Read Daisy in the Field Page 27

said. "I should think itwould be, To please God."

  "But that is not an answer, pardon me. Of course, the SupremeBeing is pleased to see people following the worthiest object;and the question is, What is the _worthiest?_"

  I did not like to hear Mr. De Saussure's tongue touch themeswhere it was not at home. The conversation was too serious forlight handling; but I could not get out of it.

  "You will find that my answer includes all," I said. "It isimpossible to lay down a rule, as to particulars, that willfit all cases. It is the best thing one man can do, to laydown his life for his country; the best thing another man cando is to stay at home and devote himself to the care of aninfirm mother or father; but in either case, for God."

  "I do not understand -" said Mr. Marshall.

  "Suppose the one goes to the battlefield for his own glory,and the other stays at home for his own ease?"

  "Don't you think glory is a thing to live for?" said Ransom,with an indignant expression that reminded me painfully of ourchildish days.

  "Yes," I said slowly, - "I do; but not the praise of men,which is so often mistaken. The glory that comes from God, -_that_ is worth living for."

  "What an incomprehensible girl you are!" Ransom answeredimpatiently.

  "She'll mend -" said mamma.

  "But, Miss Randolph," said Mr. Marshall, "the care of infirmrelatives, a father or a mother, can anything make thatunworthy?"

  "Not in itself," I said; "but suppose a man's duty calls himaway? It might. You can suppose such a case."

  "I see what I have to expect," mamma said with a laugh. "Daisywill take care of me, until some duty calls her away. I willnot count upon you, Daisy, any longer than that. De Saussure,what is _your_ estimate of life's objects? On honour, now!"

  "I can think of nothing better than to live for somebody thatone loves," he said.

  "I knew you would say that," she rejoined. "Hugh, what do yousay?"

  "I need to go to school, Mrs. Randolph."

  "Well, go to school to Daisy," said mamma with another lightlaugh. "And come, let us walk, or we shall not have time.Eug?ne Sue, is it, that we are going to see?"

  "Only his house, madam. Miss Randolph, I am charged, you know,with your studies to-day."

  I was not in the mood of accepting Mr. De Saussure's arm, butjust then it was the only thing to do. My mother and Ransomand Hugh Marshall were presently some little distance behind,an interval separating us; and Mr. De Saussure and I followedthe shores of the lake, taking such counsel together as oursomewhat diverse moods made possible. I was thinking, what alife of hard work the two prophets Elijah must have known intheir time; he who was first of the name, and his greatersuccessor, John the Baptist. Each of them worked alone,against a universal tide of adverse evil that flooded theland. If I found it so sorrowful to be alone in my family andsociety, what must they have felt with the whole world againstthem. And Elijah's spirit did once give out, brave as he was:"It is enough, O Lord; take away my life." I thought I couldunderstand it. To be all alone; to have no sympathy in what isdearest to you; to face opposition and scorn and ridicule andcontumely while trying to do people good and bring them togood; to have only God on your side, with the bitterconsciousness that those whom you love best are arrayedagainst him; your family and country; - I suppose nobody cantell how hard that is to endure, but he who has tasted it. Mytaste of it was light indeed; but a half hour with MissCardigan would have been inexpressibly good to me that day. SoI thought, as I walked along the bank of the lake with Mr. DeSaussure; and then I remembered "my hiding-place and myshield."

  "You are very silent to-day, Miss Randolph," said my companionat length. I may remark, in passing, that _he_ had not been.

  "It is enough to look, and to think," I answered, "with such asight before one's eyes."

  "Do you know," said he, "such independence of all the exteriorworld, - of mortals, I mean, - is very tantalising to thosedisregarded mortals?"

  "Do you find it so? It is fair then to presume, in a placelike this, that what takes up my attention has not so muchcharm for you."

  "That is severe!" he said. "Do you think I do not see all thisbeauty before us? But pardon me, - have _you_ seen it?"

  "I have tasted it every step of the way, Mr. De Saussure."

  "I am rebuked," he said. "You must excuse me - I had countedupon the pleasure of seeing you enjoy it."

  "One's enjoyment is not always heightened by giving itexpression," I said.

  "No, I know that is your theory - or practice," he said. "Mysisters are always so vehement in their praises of anythingthey like, that nobody else has a chance to know whether helikes it or not. I generally incline to the _not_."

  I added no remark upon Mr. De Saussure's or his sisters'peculiar way of enjoying themselves.

  "But you _are_ uncommonly silent," he went on presently; -"_triste_, _r?veuse_. It is impossible not to suffer from it, - inone who values your words as much as I do."

  "Why, I thought you were apt to look upon things from adifferent point of view, - not from mine," I said.

  "I must be wrong then - always. Miss Randolph, you are of agentle and kind disposition, - I wish you would be my Mentor!"

  "I am not old enough to be Mentor," I said.

  "To be mine! Yes, you are," he rejoined eagerly. "I would nothave you a day older."

  "I shall be that to-morrow," I said, laughing.

  "But if you were mine," he said, changing his tone, "every daywould only add to your power and your qualifications for doingme good. And I know that is what you love."

  "I cannot see that I have done you the least good, so far, Mr.De Saussure," I said, amused. "I think you must be mistaken."

  "Will you try, Daisy?" he said insinuatingly, and stoppingshort in our walk.

  "Try what, Mr. De Saussure?" I said, beginning to bebewildered.

  "Surely you know! You are a little cruel. But you have theright. Be my Mentor - be my darling - promise to be, one ofthese days, my wife."

  I dropped my arm from Mr. De Saussure's and stood in a maze, Imight say with truth, frightened. Up to that minute, nosuspicion of his purpose or mind regarding me had entered mythoughts. I suppose I was more blind than I ought to havebeen; and the truth was, that in the utter preoccupation of myown heart, the idea that I could like anybody else but Mr.Thorold, or that anybody else could like me, had been simplyout of sight. I knew myself so thoroughly beyond anybody'sreach, the prior possession of the ground was so perfect andsettled a thing, that I did not remember it was a fact hiddenfrom other eyes but mine. And I had gone on in my supposedwalled-in safety; - and here was somebody presuming within thewalls, who might allege that I had left the gate open.However, to do Mr. De Saussure justice, I never doubted for amoment that his heart might be in any danger of breaking if Ithrust him out. But for all that, I lost my breath in thefirst minute of discovery of what I had been doing.

  "You hesitate," said he. "You shall command me, Daisy. I willgo instantly, hard as it would be, and give all my power tofurthering the war at home; - or, if you bid me, I will keepout of it, which would be harder still, were you not hereinstead of there. Speak, won't you, -a good word for me?"

  "You must do nothing at my command, Mr. de Saussure," I said."I have known you only as mamma's and my brother's friend; - Inever thought you had any other feeling; and I had no othertowards you."

  "Mrs. Randolph _is_ my friend," he said eagerly. "She does methe honour to wish well to my suit. She looks at it, not withmy eyes, but with the eyes of prudence; and she sees theadvantages that such an arrangement would secure. I believeshe looks at it with patriotic eyes too. You know my estatesare nearly adjoining to yours. I may say too, that ourfamilies are worthy one of another. But there, I am veryconscious, my worthiness ends. I am not personally deservingof your regard - I can only promise under your guidance tobecome so."

  A light broke upon me.

  "Mr. De Saussure" - I began; but he said hastily, "Let us goon - they are coming near us;" and I took his offered armag
ain, not wishing more than he to have spectators or hearersof our talk; and now that the talk was begun, I wished to endit.

  "Mr. de Saussure," I said, "you are under a serious mistake.You speak of my estates; I must inform you that I shall never,under any circumstances, be an heiress. Whoever marries me -if I ever marry - will marry a poor girl."

  "Pardon me -" he began.

  "Yes," said I interrupting him; - "I know of what I speak."

  "What can you mean,