But still, I guess it all worked out in the end, and they’re totally on board with keeping the name Holly, even though we recently discovered that she is actually a HE.
So because of all that, I’ve decided to make more of an effort to go to the beach, pitch in, and hang out with them. I mean, they were so cool about Holly, and just about everything else I’ve dumped on them, like my endless moping, silent treatment, and mood swings, that I kind of feel obligated to at least pretend like I’m having some fun (even though I’m not).
I guess I’m also starting to realize just how much I’m actually intruding on them, what a huge imposition I am. I mean, here my aunt moved all the way across the ocean to some tiny, obscure Greek island, probably for the sole purpose of getting away from everything, including my mom, my dad, my grandma, and me, only to get stuck with me for almost three months.
I mean, even though their life may be a little too ORGANIC for my tastes, a little too SLOW, LOW ON EXCITEMENT, and definitely NOTHING I’d ever choose for myself, obviously it works for them.
And just as they have it all worked out, and are firmly entrenched in their happy place, I show up, and pretty much pout, slam doors, barely talk for weeks on end, and then top it all off by dragging home a stray cat that likes to pee on the floor.
And while I’m on the subject (of Tally, not cat pee), let me just say that I’m also kind of annoyed by how my parents always used to make fun of her. I mean, okay, so she’s a little quirky, and granted she’s definitely more than a little weird in some ways, but really, what’s the big deal?
Because she’s also really nice, and generous, and understanding, and kind, not to mention how she opened her door to me when my parents closed theirs. And from the first day on she made it clear that she’s there for me if I need her, but that she’ll stay out of my way if I don’t. And the only rule of the house is that we respect each other as well as ourselves.
That’s it!
No curfew.
No chores.
No rules for the sake of having rules.
So yeah, maybe she is the opposite of my parents, but I’m beginning to think that’s not such a bad thing…
Anyway, tomorrow, Tassos is supposed to show me how to catch an octopus with my bare hands! Apparently this is quite difficult to master, even though he makes it look easy. But I’m thinking I might just stick with swimming behind and holding the bag, because I’ve gotten pretty good at that. And I’m not so sure I need to add Experienced Octopus Catcher to my resume.
Cruel Summer
July 4
So apparently the Greeks don’t celebrate the Fourth of July. And even though you’re probably thinking—duh!—let me just explain how it’s always been my favorite holiday, which means BBQs and fireworks have been such a big, important part of every single one of my summers, for as far back as I can remember, that it feels really weird (and sad) not to be celebrating it in the same way today.
Though before you go thinking I’m a completely clueless dork, let me just explain that I really do get why the Greeks don’t exactly care about our independence from the Brits. Though understanding their reasons doesn’t do much to lessen my current case of extreme homesickness. Because I can only imagine all of the awesome beach and backyard BBQs that my friends are all going to, and that I’m totally missing out on. Not to mention how I always used to buy a new bikini, flip-flops, and cover-up to wear to those parties, but after checking out the shops here, and seeing how they’re stocked with totally lame merchandise, that’s so NOT going to happen!
But still, Tally and Tassos are planning to leave work early so they can throw a big party. And, I admit, when they first told me about it, I thought they were doing it for my benefit, so of course I was all—oh, you don’t have to, blah, blah, blah. But they just laughed and explained how they do it every year as my aunt is not the only American living here (yup, there are a few other crazies as well!) so they’re going to invite a bunch of friends over to BBQ and celebrate, though they did warn me there won’t be any fireworks.
Anyway, I should probably get back and help them set up, but to anyone back home who might actually be reading this—Happy Fourth!
Colby
July 4
To: AmandaStar
From: ColbyCat
Re: 4th!
I haven’t heard from U 4ever, so I hope UR good. Also, Happy 4th. I no UR prbly going 2 the beach or a party or somethun so have fun!
E-mail me! (When U can)
~Colby
P.S. Any news on Levi? Lemme no!
Colby’s Journal for Desperate Times When Things Take an Astonishing, Surprising, Unexpected Turn for the Better
July 5
After one and a half glasses of homemade Greek wine and several test sips of ouzo on the rocks (each sip was just to make sure it was really as bad as I thought), I admit, this is probably not the best time to be writing about this, or anything else for that matter, but I’m afraid if I wait until morning then I won’t remember a thing, so here goes:
I HAD FUN.
Shocking but serious. And it’s not like I was expecting it, or even thought it was in any way remotely possible, but still, there you have it.
I mean, it’s not like I thought it would be awful or anything, and I guess there was a small part of me that was actually kind of looking forward to it, but still, it’s not like I have any friends of my own here, so I pretty much thought I’d be stuck with a bunch of adults, listening to old music and stuff.
And even though it did kind of turn out like that, I somehow managed to have fun in spite of it. And only twice (okay, maybe thrice) did I compare it unfavorably to the Fourth of July parties back home. Though that’s only because there were no fireworks—or at least not the kind you shoot into the sky!
Though there was another kind of fireworks.
The kind that explode in your chest.
And here’s why:
I MET SOMEONE.
Not so earth shattering, I know, since the only people I knew to begin with were Tally and Tassos and a few of their friends, which still left quite a few other people to meet. But in this case what I mean is, I met someone special.
Okay, I just reread that and it looks totally dorky and lame. So let me just rephrase it and say I met this really cute guy, who smiled at me from across the backyard for like two full hours before he finally came over to talk to me.
And when he did, this is what he said: “Ya’Sou, I’m Yannis.” Followed by a big smile.
So I went: “Hey, I’m Colby. Your friend almost ran me over with his Vespa.” And then I started laughing. And then, luckily, he started laughing too.
And then he said, “I saw you crying on the boat.”
Which, to be honest, was actually really embarrassing. But still, I just laughed, partly because I WAS crying on the boat so it’s not like I could go back and erase it, but mostly because he’s so unbelievably cute, and has such a nice smile, I didn’t really know what else to do.
Anyway, did I mention he was cute? Well, this is what he looks like:
1) Dark, wavy hair—almost, but not quite black, that on anyone else I would say he needs a haircut, but on him, that longish, messy look is totally smokin’.
2) Really nice tan.
3) Piercing green eyes (seriously, like, see-straight-through-to-your-soul kind of eyes).
4) Very thick eyelashes—the kind that are usually only provided courtesy of Maybelline.
5) Nice eyebrows, with the ability to raise only one (I’ve tried, but I’ve never been able to do that), which, by the way, is extremely sexy.
6) Amazingly hot bod—lean, muscled, and neither too tall nor too short, but just exactly right.
7) Nice, friendly smile with slightly crooked front teeth, which doesn’t bother me as much as I would’ve thought, since it just makes him kind of quirky and even that much cuter.
8) Decent English language skills, with a supercute, definitely sexy accent. (And even tho
ugh I realize that doesn’t exactly qualify as part of his appearance, I still think it’s worth mentioning.)
9) Um, did I mention his amazingly hot body? I did? Oh, well, I guess it’s just so amazing it’s worth mentioning twice!
Okay, so anyway, after we laughed (at my expense) we both just kind of stood there looking at each other in the most uncomfortable, awkward way. And it seemed like it dragged on forever, to the point where I actually thought I heard the small hand on my watch timing me to see just how long I could sustain an embarrassing pause—but then I was even more embarrassed when I realized it was actually the sound of my own rapidly beating heart crashing against my chest!
Seriously!
Well, kind of.
Anyway, so then these two girls who looked to be somewhere around my age, walked right up, looked at me briefly, and then turned to Yannis and said something that I totally could not understand (but that made me realize I should probably stop being so resistant to change and start trying to learn Greek, pronto).
And then he looked at me and said, “It was nice meeting you.”
And then they pulled him away. And I mean LITERALLY pulled him away, like, with one on each arm, all the way to the opposite side of the yard, which was pretty much as far from me as you could possibly get.
And even though the pulling him away part could definitely be considered the low point of the night, luckily, it didn’t end there. Because later, much later, when it was dark, and a lot of the adults were pretty tipsy from all that organic homemade wine they were drinking, Tassos put on a Greek CD and everyone started dancing. Only not the kind of dancing like I’m used to, but instead they were all holding hands and kind of like running in a circle. So I just sat there, with Holly on my lap, sipping from the small glass of ouzo Tassos gave me to try, fighting the overwhelming urge to gag and vomit (I mean, it’s seriously AWFUL), when everyone was like, “Hey Colby, come join us!”
But I just shook my head, determined to stay put since I don’t exactly know any of those dance moves, and no way was I going to risk looking like a big, clumsy dork in front of SUPERHOT YANNIS. Not to mention how those two Greek girls were totally staring at me in a way that made it pretty obvious just how much they’d LOVE to watch me do a face plant right in front of them.
But then Yannis broke away from the circle, grabbed my hand, and pulled me into the group. And even though I probably looked like a fool, it wasn’t all that long before I was too busy laughing and enjoying myself (especially the way my hand felt in his!) to even think about how dumb I appeared.
And then we pretty much danced for the rest of the night, or at least until Tassos cut the music and made everyone go home.
And even though all we did was hold hands, and even though it was only because the dance required it, the way he looked at me when he said good-bye, was (almost) as good as any kiss I’ve ever had.
Okay, well, it’s almost three now and I can barely keep my eyes open so—
Kalinichta!
(That means good night in Greek!)
Cruel Summer
July 5
Who said the Greeks don’t know how to celebrate the Fourth of July?
Certainly not me!
Granted, there were no fireworks, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t fun—and if you don’t believe me, then see for yourself:
1) That’s me eating a mongo huge piece of watermelon. I swear, the fruit here is so much sweeter than the fruit you get at home. Seriously, it tastes like a million times better, and I just can’t get enough. Oh yeah, notice the deep, dark tan I’m sporting, and the blond streaks in my hair? Believe it or not, that’s after JUST A FEW DAYS at the beach. It’s like, even the sun’s rays are sweeter here too!
2) That’s Mr. Holly Golightly, sitting on a chair, observing all the action. He can be a little aloof at times, and would rather watch than join in.
3) That’s Tassos roasting a lamb. And yes, believe it or not, they roast the whole dang thing. They eat the whole dang thing too. I’m not kidding. They eat the brains, the liver, the tongue—EVERYTHING! Nothing goes to waste. And yes, I’m well aware of how sad, not to mention how completely creepy it looks, seeing it all skinned like that, but trust me, after awhile you get pretty desensitized to that stuff. I mean, that very same morning when I opened the fridge in the shed and saw that same exact lamb all hairless, bent in half, and awkwardly shoved in there, I didn’t even scream! Though I did the first time I saw something like that. As well as the second.
4) That’s everybody dancing—Greek dancing, which is pretty much a group activity as you can see.
5) That’s me dancing!
6) That’s all!
July 6
To: NatalieZee
From: ColbyCat
Re: You’re moving?
Hey Nat,
In answer to your e-mail regarding the for sale sign you saw in my yard—let me just say that it’s all a big misunderstanding. Though I thank you for your concern.
You’re probably surprised to see me answering you back. Especially after that whole thing with Amanda and how you accused me of “selling out” so I could be “popular, shallow, and a big conforming retard.”
That IS how you put it, right Nat?
And yet, here I am, not only answering you back, but also using proper English and spelling, as I know how much you hate all of those e-mail/text message shortcuts.
Still think I’m shallow?
Anyway, you’re probably not even aware of this since we haven’t talked for months, but I’m currently in Greece, where I’m spending the summer on the island of Tinos with my aunt Tally (and no, she’s not really crazy, my parents were just joking), so I probably won’t be writing you back anytime soon, since I’m super busy going to the beach and hanging in clubs with all of the really good friends I’ve made here.
Also, you’ll never believe this but LEVI BONHAM is totally coming to visit! Seriously, I forget exactly when, but the point is that he’ll be here soon! That’s because we pretty much spent my whole last night together, so now he’s planning to get on a cruise ship so he can come see me! I guess he misses me, or something.
Anyway, thanks for the heads-up, but it’s not at all what you think. I’m DEFINITELY not moving.
Well, take care—
Colby
July 7
Dear Mom,
THE HOUSE IS FOR SALE???
Exactly how long did you think you could keep this from me? Because for your information I still have plenty of friends back home who report to me on a regular basis, one of whom informed me that THE HOUSE IS FOR SALE!
And since I know this CANNOT be happening, I’d really appreciate it if you could write me back immediately, or better yet—I’m going to call you, since we obviously have a lot to discuss.
Love,
Your soon to be homeless daughter who is SHOCKED and DISMAYED by the way her parents are gambling with her future,
Colby
July 7
Dear Dad,
It has come to my attention that my childhood home is now featuring a for sale sign on the front lawn, and I’m hoping you can shed some light on the subject.
I’ve spoken to Mom on the phone, and according to her, this is mostly your doing. She said it’s all part of the divorce settlement, because you wanted to cash in and divide the money evenly.
But here’s something you may not have considered:
WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME?
I mean, while it’s all fine and good for you to split the proceeds and move to opposite ends of the earth, did you ever STOP, take a deep breath, and ask yourself—
HEY, WHAT ABOUT COLBY?
You remember, YOUR DAUGHTER, Colby?
The one you BANISHED to Greece?
Just how might she feel about this? How might this affect HER?
Because I’m starting to think that neither you nor Mom even thought to consider me, at any time, during your hectic, illogical, decision-making process.
/> Though maybe you should have.
I mean, just because you guys decided to move on, doesn’t mean I’m in on it too. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don’t want to move on? Did you ever STOP and consider THAT?
Because, truth be told, Dad, I actually LIKE living in my comfortable home, in my nice neighborhood, that’s within walking distance to my school and all of my friends’ houses. I used to feel good, SAFE EVEN, just knowing I had two parents to come home to. Not to mention a roof over my head.
Because now, according to Mom, once the house is sold, we will no longer be able to afford to live in Orange County, and may even have to move OUT OF STATE! She even mentioned something about going to ARIZONA! And maybe you’re not aware of this, but I don’t know ANYONE in Arizona! All I know about Arizona is that it’s one hundred and twenty degrees IN THE SHADE! Which, you’ve got to admit, is not exactly a selling point.
So I strongly urge you both to reconsider, before it’s too late to reverse all the damage you’ve set in motion.
As for me, all I can do now is sit back and helplessly watch while the two of you do your very best to destroy my life as I once knew it.
Love,
Your completely depressed, but not like you care, daughter—
Colby
July 8
To: AmandaStar
From: ColbyCat
Re: I need a favor
Hey Amanda,
Um, I no U must B really busy & all since U haven’t written me back in a really long time, but I’m Idering if U could do me a favor? Next time UR driving by my house, maybe U could stop long enuff 2 remove the 4 Sale sign on my front lawn? Bcuz I’d really appreciate it.