Read Dandelion Wishes Page 1

n Wishes

  By Marissa Steidl

   

  Copyright 2014 by Marissa Steidl

   

   

  To a mother who always been there for me    and never gave    up on me.    To my brothers who never told me my dream was impossible. Your support means the world to me. For anyone that's supported and encouraged me, thank you.

  -Marissa

   

  Table of Contents

  About Marissa Steidl

  Other Works by Marissa Steidl

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  False Promises

  You promised me

  One day we                                     

  Would

  Run away

  Together.

                                       

  And I                                     

  Believed

  Every word

  You said.

                                       

  Because I

  Didn't know

  You were

  Sick.

                                       

  But you

  Did.

                                        

  You left

  Me behind

  With my                                     

  Demons.

                                       

  And a pocketful

  Of false

  Promises.                                     

   

  Broken

  I remember when

  You first told me

  Something was

  Wrong.

                                       

  It was 2 am

  And you called me

  Saying you

  Could just barely

  Breathe.                                     

                                       

  By then you knew

  You were

  Sick.

                                        

  You sounded

  Scared and

  Alone.

                                       

  So I got up

  And drove to

  Your apartment.

                                       

  I took you

  To the                                     

  Hospital.

                                       

  Never left your

  Side.

                                       

  Not when the doctor                                     

  Told you the                                     

  Lung cancer

  Was getting

  Worse.

                                       

  When he left

  You asked me

  If I was mad

  At you for not

  Telling me.

                                       

  I was furious

  But I shook my head

  And said                                     

  Never.

                                       

  Because you looked

  Like I did before you

  Found me.

                                       

  Broken.

   

  Shining Star

  You got worse

  As time

  Went on.

                                       

  Not even

  The chemo

  Helped.

                                       

  I remember                                      

  Crying while you

  Were asleep

  One night.

                                       

  Begging god

  Not to take

  You away                                     

  From me.

                                       

  Because you

  Will always

  Be the shining

  Star that                                     

  Pulled me

  Back from the

  Abyss.

                                       

  Drowning

  You were admitted

  To the hospital

  When you stopped

  Breathing one

  Night.

                                       

  I sat by your

  Bed every day

  Refusing to leave

  You.

                                       

  Each morning

  When I woke

  You watched me

  and said

  "You look terrible."

  Smiling but

  I could tell

  You were                                     

  Worried.

                                       

  When you finally

  Left me behind

  And traveled

  To the Heavens

  I begged                                     

  "Please stay!"

  But you were

  Already gone.

                                       

  At your funeral

  There were only

  Two people

  Me and the pastor

  No one knew

  You died.

                                       

  As they lowered you

  Into the ground

  My whole body

  Shook like                                     

  It was

  December.

                                       

  And when I

  Went back

  To your place

  I collapsed

  On your bed

  Sobbing and                                     

  I felt like

  I was finally

  Drowning.

   

  The Abyss

  When we first met


  I was ready

  To end it

  All.

                                       

  I was all

  Alone cast

  Out by a

  Father who

  Drank himself

  Into an early                                      

  Grave.

                                       

  Left by a

  Mother who

  Tried to pretend

  I didn't                                     

  Exist.

                                       

  Nobody would

  Have stopped

  Me.                                     

                                       

  Except for you.

                                       

  You grabbed my

  Arm and pulled

  Me back.

                                       

  Asked me what

  My name was

  While the rain roared                                      

  Down upon                                     

  Us.

                                       

  "Which one?"

  But you didn't

  Understand what

  I meant.

                                       

  "Do you have different names?"

  Yes all the different

  Ones my father

  Called me.

                                       

  When I nodded

  You just shook

  Your head

  "What do you call yourself?"

   

  Hopeless.

  "Joy."

  An emotion

  I can't

  Remember feeling

  Before.

                                       

  "Darcy."

  Said so softly

  I almost missed

  It.

                                       

  We left for

  Somewhere warm

  And I never went                                     

  Back to the                                     

  Abyss.

   

  Roots

  We never talked

  About our

  Families.

                                      

  One day a

  Month after we met

  My father                                    

  Found me

  Again.

                                      

  Or should I say

  I found

  Him.

                                      

  His death was                                     

  In the

  Newspaper.

                                      

  He drank until

  He couldn't feel.

                                      

  To forget about

  His no good

  Daughter.

                                      

  And the wife

  Who left

  Him.

                                      

  You didn't ask

  Me if I would

  Attend his

  Funeral.

                                      

  Instead you

  Came with

  Me as I

  Said good riddance

  To the

  Monster from my

  Past.

                                      

  Leaving behind my roots.

                                      

  Darkness

  You were the

  First person

  Not to give

  Up on me.

                                      

  Not when

  I was ready

  To give up

  On myself.

                                      

  Before I took

  Care of you

  You cared

  For me.

                                      

  Keeping the

  Darkness at

  Bay.

   

  Forgetting

  The other day

  I went                                    

  To call

  You.

                                      

  Then I

  Remembered

  You were

  Gone.

                                       

  And I broke

  Down crying

  Again.

                                      

  I keep

  Forgetting you

  Are gone

  And never coming

  Back.

   

  Echos

  I can hear

  You in every

  Room.

                                      

  Your laugh

  Echos through

  My thoughts.

                                      

  It's getting

  Harder and

  Harder not

  To think

  Your home.

                                      

  When I close

  My eyes I

  See your face

  Smiling.

                                      

  When I lie                                    

  Down in

  Bed I                                    

  Can feel

  You next to

  Me.

                                      

  Why did you leave?

   

  Empty Boxes

  I can't bring

  Myself to

  Pack up your

  Apartment.

                                      

  Only to put

  Your things

  In boxes.

                                      

  To be set

  In the back

  Of my                                   
 

  Closet.

                                      

  It hurts

  Too much

  To see all

  Of the photos

  We took

  Together.

                                      

  So instead

  I have a                                    

  Pile of

  Empty boxes

  In the                                    

  Corner of my

  Bedroom.

                                      

  Waiting to

  Be

  Used.

   

  Worry Lines

  I know you

  Worried while

  You were                                    

  Sick.                                    

   

  You thought

  I might go

  Back to my

  Bad place.

   

  And even though

  I promised you

  That wouldn't

  Happen I

  Lied.

   

  Because I was

  Scared I would

  Go back                                    

  To the                                    

  Abyss.

   

  You could always                                    

  See right through

  Me.

   

  There were always

  Worry lines

  On your face

  When you were

  Sick.

   

  I think you

  Gave me them

  Because I still

  Worry something

  Bad will happen

  To me.

   

  First Kiss

  I remember                                    

  Our first kiss

  Like it was

  Yesterday.

                                      

  We had a                                    

  Picnic in

  The park.

                                      

  You wore a                                    

  Pretty blue

  Dress.

                                      

  Compared to me

  You looked

  Like a goddess.

                                      

  I wore a                                    

  Sweater and jeans

  Even though

  It was

  April.

                                      

  I was still

  Afraid you

  Were just a

  Dream.

                                      

  And I wouldn't

  Wake up at

  All.

                                      

  We stayed there                                    

  Until the sun set

  Then you                                    

  Walked me

  Home.

                                      

  I was nervous

  About what                                    

  Would happen

  Next.

                                      

  But those

  Nerves disappeared                                    

  With our first

  Kiss.

   

  Secrets

  Most of the

  Doors to

  Your past

  Were kept

  Closed.

                                     

  All I knew

  Was you

  Left something

  Behind.

                                     

  Last week

  The something

  You kept locked

  In your

  Past found

  Me.

                                     

  You were going

  To marry                                   

  The boy                                   

  Next door.

                                     

  But in the

  End you

  Couldn't.

                                     

  There was

  No love

  In the                                   

  Relationship.

                                     

  I was surprised                                   

  When he showed                                    

  Up at

  Your apartment

  When I finally

  Began to pack

  Stuff up.

                                     

  He was confused

  When you

  Didn't answer                                   

  The door.

                                     

  "Is Darcy here?"

  He did not

  Hear the

  News.

                                     

  "My name's Paul."

  I still couldn't                                   

  Wrap my head

  Around the

  Idea of him.

                                     

  "I-I'm Joy."

  When he asked

  Where you                                    

  Were it                                   

  Took everything

  In me                                   

  Not to

  Cry.

                                     

  Paul was not

  As able

  To keep from

  Crying.

                                     

  Because you

  Were sick

  Long