calmly.
"I do not belong to it. I have no place in it."
"No, of course. You are just out of school. A few months morewill change all that."
"No, mamma, - please!"
"Yes, Daisy, - please!" she said, tapping my cheek with herfinger, and then leaning forward to kiss me with smiling lips."You do not know what you are talking about, my love. You aremade for the great world, Daisy. There is no danger of turningyour head; so I have no objection to explain to you that youare magnificent."
"Mamma, what difference can that possibly make?"
They both laughed at me, and mamma said I would soon see.
"But, mamma," I urged, "that world and I have nothing incommon. I should be out of my place in it, and it would findme something strange."
"It is quite time to have that altered then," she said. "Youmay be a nun if you choose afterward; but you shall know whatthe great world is, before you give it up; and it shall knowyou. You may spend your odd minutes in considering what dressyou will wear for your first appearance, Daisy. Don't ask mefor a white cambric and an apron with pockets."
I stood in much perplexity, not resolved what I ought to saynext. Papa took my hand.
"It is not much, to show yourself," he said kindly. "What isthe difficulty, Daisy?"
"You mean, show myself in a fine dress and in a fine assembly,papa?"
"I don't care about the dress," he answered.
"Yes, but you do, Mr. Randolph," said my mother. "Daisy wouldnot wear a print, for instance, to the Grand Duke's ball. Yourcomplexion, Daisy, will take any sort of colour; but rubieswill look especially well on this skin, and pearls." Shetouched my face caressingly as she spoke, pushing back thehair from my temple and then bringing her hand down to takehold of my chin. "Little fool!" said she laughing - "does itdismay you?"
"Yes, mamma, - the thought of crossing your pleasure."
"You shall not do that. Good children always obey theirmothers, I am not going to have you settled down on aplantation at home, east or west, without at least letting theworld see you first."
"Daisy does not want jewels," said my father. "She is tooyoung."
"One day she will," said mamma; "and an occasion might make itproper, even now. I hope so; for I want to see the effect."
Mamma went away, with that; and I sat down again by papa'sside. Not to dream over the sunlight on the lake any more; Iwas busy with cloudy realities. "Children, obey your parents_in the Lord_." Oh, why did duty bid me go contrary to thepleasure of mine! I would have so gladly pleased them to theutmost limits of my power. Papa was watching me, though I didnot know it, and presently said very gently, -
"What is it, Daisy?"
"Papa, I want to please you and mamma so much!"
"And cannot you?"
"Not in this, papa."
"Why? Explain to me. I do not understand your position,Daisy."
"Papa, I am a servant of Christ; and a servant is bound to dohis Master's will."
"But you are begging the question."
"If you will have patience, papa, I will try to tell you howit is. You know the Lord said, 'If any man serve me, let himfollow me.' You know how He lived and what He lived for.Should I be following in his footsteps, when I was dressingand dancing and talking nonsense or nothings and getting sotired that I could do nothing but sleep all the next day? Andpapa, that is not all. It is so difficult, when one is dressedto look well and others are dressed in like manner, or for thesame object, I mean, - it is very difficult not to wish tolook well, and to wish to look better than other people, andto be glad if one does; and then comes the desire foradmiration, and a feeling of pride, and perhaps, emulation ofsomebody else; and one comes home with one's head filled withpoor thoughts, and the next day one is fit for nothing. And isthat, following Christ? who went about doing good, who soughtnot His own, who was separate from sinners. And He said to Hispeople, 'Ye are not of the world, even as I am not of theworld.' "
"Why, Daisy," said my father, passing over the last part of myspeech, "how do you know all this? Have you been out into thegreat world already?"
"No, papa; but if the little world has such effects what mustthe great one do?"
"Pray, what little world have you seen?"
"The little world of West Point, papa. And something of theworld of Washington."
"_That_ is not much like a European court," said my father. "Howdid you like West Point?"
"Very much indeed."
"Did you go to balls there?"
"Oh, no, sir! only little hops, that the cadets have in theevenings."
"Was Preston there then?"
"He was entering upon his last year at the Academy."
"Had he improved?"
"Papa. - I thought he had _not_."
My father smiled. "Which of these young friends of ours do youlike the best, Daisy?"
"Mr. Marshall and Mr. De Saussure, do you mean?"
"I mean them."
Something in papa's tone made my answer, I was conscious, alittle constrained. I was very sorry, and could not help it.
"Papa - I think - Don't you think, Mr. Marshall has the mostprinciple?"
"Do you always like people best that are the best, Daisy?"said papa laughing. "Because, I confess I have a wickedperverseness to do the other way."
After this conversation I seemed to see several clouds risingon my horizon in different quarters. I thought it was wisestnot to look at them; but there was one that cast a shadowalways on the spot where I was. It was so long since I hadheard from Mr. Thorold! I had told him he must not write tome; but at the same time he had said that he would, and thathe would enclose a letter to my father. Neither letter hadcome. It was easy to account for; he might not have had achance to write; or in the confusions at home, his despatchmight have been detained somewhere; it might reach me after along interval, or it might never reach me! There was nothingstrange about it; there was something trying. The hunger of myheart for one word from him or of him, grew sometimesrapacious; it was a perpetual fast day with me, and naturecried out for relief. _That_ cloud cast a shadow always over menow; only except when now and then a ray from the eternalsunshine found a rift in the cloud, or shot below it, and fora moment my feet stood in light. I had letters from theSandfords; I had even one from Miss Cardigan; it did me agreat deal of good, but it broke my heart too.
Mamma and I kept off the subject of the great world for awhile; I think my father purposely prolonged our stay atGeneva, to favour my pleasure; and I hoped something after allmight prevent the discussion of that subject between mamma andme, at least for the present. So something did.
I came down one afternoon to the green bank behind the house,where a table stood, and where we took our meals when theweather was fine. Our three young men were around it and theair was fragrant with the fumes of their cigars. The cigars oftwo of them were tossed away on my appearance. Ransom held hisin abeyance.
"I did not know you were here," I said, "or I should havescrupled about interrupting anything so pleasant."
"You do not think it pleasant, confess, Miss Randolph," saidDe Saussure, drawing near to look over the progress of mywork.
"Do you dislike it, honestly, Miss Randolph?" said HughMarshall.
"I don't dislike sugar-plums," I said.
"Daisy likes nothing that ordinary people like," cried Ransom."I pity the man that will marry you, Daisy! He will livewithin a hedge-row of restrictions. You have lived amongPuritans till you're blue."
I lifted my eyes to Ransom without speaking. What there was inmy look, I do not know; but they all laughed.
"What connection is there between cigars and sugar-plums?"Hugh Marshall asked next.
"None, I suppose," I said. "Only, - what would you think of alady who sat down regularly to eat sugar-plums three or fourtimes a day and the last thing before going to bed? and whoevidently could not live without them."
"But why not take a sugar-plum, or a cigar, as well as otherthings - wine, or fruit, for instance?" said
Marshall.
"It is an indulgence - but we all allow ourselves indulgencesof one sort or another."
"Besides, with a lady it is different," said De Saussure. "Wepoor fellows have nothing better to do, half the time."
I had no wish to lecture Mr. De Saussure, but I could not helplooking at him, which again seemed to rouse their amusement.
"You seem to say, that is an insignificant way of life," HughMarshall added.
"We'll try for something better to-morrow," said De Saussure."We have laid a plan to go