So smug in her cruelness.
Before dealing with Ian, I had to know something for sure. “Hailey, did you know this would happen tonight?”
Nodding her head, the smile never left her face. I was done with Hailey. Years of friendship had come to an end. I hoped it was worth it for her.
“Where did she go?” I asked Ian.
“To grab her bag and change her clothes,” he answered coolly.
“And then what?”
He shrugged the shoulder not leaning against the wall. “Then my princess will probably be hungry. I’ll take her out to eat at a diner she likes to go to.”
Ian calling her princess, my nickname for her, made me see red, his blood spilling on the floor. She must have told him and he was using the information to taunt me now.
“If she’s hungry, I’ll be the one to feed her.” It was stupid, but the thought of Ian or any other guy doing anything for her, pissed me off.
Ian just rolled his eyes, shaking his head in laughter. “You’re a dumbass, Caleb.”
“She can’t be your girlfriend, Ian. She already has a boyfriend.”
Ian lifted one eyebrow arrogantly. “You mean that douche Seth? Well, let’s just say I’m in the process of convincing her I’d be a much better boyfriend than either of you.”
In my relief, my body relaxed somewhat and I almost smiled. “So, she’s not your girlfriend?”
“Yet,” he enunciated slowly, grinning confidently. And just like that, I was royally pissed off again. The thought of Ian of all people touching her made me sick.
I despised the bastard, had ever since middle school. I didn’t remember exactly what started it, but from the beginning, we’d hated each other. We’d crossed paths at one school or another over the years. We were never at the same one for long, since Ian and I both get expelled often. We’d even messed around with some of the same girls. Hailey, for example. If we ran into each other at a party, it was a coin toss whether or not we’d end up punching it out.
I’d never cared about the other girls. I did care very much about having Gianna in common. It wasn’t gonna happen. I stood there with arms crossed, legs apart, bracing myself for the battle to come.
A few minutes later, it arrived. Gianna walked out of the double doors wearing low rise dark blue jeans, a light blue tank top cut just high enough to show the cute belly button piercing that I lusted after and her white Sketchers.
She halted when she spotted me, as if surprised to see me still there.
Catching Ian glance down at her stomach had me wanting to rips his eyes out of his head.
After that first instance of surprise, Gianna totally ignored my presence, not looking my way. She offered Ian a bright smile. “Ready?”
“Sure, princess.” Ian emphasized the last word, staring straight at me.
“Gianna!” I called out after her as they made their way through the crowd of people. She either pretended not to hear me or she really couldn’t over the pounding music. The club was about to close, but spirits were still high as the DJ played one of the last songs of the night.
I trailed them out the exit and could sense Hailey still on my heels, breathing down my neck. I guess she planned to enjoy the show.
As soon as we were out on the street, I yelled, “Gianna!”
She finally acknowledged me, spinning around impatiently. “What the hell do you want, Caleb?”
I stalked over to where she stood next to an annoyed Ian. “What the hell are you doing with your life?”
The bitter look on her pretty face was all wrong. “Why, don’t you approve? Do you want to help me become happy again? Should I start writing the list now?”
“Gianna-” I began.
Cutting off what I was about to say, she continued her tirade, now using her fingers to accentuate. “One! Don’t ever trust Caleb again. Two! Never have anything to do with Caleb again. Three! Don’t ever let Caleb hurt me again. Four! Find some way to forget about what Caleb did and said. Five! Ignore that Caleb is once again screwing anything with a hole.”
Ian wiped a hand over his mouth, trying to hide his laughter. Hailey wasn’t bothering to muffle her own laughter.
I didn’t want Gianna thinking I’d touch another girl. She was my only girl. Holding up my right hand, forming a hole with my fingers, I asked, “See this?”
Confused, she nodded.
I spoke slowly, so there was no misunderstanding me. “This is the only thing I’ve been screwing.”
Her mouth dropped open in a combination of shock and embarrassment. She practically spit out the word, “Liar.”
Ian had joined Hailey in laughing obnoxiously. “Lame, dumbass.”
“Why, Caleb?” Gianna asked suspiciously. “You said yourself you don’t love me, so why the celibacy?”
I wasn’t about to get into this with an audience, especially not an audience which consisted of my worst enemy before Julie came along and my former friend.
“Can we go somewhere alone to talk?” I pleaded softly.
Gianna seemed unsure, but said, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Caleb.”
“Neither do I,” Ian added.
“No one gives a damn what you think, asshole!” He had to know how close I was to losing it. We’d rarely been around each other this long without one of us taking a swing.
He pointed an index finger towards Gianna. “She does.”
My eyes went back Gianna as she said, “Ian has been a good friend, Caleb.”
“A good friend?” I asked incredulously. “Ian is nothing but a conniving bastard!”
Hailey scoffed. “You and Ian only hate each other so much because you’re exactly alike. Bad boys with big dicks.”
Gianna shot Hailey a black look. “You’re such a whore, Hailey.”
Hailey moved forward as if about to attack Gianna. I thought about grabbing her by the hair, but restrained myself and grabbed onto her arm instead.
“Don’t even think about it,” I told Hailey. “Just leave. You got what you came for.”
She ignored me, trying to pull out of my grip as she shouted at Gianna, “You think you’re so freaking perfect, don’t you cheerleader? You think you’re better than me, but now you’re just another one of Caleb’s sluts!”
Not helping my case. I needed to get rid of Hailey before she dug my hole deeper.
Gianna’s expression remained calm. “Better than being everyone’s slut like you.”
I yanked Hailey by the arm to turn her away from Gianna. “Go,” I ordered menacingly.
Hailey knew me and my temper. The fear on her face showed me she finally understood she’d pushed me to my limit. Backing up, she was still itching for a fight, but was smart enough to get the hell out a situation where no one was on her side.
With one last look back at us, she screamed, “Screw all of you!”
Classy parting line executed, Hailey disappeared around the corner of the building and became one less headache for me to deal with.
Taking a deep breath, I held out my hand. “Come with me, Gianna.”
Before Gianna could respond, Ian took it upon himself to do it for her. “She’s not going anywhere with you, Caleb. She learned that lesson after Vegas.”
Just how much had she told the bastard?
It was at that moment I saw it in his face, something he’d been hiding with smugness and arrogance before. Ian really cared about Gianna. He wasn’t just trying to get into her pants like with other girls. He wasn’t just trying to piss me off. He wanted her for himself.
I should’ve known. One thing Hailey was right about was the fact that Ian and I were so similar in personalities. But I sincerely doubted he was any more than two inches.
Now, I was worried on a level I hadn’t been before. If Ian was serious about her, then he could be trouble. Ian wasn’t her stepbrother. Julie didn’t know about Ian’s disgraceful past. He could hide from Julie that he was just like me. Besides the fact that Ian was from a wealthy family
and could give Gianna things I couldn’t.
I shook my head to clear it, determination setting in. No, I wouldn’t let it happen. Gianna was mine first. She loved me first. She still loved me. Somehow, I’d work it all out. Manipulate the situation any way I had to.
“Gianna,” I ground out through clenched teeth, “if you don’t want me to kick Ian’s ass for the hundredth time, then you need to come with me.”
Ian laughed. “As I recall, I’ve kicked your ass just as many times.”
Gianna glanced worriedly back and forth between us. “I don’t want you two fighting over me.”
“Then you better come with me.” I dropped the hand I’d been holding out that she hadn’t taken and took a couple steps towards her.
Ian moved to come between us. “Back up, Caleb.”
Gianna backed away from both of us. “I see only one solution.”
She headed straight for one of the cabs parked along the front of the club, waiting for the club-goers to disperse. Ian went after her, trying to stop her, as I stood there watching, happy enough in the knowledge that she wasn’t leaving with him.
I remained standing on the sidewalk, watching her taxi turn the corner, while Ian stalked up to me, getting up in my face. “Leave her alone, Caleb. You had your chance. Now it’s mine.”
“She’s still mine,” I informed him, not backing down.
He laughed like it was all a joke. “She told me everything that happened. You couldn’t even say I love you back to her. Believe me, if Gianna ever says those words to me, I’ll be saying them back.”
“There was more to it than that, Ian, and once I get it all worked out, she’ll know I love her.”
Not wanting to waste any more time on him, I walked away, more sober than I’d been thirty minutes ago. As I climbed into my Camaro, I wished I knew where she was headed. If I did, I’d pursue her to have the conversation she’d avoided by running away.
I was in no mood to drive all the way out to my dad’s condo and I probably wouldn’t pass a breathalyzer, so I drove to the parking garage near my mom’s apartment, hoping she wasn’t home. I really didn’t want to be forced to answer any of her questions.
When I got to the glass doors of the building, I noticed the light above the doors was out. I’d have to tell my mom so she could let the building manager know, if someone hadn’t already. I punched in the code, using the screen light from my cell phone to illuminate the keypad and see what the heck I was doing.
I heard a scuffle in the darkness, along the side of the building a few feet away. Thinking I was about to be jumped or mugged, I braced myself.
Until I heard, “What do you want to talk about, Caleb?”
My relief was short-lived as I realize how unsafe she’d been. “What are you doing out here by yourself, Gianna? Someone could’ve attacked you.”
I heard her step closer, enough to make out her form. “I have mace.”
“And if there were two of them?”
“I also have a knee that shoots up quickly.”
At my exasperated sound, she was silent.
Reaching out to grab her waist, I touched her for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. “Come inside with me.”
I sensed her hesitation for a moment, but she went in when I held the door open for her. Once we were in the apartment, I left her in the living room to check my mom’s room. The door was open and her bed was empty. She must’ve been out of town or at a friend’s house. Thank god, now we’d have privacy.
When I returned to the living room, Gianna was sitting on the couch, gazing across the room at my mom’s newest painting. As I neared, she glanced up warily. Feeling elated to be close to her again, I sat down on the middle cushion, right next to her. She popped up immediately to move to the armchair across from me.
“What did you want to talk about, Caleb?” she repeated.
“Us.”
She shot me a patronizing look. “There is no us anymore, Caleb. You made sure of that.”
I was dying to inform her that Julie, her mother, was the one to make sure of it. But, it was too soon. I still had no plan to fight her mom. Instead, I said, “You look beautiful, Gianna.”
She rolled her beautiful blue eyes. Her sarcasm didn’t bother me. I was just so freaking happy to be in her presence. “So I’ve been told. Still not so sure it’s a blessing.”
“You’re not just beautiful on the outside, Gianna.”
I’d startled her. She looked like she was fighting tears. “Stop it, Caleb. I don’t want to hear those kinds of things from you.”
“I’m sorry,” I apologized, really not wanting her to cry. “Let’s talk about you then.”
She swallowed, regaining her composure. “What about me?” Her hands were clasped in her lap and I wanted so badly to take them in mine.
“First off, why did you get together with Seth less than a day after we broke up?”
“It’s none of your business, Caleb. It has nothing to do with you anymore.”
If I wanted to get anything out of her, I was going to have to be honest. “It hurt me, Gianna.”
She glanced away, now looking at the painting over my head. “He’s . . . safe.”
Okay, I could understand that, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t eating at me. “I see.” I knew I shouldn’t ask my next question. If she answered a certain way, I’d lose my shit. But I had to ask, “Are you having sex him?”
“God, Caleb,” she breathed out in shock. “You shouldn’t blurt out stuff like that.”
“Are you?” I insisted.
Her eyes held mine. “No.”
“And Ian?”
I was beginning to piss her off, by the hard look in her eyes. “Right now, the answer is no.”
“Right now?” I asked in disbelief, picturing a bloody Ian again.
“What the hell do you care, Caleb?” Her voice was raised and I was doubly glad my mom wasn’t home. “Did you mark your territory and now you don’t want anyone else trespassing?”
“You belong to me, Gianna.”
Sitting back, she laughed. “I notice you didn’t say that I belong with you.”
“That too,” I replied hastily, wishing I could say so much more.
“You didn’t feel that way a few weeks ago when you practically ran out of my house.”
“I’ve felt that way since we first met, Gianna.”
“Felt what, Caleb? Ownership? Possessiveness? No thanks.” She stood up to leave. “I think we’ve chatted enough for a lifetime. It’s time for me to go home.”
As she passed me to get to the door, I dragged her down onto my lap.
“What are you doing, Caleb? Despite what you think, you don’t own me. You don’t have the right to manhandle me!” She fought the hold of my arms.
“No, I don’t think I own you, but I know I own your heart.”
She stopped struggling, frozen in my lap. Slapping a palm against my shoulder, she burst into tears. “Bastard.”
Waiting for the tears to stop, I held her, wishing I could say the words to stop them.
When she quieted down, I forged ahead. “Why did you quit the crew, princess?”
She sniffled. “Because I couldn’t stand to face them. They were all right about you.”
It hurt she thought that about me. “I’m not that person anymore, Gianna.”
“I don’t know who you are, Caleb.”
I almost said I was the one who loved her. Julie was still in control. With her in control of Gianna, she was therefore in control of me.
Bringing my face down to hers, I whispered, “I don’t want you to be unhappy. I don’t want you to hurt.”
She pushed herself off my lap and onto the cushion next to me. “Too late, Caleb.”
Getting up, she was headed for the apartment door. As she reached down to grab her bag, I shot up off of the couch, knowing what I was about to do was stupid, but unable to help myself.
Enclosing my arms around her waist from behind
, I buried my face in her neck. “Please stay the night with me, Gianna.”
She stiffened and I could’ve sworn she stopped breathing. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Caleb.”
“I need you, Gianna.” I had no idea how long it would be before I could be near her again. “No sex, I promise. Just let me hold you.”
An eternity passed before she relaxed against me. “Okay.”
Her tone was heavy with reluctance. Very carefully, I guided her towards my bedroom, coaxing her to where I wanted her. I knew she was frightened I’d hurt her again.
And I was going to try my hardest not to.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“You know you’re in love when you don’t want to fall asleep
because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
-Dr. Seuss
GIANNA
I allowed Caleb to steer me down the hall to his bedroom. I guess he could sense my reluctance because he threw me a reassuring smile.
What the hell was I doing? Why did I come here tonight? I felt like one of those pathetic girls who put up with whatever crap the man she loved dished out.
So pathetic, Gianna. He doesn’t even love you back!
That was why I came here tonight, because of a misguided hope. I had to admit to myself I’d been hoping if I came to see him, he’d sweep me into his arms and tell me that he didn’t mean it, he loved me and couldn’t live without me. That he’d been dying without me as much as I’d been dying without him.
So freaking pathetic!
But dammit, I couldn’t help it. I was still crazy about him, even if he was only going to hurt me again, I couldn’t stay away from him. Just for tonight, I told myself. One more night.
I wanted answers, though. I needed to know why everything went down the way it did.
Caleb pulled me down to sit on the edge of his bed next to him. As he wrapped an arm around my back and brought me close, I asked, “Caleb, were you just using me?”
“Never,” he said, kissing my forehead.
God, he smelled good. Sitting this close to him reminded me of the time we were always like this. Always touching, kissing, not getting enough of each other.