Read Cruel Beauty Page 21


  “Only if it looks like I’m dying,” I reminded Astraia.

  “I know!” She looked back at me, lips tight. “Do you think I’m too silly to remember, or too weak to watch?”

  I leaned forward on my hands, letting out a slow breath. “Neither,” I said. Staring at the floorboards, I could admit to myself that I was actually afraid she wouldn’t ever light the candles at all, that she would sit and watch me suffer with that hard little smile she had learnt in my absence. I supposed I couldn’t complain if she did: I’d done as much to Ignifex already, and I was planning to do far worse.

  If I was too cowardly to bear the fate I handed out, then I really would be despicable.

  We were directly under the roof, which slanted down to the floor at the far end of the room. There were no lamps up here, only Astraia’s lantern, and in its flickering light the misshapen room already looked like the start of a nightmare. Astraia settled herself by the door, lit one candle, and put out the lantern. The candle threw flickering shadows across her solemn, pale face, making it look like an alien statue. I had no doubt she would let me suffer as long as I needed to find an answer.

  I sat up straight, closing my eyes. But waiting blind was unbearable, so I opened them again; and I couldn’t bear to watch Astraia’s face, so I stared at the shadowed corners. Sitting still at last, I realized I was tired; my eyes itched and my vision wavered. Again and again, I thought I saw the shadows begin to move and terror jolted through my body; then I realized it was only the dim light and my tired eyes playing tricks. My back ached; one of my legs went numb; it seemed another part of my body was always starting to tickle or itch, but I didn’t want to roll around scratching myself in front of Astraia.

  Maybe I’d been a fool to think that wearing Ignifex’s ring would make the darkness burn me the way it did him, that the voice in the darkness would speak to me. Just because I could wield a few of his powers, did that mean I shared his nature? He had said, While you wear it, you shall stand in my place—but just because he trusted me, did that mean I shared his fate?

  The back of my neck itched again—the really horrible kind of itch that sent tingles running up and down my spine. I gave up and reached back to scratch—

  Darkness slid over my fingers.

  I jerked my hand away, but in an instant the darkness slid over my body. It wasn’t anything like the shadows from beyond the door. They had been cold, icy nothingness, while this darkness burned like acid. They had bubbled out of me, turning my own body against me; this darkness was unquestionably alien, burning into my body from the outside.

  The Children of Typhon had shredded away all meaning from the world. This darkness came to impose a meaning on me. It flowed over my body like the movement of a tongue, shaping red-hot words across my skin. But the pain was nothing beside the desperate need to respond, to speak those words back to the bodiless voice.

  Except I couldn’t understand the words. I couldn’t even repeat them, because they crawled across my body and burrowed into my ears and wept out of my eyes without leaving the least trace in my memory.

  I had never thought that I would hear the voice in the darkness and not be able to understand it.

  It’s not working, I thought, and I tried to call for Astraia, to tell her to light the candles and save me. I tried to scream. But the air in my lungs wasn’t mine to command anymore; it was speaking those same unfathomable words.

  I realized I had collapsed to the ground. Astraia stood over me, and for a moment I thought that she would save me. Then I saw that her eyes were blank holes, darkness dripping out of them like tears. Her mouth curved in a smile. I blinked, and she was gone. Maybe I’d imagined her.

  The darkness clawed into my mouth and covered my eyes. I shuddered and choked, and the world was gone.

  I saw a great marble hall, golden shafts of light falling between its red-painted pillars, and a dais covered in mosaics at the far end. It looked like the throne room of a great king, but on the dais was no throne, only a little ivory table, atop which sat a small wooden box—the same box that I had seen in the round room. Beside it stood a stern-faced woman in ancient robes, and before her a young boy sat on the floor with his back to me.

  “You have heard that when Arcadia stood alone against the barbarians, when they had landed on our shores and begun to sack our cities, your forefather Claudius sought out the Kindly Ones,” said the woman. “They are the Lords of Tricks as well as Justice, and it is said that even the gods fear them, yet he was so desperate to protect his people that he bargained with them.”

  “And they said if he brought them Pandora’s jar, they would grant him a wish. So he searched for seven days and demons killed all his companions but one and then he found it.” The boy recited the words in the monotone rhythm of bored competence. “He brought it back and the Kindly Ones saved Arcadia from the barbarians. Making him the only one that ever bargained with them and wasn’t cheated.”

  “True,” said the woman. “But more true than you know. For that is not the whole of his bargain. When Claudius brought them the jar, the Kindly Ones promised him one victory against the barbarians. But they said that they would protect Arcadia from all invaders all the days of his life, and all the days that his successors reigned, if he would agree to a further bargain: Each king of Arcadia must look into the jar. If he has a pure heart, the kind that would risk anything for Arcadia, the Children of Typhon will serve him and protect the land from any invader. But if his heart is not pure—if he loves himself more than his people, if hatred and passion rule his soul—then they will drag him down into the jar to dwell with them in the dark forever, and Arcadia will be protected no more. And if he does not dare look within the jar, they will find him just the same, and take him no matter how pure his heart.

  “Claudius agreed. He looked into the jar and his heart was pure. So Arcadia was saved from barbarians, and the island has remained unconquered to this day, for every heir of Claudius has proved worthy and cheated the Kindly Ones. And so you must prepare yourself, my prince, to face the test on your coronation day.”

  I couldn’t see the boy’s face, but I saw his spine straighten and heard the sudden tightness in his voice. “The jar is lost. Everybody knows that.”

  “Not lost.” The woman laid a hand on the little wooden box. “Hidden. It takes a new form in every age.”

  “That’s—that’s just the casket of the crown jewels.”

  “And what greater jewel can a king possess than a pure heart? Someday you will lift the lid of this box, look inside, and be judged.” She leaned down toward the boy. “Now do you understand why you must always strive to be a good prince?”

  “I never asked to be one!”

  The woman raised an eyebrow. “What difference should that make?”

  The two of them faded like smoke. A grown man strode between the pillars. It was Shade, the last prince; his hair was black instead of white, but I would know those blue eyes anywhere.

  “I don’t care!” he yelled over his shoulder. “Send them away!”

  “They are your warband.” A woman followed him into view: white-haired now but the same one who had lectured him when he was a child. “Sworn to fight at your side all their lives, even unto death. By dismissing them, you shame them forever. And this is the third warband that you have sent away. You cannot go on this way. A prince must—”

  He turned on her. “A prince must not hate, didn’t you teach me that? And I hate them. I always hate them, so they have to go.”

  “But you—”

  “Go.”

  The woman sighed and left. Alone, the prince gave the box a fearful look and covered his face with shaking hands. Then he faded into the air.

  I walked toward the table and the room melted around me, columns sliding into streams of pale light that pooled across the floor.

  Now do you understand? The voice hummed through my head without touching my ears. It was almost a woman’s voice, though with a bell-like quality t
hat was not quite human, and I knew instinctively that it was the Kindly Ones.

  A heart full of hatred and fear for his fate, desperate to live—he was always anything but pure. So he came to us and swore he’d pay any price if we’d continue to protect Arcadia from invaders and stop him from ending up in the darkness alone. The voice was on the verge of gentle laughter, like a mother speaking to her witless but endearing child. And now he’s never alone, for all Arcadia is hidden with him in the darkness, where no invader will ever find it.

  All the room had melted away now; I stood atop a glassy puddle of light, surrounded by absolute darkness, with the table and box before me.

  As within, so without.

  And I knew that the shifting, paradoxical splendor of the house was nothing compared to the paradox of the box. All Arcadia was locked inside the house and all the house was locked inside that box, along with the Children of Typhon—and the last prince, who had once been so terrified he would be trapped alone with them.

  But what was within the box-inside-the-house, the one that Ignifex had said was forbidden?

  “If I open the box,” I whispered, “will that release us?”

  You’re not the one who can open it.

  “Shade.”

  Yes. But not yet.

  “What is he waiting for? His birthday?”

  Laughter rippled through the air, the same laughter I had heard in the garden with the sparrow.

  He and your husband are bound as opposites. So long as one has power, the other is helpless. But whatever one loses, the other gains. Summon the Children of Typhon and use them to rend your husband until his power is broken. Once the prince has gathered back all he has lost, he will be able to open the box. When the box is opened, all Arcadia will go free. The Sundering will end, and the Children of Typhon will be trapped inside the box, never to ravage your people again.

  All I had to do was fulfill my vow to my sister. It was good news. I didn’t want it. I didn’t want to believe it—but Ignifex had told me that the Kindly Ones loved to tell the truth once it was too late to save anyone. And now, with my oath to Astraia still bitter on my tongue, it was much too late.

  “What happens to Shade?” I asked. “Will he be locked in the box too, the way he feared?”

  Your husband will pay that price.

  Like Pandora. There was always a sacrifice; I had known that all my life.

  I didn’t know if it was grief or rage that made my voice shake as I asked, “Is that what I learnt in the flames?”

  Mostly.

  I remembered the garden and the sparrow. When it told me to look in the pool for a way to save us, it hadn’t seemed to mean I must betray the one I loved.

  That bird cannot help you. It lives in his garden. It eats of his crumbs. Do you suppose it can save you?

  I hadn’t even considered that possibility, but now I wondered—

  It was kind to you, said the Kindly Ones. What do you think that means?

  It was exactly the same intonation as a mother saying, Darling, if you touch the stove, you get burned.

  And I knew the answer as simply as breathing. There was something wrong with the sparrow. There had to be. Because it had offered me hope, and when had there ever been any hope for me that didn’t twist into despair? My chance at love had broken Astraia’s heart. My visit home had become a vow to kill Ignifex.

  And now I was more indignant over my own sorrow than over the suffering of Shade and Astraia and Damocles, the eight dead wives and Elspeth’s brother and all Arcadia for nine hundred years. With such a selfish heart, what right did I have to expect any hope?

  What will you do now?

  The voice spoke from all around me, in my ears and in my lungs and thrumming through my bones. And I knew what I had to do.

  I struggled to speak, but my tongue felt dull and heavy; only a soft moan came out. The darkness wavered around me.

  “Yes,” I ground out, and it felt like speaking from under a mountain. “I’ll . . . do it.”

  . . . And I realized that I had awoken, and I was staring up into Astraia’s eyes as I lay with my head cradled in her lap.

  “What will you do?” asked Astraia, and she sounded almost gentle.

  My throat felt raw as I said, “What I must.”

  UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

  HarperCollins Publishers

  ..................................................................

  22

  The hallway looked just as I remembered it: the gaudy moldings, the murals of writhing figures. My footsteps echoed as I walked forward; I glanced back nervously, but Ignifex did not appear.

  It was barely dawn. He was probably still in his room, surrounded by candles. I remembered the way he huddled into my arms, sheltering from the darkness.

  You swore to Astraia. For the sake of Arcadia.

  I forced myself forward. He was the enemy. I had to stop him.

  The door too was the same: small, wooden, and filled with unimaginable horror. I laid my hand on the doorknob. Did it tremble beneath my touch?

  What if the ring did not allow me to control the Children of Typhon after all?

  You would deserve it. For what you’re planning. Ignifex had given me the ring in love and trust, and I was using it to destroy him.

  You promised, I reminded myself, and before I could hesitate any longer, I pulled the door wide open.

  Emptiness clawed at my eyes. I tried to speak, but my lips would not move. From far away in the deeps, I thought I heard the echoes of a song.

  Children of Typhon, I thought, but my tongue wouldn’t move. I sucked in a breath, clenching my fists, and then was finally able to force the words out: “Children . . . of Typhon . . . bring me Shade.”

  There was a noise like the skitter of a million little clawed feet, like the burbling of water; then the darkness parted and Shade tumbled forward. I barely caught him, staggered backward under his weight, then lowered him to the ground.

  His clothes were torn and ragged; his fingertips bled as if he had been clawing at the lid of a coffin, and blood dripped also out of his ears and nose, stark crimson against his colorless skin. All across his face and hands were the same swirling pale scars that the darkness had left upon Ignifex.

  But his breath whispered in and out. He was still alive; I could still save him and all Arcadia.

  I laid my right hand—the one that wore the ring—upon his forehead and said, “Heal,” as commandingly as I could. But nothing happened; he lay still, his breath sliding in and out in the rhythm of perfect sleep.

  “Heal,” I said again. “Wake!” But he didn’t move.

  I leaned down to his ear and whispered, “I know who you are. Come back.”

  Nothing.

  Then I remembered how my kiss had made him able to speak; I remembered also half a dozen tales, and how Ignifex had said that the Kindly Ones loved to leave clues.

  “Please wake up,” I said, and then very gently, I kissed him on the lips.

  He sighed. His eyes did not open, but the scars on his face had visibly faded. My heart beating faster, I kissed his forehead, his ears, and finally his lips again; and the skin on his face looked fresh and healed.

  I picked up his hands. One by one, I kissed his bloody fingers, trying to ignore the smell and taste of blood, and his fingers healed under my lips.

  Ignifex did this, I thought as I kissed each fingertip. Ignifex knew how he would suffer and did it to him anyway. He deserves this betrayal. If I could concentrate on just that thought, I might be strong enough.

  I kissed his palms and laid down his hands. He looked healed now, but he still had not wakened; so I leaned down and kissed his lips again.

  This time he woke with a quick, shuddering intake of breath. He stared up at me, eyes wide and dazed. As I had stared up at him when he betrayed me in the Heart of Fire.

  He had been trying to save Arcadia. I was betraying Ignifex for the same reason now.

  For a mom
ent his mouth worked soundlessly; then he said, still not quite looking at me, “Are you here . . . to punish me?”

  His voice was rough and hoarse, as if from screaming, and my stomach curled. All this time, while I had been delighting in my husband, he had been tortured by the Children of Typhon.

  “No.” I grabbed his hand. “No. You’re safe.”

  He shuddered and focused on me. “Nyx,” he gasped, and then repeated, “Are you here to punish me?”

  “I’m here,” I said unsteadily, “to save you and kill my husband.”

  He sat up slowly, wincing, and leaned against the wall. “Thank you.”

  I didn’t even try to keep the bitterness out of my voice. “I had to.”

  He met my gaze. “You know.”

  “Yes,” I said. “You’re the last prince of Arcadia. My prince. I’m going to save you, and you’re going to save us all.”

  “No,” he breathed. “You’re going to save us. I knew you would do it.” And he pulled me into a kiss.

  Despite the memory of what he had done, the kiss still rippled through my body. But more than his betrayal lay between us now. I pushed him back, my right hand flat against his chest.

  “I’m helping you,” I said, my voice low and clear. I couldn’t meet his eyes, so I stared at the ring glinting on my finger. “I chose you and Arcadia, so I will betray Ignifex. I will destroy him so that you can take back everything he stole. But I love him, not you, and I’m his wife, not yours.”

  He let out a gentle breath and took my hand. “Then collect the Children of Typhon, and let’s go find your husband.” He stood, drawing me up with him.

  I pulled free. “I never told you about needing them.”

  He looked back at me silently.

  “You knew what to do all along,” I said, my voice clenching with hopeless fury. Everyone had always known what I needed to do. I had just deluded myself that I could have a happy ending. “Why couldn’t you tell me before I fell in love?”

  “I can’t start anything.”

  “Aside from throwing me into the fire?”

  “Almost anything.” His eyes narrowed and his voice lowered in the tone of contempt I remembered. “I know and can’t act. He acts but knows nothing.”