But it was impossible to soul search with these two headstrong men around.
Then again, who said she had to stick around and listen to them bicker?
“You know, I think I’ll let you two discuss this amongst yourselves.” She glanced at her brother. “I need to see Vivian. Will you give me a ride?”
“No. We’re not finished here.”
Luke voiced his agreement. “Neither are we, Ellie.”
“We’ll finish everything later,” she said breezily, taking a step toward the hallway. “Josh. The ride?”
She saw the irritation flickering in Luke’s eyes, but she didn’t let herself back down. She couldn’t do this right now, not when her emotions were all jumbled up inside her.
Josh, finally realizing that she wasn’t giving in and having this confrontation right now, muttered, “Let me get my keys,” and then followed her to the front door.
Dropping his sister off at Vivian’s place was one of the most difficult things Josh had ever done. It took every ounce of willpower not to storm inside that green and white house, grab Vivian by the shoulders and shake some sense into her, but pride had held him back. Or maybe defeat.
Last night, Vivian had made her feelings clear. It was over. And no matter how badly he wanted to fight her on this, he wasn’t the kind of man who begged for a woman’s affection. She’d made up her mind, she didn’t want to be with him, and heart wrenching as that was, he needed to accept it.
He just wished she could’ve given him the chance to prove how much he cared about her. Josh had never met another woman like Vivian, a woman who could set his body on fire and at the same time unleash a tender side he never knew he had. If she just got over her silly fears, her unfounded insecurities, she’d see that they made one dynamite couple.
And yet he wasn’t sure he blamed her for ending it either. When Tanya had referred to him as hot, it had been awkward to say the least. For one split second Josh had seen where Viv was coming from, how embarrassed it made her feel to be attracted to a man young enough to date her daughter. But that didn’t mean he agreed with her point of view one hundred percent. Truth was, she was attracted to him, and the connection between them was foolish to ignore.
Get over it, man.
With a sigh, Josh turned right onto Ellie’s street, knowing he had to put Vivian out of his mind and focus on the other issue currently complicating his life. Luke and Ellie.
His hands tightened over the steering wheel as the memory of his best friend and little sister, barely dressed, flashed across his brain. Christ, what was Luke thinking? Why had he decided to add Ellie to his string of casual conquests?
Josh loved Luke like a brother, but that didn’t mean he condoned the guy’s behavior. Ever since Luke’s relationship with Robin had fizzled, he’d been living it up as a bachelor, moving from one woman to the next, never sticking around long enough for a second date. Well, Josh wouldn’t let his friend take advantage of Ellie. His sister was the most important person in his life and damn it, she’d been hurt enough the past six months. Josh wouldn’t let her get hurt again.
Stiffening his shoulders, he parked his rental behind Luke’s SUV and entered the bungalow. “Get your ass out here, Russell,” he called the second he stepped into the living room.
A moment later, Luke walked out of the kitchen. “I take it it’s time for round two?”
“You’re lucky Ellie decided to leave. You wouldn’t have wanted her around to see me kicking your ass.” Even to his own ears the threat sounded hollow.
Luke rolled his eyes and met Josh’s icy stare, unfazed. “You seriously want to pick a fight with a bodyguard? Don’t you remember the last time we got in a fistfight? As I recall, someone’s ass did get kicked and it certainly wasn’t mine.”
“I was fifteen, I’ve picked up a few moves since then.” He stared his friend down then broke out in a reluctant grin. They both knew Luke was right. Though a fight between them would probably be close, Josh suspected Luke would come out the winner. He always had in the past.
After a brief moment, his grin faded into a scowl. “What the hell are you thinking, man? Why Ellie?”
Luke seemed confused. “What do you mean?”
“Look, I’m not knocking your lifestyle, but you don’t have a good track record with relationships. You can have any woman you want, any night you want. Why couldn’t you leave Ellie alone?”
“It’s not like that.”
Josh shot him a knowing look. “No? As I recall, after you left Robin, you were dead set on never getting involved again. What the hell changed?”
Luke opened his mouth to reply, and then clamped it shut. Josh’s question hung in the air, making him hesitate. What had changed? What was he doing with Ellie? What did he want from her?
He rubbed his forehead, momentarily confused. He wanted…well, damn, he wanted a lot of things. He wanted to make love to her again. To dance with her the way they had last night. To hold her in his arms every night until they fell asleep. To spend each and every day making her smile that sassy smile of hers.
He suddenly cursed out loud.
“Great answer,” Josh said sarcastically. “Makes me real happy I asked you to help me with Ellie.”
Luke let out a frustrated breath. “Damn it, man, cut the sarcasm.”
“Not until you tell me why on earth you got involved with my little sister.”
With a strangled groan, he said the first thing that came to mind. “Because I love her.”
If he hadn’t been so shocked by his own revelation, he might have laughed at the sight of Josh’s dropped jaw. It took a lot to catch Josh Dawson off-guard.
“You love her?”
He turned his head and focused his gaze through the open patio door to that spot on the sand they’d laid on last night. The image of Ellie’s naked body and sexy grins flashed through his head, and his pulse quickened. She always did that to him, made his heartbeat race like this.
He could’ve denied it. Said that he’d uttered the words in haste but really didn’t mean them. But damn, deep down he knew he’d meant those three little words. Somehow, between their bickering and their games, between those gentle kisses and mind-blowing sex, he’d fallen in love with her.
“Yes. I do. I’m in love with her, Josh.”
His friend exhaled deeply. “Have you told her?”
“No.”
“Does she love you?”
He swallowed. “I don’t know.”
“She does, you know.” Josh’s shoulders sagged. “I think she’s always loved you.”
Luke couldn’t explain the rush of pleasure that shot through him. He remembered Ellie’s confession that she’d wanted him for fifteen years, and cursed himself for being so blind. For not realizing his own feelings sooner.
“She told me why she ran off.” He didn’t mean to change the subject, but the words slipped out before he could stop them. Thinking about Ellie in the Dancehall reminded him of her other confession. “When she broke her foot…she can’t dance ballet again, man.”
“What?” Surprise lined Josh’s eyes.
“Her career is over. That’s why she took off, that’s why she’s working in Vivian Kendrick’s club. It’s the only connection she has to her old life, to dancing.”
“Why the hell didn’t she tell me?”
“I think it was too much for her to handle. That’s why she needed to get away.”
As silence fell over the room, Luke suddenly needed to sit down. His mind was swimming with questions, the main one being—what did he do now? How did he deal with the knowledge that he’d fallen for Ellie?
He sank onto the couch and rubbed his forehead. A second later Josh joined him, looking equally distressed. Shooting his friend a sideways glance, Luke asked, “Still want to kick my ass?”
Josh smiled faintly. “Naah. But I would like you to promise me something.”
“Yeah, what’s that?”
“Don’t ever hurt my sister, Lu
ke. If you really do love her, I’ll give you my blessing. But I need to trust that you won’t screw around with her feelings. Either you’re there for her for the long haul, or you’re not there at all.”
“I’m there for the long haul.” It shocked him that he actually meant it.
Josh nodded, looking pleased. Then he gave a bitter laugh. “Well, at least one of us got the girl this time.”
Luke cocked his head. “You mean, you and Vivian…?”
“Why doesn’t it surprise me you figured out there was something between us?” Josh set his mouth in a grim line. “Was being the operative word. Vivian ended things last night.”
“I’m sorry, man.”
“Yeah, so am I.” Josh chuckled. “She thinks she’s too old for me.”
Luke returned the chuckle. “And in one week you couldn’t convince her what an old geezer you are? Christ, Josh, you were wearing business suits at the age of eighteen. Oh, and who could forget all those antacids you popped in college while most kids your age lived on a diet of beer?”
A rueful smile lifted Josh’s mouth. “I guess Viv couldn’t see it. It also didn’t help that her daughter called last night and raved about how hot I am.” He paused. “That phone call was the final straw for Viv. She thinks Tanya would be horrified if she knew her mother was dating me.”
Luke drew his brows together in a frown. “Have you thought about getting in touch with Tanya yourself?”
“Man, you sound like Viv. I don’t want to date her daughter, for fuck’s sake!”
Luke held up his hand. “Relax, that’s not what I meant. I’m just wondering if maybe you can ask Tanya to talk to her. Tanya’s a sweet girl, and she adores her mother.” He offered a small shrug. “I think she’d just want Vivian to be happy.”
A look of uncertainty spread across Josh’s face. “You think she’d be okay with me dating her mother?”
“You won’t know unless you call her.”
Luke saw the wheels turning in his friend’s head and when Josh shot to his feet a second later he looked like a new man. “You’re right,” he announced. “It’s definitely worth a shot.” He slapped his hands together. “Okay, I need to get a few things from the car. I think Alice jotted down Tanya’s number on one of my papers.”
With a determined expression Josh strode to the front door but stopped before turning the knob. “I’m really glad about you and Ellie, man,” he said over his shoulder. “But remember that promise you made, okay? You need to take care of her. She’s so fragile, especially after losing the baby, and, well, she needs to know she can count on you to be there for her.”
Josh flew out the door before Luke had a chance to reply or even comprehend what he just heard.
Losing the baby?
Chapter Thirteen
Ellie found Vivian in the backyard, sitting on the concrete deck surrounding the swimming pool. Viv’s bare feet dangled over the edge, making absent circles in the water. As Ellie stepped closer a pang of guilt tugged at her stomach. If someone ever wanted to know what the word dejected meant, all they had to do was look at Vivian right now.
“Viv?” she said cautiously, stepping onto the deck.
A look of relief flooded the older blonde’s features as she caught sight of her. “Hey! I’m so glad you came by.”
“Josh just dropped me off.”
“So he finally decided to step out of the shadows and face you.”
“Yeah.” Ellie lowered herself on the concrete and sat next to Vivian. After a moment, she kicked off her flip-flops and dipped her bare feet into the water.
She tilted her head to look up at the clear blue sky, and then glanced around Vivian’s enclosed backyard. Viv was an avid gardener, she’d spent a lot of time planting all the colorful flowers on the perimeter of the yard, and there was something about being surrounded by flowers that soothed Ellie’s nerves.
“I’m sorry I lied to you,” Vivian said softly.
“Josh put you in an awkward position, I get that now.” Ellie wiggled her toes in the cold water. “And Luke confessed he was the one who convinced you to fire me, so you don’t need to cover his ass anymore.”
“I still think I did the right thing,” Viv answered without hesitation. “You don’t belong here, honey.”
“I think you’re right.” She breathed in the sweet scent of the flowers. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a thing for Josh?”
Vivian gave an uncomfortable laugh. “I guess I didn’t want to admit it to myself, let alone share the embarrassment with someone else.”
“Embarrassment? What do you mean?”
“I’m forty-four years old, Ellie. I have no business dating a guy Josh’s age.”
Ellie wrinkled her forehead. “Viv, you have the right to go out with anyone you choose. If you have feelings for Josh, you can’t let his age stop you from exploring them.”
“You’re honestly telling me you’d want your brother to be with me?”
“Why not?” Ellie shrugged and offered a tiny smile. “You might even be good for him. Josh is so uptight, so determined to take care of everyone. I don’t think he even knows the meaning of the word relax. You, on the other hand, have mastered it.”
Vivian chuckled. “So you want me to loosen him up?”
“Well, God knows he needs it.”
Vivian was quiet for a moment, and then she let out a sigh that sounded heavy to Ellie’s ears. “Someone else will have to do it then. I’m not the woman for the job, honey.”
“Why don’t you give it a chance? You might find out you are that woman.”
Vivian shook her head. “After last night I’m more than certain Josh needs to be with someone else.”
Ellie opened her mouth to object but she never got the chance as Viv swiftly changed the subject to ask, “What about you and Luke? Who won the game of seduction?”
“Me? Him? Both of us? Who knows.”
Vivian nodded knowingly. “You slept with him.”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Will there be a future for the two of you?”
Ellie lifted her head and let the warm breeze caress her face, remembering what Luke had said before Josh stormed in. Did you ever think maybe I wanted to be with you?
Biting her lip, she turned to her friend. “I don’t know. I’m too messed up to think about having a relationship with Luke. Or anyone, for that matter.”
“Then clean up your internal mess.”
“How?”
“Well, first of all, you can stop thinking your life is over just because you can’t dance. Like I said before, teaching is always an option.”
“I know.” She sighed. “I just can’t imagine not dancing. For so long, ballet was my entire life. And then, when I got pregnant, the baby became my entire life. Now…” Her voice drifted. “I don’t even know who I am anymore. I can’t be a dancer, I’ll never be able to give birth to my own child, so who can I be?”
“You can be Ellie.” Vivian smiled. “You can be a teacher, a wife, a mother to a child who might not be biologically yours but who you’ll love just as much. You can be anything you want, hon.”
“I can’t enter a relationship until I figure it out, Viv. What if Luke doesn’t get that?”
“Then he’s an ass.”
Ellie grinned. “Takes one to know one.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you should stop being so insecure and give Josh a chance.”
“I’ll think about it,” Vivian said noncommittally.
“Ah, so now you’re an ass and a liar.”
As Ellie approached the edge of her driveway she was suddenly glad she’d decided to walk the twenty minutes across town instead of calling a cab or Josh to pick her up. She’d spent the time seriously thinking about what she wanted to say to Luke, and as she hurried up the front walk she knew it was time to tell him the truth.
The black SUV in the driveway told h
er Luke was still there, but fortunately Josh’s rental car was gone.
When she entered the house, she found Luke in the living room, sitting on the couch and absently flipping through a Sports Illustrated magazine. He lifted his head when he heard her come in. “Welcome back.”
She glanced around the room. “Where’s Josh?”
“He had some errands to take care of.”
“Did you two fight?”
“I got a nice verbal beating. But after I made Josh understand the situation, he gracefully gave me his blessing and left. He said to kiss you goodbye, by the way.”
Josh had given him his blessing? Blessing for what?
Fiddling with the hem of her T-shirt, she dropped into the nearby recliner and bit her lip. “What exactly did Josh bless?”
“Us.”
She ignored the way her heart skipped a beat. “Us?”
Getting up, he languidly strolled toward her. “I told Josh I love you.”
Despite the fact that she was sitting down, she nearly keeled over. “What?”
He stroked her palm with his fingers. “You heard me. I told him I love you. And it’s the truth.” He leaned down and kissed her hand. “I’ll be honest, Elenore. You drive me crazy. Sometimes you make me want to tear my own hair out.”
“Thank you?”
He chuckled. “But in spite of that, I love you.”
“I can’t believe you’re saying this. I don’t know what…” Her voice trailed off.
“C’mere,” he grumbled, pulling her into his arms.
She molded against him, savoring the feel of his strong embrace and the soft kisses he planted on her lips. Closing her eyes, she tried to lose herself in his tender touch. He gently pushed her onto her back, trailing his mouth down her neck, lifting her shirt so that he could kiss her stomach.
“Why didn’t you tell me about the baby?”
His question sent a jolt of shock thundering through her, and she sat up abruptly, pushing his hand away. “What?”
He reached out again and touched her cheek. “Josh told me about the miscarriage.”