The thought surprised me, and I gazed at him openly. "I wouldn't want you to change."
The words slipped out, and I couldn't have taken them back even if I wanted to.
Luther eyes narrowed. "What?"
I started to get up, and Luther stopped me.
"What did you say?" he asked.
"Nothing," I said hastily. "I didn't say anything."
I tried once more to move, but Luther's grip on me was firm, unrelenting.
"Then say nothing again," he ordered.
I just managed not to snort. "You're not in my head anymore, Luther. You can't make me do anything."
His hand tightened on my arm. "Say it," he repeated.
His demanding voice surprised me, and I looked at him again, my eyes searching his fierce expression. What I saw in his gaze surprised me.
"I said I wouldn't want you to change," I said slowly, quietly.
Luther released me, and I rubbed my arm as he reached out and touched my hair. It was down now, and it swung against my glass-scarred cheeks. Memories of my past with Luther bombarded me. The mischievous Luther. Even Dayton had warned me away from him in her own way. Why? Because he was okay being who he was?
"You should really take your own advice, Witch," Luther said suddenly. "Quit trying so hard to change."
My eyes widened. I wasn't trying to change, was I?
Luther leaned in. "You don't have to pretend to live in the past all the time, Monroe."
I had just opened my mouth to protest when an electric shock went through my body, and it wasn't from Luther. I pushed him away and braced myself. Luther stiffened next to me, his teeth clenched.
"Whatever you do," Luther said, just as Lilith's terrifying laughter filled the living room, "fight like hell."
On the television, a laughing June Allyson was being being kissed by a gallant Van Johnson.
Chapter 23
When I was ten, I fell off a roof because I thought I could fly on a broomstick. In my own defense, I knew my mother was a witch, and we had been watching a lot of Hocus Pocus because it was almost Halloween. Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, and Sarah Jessica Parker played commercialized witches, what society liked to think witches were like, but I still thought they were kind of cool. I even went around making sucking noises around Conor and Dayton in an attempt to suck out their life forces. That lasted a day before Conor poured red kool-aid on my hair. It took a week for my hair to look blonde again. It was the only time in my life I've ever thought being an evil witch would be cool.
~Monroe's Totally Wicked Book of Shadows~
"Hello, Monroe," Lilith crooned as she entered the room.
I grabbed my head as pain exploded behind my eyes. "Ahhhhhh!"
Lilith laughed. "Hurts doesn't it?"
Beside me, Luther's hand touched my arm, and the pain lessened. It didn't go away, but it lessened. The makeshift amulet around my neck was so bright, it was blinding. Even through the fabric.
"You're becoming a nuisance, Son," Lilith said sweetly.
Luther stood. "Wonderful. Nothing makes me happier."
Lilith's eyes moved to Luther's. "I've come to take my due. You know as well as I do, you can't stop me. Her soul is mine."
Luther held his hands up. "I'm not trying to stop you, Mother. I wouldn't dream of it."
The pain in my head intensified, and I slid from the couch to the floor, my hand grabbing instinctively for the grimoire. I clutched it, my teeth grinding together.
"Come!" Lilith's voice ordered in my head, and I could feel sweat break out on my forehead as my legs started to move of their own accord. I pushed them down.
"No!"
I hadn't realized I'd said the word aloud until Lilith laughed.
"Cute," she said. "You think you can best me, Witch. I'm impressed. I think your soul is going to be the jewel in my collection."
"Come!" her voice shouted, and my arms and legs began to shake even as they moved. I fought harder, my teeth grinding painfully with each step. I was pretty sure I resembled something from a bad B-rated zombie film, but jerky was better than controlled.
The amulet began to glow so brightly, it burned.
Lilith cursed.
"That damned necklace!" she said, her body moving toward me.
It was the first time I'd really gotten a good look at the she-Demon since I'd seen her in the vision with Eta, and it terrified me. Her black hair blew around her face, an invisible wind lifting it around her head, twisting and turning the strands until it resembled angry snakes.
Her blood red lips sneered at me, her eyes gleaming, fiery jewels as she approached me, her sharp, scarlet nails lifting so quickly, I wasn't prepared for the snap as the blinds cord around my neck came apart. The shard of glass attached to it went to the floor and shattered.
I whimpered as her hand came to my face. "Come, Monroe," she ordered.
And I followed because, really, there was nothing else I could do. My vision blurred. I was in the living room one moment, and then the hall. Maybe?
I shook my head, but it didn't help.
"All is well. Be calm." Lilith's voice said in my head, and I went limp.
Once, I thought I saw Lucas step up to Luther, his face angry, but I couldn't be sure.
"Lilith!" Lucas called, but Luther placed a hand on the Angel's shoulder.
"No," Luther said, his angry red eyes on his mother. "Not yet, Angel. We bide our time."
Lilith laughed at the two of them, the sound ripping through my frame. I'm pretty sure I screamed.
And then there was crying.
NeeCee!
I fought Lilith's iron control over my mind, kicking and screaming until my lungs were on fire and my head felt like it was going to explode.
"Stop this, Witch!" Lilith ordered, and once again, I grew still.
Was this how Maggie felt before she died? Like a puppet with a ventriloquist's hand up her back, controlling her every move.
I think I said please, but it may have been a figment of my imagination.
"Monroe!" someone shouted. NeeCee.
Tears slid down my cheeks. Eternity as a puppet.
My bare feet were moving through grass now, and it was damp outside. Twigs caught at my toes, pine needles and acorns eating into my flesh, and I was tired.
"Walk!"
The order was harsh, and my feet sped up of their own accord, my teeth grinding as pain went through my soles. I was stepping on stone and dirt and pine cones.
"Please!" I begged.
This time, I was pretty sure the words came from me. I didn't slow.
"No," Lilith cackled. "We have a lot to do tonight, Monroe. Be prepared. Tonight is going to change your life forever."
Forever.
The word echoed throughout my head.
Forever.
Over and over.
Forever.
Distantly, I realized I was still holding the Ayers grimoire in my hands, my fingers pressing into it so tightly, they were leaving impressions in the cover. I waited for it to fall away from me, for Lilith's control to make me drop it. But it stayed in my arms, secure, warm. So many Ayers witches. So many of their souls trapped now by Lilith. I could almost feel them, their pain as fresh as mine.
I lifted my head. I was a witch. I was an Ayers witch! I could fight her. I could! Fight like hell, Luther had said. I almost laughed at the irony.
My vision cleared.
I was in the forest, and I was freezing. I had on my sweatshirt and blue jeans, but with my feet bare, I was a block of ice. My mother had always joked that as long as she kept my feet warm, the rest of me would follow.
I thought of her now. My mother. My teeth were chattering, my feet so cold they were painful, the throbbing so intense it made me cry. I hated crying.
"Stop!" Lilith ordered, and I froze.
We were in a clearing, and the sky above it was dark blue, not quite navy, but close. A full moon was rising
. I wasn't sure how much time had passed since Lilith had ordered me to follow her, but it was obvious by the sky, it had been a couple of hours.
"Welcome to your eternity," Lilith said, one red-clawed hand indicating the trees on the edge of the clearing.
There, tied to three different tree trunks, was Belle, Henry, and Bernice, their mouths gagged, and their eyes wide, terrified. Bernice's cheeks glistened, and I knew she was crying.
"No," I whispered.
Lilith was suddenly behind me, her breath on my neck, and my heart went to my throat.
"Oh yes, Monroe," she said, her hands guiding my head to the middle of the clearing.
I swallowed a sob. On the ground, there lay four small brown bags and a black-handled athame. I'd seen them before. They belonged to Eta.
"No," I said again.
Lilith smiled. "Oh, it's been years since I have felt this energetic about something," she said. "Just look at it all! Isn't it beautiful?"
It wasn't beautiful. It was horrible!
I wanted to cover my face with my hands, but I wasn't willing to drop the grimoire. Why? I had no idea. I was beginning to hate the book, and yet something about it wouldn't let me let it go.
Lilith noticed me clutching it, and she tapped the cover with her nails.
"So many of your family's stories. Such private moments. Tell me, Witch, do you have your own book of shadows?"
The muscles in my jaw moved as I clenched it, my eyes straight ahead.
Lilith laughed. She was doing a lot of laughing.
"Are you ready to meet your destiny?" she asked.
The anger that unfurled in my belly warmed me, and I looked at her and hoped like hell my blue eyes were shining.
"This is not my destiny."
"Oh we'll see about that," Lilith answered me.
The trees behind us stirred, the movement too strong to be the wind.
Lilith looked up. "Come to watch?" she asked.
I didn't have to look behind me to know who it was. I felt the electrical energy all the way to my toes.
"What?" Luther asked. "You of all people know how much I like front row seats. I even saved a few spots for some of your favorite people."
His words made me look up, my eyes going to the forest beyond. Luther stepped from the foliage, Lucas on his heels.
My body began to tingle, the energy familiar.
"Hello, Mother," another male voice said.
Out of the trees stepped Marcas Craig, the large, black-haired hybrid king of the Outer Levels of Hell, and with him was my best friend, Dayton Blainey. Both of their eyes glowed red.
Chapter 24
Mom used to tell me I was an obstinate child. It wasn't that I was bad, I was just stubborn. I was a boss, always ordering my three older brothers around as if they were little toy soldiers rather than big, growing young men. I was, in all actuality, a complete and utter control freak.
~Monroe's Totally Wicked Book of Shadows~
Relief, hope, and joy had just begun to fill my veins when my body was suddenly lifted into the air and slammed against a tree on the opposite side of the clearing.
"Monroe!" Dayton screamed.
I crumpled to the ground, the grimoire falling from my grip.
"Stay low!" Lilith ordered, and I went down on my stomach, my cheek against the grass.
I could just make out a group of small insects marching in front of my eyes as a tear slid down my cheek onto the soil below my face. Lilith was going to kill me. She was going to break my body until there was nothing left to put together the same way she'd done to Maggie. Even now, I could feel the blood seeping through my sweatshirt where my side had gone into the tree, the skin scraped by the bark.
"What business do you have here, Marcas?" Lilith asked.
The hybrid king said nothing at first, and I managed to roll my head just enough to make out the group opposite me. Marcas was perusing the clearing, his eyes raking the victims tied to the trees before they made their way to me.
"Monroe," a male voice said in my head.
Lilith roared, one fist lifted into the air.
"No!" she screamed, her finger pointed at Marcas. "This one is mine. You understand me? Mine! And she is mine by right. As a king of Hell, you know that."
Marcas' head lifted, his gaze going to his mother.
"Then release the ones who owe you nothing. The seer and the black-haired witch."
I took deep breaths through my nose, my side hurting so badly, I began to wonder if I'd broken a rib. My fingers dug into the damp soil.
Lilith's head rose. "The seer. He can go, but the others die."
The she-Demon's voice filled my head, and I rolled onto my back, my hands going over my ears as I screamed. It wasn't a natural scream. I knew it before it even exited my mouth. It was a desperate one, the kind you find yourself wanting to scream in the middle of a nightmare right before you freeze. Only I didn't freeze, I screamed, and I fought, my side on fire as I dug my fingers and toes into the ground.
Her voice entered my head again, and I sobbed as I found myself getting onto my knees, my body propelling itself forward slowly. And I fought, digging my toes and fingers into the ground with each forward creep until the pads of my fingers began to bleed, and my toes began to cramp.
And still her words persisted. Awful, horrible words.
"Stop this!" I heard Dayton yell.
Lilith laughed. I was getting really, really sick of her laugh.
"Your lover here may not have told you, dear, but he can't stop me. When a Demon is summoned, sacrifices must be met."
"Luther!" Dayton begged.
Nothing. No sound. No protests.
My gaze went to Luther's as I crawled, his steady, confident face completely unreadable. But his eyes, they said so many things he was never willing to say.
"Whatever you do," he'd told me at Henry's house. "Fight like hell."
I was fighting! Couldn't they all see that? I fought even as I crawled, my fingers so raw now, they'd gone numb.
And still I crawled until I was in the center of the clearing, my eyes locked on Eta's athame. I reached for it, sobs racking my body.
"Please," I said, my gaze going to NeeCee where she was tied to the tree. NeeCee shook her head, her eyes wide as my hand closed over the athame's handle.
I sobbed.
I sobbed, and I cursed.
I cursed Eta. I cursed myself. I cursed Lilith, and I cursed everyone in the clearing for not saving me. Once more, my eyes went to Luther. He said he'd fight his mother, so why didn't he?
A million thoughts bombarded me, like a broken image from a damaged reel of old film. Even as I stood, even as I began to open the brown bags at my feet, I wanted to laugh. Even my thoughts were like old black and white movies. Lucas' voice was in my head. "Your family sold a soul to Lilith by summoning her. Whatever soul she pleases. It means that by helping you, all of us are breaking the rules. It means that right now, as much as we all hate to admit it, Luther is your best chance."
I stood. There was no need to cleanse the circle. Nothing positive was going to happen here, so I marched instead, drawing a circle in the soil with the tip of Eta's athame.
Bernice whimpered against her gag, and my vision blurred once more with tears.
To the middle of the Circle, I moved, plunging the athame into the ground as I lifted the four pouches.
Out of one brown bag, I lifted two bound feathers.
Again, my body moved, lowering the feathers into one quarter of the Circle. Air. The feathers represented air.
"Oh, Monroe," Dayton breathed.
I barely heard her over Lilith's whispered demands.
"Please," I begged.
Lilith laughed.
Lucas' words echoed. "It means that right now, as much as we all hate to admit it, Luther is your best chance."
Luther.
I looked up again, my eyes finding his as my body moved once more to
the Circle's center. Another bag. In this one, rock salt. Earth. The salt represented Earth.
Another quarter of the Circle, the salt sprinkled, my body once more in the center. And all Luther did was stare, his face still unreadable. The heat of tears against my cheeks was getting old.
I closed my eyes. What was the point in looking when my body wasn't even my own any more. Another bag. A bowl.
I kept my eyes shut. I knew this bowl. It was the same one Eta has used to represent water. And as I lowered this into yet another of the Circle's quarters, I felt my heart grow cold.
"No!"
This time when I felt my body start to return to the center of the Circle, I threw myself on the ground, my fingers once more in the soil.
"Oh no, Monroe! You can't stop now," Lilith's gleeful voice said in my head. My arms and legs shook, and I screamed again. I screamed until my throat was raw and my voice was hoarse.
Lilith laughed.
"Please!" I heard Dayton beg.
No one else said anything.
And as my body was dragged by Lilith's power once more to the center of the Circle, more thoughts plagued me. "It means that right now, as much as we all hate to admit it, Luther is your best chance," Lucas had said.
My hands closed over the final brown bag.
"Tell my son this is a war even he can't win. Thorns are only good if they come attached to a rose," Lilith's voice echoed.
In my palm, there fell a fire opal. It wasn't a flame, but the jewel represented the element of fire all the same. Fire. Luther. "Tell my son this is a war even he can't win. Thorns are only good if they come attached to a rose." The fire opal fell to the final quarter of the Circle.
For the last time, I returned to the center, my hand going to the athame's black handle. My fingers wrapped around it, and I pulled it from the soil.
There was screaming and when I looked up, I saw that Bernice had come untied, her body dragged by some invisible force toward the Circle, lifting so it would leave the Circle's boundary untouched before she landed at my feet.