wishes for me to be
someone who I
can’t be.
It’s hell being all alone.
SHADOW OVER THE MOON
I awakened in the chilly, somber morning.
I am disheartened.
My recollection of yesterday
weighs heavily on my conscious.
How can I get by?
I gradually walked through the day,
nothing much to say.
My heart has grown bitter.
My love is no longer defined.
How can it be?
I told you last night.
There’s no more I can do.
My soul has perished.
I cannot exist.
The days go by a blur.
My words are only a whisper.
Beneath the darkened moon,
I will be departing soon.
Think of me when it’s light.
Think of me tonight.
Can you forgive me?
WHAT CAN I SAY
What can I say,
it may be to soon.
What can I do,
It’s almost a full moon.
It took me so long to realize,
I can’t take any more lies.
Our time is gone,
it won’t be long.
My love will always last,
or is it in the past.
Has it gone away,
can it last another day?
Will you still be here for me,
or is it me who cannot see.
The love we had together,
I thought would last now and forever.
Please, no more of your lies,
no more problems will arise.
We can make it far,
I hoped, I wished on a star.
Maybe we should depart,
you won’t break my heart.
I have no more fear,
please, hold me near.
It is now a full moon,
now the time is soon.
I know it was all a lie,
now is the time we all
shall die.
Goodbye!
YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME
You say you love me,
but what can I say
you tell me lies anyway.
You say you care,
but should I dare
when it’s so rare.
You say you need me,
but do you?
Can’t you see?
I love you.
I care.
What is the use?
I have so much to lose?
HOW CAN IT BE
How can it be,
when all I want
is to be free.
There’s nothing I can do,
to keep me from
loving you.
How can it be,
my life is in hell.
No one to care,
no need to live.
How can it be,
loving no one
will make me strong.
I have no more love
that I can give out.
Love is not real,
I cannot feel.
ROSE
Spring, the rose turns golden.
Summer, the rose turns scarlet.
Fall, the rose turns ashen.
Winter, the rose turns ebony.
The roses beauty is stunning
in spring and summer.
The rose is dismal
when fall and winter come.
The rose never lives long.
It turns from a tender-hearted color
into an unfriendly color.
We want the rose to remain,
but when the final rose of fall
turns black,
love will never come back.
THE WANDERING GYPSY
The wandering gypsy
travels into every country
to find peace and love
throughout the land.
He never finds it.
He will search till his dying day.
He will die alone,
with love in his heart,
the wandering gypsy.
A SPECIAL BOND
The nights are cold and
lonely.
The day's roll by, a blur.
Alone again tonight.
How can I get by?
Whenever I see you,
I cry.
Alone in my heart,
alone in my mind.
Our need will hold on,
for now it is gone.
I love you,
I miss you.
We have a special bond
that holds us together
for all of time to come.
THE FLOWERS OF PARADISE
The flowers of paradise
slowly sway in the wind.
My heart beats with sin.
My love’s head slowly turns away.
I reach out to him
with love so strong it aches.
He slowly walks away,
without a word to say.
LONELINESS
A heart that once loved,
left a hollow place
deep within.
A love that was real,
was only a lie.
I’m feeling so alone,
with an empty heart.
Those sparkle in my eyes,
has gone and left.
Only a dull aching,
is all that’s left.
How does the lonely
people survive?
When it feels so
lonely inside.
BROKEN PROMISES, SHATTERED DREAMS
Promises made in the dark
between passions that never cease.
All is lost
never to be found.
All are broken promises.
Friends when we met,
lovers from then after.
Now we are apart.
Pain fills my heart
lost in this universe.
Dreams of love filled my heart,
love between you and I.
Remorse for what I had done.
Dreams are lost
never again to be remembered.
All are shattered dreams.
TELL ME YOU LOVE ME
You tell me you love me,
but how can I believe.
I’m to blind to see,
what you really mean.
Love can be cruel,
If you been used.
I try to forget,
the love I had.
Tell me the truth,
do you love me
or is there someone new.
I want to know,
no more lies need
to be told.
DARKNESS WITHOUT LIGHT
Why does everyone lie
about love?
Lies, everyone lies.
How can anyone hurt the
one they love?
Love, no one really loves.
Love is a lie.
It has no truth,
there is no faith,
only lies.
Darkness without light.
HOW CAN LOVE
How can love be so blind,
no one can find the time
to be kind.
People make haste,
to say love is a waste.
The light will soon die,
it was all a lie.
How can I be so blind,
to stop looking for something
I can’t find.
How can love be so blind.
TOO LATE
What happened that night, long ago?
Did it happen then? I don’t know.
It just happened.
Now that I realize it,
is it too late?
You were there all along.
Was I that blind?
I s
tarted with him
always ending with you.
Now that I realize,
is it too late?
What can I do? I can’t tell you.
It was always someone new,
but it was always you.
I’m lost. It can’t be true.
Now that I realize,
is it too late?
If only I knew, the way you felt.
Will my dream ever be?
I’ll never know.
I’m afraid to let it show.
Now I realize, I love you.
It is too late!
GOOD-BYE TO YOU
I just thought to tell you good-bye
it did not work out.
Life is just not worth the sorrow.
I am afraid to love you
so afraid to care.
I will never love again.
It is time for the pain to end.
Good-bye to you.
ALONE ON A HILL
There once was a baby named Josephine, born in a destitute part of France. Her father was out of work and her mother was a sick woman, they were very poor. Josephine had tuberculosis, and her face was deformed consequently from a birth defect. They had no money to treat it, so they prayed continuously. Josephine had twin brothers named Jeff and Ryan; both had blonde hair and blue eyes. They were handsome and smart boys. Josephine’s mother was a frail, pretty woman and her father was a man of muscles.
The time had come for Josephine to go to school; she was worried how the other children would react to her deformity. The first day went horribly wrong, the other children made fun of her; even her brothers were mean. Every night she cried, and her mother was always there to hold and comfort her. Josephine loved her so much, and her mother loved her too.
At school one day, her brother, Jeff, came up to Josephine with some of his friends. He called her a freak and everyone joined in. Josephine was getting upset. As they taunted her, Josephine found a thick stick. She put her small fingers around the wood and ran them against the splintery limb.
Her brother said something, which put Josephine over the edge; in a flash, she hit her brother, repeatedly. The teacher glanced out the window; she ran out the school door, dragged Josephine off her bloody brother and pushed her into the schoolroom. Then she ran outside to take care of Jeff.
Later the teacher came back into the school carrying a whip, and began to whip Josephine. Her parents came and Josephine told them her side of the story. Her father did not believe it, but her mother did.
At home, Josephine’s father never spoke to her for hurting his poor, defenseless son. Jeff had a broken nose and lost some teeth from the incident. Everyone at the school said Josephine looked sick, so Jeff went over to see if she was all right; then Josephine just started to hit him.
One night Josephine looked into the mirror. She saw a small, young girl looking back at her, long brown hair in braids on each side of her face. Her face looked bloated, her mouth lopsided and her eyes were different sizes. She did not like the girl that reflected back. Suddenly she felt strange and dizzy, her vision began to darken, and Josephine fainted.
Jeff found her, picked her up, put her into bed and called his mom. Josephine was sick, the doctor said she needed medical attention or she would die.
Josephine’s father did not have the money, so Josephine could not get help she so desperately needed. Everyone cared for Josephine when she was sick. When she was well, the cruelty began again. Josephine decided that it would be better if she were sick all the time. She wanted people to like her, so Josephine decided to be sick all the time.
She found her mother’s pills and took them all and fell to the floor, vomiting. Ryan found her and called for his mom. “Pray,” her mother began, “we shall pray for her.”
Josephine did get better, but it took time and her father took her out of school. One awful day Josephine had a relapse and Jeff carried her to the couch. Her mom said, “We will pray.”
“That’s all we do, it don’t work so why bother with her, she’s not going to get better, she’s better off dead,” her father said, turned and left the room.
On April 12, 1948, the day she was born twelve years ago, Josephine died. Her father buried her on a hill, under the clear blue sky. The day was unusually hot and the flowers were bright and colorful. Everyone cried; they were sorry for being mean to someone as sweet as she was, it was now too late for them to care. Therefore, Josephine lay to rest on a lonely hill, but it does not matter, she was always alone.
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CHAPTER THREE
HOPE
SAW THE LIGHT
It’s another day,
I have been saved.
Opened my eyes,
the light appeared.
Thought it was the end,
it’s a new beginning.
The light was always dark,
a second chance has come.
Saw the brightness,
as I lived in a fantasy.
Now I live in reality,
problems do arise.
I was blinded by,
what I was doing.
Was slowly dying,
living out this lie.
Wish I knew why.
I learned a lesson,
never give up on a passion.
Stay with your dreams,
live in reality.
You will too see,
the light appear.
WHY ME?
Looking back,
our love was lost.
Nothing I could do,
to make things work
between you and me.
And then,
he came into my life.
Love had grown inside.
My life is on track again.
But now,
you have come back.
you have changed,
you want me back.
Why me,
now I can’t live without you.
I want you near me,
what can I do?
DO NOT GO AWAY
Our love was strong,
now it’s gone away.
We had our fights,
but we always held on.
Do not go away!
This may be our last night,
let’s spend it together.
Our love cannot die,
let’s hold on tight.
Please, do not go away now!
WHEN OUR EYES MET
When our eyes met,
I knew my heart was set.
Whenever I see you,
I don’t know what to do.
I have loved you for a while,
I know I’m not your style.
I watch you every chance I get,
ever since the night we met.
I think you care,
but do you dare.
You know me to well,
that’s where I fail.
You know the way I am,
you know I can pull a scam.
I would change my way,
if you could only say
“I love you, anyway!”
MY HEART HAS DIED
My heart has died away,
now I know I want to stay.
The moon lights up the night sky,
our love was not a lie.
The moons metallic glow,
has forced me to go.
It is you I want to be with.
Gone somewhere new,
don’t know what to do.
My heart is still back with you,
this is something I must do.
Had to get away,
wish together we could stay.
I can’t handle any more pain.
I will be back soon,
when it’s a full moon.
As I look toward the sky,
all I wonder is why.
We will be together some how,
I do need you now.
We will be together, again.
>
Look into the moon,
I’ll find the way soon.
AT BAY
When I left you
it hurt me to go.
Our love was kept at bay
it turned my heart to ice.
When I return
it will turn to fire.
INTO THE NIGHT
As I look into the night,
why did we have to fight?
The moon is so high,
was it all a lie?
The stars are a glow,
what did I really know?
It is only you,
what is there to do?
TIME IS LOST
Time is lost
when I’m alone.
Love is lost
when I’m without you.
What can I do,
now that I lost you?
It is not fair.
How can you dare?
You walk away,
not much to say.
It can’t be this way.
I’m alone for now,
lonely as can be.
I know we can last.
It is not the end.
SURVIVOR
As the night goes on,
you have lied.
My love has gone,
it was going on to long.
You are now alone,
it has been shown.
You are now the loser,
I am now the survivor.
THE SIMPLE STONES
The stones that I have are special to me; they reflect great sadness and happiness. I will cherish them forever. The tragedy of September 11 had affected everyone’s life. As the nation mourned, a certain amount of hopelessness filled my days; a great darkness descended on every household. The need to get away from all the sadness that surrounded me was strong; I decided to escape to Ludington. My plan was simple, to forget the events that happened and to thoroughly enjoy myself. It did work to some extent, but the tragedy was always in the back of my mind.