abandoned her! Why had Direk also abandoned her? Why did she think he did?
"How... How did... Why did he...?" Her mind broke open, and what she saw was too bright, too illuminating, too real!
They sat in the waiting room, their admission data completed. They were an old couple, like others they saw at the Mnro Clinic. A couple. But not married. Why? They had known each other for so long, had worked together and shared danger and hardship. Why not married? Why did she think about it now? Why did they need to be married? Having a child was out of the question. After the Clinic cured their aging and pruned their memories, would they care? Would they even stay together?
They had earned a good living, prospecting in unsettled regions of space. Geology wasn't the love of her life, but... Direk was! She couldn't lose him now! They must stay together! The future would be better. They had financial resources now, even after paying the Mnro Clinic for continuity.
Continuity. That was what the Clinic called it. Not immortality. Because the brain became too plastic to keep all of its memories while the age damage was repaired. She wanted to continue, but she didn't want to lose her feelings for Direk. It had taken too many years to come to understand him and to accept him. To love him.
She looked at his age-lined face, still pale and handsome despite the injuries and near-blindness. She was thankful he couldn't see clearly how age had treated her own features. She pulled him close and kissed him.
"I love you, Jamie," he said, holding her face against his. She tried to remember when he had ever said that to her so factually, yet so intensely. It filled her old heart with warmth and made her kiss him again. He was a wonderful old man. He would be a wonderful young man.
"I'm sorry," he added.
"Why?" she asked.
"For what we never had. For what we may never have. For what I remember. For what you don't remember."
"I don't understand."
The door to the waiting room opened and a woman came forth. At first she didn't recognize her. Her own eyesight was poor. Then she didn't believe who the woman appeared to be as she came close enough to see her better. Aylis Mnro! Out of all the thousands of Mnro Clinics why would she be here?
"Is it her?" Direk asked sadly, apparently expecting...
… an unwanted future. She realized she had never really understood Direk! And loved him anyway.
Jamie shuddered and emotion twisted her face. She started to shake and a moan escaped from deep in her body. She put her hands behind her head. She swayed back and forth with her eyes closed and tears streaming down her cheeks. She struggled as a terrible sadness attacked her.
/
Zakiya tried to hold her daughter but she could not be held and could not be consoled. Eventually Jamie exhausted herself. She tried to wipe her face on her uniform sleeves but Aylis intervened with a clean towel.
"You remembered!" Aylis declared, her tone a mixture of emotions, averaging to at least strong concern. "What did you remember?"
Jamie shook her head and pushed a fist against her trembling mouth. She put a hand at each temple. "He's dead! He's dead and I loved him!" She turned and walked quickly out of the room.
Zakiya followed to the door and saw her daughter running away down the hospital corridor. Aylis stepped behind Zakiya in the doorway and peered over her shoulder.
"Somebody else loved him," Aylis said.
"He took better care of my daughter than you expected," Zakiya said.
As much as Zakiya had loved her daughter as a six-year-old, she now fell in love with the person she had become.
2-12 The Name of Her Husband
"Do you have an appointment?"
The tall figure in the night froze at the sound of these words. After a moment he stepped into the firelight inside the large camping tent.
"I'm unarmed. I've come to see Pan."
"I'm not unarmed," Fred stated. "Pan is asleep. State your business."
"Who are you?" Etrhnk asked, finding it easy to feel surprise. He had much experience of it lately. Now a sentient android!
"State your business," the android repeated.
"I bring information of interest to Pan. You're an AMI."
"I am a person, yes."
"Would you use that weapon?"
"I would."
"Will you let me talk to Pan?"
"I'll speak to him, Fred." Pan entered from the dark night into the dim light of the small fire. He completed the equilateral triangle around the light of the flame. He had heard the exchange between Fred and Admiral Etrhnk. He waited for Etrhnk to speak, seeing more in his face in the firelight than he saw in the better illumination aboard the Eclipse. The pale tiger stripes on his dark face flickered with the flames.
"I saw the evidence of a certain visitor to your city residence," the Navy commander stated.
"She didn't threaten me," Pan said. "Is that the reason you came?"
"You saw her? You survived?"
"I almost can't believe I saw what I saw," Pan answered. "And she wasn't as Captain Horss described to me. She was someone else. She was not murderous. Why are you here?"
"To tell you that Admiral Demba has successfully launched the Freedom. I should say stolen the Freedom. I asked her why. She said, 'To find my husband.' I hoped you could tell me who he is, because he must be of great importance."
"You are fascinated with Fidelity Demba," Pan said, "as I hoped you would be, to keep you from killing her. I have no way to understand your motives, but I think any other Navy Commander would have killed her immediately."
Etrhnk became more opaque to Pan at this point. He did not otherwise respond to Pan's comment. "I told you she has a daughter named Jamie," Etrhnk said.
"True. I remember her now. She was looking for my brother."
"Your brother Direk. Another surprising individual. And someone, I have discovered, who also knows about gates. I'm afraid he was seriously injured. I also know Demba's real name is Zakiya. Can you tell me the name of her husband?"
"How was Direk injured?" Pan asked, worried about a brother who had only been a problematic memory until now. "Will he recover?"
"The injury was not of my doing. He was struck by a bladed weapon that may have exploded inside him. He departed with the ship. I have no further information I can give you on his injury or prognosis. Do you remember the name of Demba's husband?"
"I wonder if you will believe me," Pan said, wondering also at Etrhnk's patient pursuit of the name of a legend.
"We've covered this topic before," Etrhnk said, almost sounding impatient.
"His name was Alexandros Gerakis."
Pan could count the seconds Etrhnk remained silent as his only quantifiable response. His demeanor remained opaque.
"How can that be?" Etrhnk finally asked.
"That is the only answer I'll give you."
"He existed."
"He still exists," Pan said, "or else Zakiya has wasted two centuries of her life waiting for his return."
"Thank you for telling me this." Etrhnk stared down at the fire. He looked up at Pan. He now appeared troubled.
"Is something wrong?" Pan asked, disturbed that he could see such a change in Etrhnk.
"Decisions have become more difficult for me lately."
"You are perhaps reconsidering my fate."
"No. I find satisfaction in knowing you remain alive."
"Why?"
"Curiosity. I might learn something more from you."
"Why this woman in a mirror didn't kill me?"
"She will, you know, despite what you may think. No, there is nothing of interest to me to be learned about The Lady."
"If you learned more from me, would that profit me?" Pan asked.
"I doubt it. Our fates are matched in brevity, I think. I would, however, be grateful not to die as ignorant as I am."
"As would I," Pan said. "As would I."
2-13 Stopping the Stampede
Several thousand of the civilians who had boarded the Freedom, along
with a few of the off-duty Navy crew, congregated on the grassy field by the lake, arriving from the village apartments in an almost spontaneous manner, perhaps instigated by a few persons who were upset beyond the fact of being "invited" by the Navy to join the voyage.
Jamie circulated among them in medium dress uniform, doing her duty as Chief of Security. She thought the uniform might impress them without the brute-force implicit in battle fatigues. Still, they were suspicious of her. So far there was no sign of an attempt to organize any kind of protest of their circumstances, or to express their fears of what lay ahead in their lives. Jamie had studied the personal data of many of these people and knew these mission recruits were very skilled and educated in a variety of technical and scientific fields, many of which did not seem to be necessary to carry out the mission's exploration objectives.
The crowd had formed small groups that discussed concerns about the mission and repeated any rumors that were interesting. She didn't hear anything that seemed pertinent to the security of the ship and passengers. She did hear her mother's name mentioned often and in a peculiar context. Jamie approached one of the larger groups whose discussion had risen to the level of heated argument. They quieted as she stepped into their midst.
"Major, do you know Admiral Demba?" a woman wearing a Navy work uniform with the rank of lieutenant commander immediately asked of her.
Wingren, her name tag said. Name tags were a concession to the civilians without Navy shiplinks. Wingren was Rhyan, with the shiny desert skin.
"Yes, but not well," Jamie replied. "What is this about?"
"This civilian says she's a singer!" Wingren declared. She referred to the erudite-looking gentleman next to her.
"I may be