many Spirit-Focused people I love. They have a lot of “field experience” and they may not always say it, but they would love for a Bible-obsessed intellectual to talk to them about their experience and coach them in being a little more exact with their Bible interpretation of it all… without just telling them they are wrong and without acting like the smartest guy in the room.
Carl: Like when I was young and my older brother helped me throw a baseball better!
Jesus: Are you referring to the Spirit-Focused guys helping you understand the miracles?
Carl: We learn from each other.
Jesus: And grow together in me.
Carl: That makes a lot of sense.
Jesus: That’s enough for today.
Carl: We’ll talk tomorrow?
Jesus: It’s all up to you.
Scene 4: Greek to Me
Carl: There You are!
Jesus: Oh! You found me!
Carl: I’ve been searching all over for You.
Jesus: That’s why you found me.
Carl: How long have You been over there?
Jesus: Forever.
Carl: But I didn’t see You there before.
Jesus: You weren’t looking hard enough.
Carl: It should have been easy to see You over there.
Jesus: Yer tellin’ me! I’ve been waiting for you to notice.
Carl: Why didn’t You say anything?
Jesus: I like playing find and seek.
Carl: You mean “hide and seek.”
Jesus: No, I mean “find and seek.” Find me by seeking me.
Carl: Whatever. I’ve been meaning to ask You…
Jesus: Ask whatever.
Carl: We were talking about Baptism of the Holy Spirit yesterday.
Jesus: We were talking about many things yesterday.
Carl: Our conversation has gotten all over the map.
Jesus: I had a maple tree tell me the same thing once. I just told her that she needed to branch-out in multiple directions. She kept wanting to grow straight up. Up is good, but that’s more for bamboo trees.
Carl: Why are we talking about trees?
Jesus: Because bamboo trees lay-in a big root system for a long time, without getting any taller, then, suddenly, they grow straight up really fast. In a few years they get taller than a lot of maple trees ever get in their lifetimes.
Carl: I don’t want to talk about trees!
Jesus: Growth is growth.
Carl: I want to talk about Baptism of the Holy Spirit.
Jesus: You mean my Holy Spirit.
Carl: Yes, Baptism of Your Holy Spirit.
Jesus: “Baptism”—what’s that?
Carl: Don’t You know?
Jesus: Well, I know, but I didn’t know that you spoke Greek.
Carl: I don’t.
Jesus: I didn’t think so. I AM usually not wrong. [express sarcasm in ‘usually’]
Carl: I’ve never known You to be wrong.
Jesus: Glad to hear you say so. But why are you using Greek words like “baptism?”
Carl: The Bible uses the word “baptism.”
Jesus: Your translation of the Bible uses the word “baptism,” but it’s not an English word. They didn’t translate that one. It’s Greek.
Carl: Whatever, it’s the word translated.
Jesus: No it’s not translated, it’s transliterated. It’s a Greek word, just spelled with English letters.
Carl: Whatever, You know what I mean.
Jesus: But do you know what “baptism” means?
Carl: Sure, it’s when a person gets put under water by the pastor, after becoming a Christian, with a whole bunch of other Christians watching.
Jesus: See, that’s why you have a question.
Carl: Why is why I have a question?
Jesus: That sounded kind of funny. Do you ever listen to yourself talk?
Carl: This is confusing.
Jesus: You got that right. You don’t even know what the Greek word “baptism” means.
Carl: I just told You what it means.
Jesus: No, that’s something you and your congregation invented it to mean.
Carl: Aren’t we supposed to get baptized?
Jesus: The Christians who speak Greek are.
Carl: So, we shouldn’t do the whole “water” thing?
Jesus: I never said that, but “water thing” would be a better term for an English speaker.
Carl: Why?
Jesus: Because it uses English words.
Carl: “Baptism” is English.
Jesus: No it isn’t, it’s Greek. Are you listening? You need to listen to me to understand me.
Carl: Okay, so, just to make You happy, what word should I use?
Jesus: What does “baptism” mean?
Carl: I just told You and You didn’t like my answer.
Jesus: You never answered. You talked about a sacrament of my Church… something that Christians do together by definition or else they really aren’t doing it. Like “fellowship.” It isn’t something you can have all by yourself or else it isn’t fellowship.
Carl: Okay, fine. Baptism… Do I need to use a dictionary!?
Jesus: That would be a good start. Just make sure you use a Greek dictionary, after all, “baptism” is a Greek word. You won’t find a meaningful definition for “baptism” in an English dictionary.
Carl: Okay, my Greek teacher had me buy a Greek dictionary. And it says that “baptism” means to “drench” or “immerse.”
Jesus: Let’s say “drench” because people on the street usually don’t say “immerse.”
Carl: You like street talk?
Jesus: The New Testament was written in slang. New Testament authors found slang “inspiring.”
Carl: So it’s okay if I use slang?
Jesus: I never wrote any grammar books—that’s people trying to understand each other.
Carl: So grammar doesn’t matter?
Jesus: Grammar, no grammar, whichever communicates the best—all depending on the moment.
Carl: But I still have to use proper grammar on my school papers?
Jesus: Only if you want your classes to be past-completed rather than continuous.
Carl: So, we are calling it “drenching” not “baptism.”
Jesus: Now you’re talking English! People can understand you… and you can understand yourself.
Carl: So, I have a question about Baptism of Your Holy Spirit.
Jesus: You mean “Drenching” of my Holy Spirit.
Carl: Okay, fine! “Drenching” of Your Holy Spirit!
Jesus: What’s your question?
Carl: I’m given the Spirit at salvation. So, why do Spirit-Focused congregations think that Baptism of Your Holy… I… I mean “Drenching” of Your Holy Spirit happens later?
Jesus: The question doesn’t make sense.
Carl: It makes perfect sense!
Jesus: Now you’re in a yes-no-yes-no argument—like a dog chasing his tail. Those go nowhere. State your reasons, please.
Carl: They think baptism…
Jesus: You mean “drenching…”
Carl: Yes, they think “drenching” and “indwelling” are different.
Jesus: And so they are.
Carl: Well, yes, when we say “drenching” instead of “baptism.”
Jesus: You mean when you speak plain English it makes more sense?
Carl: It seems to…
Jesus: Wow. Who’d a thought? English making more sense to an English speaker than talking in “Greek.”
Carl: But this is a big debate in the Church!
Jesus: You mean in my Church.
Carl: Yes, we’ve been through that.
Jesus: And…
Carl: The solution to that debate can’t be so simple can it?
Jesus: Do you think that speaking different languages was a problem at the Tower of Babylon?
Carl: Yeah it confused everyone. That’s why they called it the Tower of Babble… when people would talk i
n different languages it sounds like babble.
Jesus: Kind of like how you sound to people on the street who don’t know Greek?
Carl: But Babylon’s Tower made people spread all over the world.
Jesus: And get divided just like my Church is today.
Carl: So You are saying that the solution to the debate about Baptism…
Jesus: …you mean “Drenching.”
Carl: …so You are saying that the solution to the debate about “Drenching” of Your Holy Spirit…
Jesus: …there isn’t a debate about “Drenching of my Holy Spirit” because: first, people never call it that, and second, if they did there wouldn’t be a debate because it would make sense.
Carl: But don’t I get Your Holy Spirit living inside of me when I accept You into my heart?
Jesus: By definition. My Spirit lives inside of you from Salvation.
Carl: Don’t Pentecostals disagree?
Jesus: They’d better not. That would be a big insult to my Spirit who knows better. And many of them don’t think that way anyways.
Carl: Really? I thought they thought that…
Jesus: …because he said that she said that they said that they were told by the one guy that…
Carl: You sound like a game of “telephone.”
Jesus: I was just following your lead.
Carl: But I thought that they thought that we don’t “have” Your Holy Spirit.
Jesus: They honestly don’t think about that very much.
Carl: Huh?
Jesus: You have my Spirit dwelling inside of you. So, naturally you think about it.
Carl: Don’t they also?
Jesus: Well, yes, but they also have the “drenching” so they think about drenching more often than the indwelling.
Carl: How can I have the “indwelling” of Your Spirit without the “baptism” or.. “drenching,” as You say?
Jesus: Do you believe in Christian water baptism through dunking or sprinkling?
Carl: I’ve been to both kinds of congregations. They each have good reasons, so I really don’t care, but dunking is a lot better to me because it’s more fun.
Jesus: Okay. What about “drinking?”
Carl: Not in Church!
Jesus: No. I don’t mean alcohol. I mean “drinking” water for water baptism.
Carl: Huh? Wait… You said “baptism.” You wanted me to say “drenching.”