone from the kitchen, instantly dialing Janaki's number by memory.
A rough, all-too-familiar voice answered on the other end. “What do you want, Fane?”
“Jake?” I exclaimed, my eyes probably wide. He sounded...tired. “No.” I whispered, as hundreds of things went through my mind. Pictures in my head I probably shouldn’t elaborate on—let alone keep on thinking of.
I shut my eyes hard and they went away. “Wha—?” Then I heard Janaki talking in the background. There was quiet bickering and then some resolution.
“Hello?” Janaki said, sounding a bit tired as well. Great. Brings back the images.
“Janaki! What the hell is going on over there?” I said, harshly, forgetting my sister was sitting right at the table just a couple of feet away.
“Oh stop worrying. We didn't do anything.” She comforted.
Thank God! “But why is he at your house?”
“He had nothing better to do today. Jake came to my house, uninvited,” she replied simply.
“Well as long as—nothing happened?” I asked again.
“Not unless you call making out as something of a potentially cause for pregnancy.” She said rather innocently. I laughed.
Then my sister gave me a glare. I gave one back, sighed, and asked, “Are you planning on going to the ranch today?”
“Well, on the news it said 50 percent chance of rain today.” Her voice flat, so I knew she didn't care about the rain all that much, “Yes, I'm going. Why?”
“Can Emily and I come too?”
“Damn—the car's gonna be full, but sure. Why not.”
And that's what I was afraid of. “You mean Jake's coming too?”
“Yes Jake is coming. In fact, what is your problem with him anyway? He's been a joy to be arou—Hey! Stop teasing Teddy!” She shouted in the phone.
“Okay, Jana…my ear.” I said, rubbing it as I placed the phone on my other ear.
“Oops! Sorry Dottie.” But she was probably smiling.
“I could just drive my car there,” I offered.
“No Dottie!” She said, “My car's a piece of crap and all dirty. Your car's shiny and beautiful. I wouldn't want to get an ounce of dirt on that thing. I'm driving.”
I grinned. Janaki was always so giving. “I Love you SO MUCH.” I emphasized.
“I know. I'm amazing like that. I'll see ya later.”
I clicked the phone back on the receiver, and Emily said, “So?”
I sighed. “We're going to the ranch.”
She had her hands into fists, raised them up, then pulling them down in a slow jazz move. “Yes!”
“Go get ready, Janaki will be picking us up in a few.” She pushed back from her chair, jumped off, and ran upstairs to her room. I grabbed her plate to put in the dishwasher. Then I cleaned up the kitchen a bit so mom wouldn't have to do much.
I went upstairs to get ready myself. I opened my closet, searching through my clothes. I chose a blue top and some random pair of light gray skinny jeans that I haven’t touched since summer. I went to the bathroom to do my hair and makeup and settled for a ponytail and some blue eyes shadow with a bit of eyeliner.
Emily ran up to the bathroom, stopping at the door. “I'm ready! Now let's go!” I looked at Emily to make sure that she chose her clothing well. She wore her favorite pink flower pattern shirt, and blue jeans. Although her blond hair was still bed-head messy.
“Am I doing your hair?” I asked
“M-hm.” And she sat on the toilet seat, facing the shower curtain, so I could do my normal procedure. She swung her legs as I finished with her pigtails.
“There. Now we can go,” I said, but remembering, “As soon as Janaki gets here.”
She dramatically sighed so I shot a glared at her.
“We're listening to The Killers, and that's final,” Janaki said, inserting a CD in her car.
“I don't like them,” Jake said, crossing his arms across his chest. “They're too whiny.”
“Hey! My car, my music. And you're just going to have to respect that.” She gave Jake a smile as she pulled out my parent's driveway.
I sat on the left side of her small car, letting Emily and Brian sit next to each other. I had a feeling this was going to be an awkward friend’s day out. For one, Jake was here. And for two, I don't do third wheels. Well, fifth wheels, if you really consider Emily and Brian as a couple. But they weren't old enough to understand that.
“You're being extremely quiet,” Janaki said, looking through her rear-view mirror. She smiled for a second at me, and then went back to focusing on the road. “What's up?”
I shrugged, but then remembering that her eyes were on the road. “Nothing.”
Jake twisted his head towards me, appearing as if he wanted to say something, but shook his head slightly and turned back.
Next to me, Emily and Brian were conspiring, probably, and laughing like crazy. I sighed softly, and leaned against the window, staring at the uninteresting trees that passed by.
The sun attacked my face with its harmful rays. I hated the sun, it's always too bright and too hot anytime you see it. Doesn't matter if you're in the coldest place in the world and freezing to death (of course then you would be thankful for the sun) you can feel the heat once the sun is in vision.
I found a table-bench with a shade over it. I decided to focus on Emily and Brian who were at the small pond in front of me. Emily was starin
g at the orange fish swimming while Brian was in the tall grass, catching something. After awhile he popped up and had a brownish-green blob in his hand. It was then I realized that it was a toad.
Brian went to Emily to show her. She squirmed at first but eventually lifted her hand to pet it. The sight made me crack a smile.
Someone suddenly tapped me on the shoulders. Whoever it was immediately sat down next to me, and I turned my head. It was Jeremy Ortiz. He was Miguel Ortiz’s son, the owner of the ranch Janaki's horse lived at.
I haven't been at the ranch since last summer, yet Jeremy looked completely different. He grew out his hair enough to gel it back but his skin the same shade of dark brown. And his face looked more mature than his baby face that I remembered last year. But his eyes were still the same: wide and dark brown. He smiled and showed his white teeth.
“Hey Dorothy, it's been a while.”
“Yeah,” I said. “You've sure changed a lot. Summer's been good to you, I guess.”
“Nah, not summer. I didn't wake up and suddenly saw this in the mirror. It was a process.” His voice faded at his last sentence, something else caught his attention. “Who'd Jana bring?”
“Huh?” Then I glanced at the direction that held his gaze. “Oh, that's Jake. He's Janaki's boyfrie—” He turned back to me, giving me a puzzled expression. “Well, I guess it doesn't matter if you know. You don't even go to our school. Janaki is ‘secretly dating’ Jake.” His face slightly became a frown, which made me feel bad. I forgot he had a crush on her. So I wanted to change the subject “You're a sophomore this year?”
He nodded, stretching out his arms.
“Nice. Any hot girls?” I playfully punched him in the arm.
He blinked at me. “This conversation is so not happening.”
I gasped. “Jeez, at least I tried.” I crossed my arms.
He spoke, “So then, what’s going on with you?”
“Eh… same old.” I waved my hand around.
“Well, um. Any hot—”
“Don't even.” I smirked and he laughed.
“You're not going to believe this,” Janaki came towards us, her face absolutely glowing, “but Lacey's pregnant!”
I stood up, Jeremy following my lead. “Wow, that's uh... something.” I tried my hardest to look excited for her, but I honestly wasn't. She barely noticed though, running back to the stables where Jake was petting Lacey’s nose. I bet he had no idea how to react to this news either.
Brian and Emily came up from behind us, probably wondering what all the fuss was about. I took a peek into the stales, and stared at Lacey. Janaki’s horse had a caramel colored body and white legs. She never really wanted to cut Lacey's mane, so her hair fell right in front of her eyes.
Janaki took a carrot from a basket, and fed Lacey.
“When did you find out?” Jeremy asked as a sly grin on his face grew.
“Wha—you knew!? And you didn't tell me?” Her hand almost disappearing in the horse's mouth, before she snapped it back out. “Close,” She muttered, rubbing her hand.
“And spoil the wonderful surprise? How could I?” He chuckled.
A woman with blond hair in her mid 30s, I think, came around the corner with a clipboard in her hand. She looked up, her bright blue eyes showing. “Friends of yours, Janaki?”
She nodded. “Yes ma’am.”
The woman smiled softly. Flipping through her clipboard, she began walking away, doing something else.
“Tracey's always so busy,” Jeremy said.
“Has she always been here? I don't remember her.” I said.
“Tracey's new,” Janaki said, feeding Lacey another carrot. “Really sweet, but way too stressed out!”
“I would be too if I had to keep track of that many horses” I said in Tracey’s defense. Then I stepped next to Janaki to pet Lacey’s nose.
Jeremy said, “Want to know who the father is?”
“That would be nice,” I said under my breath.
“Well... am I going to like the father?”
“Depends on… if you like black horses?” Jeremy shifted his weight and I burst out laughing. Jake did too.
“Wow Jer, I'm not racist.” She chuckled. “Who is it?”
“Wonder.” Jeremy said in a very serious tone.
Her eyes widened. “Wonder got Lacey pregnant? No freaking way!” Wonder is Jeremy's horse. He was born around the same time Lacey was.
“Hate me now?”
“Not unless you planned it.” She wagged her finger at him. I looked over at Jake who seemed utterly lost. Jeremy and Janaki were friends since they were kids. Whoever said childhood friends never last was wrong when it came to them.
I watched as the two exchanged happy glances. Then Jake came by me as if I could have been reading his mind and asked, “What's the history behind them?”
“Childhood friends.”
“Oh,” He said, in a sad tone. “That close,” He muttered, thinking that I may have not heard him. I felt slight pity for him; I guess he really did care for Janaki.
But as Emily and Brian crossed me to go pet Lacey, I thought more on the concept of childhood friends. I never had a friend all the way back in Pre-K that grew up with me up until now. Sure, you have friends every grade, but do those people ever end up sticking with you? Those people who've had childhood friends are so lucky. The one you have grown up with—the one you may end up trusting in the end.
If only everyone could have that special friend from the beginning.
3. THE FIGHT
The rain pounded softly on my rooftop. I loved the rain, but I could never sleep during even the quietest thunderstorms (not that storms could be that quiet anyway). I decided, since I had nothing better to do, to look through my old yearbooks. I found them stuffed under my bed with a bunch of other unknown crap I kept. Carefully, I grasped the one from my tenth grade.
The cover had a paw-print etched on it, with the caption “Go Wolves”. I opened the book to the first page and glanced at some of the signatures and messages left to me.
I skipped pass that and flipped to the pictures of students. I think I have changed a lot since then. For instance, my hair grew out longer and that was also the time I decided I wanted to grow out my bangs. And my braces came off at the end of tenth grade. Just thinking about that made my teeth ache.
My eyes then fell onto Eric’s picture, two pictures away from my own. Fane, Grant? I noticed that Eric doesn't look much different than he is now, except now that his face was angled maturely than two years ago. It also seemed like Eric was happier that time, which he probably was until that summer.
I kept thinking about that more than I should have. And I've come to realize that whomever Eric comes across in this small town, he will always get dirty looks. I know everyone must be thinking: “He got off so lucky, that Eric Grant. Everyone knows he killed those boys. He made those others scared to death and they ran away.” And I just felt bad for him now. But that was still bothering me—that fact that he might have...
And then I snapped the book shut. I don't know why I did—maybe I just didn't want to face the facts. Why, all of the sudden, was I even caring at all for Eric Grant? I never spoken to him, never even noticed him. He’s just the kid who probably killed his friends. And now I can't even stop thinking about him?
“There's something wrong with me,” I said aloud.
When I got to English, Eric was there. He took out his binder and pen without so much as a glance at me when the door creaked open and shut.
I sat down on the chair, getting things out of my bag, when he spoke up.
“Hi Dorothy.” I could tell his body was turned to me, so I spun in my seat to face him.
“Hi, Eric.” My voice sounded weird when I said his name, and the thought of that made my face feel hot.
He then spoke as if he was questioning his own idea. “Would you mind meeting me by the boy's locker room after school?”
“Uh, sure.” My brow
s must have furrowed in a confused expression, because smiled just a tad. The class started and everything was a blur from there.
When the release bell rang, I headed off to the boy's locker room, still wondering what Eric wanted. Lost in thought, I heard a loud bang against a door. It came from the outside of the boy’s locker room. I didn't want to get into the commotion, so I slightly peered from around the corner of the wall in which I could perfectly view a couple of boys surrounding one boy.
The other boys were punching him in the stomach, calling him nasty names—maybe even spitting on him. The hallway was dark because one of the lights wasn't working, so I couldn't tell who it was. He was leaning against the wall though, holding his right arm. I froze, not knowing what to do at that moment.
“Why don't you fight?” A voice said, a voice that sounded all too familiar. The tall blond punched him again, and he hissed through his teeth in stinging pain. The other guys laughed around him, as if it was all some joke.
My eyes were fixing better on the lighting, and I could see the faces now. Some of the guys were football players, the people I know that play with Kade. And…Kade? I could tell because he was wearing his football jacket. And the guy they were punching. The guy….
“Stop being such a pussy, Grant.” One of Kade's football friends said.
“Yeah, get up and at least try to fight us.” Kade kicked Eric's leg. Eric was now on the floor.
I was trying to keep quiet, my breathing was getting loud. The whole sight was unreal to me. My boyfriend…and Eric. Why?
After a minute or two, the guys left Eric sitting on the floor, his hand still around is right arm. I didn't know whether to go up to him, or to just stay where I was. Maybe I should have just walked away. But then he stood up slowly, carefully holding his arm. He walked towards me (at least I think so) then stopped where I was standing.
I looked up at him, and there was nothing. His eyes weren't swollen like I thought they might have been. His arm might have been bruised but I was gawking at his stomach. His shirt was pulled up a little, showing the red bruising. But there were dark bruises too—he’s been beat up before. My eyes flowed all around his body, which I never paid any attention to, until now.
He knew I was exploring him, so he let go of his arm and pulled his shirt down. I gazed into his gray eyes, a pained expression reflecting back.
“What…happened?” I had to ask.
He shrugged. “You saw everything. You tell me.” I didn’t say anything back, still in shock of the scene. I watched as he strolled down the hallway, without uttering another word.
The low-toned ring on the other end of the line kept me anxious. “Come on Jana. Pick up!” I muttered under my breath. I was on my way home after stopping by the supermarket to grab some milk as per mom’s request. Emily was taking dance lessons until 4:45, which left me about a half an hour before I had to pick her up.
Finally, she picked up. “Hello?”
“Jana! I need to talk to you!” I said, breathlessly.
The sound of clattered noise filled the air on the other end. “And you have me. What's up?”
But then I paused. How was I going to say this exactly? 'Hey, Eric Grant got beat up today, and I have my suspicions that that wasn't the first time', or 'My beloved boyfriend Kade was beating up Eric today'. The conversation starter had its limits.
“Uh—hello? Dottie, you there?”
“Yeah.” I hesitated. “Um... I saw a fight.” I bit my lip.
“Really?! Do tell.” Janaki was always one for school fights. They amazed her, perhaps because she never witnessed one in all her years of high school. She never caught it unfold in time.
“It wasn't a great and wonderful thing, Jana. In fact, it was bad.” That’s all I could say without getting weird on her.
“What happen?” Now she sounded worried, believing that I may have gotten in the middle of something.
“A bunch of jocks beat up this one kid,” I said softly, pulling into my driveway.
“And you know 'em, right?” She was so good.
“It was Kade and his friends.”
“Well everyone sometimes goes through a ph—”
“They beat up Eric.”
She was dead quiet. All I could hear was some breathing. “What?”
“Eric Grant.” I said slowly.
“No way! Why would—”
“And I don't even think that was the first time,” I interrupted her. “He had a bunch of bruises on his stomach, it was so purple!”
“That's a lot of info. I don't know what you want me to say.”
I headed towards my room now. “I guess I didn't want you to say anything. I just don't know what to do.”
“This is just too weird,” she said as an afterthought. “Do you want me to