date some girls before me. I mean, come on! He’s totally a looker.
“Oh…” I asked. The only other boyfriend before Kade was this kid named Shawn. We dated around the beginning of high school. I only agreed to be his girlfriend because he asked me out in this really lame pink up line. I felt bad to say no. It only lasted about two weeks because he wasn’t really interested in me; he just wanted to use the line. “Well good for you.”
“Yes. I can feel how proud you are of me.” Eric said sarcastically, lightening up the mood.
I couldn’t help but giggle—he was right. The past is the past, after all. “Yeah. Sorry.” I swung my legs back and forth while he typed something on his computer.
I grabbed a piece of my hair and fiddled with it. I thought if I just kept playing with my hair, Eric would easily tell I was bored out of my mind. But he didn’t. He kept clanking away on his keyboard. So maybe I should try action.
I moved to him, putting my hands on the armrests on his chair. I pushed my lips onto his, savoring the moment. I could tell that he was startled by the way he wasn’t kissing my back. But after two seconds, his mouth was forming against mine nicely. I pull back and say, “Shannon didn’t interrupt us!”
“Good.” He said. We sat and stare at each other. It’s all good.
17. ACCIDENTAL
“Shh.” Eric’s soft voice whispered.
“Dude, are you serious?” Aaron’s deep voice ignored the pleading one. “You expect me to be quiet. This is going way too far. Dottie’s enough as it is, and now there’s another girl?”
My eyelids would have shot up if I didn’t control them to stay down. I couldn’t believe what Aaron said—does Eric have someone else? But why?
“It’s not like I wanted this to happen,” Eric said.
“Well then, tell me: How did you want this happen?”
I could hear the computer load up, and Eric tapped some keys. “Take a look.”
There was a quiet pause; I could only guess that Aaron was reading whatever Eric was showing him. And then he said, “So what? You think this girl is serious?”
“I knew her since grade school,” Eric said harshly. “She’s serious when she tells people.”
“Then give her back, this is getting weird anyway!” Aaron said.
“It’s not that easy,” Eric muffled, probably through his hands, “We’re already in too deep. There will be questions. I’ll go to jail.” He sighed. “Maybe that’s what it had to come to. I think I already knew that—I think I’m okay with it.”
That was it. I opened my eyes in the dark room, looking out into the night, and sat up on the bed. “You’re not going anywhere!” I yelled, the guys turned my way, and I noticed Eric had a pained expression on his face. “What’s going on?”
Again the room fell silent. Then Aaron said, “Well go on! Tell her!”
“Janaki said that she’s going to run away and try to find you.” Eric answered quietly. He didn’t look at my face, too ashamed to even do so.
Janaki’s going to run away? “What?” I blurted out. “How do you know?”
Aaron moved out of the way for me to see the computer screen. Eric shifted the laptop for me to see easier. “I read it on her blog.”
“I still cannot believe you read blogs,” Aaron said. “That’s just weird. You need to do something else in your spare time.”
Eric shook his head. “I shouldn’t keep you in here anymore; I don’t know what I was thinking.” He put his head in his hands, “You need to go home.”
Something inside me broke out and I stood up abruptly, snarling, “Are you kidding? Do you have any idea what the hell we’re going through?”
“Should I—” I glared at Aaron who immediately backed away to the door and disappeared.
“What are you talking about?” Eric gazed up at me.
“You’re talking about getting arrested!” I cried out. “I don’t want you to!”
“What kind of a story are you going to make? You’ve been gone for a little over a month. People will be asking. You just can’t say—”
“I’ll deal with that on my own, thank you.” I interrupted him.
Eric got on his feet and drew his arms around me. “You’re crazy, you know that?”
“You’re crazier.” I said.
He nodded. “Dorothy, I realized that as soon as I took you from the party that I would possibly regret doing that for my entire life.”
I hesitated. “Then why’d you do it?” Was he really going to explain clearly to me, now?
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I really like you. And I hate Kade. But I thought either way we’d all lose in the end.”
“Wait…were you planning on keeping me forever?” I said.
Eric didn’t say anything for a while. “When I did it, I didn’t care what would happen. Like I was hoping for someone to catch me, but then at the same time I just wanted you here.”
“Shannon told me about your friends,” I said, recalling the information. “I didn’t know you were suicidal.”
“When they died, my life fell apart.” Eric whispered. His gray eyes bore into mine. “We talked about it, I also thought of doing it. I had the knife in my hand, Dorothy. All I needed to do was move it.” He closed his eyes, keeping his head low. “I didn’t even have to guts to do it, not like they did.”
“Why did you want to die so bad?”
“I couldn’t take it anymore. Sure, I had friends, but it’s just—I don’t know. I was lonely either way. You probably thought I killed them, didn’t you?” I looked away when he opened his eyes. “Then I started thinking about the afterlife. If there even is one?”
“You don’t think you’ll go to heaven?”
He shook his head. “The more I think about it, suicide is a way for people to escape. I wanted to escape, obviously, but I knew I couldn’t go out like that. I thought about Judas, you know?”
I was familiar with that. “One of Jesus’ disciples?” He nodded. “I’d like to think he went to heaven.” I mulled over. The little I knew of Judas was he betrayed Jesus, then hung himself because he felt bad about it.
“It never says in the bible what happens to Judas in the afterlife. Some slight indcations and assumption but no one really knows for sure. Judas went easily: he didn’t want to live with himself so he got rid of what he hated the most. People who commit suicide…nobody really knows where they are. Then again, nobody knows what really happens to anybody in the afterlife. Once you’re gone, you can’t come back.”
I realized then that Shannon was right—Eric was totally messed up. He was so confused and clearly afraid. He doesn’t know what to believe anymore. He lived in fear and regret. Maybe he’s just not on his right mind overall. So many things happened to him and I don’t blame him.
It was clear to me. He needs to move on, I need to go back. Maybe things can turn out right if we just come clean. “Eric, you have to take me to Janaki.” I said softly, yanking at the hem of his t-shirt.
“Agreed,” Eric said.
I felt my eyes get teary at the thought of what would happen after that. “I just don’t want you to go to jail. Can’t we do something about it—something different?”
Eric didn’t say anything, but instead he walked over to the door and opened it. “Aaron, you goy a sec?”
Aaron quietly shuffled in. “Need something?”
“Since mom’s not here, we need your car.” He replied, with his hand sticking out waiting for a set of keys. When nothing happened, he said, “Well?”
“No way in hell I’m going to let you drive my car,” Aaron said with a grin on his face. “I’ll be delighted to drive you guys. Come on. We got somebody to save?”
“Janaki,” I said.
“Right. Sounds interesting.”
Unfortunately, Aaron was unprepared for a rescue mission; he had no gas in his car. So while he walked down to the gas station about a mile away. Eric and I ate some lunch in the interim.
“You are kin
g of turkey sandwiches,” I said, taking another bite.
“Yeah,” Eric said, leaning his head back on his hands. “I should own my own cooking show.”
I finished it off and with my mouth full I said, “Mm. You should.” I met Eric’s eyes and watched his mouth form a quick grin. “What?”
He scooted closer to me, his face inches from mine. “You look absolutely adorable when you eat.”
“Really?” I said, surprised. I didn’t think that would be right. I felt like a pig when I ate. My eating was way far from adorable.
After I finished my sandwich, Eric threw the dishes in the sink and we headed to the living room. He made his way around the coffee table, careful not to trip over any books lying on the ground. He took something from the shelf and handed it to me as he sat down on the couch.
I looked at the obscure brown object in my hand. “What is it?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” He said, with a hint of amusement. “It’s a treasure box.”
“Oh,” I murmured, opening the golden lock that I felt just a second ago on the side of the box. Inside was a velvet brown kind of fabric. But something else caught my eye—a silver necklace shining back at me. I reached for it, staring it down in my hand. I noticed then it was a locket, an old one at that. It was square-rounded, a star etched in the middle. I didn’t open it, too afraid that there might have been something inside. “This is beautiful,” I said, breathless.
“It originally belonged to my great-great-grandmother from my dad’s side.” He said, taking it from my hand. “I want you to have it.”
“What?” I said, feeling my eyes widen. “No.” I