“This is what you wanted, right? To be a part of his life?” Bea asked, being annoyingly practical. “Well, this has been his entire life up until you, so I’d say it’s a big, and necessary, step you guys are taking.”
“But,” I argued. “What will I wear? Do I bring something, like a potato salad? What if they all hate me? God, they’re going to hate me and think I’m terrible for Cade. Then what? Huh? He’ll drop me like a hot potato if he has to choose between me and his club.”
Like the angel she was, Amy May slid a beautiful white-chocolate cupcake under my nose while I was freaking out.
“I love you,” I managed as I shoved it into my mouth.
“You’re going to get diabetes, and your ass is going to grow as large as Texas if you keep eating cupcakes like that,” Bea said, her nose curled up.
“I work out,” I said, not caring that my mouth was full, since I knew it would annoy Bea even more.
“You need to start working out with me,” Bea replied. “Jogging after perverts three times a week isn’t going to counter your cupcake addiction.”
I swallowed and stuck out my tongue, then smiled at Amy May, who was slipping back into the kitchen before Bea started getting on her for feeding my habit.
“She’s a saint,” I said, ignoring Bea’s observations on my diet and exercise routine. “I’m going to nominate her for sainthood. Who do I write? The Pope? A Cardinal? The Vatican?”
“You’re asking the wrong woman,” Bea said with a snort. “Lesbian, remember? I’m not exactly in the know on the ins and outs of the Catholic Church.”
“Hey,” I said, her words bringing up something I’d been meaning to ask her about. “You never said how your vacation went … the proposal? We were so caught up in drinking and dancing, then dealing with that asshole in the bathroom, that I just realized that you never gave us all of the details. Was Shannon surprised?”
Bea’s face reddened, and I’d swear she looked guilty, except I’d never seen Bea look guilty about anything before in her life, so I couldn’t be positive.
“What?” I asked, my confusion apparent. Then something occurred to me. “Oh, no, honey, did she say no?”
“What? No. That’s not it.”
“Then what is it? Why are you acting weird?”
“Lila, I don’t know how to tell you this. In fact, I was hoping I’d never have to,” Bea began, and I swear, my boobs starting sweating as I thought of all of the horrible things she could possibly be getting ready to tell me.
Shit, is someone dying?
“We didn’t just get engaged, we got married.”
I stared at my friend in shock for a few seconds, then the weight of her words hit me like a ton of bricks and I stood up, my chair flying backwards as I did.
“You what?”
“Lila, I’m sorry,” Bea said, getting to her feet, her hands out in front of her. “We both are. Look, I didn’t plan it that way. I proposed, just like I told you, but then we got to talking and we figured, why not just go for it, get married on the beach while we were there…”
“I can give you three reasons why not. Me, Elena, and Elin. Make that four, Amy May. Or how about five, Carmen?”
“I know, and I would have loved to have you all there, but it was just so much easier to do it there.”
I crossed my arms, and, I’m not embarrassed to admit, threw a hissy fit.
“But we had it all planned out,” I whined again. “I was going to stand up for you, and Amy May was going to stand up for Shannon, with Elin and Elena in attendance. We were going to have dancing, and Amy May was going to make the cake. Carmen even mentioned a Taco Man that caters and puts out a helluva spread. We were going to have margaritas … I can’t believe you did this.”
“Not to sound like a jerk, Lila, but it wasn’t about you. Shannon and I went with what we were feeling in the moment, and although I’m sorry that it didn’t happen like we’d planned, I’m not sorry we did it.”
“You must have felt a little sorry, since you kept it from me until now.”
“It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you, it’s just that I didn’t want this to happen. I love you, Lila, but I knew you’d give me shit.”
“That’s fine, Beatrice, you don’t have to worry about me and my shit. I’ve got places to be anyway. I’ll see you later,” I said haughtily, and although I knew I was being an ass, I couldn’t help it. My feelings were hurt.
“Don’t be like this,” Bea pleaded as I turned for the door.
“Later, Bea,” I said, lifting a hand in a wave, but not turning around. “And tell Shannon I said congrats.”
I figured jeans, a pretty V-neck shirt from Buckle, and ankle-high boots would be a good outfit to wear to the barbecue. Casual, but cute, and not too trashy. I wanted to be comfortable, but still look hot, and we’d be riding on Cade’s motorcycle, so safety was also a concern.
When Cade came to the door and took me in slowly, his eyes lingering first on my exposed cleavage, then on my hair and face, I figured I’d done good.
“Ready?” he asked, his voice deep and low, which always caused internal shivers.
“As I’ll ever be,” I replied, my stomach a riot of nerves.
Cade grinned and leaned in, stopping to inhale deeply. I was wearing his favorite perfume.
“Don’t worry, it’s just a barbecue.”
“Right,” I said sarcastically, knowing just how important his club was to him.
“Let’s go, babe,” he urged, when I still didn’t step foot outside my door.
I gave a sharp nod and let him lead me down and out of my apartment, to where his bike waited at the curb.
Holding on tight to Cade while the bike roared beneath us was one of my favorite things, so I gave in to the moment and relaxed enough to enjoy the ride. When we stopped and parked in front of the garage where Cade worked, Custom Motorcycles and Service, the nerves came back full force.
I knew the clubhouse was around back, from the little Cade had told me. I followed behind him through the double doors and into the shop, then back through the bays where they worked on cars and restored them. Finally, we walked down a long corridor and into another large area. The place was set up like a lounge with a bar, and there were a few people scattered around.
A few were bikers, and the others were scantily clad woman. There was also an older woman behind the bar, talking and serving up beer.
“Everyone’s probably outside at the barbecue pit,” Cade said softly, causing me to jolt in surprise.
“Sorry,” I whispered, embarrassed by how freaked out I was.
Cade just chuckled.
“You’re cool,” he said, and I squeezed his hand and let me lead him out, barely noticing his chin lifts to the guys at the bar.
As we walked outside, the sun momentarily blinded me, but after a moment my eyes adjusted.
There were a lot more people than I’d imagined.
Bikers, women, and children filled the space behind the clubhouse. There was a large barbecue pit with a pavilion of sorts, which had picnic tables underneath it, shaded from the sun. There was also a large playground full of kids, and a few scattered fire pits with various chairs and logs surrounding them.
There were people everywhere.
I was caught between full-blown panic and hoping that I’d be able to blend in with the crowd.
That hope was dashed when Cade pulled me toward a large group of men and introduced me.
“This is Lila,” he said, and even in my panic, I could hear pride in his voice. He was happy to be introducing me to his brothers.
That felt amazing.
I tried to pay attention as the guys smiled and introduced themselves. Some stepped forward and shook my hand, some just nodded, and the oldest man pulled me into a big hug. They all told me their names, but seconds after I was having a hard time remembering them.
Jake, Rocky, Smitty, Big Ron, Pretty Boy, and Snape were just a few of the names that were thrown out
. It was totally overwhelming. My head was swimming as I turned my head back and forth, taking everyone in. That’s when I realized that their vests had patches on the front with their names on them.
I breathed a sigh of relief and muttered, “That makes it easier.”
“What?” Cade said, leaning down with his ear toward me.
“Oh, nothing,” I replied, my face reddening as I hoped that no one else had heard me talking to myself.
Get it together, Lila, I chided myself. This time, keeping my voice in my head.
Cade pulled me to another group, and began the introductions again. This happened three more times before we were close enough to the keg for him to ask, “Want a beer?”
“Yes,” I practically shouted, causing him to grin at me again. Warmth filled me at how happy he was, introducing me to his “family.” I felt tears welling as I realized Bea was right; this was a big step, for him and for me. He was finally letting me fully in to his life. No, I hadn’t met his family in Hawaii yet, but these people had been his family for over twenty years.
My heart pounded and my eye twitched as I took in my man in his element, proud and happy to have me on his arm, and I knew without a doubt that I was a million percent, ass over feet, in love with him.
“Are you okay?” he asked, stopping to take my face in his hands.
I figured my eyes were wide and teary, and I probably looked like I’d swallowed a sour grape.
I’d been in love before, and I’d been burned … bad. But, I trusted Cade, and I knew he was more than the best sex I’d ever had. He was the best man I’d ever met.
This wasn’t the place to tell him I was in love with him, but I could convey my feelings another way.
Reaching up, I put my hand behind his neck and fisted his ponytail in my hand, then I simultaneously pulled him toward me as I lifted up on my toes, and kissed him with everything I had.
It didn’t take long for Cade to take over, slant his head, and move his hands to gather me even closer, the thick ridge of his cock pressing deliciously against my stomach. What I’d meant to be a sweet declaration of love quickly turned into a passionate embrace, and I became vaguely aware of the whistles and catcalls surrounding us.
Cade pulled back slowly, his lips meeting mine one more time, before his hot eyes were on mine and the fog began to clear enough for me to realize we had an audience. A loud, rowdy audience, who wanted us to give more of a show.
I blushed and stepped back, then moved toward the keg and began filling a plastic cup. Once the heat left my cheeks, I turned to Cade and offered him a beer, my pulse pounding at the look of promise on his face.
I blew out a deep breath, then breathed in, trying to calm myself down for a different reason, and I pulled myself a beer.
I heard a male voice come up behind us, ribbing Cade for his public display.
“Didn’t know you had it in you, brother,” the man said, a smile apparent in his voice. “I been waitin’ years for you to find a woman who could make you forget to be tall, dark and mysterious for once.”
Cade didn’t respond, so I turned to see him shaking his head, a wry grin on his lips, then looked to see if the man was someone I’d already met, or if introductions were about to commence again.
The blood froze in my veins when my eyes locked on the man with long greasy hair and a full bushy beard.
The man from the bathroom, who we’d stopped from raping that girl. My eyes took in his vest, and I felt a ball lodge in my throat.
He was Cade’s VP.
“What’s this bitch doing here?” the man asked, his tone changing from teasing to menacing in a split second.
Cade’s body went tight, and he glared down at his VP.
I’d never seen him look like that before. It was a scary look.
“What’s that?” Cade asked, menacingly.
“This is one of those bitches I was telling you guys about. The ones at the bar who busted into the men’s bathroom after that chick conned me inside.”
Suddenly, I was thrust behind Cade’s body, and I had to peer around to try and see what was happening.
I looked up when I felt Cade’s body turn under my hands, and my body began to shake lightly when Cade turned his angry as fuck look on me.
“That true?” he spat.
“Um, technically, yes, we did go into the men’s room and confront him … but it was because we heard a woman who needed help, and I don’t appreciate us being called bitches,” I said, beginning to look around Cade to scowl at his VP again.
Cade stopped me with his hand, and his voice.
“Don’t look at him,” he ordered, and a not nice feeling began bouncing around in my gut. “Why did I not hear about this?”
“Uh,” I began, thinking back to that night and why I didn’t come home and tell Cade about our crazy night. “I was kinda distracted…”
“And later? All of the days that followed and you still didn’t say shit?”
“Well, I guess I didn’t really think about it. I mean, I didn’t intentionally not tell you, it just never came up when we were together. It wasn’t a big deal,” I said lamely, and the flash on his face told me that he did not agree.
“Not a big deal?” he seethed. “My woman and her crazy-ass friends barge in on one of my brothers in a bar and practically throw down. You don’t tell me shit, which means, what? You don’t think I need to know when you do dangerous shit, and now, that shit lands on my doorstep and I’m totally fucking blindsided?”
“Well, when you put it like that, it sounds bad,” I replied, not too happy about the crazy-ass friends comment, or the way he was making me feel right now, but not wanting to poke the bear.
“Take a walk,” Cade said suddenly, thrusting his chin toward the way we’d come in. “I need to talk to Sledge and sort shit out.”
“What?” I asked, certain that he wasn’t kicking me out, just like that.
“Take a walk, Lila,” he repeated, obviously exasperated.
“Why are you treating me like a child being sent to time out?” I argued, trying to mask my hurt feelings.
Cade’s face lowered scarily toward mine, and his tone brokered no argument.
“Walk.”
Swallowing back the sudden hot burn of tears, I swirled on my heel and walked out, keeping my head held high and my face as blank as I could manage, as humiliation filled me.
Did I really just think I was in love with that jerk?
The words I wanted to say to Cade in that moment ran in my head on a loop as I made my way through the compound, shop, and out the door.
Motherfucking jerkface, asshole, prick. How could he not even listen to my excuse? Just kicks me out and takes Sledge’s side over mine? Seriously?
I took a deep breath to try and calm myself once I reached the outside, but instead a sort of choking sound came out and the damn broke. I stood there and cried, letting out the humiliation, disappointment, and rage that Cade had managed to bring up in just a couple minutes.
“You okay, sugar?”
I lifted my head from my hands to see a tall, skinny brunette in a tight skirt and tube top standing before me, her face full of concern.
I shook my head pitifully in answer to her question.
No, I am not all right.
“You got a way home?” she asked kindly, and I realized that no, I didn’t have a way home, and started crying even harder.
“There, now, don’t you worry. Peaches will get you home,” the brunette, who I guess was named Peaches and talked about herself in the third person, put her arm around me and let me toward where the cars were parked.
I let her usher me into a beat-up old Pinto, then looked at her gratefully when she settled into the driver’s seat.
“Thanks, Peaches,” I said softly, feeling a little silly calling a grown woman Peaches, but going with it.
“Anytime, sugar. Us girls got to stick together, right?”
I just gave her a watery smile, then gave her dir
ections to Amy May’s bakery.
“You want to come in for a cupcake?” I asked when she pulled up at the curb.
“I gotta get back, but I’ll take a rain check.”
“Thanks, Peaches,” I said again, but she just nodded kindly, waited for me to get out, then pulled off and turned back toward the compound.
Noticing that Amy May had a few customers, I opted to go around back and sneak into her office, so as not to alert the whole town to my current, blotchy state.
Once inside, I belly flopped onto the couch and tucked my face into the crook of my arm, wondering how things had gone from wonderfully perfect to total fucking shit in the span of a second.
The answer was, Sledge. That motherfucker just kept turning up like a bad penny.
I smelled the frosting before I heard her steps, and knew that my best friend had seen me get dropped off, and as best friends do, understood that I’d need her ear and a cupcake.
See what I meant? Amy May was a freaking saint.
Amy May nodded, her face full of sympathy as I told her what happened in between bites of gloriously fluffy cake.
“I’m sure once you guys talk, you’ll work it all out,” Amy May assured me.
See, the thing is, Amy May loves Cade. I mean l-o-v-e loves … She loves him almost as much as her husband, Jason, does.
Jason absolutely worships Cade. I mean, I get it, Cade is one thousand percent man, and there’s a lot to look up to, but sometimes it got a little embarrassing.
Like when Jason tried to grow his beard out like Cade’s, but it came out all patchy. Or when he tried to let his hair get longer, and it ended up looking like a mullet.
I should have known that Amy May wouldn’t join me in a Cade bash fest, but would do her best to keep the peace.
“I don’t know, he was pretty much an asshole,” I replied sulkily, wishing my friend would take my side.
“Lila,” Amy May said softly, urging me to look at her. “You’ve never been happier than you are with Cade. He’s great with the kids, and he fills you up with happiness. Give him a chance to sort things out with his club, then hear him out. I’m sure you guys will be able to talk and get back on track.”