“Nice to see you, too,” Anya says, not bothering to look up from her computer. I know I’m being rude. She’s not impressed by my juvenile behavior. Stomping, huffing, and puffing probably aren’t especially endearing. But I can’t help it. Nik’s words are eating at me. I wonder if I’m cutting off my nose to spite my face. If he’s the best, then why would I train with anyone else? And what about that double entendre? Even if I were interested in dating, which I’m not, where does he get off thinking he’s the best the school has to offer?
“What’s bothering you?” she asks, eyeing my tightly crossed arms. I slouch further in the chair so she can feel the full force of my petulance.
“Nothing. Everything.” I throw up my arms in frustration, but Anya remains silent. Today she’s determined to wait me out.
“It’s Nik,” I say finally.
“Nik?” She looks puzzled.
“Your brother?”
“Oh! I didn’t realize. He’s never gone by Nik. Actually, as long as I can remember, he’s never allowed anyone to call him that.” She looks thoughtful. “Did something happen in class? I didn’t realize you two were friends.”
“We aren’t. He’s been training me, but now he’s not.”
“He quit on you? That doesn’t sound like Nikolai.”
“He didn’t quit. I did. He promised it would be different, but I don’t believe him. Why should I?”
“Mmm,” she replies contemplating. She taps her pen on the desk as she thinks. It’s all I can do not to grab it out of her hand and put an end to the annoying racket. “Let me tell you something about Nikolai. When were young, before we came to Crossroads, we used to play a lot of games. Most of them were silly games that I made up to entertain him. Harmless juvenile stuff mostly. So one night when I was about your age I talked him into going out on a hike. We were forbidden to go out at night by ourselves. Nikolai wasn’t even of feeding age yet, but I dared him. He knew our parents would punish us severely if they found out, but what could he do? He wasn’t about to let his big sister outdo him. Even at a young age, he was too brave for his own good.”
She pauses, her eyes glazing over momentarily as she replays the scene in her mind. It’s clear Anya has good memories of her childhood with Nikolai. I wonder what they must have been like as children in Russia. Worry free and innocent. No pressure, no expectations. It makes me long for the safety of my own childhood.
“Anyway,” she says, shaking off the past and returning to the present. “We snuck out after our parents tucked us in for the night. No small feat, I might add, with Nikolai. He was very close to my parents then. They checked on him frequently, ever fearful their little prince would be snatched away by some insidious creature of the night. Once they were gone we climbed over the balcony outside my room. Well, I did. Nikolai just held on. I carried him most of the way. The caves were exactly 15.3 miles from our home in the suburbs of Volgograd. I knew it was risky, but I was so sure I could get us there and back before sun up. I fed heavily that evening. I drank until I thought my sides would split.”
“We made good time getting to the caves, and I was feeling good as we set about exploring. We had so much fun playing hide and seek and climbing the cave walls that we lost track of the time. When I finally thought to check my watch it was day break. I panicked,” she says unapologetically.
“I scooped Nikolai up and set out for home. I didn’t think twice about facing the rays of the sun because the prospect of my parents’ wrath was more frightening. It was mid-summer and a hot one at that. The sun had been blazing strong for weeks keeping the daily temperatures close to a hundred degrees. It was brutal. From the moment we set foot outside the protection of those caves my skin was on fire. The rashes started immediately. By the time we got close to home my body was a mess. My face was blistered and my arms and legs were bleeding freely. I didn’t know how I was going to get Nikolai home, only that I had to do it. We almost made it too. I collapsed in the woods two miles from our house.”
“He should’ve kept going. He could’ve easily gone ahead and sent help, but he wouldn’t leave me. I outweighed him by twenty pounds and he didn’t have nearly my strength, but he promised me he would get me home safely. And he did.”
“Nik carried you the rest of the way?” I ask in disbelief. “But he was just a kid.”
“I’ve never forgotten that day,” she tells me. “Nikolai is my little brother. It was my job to take care of him, to keep him out of harms’ way, and I failed. If it weren’t for his courage and determination, I might have died.”
I’m not sure what to say to this revelation. It’s definitely a side of Nik I haven’t seen yet. I remind myself that people change a lot between childhood and adulthood. Just because Nik was a brave and noble child, it doesn’t mean he’s the same person now.
“I tell you this story because while I don’t know what he promised you, Nikolai always keeps his word. I’ve never known him not to.”
“There’s a first time for everything.”
“Aren’t you just the cynic today?” she asks raising an eyebrow.
I know I shouldn’t alienate Anya. She’s sharing a little bit of herself with me, and Nik is her brother after all. It’s only natural that she’d be protective of him. I would be if our roles were reversed.
“Sorry,” I tell her reluctantly, running my hands through my knotty hair. I should’ve brushed it before I came up here. It’s a wreck from training. “Don’t mind me. I’ve been on edge all day.”
“I see. You look worn down. Are you feeding enough?” She actually looks worried, as she assesses my condition.
“I’m as well fed as any vampire here.” Should I tell her about the dreams? Aldo would probably encourage me to talk about them if he were here. Maybe he’s right. Maybe talking about them would lessen my completely irrational fear. Maybe it would be a way to take control.
“I haven’t been getting enough sleep. I’ve been having nightmares,” I say, avoiding eye contact and staring instead at the flames which writhe angrily in the fireplace.
“About White Plains?”
“Sometimes. Sometimes they’re different though. Sometimes I’m being hunted. Like an animal. I know it’s stupid, but it’s just that they’re so real.”
“We all have dreams, Katia. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. What do you think they mean?”
“I don’t know. Probably nothing.”
The only thing I know for sure is that I hate feeling powerless to control my own mind.