he goes to. That’s accountability.
Hank: Can’t they teach him how to be a better evangelist? Doesn’t he need that kind of accountability?
Paul: Telling a rock how to be a rock isn’t accountability, that would be insanity. God made the rock a rock and neither you nor I can help ensure that it does a good job of being a rock. It’s just as insane for a group of Church officers to tell a shepherd-teacher how to shepherd or to tell a prophet how to prophesy or to tell me whether or not I am an apostle. I am an apostle because God said so, not Jerusalem.
Hank: Don’t you need to listen to Jerusalem, though?
Paul: Of course. We all need to submit to each other in love, but just because someone has an opinion about what you should do doesn’t mean that person is your new boss. They can tell—say—an evangelist, what time to come and go, ask him to turn the lights off, whether to leave his shoes at the door, and make sure he obeys the Bible just like any other Christian should. But in terms of shepherd-teaching, that’s a gift from God. A plumber doesn’t ask the home owner how to fix the plumbing. He’s the expert, but he still follows the rules of the house. You need to listen to your Teacher, and there is only one of those—the Holy Spirit. Even the Good Shepherd followed the rules of each house He visited. But the home owners didn’t try to tell Jesus how to lead His disciples. Know the difference between the local house and God’s calling on your life.
Hank: How do you know the difference?
Paul: It’s not always easy knowing when an idea is your own opinion or when it’s the Lord talking to you. Just try to distinguish as best as you can and you’ll get better with time.
Hank: What should I tell others, though?
Paul: When you know it, make sure that you also tell other people whether something you say is your own opinion or if you believe it’s the Lord’s direction. This respects the fact that the Holy Spirit can lead others—and He doesn’t need to send you or me a memo to do it.
Hank: I think I can handle that. But, I have this job—this dilemma. In my heart I know that the people in my church need to go in one direction, but some of the leaders don’t want to listen and I have to choose between feeding my family and the calling in my heart. Both are important to God.
Paul: Ever think of owning a business?
Hank: Is there something wrong with getting money for working in the Church?
Paul: Not for a deacon it isn’t. But it’s hard to lead people where God calls you to if your followers are also your boss. That’s not an accountability system you’ll see in the biblical Church, it’s more of a democracy. Jesus leads a Kingdom. As a tent maker, I was in no man’s debt, except for the debt to always love. I don’t think I could have told Philemon what I told him if I had drawn a salary from the Church treasury. Philemon was a big Church donor. When someone owns your family’s bread and butter, they own your ability to speak the truth. That seems to be part of your trouble.
Hank: You’ve got good ideas, but I still don’t know what to do.
Paul: You know… I’ve got another friend I might want to introduce you to.
Scene 2: Don
Don: Let’s make this quick. I’ve got another appointment later on.
Hank: You sound busy.
Don: I’m only busy because I care about people. The next person I’m meeting claims he met Jesus while attending semitary—or seminary or whatever they call it, and he also had a run-in with a fire and ice Bapticostal. It will be an interesting meeting. It’s amazing how many Christians want your advice when you’ve proven yourself in the business world.
Hank: Well, I’ll try to be quick.
Don: Don’t be quick, be honest. If you dance around the issues we won’t have enough time. Getting stuff done in the time God gives us isn’t a matter of how fast we work—it’s about how honest we are with ourselves and with the people around us.
Hank: In seminary they always explained that administration required a lot of diplomacy.
Don: Steve Jobs wasn’t very diplomatic.
Hank: Yeah, but they fired him.
Don: He was fired by the very idea you’re trapped in. Apple went down without Steve there to be anti-diplomatic. Steve didn’t work fast… He made everyone be honest with themselves about what they could do versus what they actually were doing. That’s a big reason why he did so much in his life—he accomplished more in one, short life than our so-called “diplomacy” has accomplish in centuries.
Hank: But my professors said otherwise. They have experience, ya know.
Don: Experience? In what?
Hank: Teaching.
Don: That’s all theory. I dropped out of college after my economics professor said he didn’t have a plan for retirement. He taught about money for Pete’s sake! If he didn’t know how to retire, then what in the world was he actually going over in class?
Hank: Hmm.. I never thought about that before…
Don: That’s what he said just before I dropped out.
Hank: How did you become so successful in business if you didn’t go to college?
Don: The same way Steve Jobs and Bill Gates were successful: they dropped out of college.
Hank: That seems irresponsible. You should finish what you start.
Don: Exactly. For me, college was a detour from reality. I couldn’t waste time on truckload of theory from people whose only experience was in teaching more theory.
Hank: I don’t want to talk about this. I’d rather be more efficient with our time.
Don: If you’re going in the wrong direction it’ll take a lot longer to turn-around and go back the way you came than to pause for a moment, look at a map, and head in the right direction to begin with. The last thing you want to do is get to the top of a corporate ladder, only to find it was leaning against the wrong building.
Hank: So, were did you actually learn about business? You’re so good at it…
Don: Business is very simple, actually.
Hank: So, why do you say it can’t be taught in school?
Don: Do you suppose you could tell me what a banana tastes like?
Hank: What’s that have to do with anything?
Don: Have you ever tried to get a haircut over the phone?
Hank: Are you just trying to be silly?
Don: Me!? You’re the one who thinks everything can be explained without actually doing it. If you want a haircut, you have to actually do it, not just talk about it.
Hank: Oh, I see what you mean. It’s easier to know what a banana tastes like if I eat one rather than getting a college degree in Bananas. I mean, that’d be “bananas”, ya know.
Don: If you haven’t done it you shouldn’t teach it. Actually, it’s not that you “shouldn’t”, but that you can’t. But too many people try to teach what they haven’t done.
Hank: Like who?
Don: Do you know the difference between Bill Gates and Steve Jobs?
Hank: Well, I’m not too impressed with Microsoft…
Don: You’re impressed with one and not the other. But both of them are successful businesses. You need to know the difference between excellence and success.
Hank: But we don’t want to be dishonest…
Don: No, you don’t because if you sow dishonesty it will come back to haunt you. That’s sowing and reaping. God’s people need to understand this or else Satan’s people will own all the businesses and keep running this world into the mud.
Hank: You sound worried.
Don: Don’t think that for a second. God is up to something big. Satan won’t run things forever. Jesus will return and, when He does, I’m going to give a good account.
Hank: You mean all the money you have?
Don: No, I mean all the people I mentored, like you.
Hank: I don’t get it. Aren’t you successful in business to give a good account to God?
Don: Money doesn’t exist. It’s only valuable if you and I think it is. That’s why I pour my effort into people: The ones with the true power to make something v
aluable. God cares about people.
Hank: So, what is the secret to business?
Don: Like an old mentor always use to say, “Money talks. …the other stuff walks.”
Hank: So, work hard?
Don: Do it. Don’t talk about it all day. Get up off your bum and go out there and stick out your hand and put in the time and miles and hours and get it done. Most people work better for someone else than they work for themselves. That’s why so many people go nowhere.
Hank: I put in the work, but I don’t know the how-to of it all? I have a lot of problems in my administration. Things are falling apart and…
Don: Do you have any good mentors?
Hank: Well, my board mentors me…
Don: But do they have fruit on the tree?
Hank: Fruit?
Don: Do they have actual evidence in their lives to prove that they’ve done what they are teaching you to do?
Hank: Well, one of them attended seminary?
Don: Is your goal to keep attending seminary forever? If it is then I’d keep listening to that guy. He sounds like he’s good at it.
Hank: Hey now. That’s hard work, attending seminary.
Don: I know. You seem exhausted from it. You know what I always call that look on your face?
Hank: Analysis paralysis?
Don: It’s mental constipation…
Hank: Am I thinking too much about all my problems, then…
Don: Mental constipation.
Hank: I need to pray more.
Don: Mental constipation.
Hank: Maybe I shouldn’t have taken this job as pastor.
Don: …mental constipation…
Hank: Okay, so mentally deconstipate me already.
Don: The whole world doesn’t have enough laxative for that. We’ll try this… Have you ever heard of