in her life. Further, to see this clear-minded scientist embrace his logical deduction without apparent doubt amplified her loss of respect for her military service.
"That's why we can't prosecute!" she said angrily. "If I wasn't shipping out on this big boat, I would kill him!"
"He's too well protected. Don't be angry."
"It's easy for you to say that!"
"I understand your anger."
"The hell you do!" She had to resort to Twenglish to satisfy her need for emotional precision in her verbiage.
"But I do understand. You were raped. Four men."
"Three! How do you know? I never reported it!"
"Four. One only wanted to watch. Don't be angry. They're dead."
"How do you know?" she almost shouted at him, shaken by his calm assertions. Evil memories mushroomed, shaking her down to her core, provoking her, reminding her that she was a ruined woman, never to be worth the love of a good man. Was Captain Direk a good man? Why should he judge her? Why should he even be here? She stood up and moved toward him, stamping on memory mushrooms. "Why do you know?"
He backed away from her, keeping his measured distance, and said: "I killed them." The way he said it in his dead flat voice convinced her, sent a shiver up her spine. She stopped approaching him.
"You killed them?"
"There was no ethical solution to the problem. They posed a future threat to your well-being. They were a threat to other women. You were fortunate they did not kill you."
"Are you confessing to murder?" Jamie was too astonished and confused to find her way back to the question of why this Essiin captain knew she was raped.
"I don't think you want to arrest me. They were enemy."
"Enemy? What do you mean?"
"I believe you intercepted one of the enemy aboard this ship last night."
"Him? The admiral? How can you connect him to the three - four - who raped me years ago? What do you mean they are enemy?"
"They aren't Union citizens."
"But they were Navy, weren't they?"
"Yes. But they were not in the Mnro Genetic Registry. Legally there is no requirement for a Union citizen to be registered by the Mnro Clinic, but if the Clinic can't infer a relationship to any other citizen of the Union, that person is not a citizen. He is an interloper and an enemy."
"From beyond the frontier?" Jamie queried.
"Yes."
"Where we are going."
"Yes."
"But they are human beings, aren't they? Not real aliens?"
"Yes. There are an unknown number of human settlements beyond the Union frontier. And they have been there for a very long time."
"Like the Rhyans or the Essiin? A prehistoric diaspora?"
"Perhaps."
"And this mission isn't aimed at answering such questions?"
"You haven't read the Mission Statement."
"It seemed pointless, especially for us Marines."
"I agree, but not because you are Marines."
Despite Jamie's certainty that the Freedom had little chance of returning to the Union, Captain Direk's agreement still shook her. Everything about Captain Direk seemed to shake her.
"And how crazy is Demba for bringing a child on this mission?" she declared. "Wait a second! She told me the Mnro Clinic can't find anyone related to Sammy! Is Sammy an interloper?"
"You have raised a question I had not thought to pose," the captain said.
They both lapsed into momentary silence. Jamie paced away from the captain, turned, and paced back. She saw him staring at her and became irritated. She expected to have everyone stare at her and usually ignored the attention, only feeling sensitive to being ignored. This man was in her quarters and staring at her - and making her forget important questions that were not being asked or answered. There were so many questions, and Captain Direk probably knew many of the answers! If he was Aylis Mnro's son, and if Aylis Mnro and Admiral Demba were apparently close friends, and if Captain Direk was somehow aware of Jamie being raped...
"How did you know I was raped? Answer me!"
The big man almost jumped at Jamie's outburst, and he actually took a step back from her. The smallest frown pinched the space between his pale eyes. He seemed to weigh whether and what he would say, and so she knew it was important to him and important to her.
"No," he said aloud to himself. "No," he said to her. "That is a very unpleasant piece of history. I won't answer you. I hoped the news would calm your feelings but, as usual, I am inept in dealing with emotions."
Captain Direk turned toward the open doorway.
"Wait!" I sound like a little girl! she thought. Lower your voice! "What the hell is going on, Captain? Why can't you tell me?"
He remained silent although he appeared to prepare to speak. "Do you know who Admiral Demba is?" he finally asked.
"Obviously she's somebody who is a lot more important than I thought! She knows Aylis Mnro like they've been friends for a long time! No, I don't know who she is! I never heard of her until she came looking for Sammy in the gym. She was just a total surprise to me. And now I can't stop thinking about her. Who is she?"
He was quiet again and still staring at her. The silent seconds ticked away. She was well beyond the time limit where she usually lost her patience - but she couldn't dare explode. She knew he had answers she needed.
"They told you nothing," he finally said. "You know nothing. I shouldn't be here." He continued toward the doorway.
"Wait!" She did it again! Why was she reacting like this?
He reached the doorway when he paused again. He put one hand on the door frame in a way that could have expressed emotion. He seemed less Essiin, more Earthian.
"What did you expect them to tell me?" Jamie asked. She felt she was being conspired against. If she couldn't even be trusted with their damned secrets, why promote her to major?
"I've made a mistake," he said.
The captain stepped through the doorway. She rushed to him, grabbed the sleeve of his work uniform, and yanked it to make him turn to face her. He pulled loose and backed up several steps. He seemed disturbed that she had touched him.
Jamie was half angry and half frightened, because she was fully mystified. She stepped toward him, through the doorway. He stepped backward on the path through the garden. She continued to try to approach the Navy captain as he walked backward from her. When she stopped, he stopped. They stood at that same measured distance apart. The false moonlight streamed through the trees and cast pale shadows on the walk between them. Although she didn't consciously appreciate the pleasant evening, it had some effect on her perception of Captain Direk. He became even more important to her, on personal levels she didn't know still existed and couldn't define. She had discovered some place inside her that was empty because it now ached.
"Why do you know me and I don't know you?" she almost pleaded.
"I'm sorry for what we never had," he said. "And for what we may never have. For what I remember. For what you don't remember."
He faded in the moonlight until she couldn't see him. Belatedly, she rushed toward where he had stood. He was gone, impossibly vanished, as though he never existed. She could feel a bubble of air that was cooler and drier than the evening air and smelled differently, but that also vanished in the first breeze from the ship's climate control.
= = =
Admiral Demba marched through the crowded aisles of the vast shuttle docking bay where hundreds of civilians waited in queues to be processed aboard the Freedom. She didn't return salutes or pause to speak to anyone. She moved with haste and with anger on her face. Jamie saw her coming and stood to attention, fearing the worst.
"At ease," Demba ordered. "What is the count of crew?"
"Nine hundred fourteen, Admiral. We have all of them."
"And the civilians?"
"Eight thousand, three hundred two."
"How many waiting?"
"I estimate a thousand."
"Reasonably close
to our total. Close all port hatches. Nobody gets on or off from this moment onward. Pass those orders on and come with me!"
"Admiral, I don't have qualified backup for my post. What do I do with all these people?"
"I don't care what you do with them!"
"We depart ahead of schedule?"
"It may be imminent!"
Jamie turned to Aguila and issued orders. Demba marched away. She followed her, still issuing orders by shiplink.
"This isn't about the intruders or the late-addition crew we've refused?" Jamie fell into step beside the admiral.
"What intruders?"
"Sorry, Admiral, I'm a little behind in my reports. Three intruders. One was an admiral."
"On my list?"
"Yes." Jamie couldn't guess what reason caused Demba to come in person and take her away from her duties, because it obviously wasn't her security activities. Despite the tension Demba injected into the circumstance, Jamie found her mind turning again to Captain Direk. He had invaded her thoughts constantly since meeting him. She tried to stifle this behavior, knowing something important was about to happen.
Demba halted in a deserted service corridor and Jamie saw deep concern on the woman's face as she turned to her. She seemed reluctant to speak and could only reach out and touch Jamie's arm. The touch startled Jamie and made her anxious to know what it meant. It seemed too intimate and too vital.
"Admiral, what's wrong?"
Demba stared at her, as she did before, perhaps thoughtfully, but withholding something. The admiral's expression remained closed to her decryption. She had observed Demba being open with other officers, such as Captain Horss. What made Jamie different? It was rare that an admiral could be as natural as Demba could be, and she felt excluded from