You don't object, do you, to playing the part of a composite family?
And now, shall I tell you about my vacation, or are you only interestedin my education as such? I hope you appreciate the delicate shade ofmeaning in 'as such'. It is the latest addition to my vocabulary.
The girl from Texas is named Leonora Fenton. (Almost as funny asJerusha, isn't it?) I like her, but not so much as Sallie McBride; Ishall never like any one so much as Sallie--except you. I must alwayslike you the best of all, because you're my whole family rolled intoone. Leonora and I and two Sophomores have walked 'cross country everypleasant day and explored the whole neighbourhood, dressed in shortskirts and knit jackets and caps, and carrying shiny sticks to whackthings with. Once we walked into town--four miles--and stopped at arestaurant where the college girls go for dinner. Broiled lobster (35cents), and for dessert, buckwheat cakes and maple syrup (15 cents).Nourishing and cheap.
It was such a lark! Especially for me, because it was so awfullydifferent from the asylum--I feel like an escaped convict every time Ileave the campus. Before I thought, I started to tell the others whatan experience I was having. The cat was almost out of the bag when Igrabbed it by its tail and pulled it back. It's awfully hard for menot to tell everything I know. I'm a very confiding soul by nature; ifI didn't have you to tell things to, I'd burst.
We had a molasses candy pull last Friday evening, given by the housematron of Fergussen to the left-behinds in the other halls. There weretwenty-two of us altogether, Freshmen and Sophomores and juniors andSeniors all united in amicable accord. The kitchen is huge, withcopper pots and kettles hanging in rows on the stone wall--the littlestcasserole among them about the size of a wash boiler. Four hundredgirls live in Fergussen. The chef, in a white cap and apron, fetchedout twenty-two other white caps and aprons--I can't imagine where hegot so many--and we all turned ourselves into cooks.
It was great fun, though I have seen better candy. When it was finallyfinished, and ourselves and the kitchen and the door-knobs allthoroughly sticky, we organized a procession and still in our caps andaprons, each carrying a big fork or spoon or frying pan, we marchedthrough the empty corridors to the officers' parlour, wherehalf-a-dozen professors and instructors were passing a tranquilevening. We serenaded them with college songs and offeredrefreshments. They accepted politely but dubiously. We left themsucking chunks of molasses candy, sticky and speechless.
So you see, Daddy, my education progresses!
Don't you really think that I ought to be an artist instead of anauthor?
Vacation will be over in two days and I shall be glad to see the girlsagain. My tower is just a trifle lonely; when nine people occupy ahouse that was built for four hundred, they do rattle around a bit.
Eleven pages--poor Daddy, you must be tired! I meant this to be just ashort little thank-you note--but when I get started I seem to have aready pen.
Goodbye, and thank you for thinking of me--I should be perfectly happyexcept for one little threatening cloud on the horizon. Examinationscome in February.
Yours with love, Judy
PS. Maybe it isn't proper to send love? If it isn't, please excuse.But I must love somebody and there's only you and Mrs. Lippett tochoose between, so you see--you'll HAVE to put up with it, Daddy dear,because I can't love her.
On the Eve
Dear Daddy-Long-Legs,
You should see the way this college is studying! We've forgotten weever had a vacation. Fifty-seven irregular verbs have I introduced tomy brain in the past four days--I'm only hoping they'll stay till afterexaminations.
Some of the girls sell their text-books when they're through with them,but I intend to keep mine. Then after I've graduated I shall have mywhole education in a row in the bookcase, and when I need to use anydetail, I can turn to it without the slightest hesitation. So mucheasier and more accurate than trying to keep it in your head.
Julia Pendleton dropped in this evening to pay a social call, andstayed a solid hour. She got started on the subject of family, and ICOULDN'T switch her off. She wanted to know what my mother's maidenname was--did you ever hear such an impertinent question to ask of aperson from a foundling asylum? I didn't have the courage to say Ididn't know, so I just miserably plumped on the first name I couldthink of, and that was Montgomery. Then she wanted to know whether Ibelonged to the Massachusetts Montgomerys or the Virginia Montgomerys.
Her mother was a Rutherford. The family came over in the ark, and wereconnected by marriage with Henry the VIII. On her father's side theydate back further than Adam. On the topmost branches of her familytree there's a superior breed of monkeys with very fine silky hair andextra long tails.
I meant to write you a nice, cheerful, entertaining letter tonight, butI'm too sleepy--and scared. The Freshman's lot is not a happy one.
Yours, about to be examined, Judy Abbott
Sunday
Dearest Daddy-Long-Legs,
I have some awful, awful, awful news to tell you, but I won't beginwith it; I'll try to get you in a good humour first.
Jerusha Abbott has commenced to be an author. A poem entitled, 'Frommy Tower', appears in the February Monthly--on the first page, which isa very great honour for a Freshman. My English instructor stopped meon the way out from chapel last night, and said it was a charming pieceof work except for the sixth line, which had too many feet. I willsend you a copy in case you care to read it.
Let me see if I can't think of something else pleasant-- Oh, yes! I'mlearning to skate, and can glide about quite respectably all by myself.Also I've learned how to slide down a rope from the roof of thegymnasium, and I can vault a bar three feet and six inches high--I hopeshortly to pull up to four feet.
We had a very inspiring sermon this morning preached by the Bishop ofAlabama. His text was: 'Judge not that ye be not judged.' It wasabout the necessity of overlooking mistakes in others, and notdiscouraging people by harsh judgments. I wish you might have heard it.
This is the sunniest, most blinding winter afternoon, with iciclesdripping from the fir trees and all the world bending under a weight ofsnow--except me, and I'm bending under a weight of sorrow.
Now for the news--courage, Judy!--you must tell.
Are you SURELY in a good humour? I failed in mathematics and Latinprose. I am tutoring in them, and will take another examination nextmonth. I'm sorry if you're disappointed, but otherwise I don't care abit because I've learned such a lot of things not mentioned in thecatalogue. I've read seventeen novels and bushels of poetry--reallynecessary novels like Vanity Fair and Richard Feverel and Alice inWonderland. Also Emerson's Essays and Lockhart's Life of Scott and thefirst volume of Gibbon's Roman Empire and half of Benvenuto Cellini'sLife--wasn't he entertaining? He used to saunter out and casually killa man before breakfast.
So you see, Daddy, I'm much more intelligent than if I'd just stuck toLatin. Will you forgive me this once if I promise never to fail again?
Yours in sackcloth, Judy
Dear Daddy-Long-Legs,
This is an extra letter in the middle of the month because I'm ratherlonely tonight. It's awfully stormy. All the lights are out on thecampus, but I drank black coffee and I can't go to sleep.
I had a supper party this evening consisting of Sallie and Julia andLeonora Fenton--and sardines and toasted muffins and salad and fudgeand coffee. Julia said she'd had a good time, but Sallie stayed tohelp wash the dishes.
I might, very usefully, put some time on Latin tonight but, there's nodoubt about it, I'm a very languid Latin scholar. We've finished Livyand De Senectute and are now engaged with De Amicitia (pronounced DamnIcitia).
Should you mind, just for a little while, p
retending you are mygrandmother? Sallie has one and Julia and Leonora each two, and theywere all comparing them tonight. I can't think of anything I'd ratherhave; it's such a respectable relationship. So, if you really don'tobject--When I went into town yesterday, I saw the sweetest cap ofCluny lace trimmed with lavender ribbon. I am going to make you apresent of it on your eighty-third birthday.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
That's the clock in the chapel tower striking twelve. I believe I amsleepy after all.
Good night, Granny. I love you dearly. Judy
The Ides of March
Dear D.-L.-L.,
I am studying Latin prose composition. I have been studying it. Ishall be studying it. I shall be about to have been studying it. Myre-examination comes the 7th hour next Tuesday, and I am going to passor BUST. So you may expect to hear from me next, whole and happy andfree from conditions, or in fragments.
I will write a respectable letter when it's over. Tonight I have apressing engagement with the Ablative Absolute.
Yours--in evident haste J. A.
26th March
Mr. D.-L.-L. Smith,
SIR: You never answer any questions; you never show the slightestinterest in anything I do. You are probably the horridest one of allthose horrid Trustees, and the reason you are educating me is, notbecause you care a bit about me, but from a sense of Duty.
I don't know a single thing about you. I don't even know your name.It is very uninspiring writing to a Thing. I haven't a doubt but thatyou throw my letters into the waste-basket without reading them.Hereafter I shall write only about work.
My re-examinations in Latin and geometry came last week. I passed themboth and am now free from conditions.
Yours truly, Jerusha Abbott
2nd April
Dear Daddy-Long-Legs,
I am a BEAST.
Please forget about that dreadful letter I sent you last week--I wasfeeling terribly lonely and miserable and sore-throaty the night Iwrote. I didn't know it, but I was just sickening for tonsillitis andgrippe and lots of things mixed. I'm in the infirmary now, and havebeen here for six days; this is the first time they would let me sit upand have a pen and paper. The head nurse is very bossy. But I've beenthinking about it all the time and I shan't get well until you forgiveme.
Here is a picture of the way I look, with a bandage tied around my headin rabbit's ears.
Doesn't that arouse your sympathy? I am having sublingual glandswelling. And I've been studying physiology all the year without everhearing of sublingual glands. How futile a thing is education!
I can't write any more; I get rather shaky when I sit up too long.Please forgive me for being impertinent and ungrateful. I was badlybrought up.
Yours with love, Judy Abbott
THE INFIRMARY 4th April
Dearest Daddy-Long-Legs,
Yesterday evening just towards dark, when I was sitting up in bedlooking out at the rain and feeling awfully bored with life in a greatinstitution, the nurse appeared with a long white box addressed to me,and filled with the LOVELIEST pink rosebuds. And much nicer still, itcontained a card with a very polite message written in a funny littleuphill back hand (but one which shows a great deal of character). Thankyou, Daddy, a thousand times. Your flowers make the first real, truepresent I ever received in my life. If you want to know what a baby Iam I lay down and cried because I was so happy.
Now that I am sure you read my letters, I'll make them much moreinteresting, so they'll be worth keeping in a safe with red tape aroundthem--only please take out that dreadful one and burn it up. I'd hateto think that you ever read it over.
Thank you for making a very sick, cross, miserable Freshman cheerful.Probably you have lots of loving family and friends, and you don't knowwhat it feels like to be alone. But I do.
Goodbye--I'll promise never to be horrid again, because now I knowyou're a real person; also I'll promise never to bother you with anymore questions.
Do you still hate girls?
Yours for ever, Judy
8th hour, Monday
Dear Daddy-Long-Legs,
I hope you aren't the Trustee who sat on the toad? It went off--I wastold--with quite a pop, so probably he was a fatter Trustee.
Do you remember the little dugout places with gratings over them by thelaundry windows in the John Grier Home? Every spring when the hoptoadseason opened we used to form a collection of toads and keep them inthose window holes; and occasionally they would spill over into thelaundry, causing a very pleasurable commotion on wash days. We wereseverely punished for our activities in this direction, but in spite ofall discouragement the toads would collect.
And one day--well, I won't bore you with particulars--but somehow, oneof the fattest, biggest, JUCIEST toads got into one of those bigleather arm chairs in the Trustees' room, and that afternoon at theTrustees' meeting--But I dare say you were there and recall the rest?
Looking back dispassionately after a period of time, I will say thatpunishment was merited, and--if I remember rightly--adequate.
I don't know why I am in such a reminiscent mood except that spring andthe reappearance of toads always awakens the old acquisitive instinct.The only thing that keeps me from starting a collection is the factthat no rule exists against it.
After chapel, Thursday
What do you think is my favourite book? Just now, I mean; I changeevery three days. Wuthering Heights. Emily Bronte was quite youngwhen she wrote it, and had never been outside of Haworth churchyard.She had never known any men in her life; how COULD she imagine a manlike Heathcliffe?
I couldn't do it, and I'm quite young and never outside the John GrierAsylum--I've had every chance in the world. Sometimes a dreadful fearcomes over me that I'm not a genius. Will you be awfully disappointed,Daddy, if I don't turn out to be a great author? In the spring wheneverything is so beautiful and green and budding, I feel like turningmy back on lessons, and running away to play with the weather. Thereare such lots of adventures out in the fields! It's much moreentertaining to live books than to write them.
Ow ! ! ! ! ! !
That was a shriek which brought Sallie and Julia and (for a disgustedmoment) the Senior from across the hall. It was caused by a centipedelike this: only worse. Just as I had finished the last sentence andwas thinking what to say next--plump!--it fell off the ceiling andlanded at my side. I tipped two cups off the tea table in trying toget away. Sallie whacked it with the back of my hair brush--which Ishall never be able to use again--and killed the front end, but therear fifty feet ran under the bureau and escaped.
This dormitory, owing to its age and ivy-covered walls, is full ofcentipedes. They are dreadful creatures. I'd rather find a tigerunder the bed.
Friday, 9.30 p.m.
Such a lot of troubles! I didn't hear the rising bell this morning,then I broke my shoestring while I was hurrying to dress and dropped mycollar button down my neck. I was late for breakfast and also forfirst-hour recitation. I forgot to take any blotting paper and myfountain pen leaked. In trigonometry the Professor and I had adisagreement touching a little matter of logarithms. On looking it up,I find that she was right. We had mutton stew and pie-plant forlunch--hate 'em both; they taste like the asylum. The post brought menothing but bills (though I must say that I never do get anything else;my family are not the kind that write).
In English class thisafternoon we had an unexpected written lesson. This was it:
I asked no other thing, No other was denied. I offered Being for it; The mighty merchant smiled.
Brazil? He twirled a button Without a glance my way: But, madam, is there nothing else That we can show today?
That is a poem. I don't know who wrote it or what it means. It wassimply printed out on the blackboard when we arrived and we wereordered to comment upon it. When I read the first verse I thought Ihad an idea--The Mighty Merchant was a divinity who distributesblessings in return for virtuous deeds--but when I got to the secondverse and found him twirling a button, it seemed a blasphemoussupposition, and I hastily changed my mind. The rest of the class wasin the same predicament; and there we sat for three-quarters of an hourwith blank paper and equally blank minds. Getting an education is anawfully wearing process!
But this didn't end the day. There's worse to come.
It rained so we couldn't play golf, but had to go to gymnasium instead.The girl next to me banged my elbow with an Indian club. I got home tofind that the box with my new blue spring dress had come, and the skirtwas so tight that I couldn't sit down. Friday is sweeping day, and themaid had mixed all the papers on my desk. We had tombstone for dessert(milk and gelatin flavoured with vanilla). We were kept in chapeltwenty minutes later than usual to listen to a speech about womanlywomen. And then--just as I was settling down with a sigh ofwell-earned relief to The Portrait of a Lady, a girl named Ackerly, adough-faced, deadly, unintermittently stupid girl, who sits next to mein Latin because her name begins with A (I wish Mrs. Lippett had namedme Zabriski), came to ask if Monday's lesson commenced at paragraph 69or 70, and stayed ONE HOUR. She has just gone.