Still without any alternative or a plan, I pulled my car into the driveway of Gianna's house, turning off the engine reluctantly. Grabbing her suitcase out of the trunk, I followed her to the front door then inside the house.
Where Julie was waiting.
For the past couple days I’d experienced heaven and now I was entering hell.
GIANNA
I shouldn't have been surprised to see my mom standing in the entryway of the house when we walked in, but I was. Had she been looking out the window when we pulled up in Caleb's car?
Her arms were crossed over her chest and she had a calculating look on her face. She ignored me and looked to Caleb. "So, you're finished with her?"
What the hell? She'd really gone insane this time. "Mom, what are you talking about?"
I glanced at Caleb but he didn't seem to be experiencing my confusion. His expression was blank, closed off. He didn’t respond to my mom's crazy question.
I started to get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach and an ache in my chest.
My mom continued, this time addressing me, a softer expression on her face, "Gianna, I tried to protect you from guys like him."
I shook my head, wanting out of this confrontation. "What are you talking about? What on earth could I need protecting from?"
My mom gave Caleb a pointed look and he finally said, "Me."
I laughed, this was ridiculous. "You two are going to have to explain this to me. I don't quite understand. Why would you be worried about Caleb hurting me?"
My mom had a resigned look on her face. "I really wish you hadn't taken off with him like that, Gianna. If you’d only given me a chance to warn you." She shook her head in sorrow. "As your mother, I only blame myself."
I knew underneath all the crazy my mom loved me. She just had so many issues from when she was a teenager and the way my dad divorced her. She needed to let it go and let me live my life the way I wanted.
I moved closer to Caleb. "There's nothing to warn me about. I think I know Caleb a little better than you do."
"No, you don't," she disagreed solemnly.
"Just spit it out, Julie," Caleb muttered with a thread of menace in his voice and the coldest look I'd ever seen on his face.
She glanced at him sharply. "Caleb is on probation, Gianna."
"Yeah, I know."
"You do?" Caleb looked at me in surprise before nodding his head, "Oh yeah, Ian opened his big mouth."
My mom was also surprised at my knowledge. Her eyes narrowed. "Do you know what for?"
I crossed my arms, not caring. "No, and it doesn't matter."
"He almost beat a guy to death." she rasped harshly.
I flinched, my turn to be shocked. The thought had never crossed my mind it could be for a violent crime. I’d assumed it would be for possession or something like that.
"It doesn't matter," I ground out through clenched teeth. The determination in my voice had faltered a bit. I stared at Caleb, knowing I had nothing to fear from him. But I was thrown off when he didn't meet my gaze.
My mom shifted, bringing my attention back to her. She seemed more determined than before. "He's a gigolo."
CALEB
I couldn’t believe Julie just went there. It wasn’t entirely accurate, but not completely false either. I opened my mouth to defend myself, but then closed it, thinking of Julie's threats. I had no choice but to go along with whatever the bitch said. I had no idea how she even knew of Claudette.
My dad must have told her. Big mistake on his part, to ever trust a woman like Julie.
As much as it hurt to let this happen, maybe all of these revelations about me would help ease Gianna's pain in the end. Help her to get over me. I'd be willing to take on more pain to lessen the amount she felt.
Gianna's mouth was hanging open in shock. "Mom, that's insane. Besides, what the hell do you mean by gigolo? Is that the old school term for player?"
Julie gave Gianna a serious look, but I could see the triumphant gleam in her eyes. "It means he had a sexual relationship with an older woman and in return, she took care of him. Buying him things, giving him money."
Gianna’s shock turned to understanding as she looked at me with wide blue eyes. "That's where all the money came from."
I didn’t deny it. It was mostly the truth. My parents gave me an allowance, but it was small compared to the rest of my money.
Despite all of that, Gianna moved even closer to me, reaching out to wrap her arms around my waist from the side. "I don't care about that, either. It's in his past." Her voice trembled on her next words, "I love him, mom."
I couldn’t allow myself to hold her in return.
Looking down at the top of her head, loving her all the more for her understanding, it killed me. It was killing me that she loved me despite my past and I couldn’t let her know how much it meant to me.
Julie scowled, but I suspected she wasn’t ready to admit defeat.
Of course she wasn’t.
She stepped closer to us. "You may love him, Gianna, but he doesn't love you."
Evil witch! I hated her more than ever.
"He does," Gianna whispered then tilted her head up at me. She looked so sure. She had reason to be. Everything I’d ever done for her had proven the love I hadn’t been able to admit to.
"Ask him," Julie demanded.
Gianna blushed, embarrassed by the situation we’d found ourselves in. "Tell her she's wrong, Caleb."
This was where it ended. If I told her I loved her, Julie would lose this battle but win the war by sending Gianna to Houston. If I denied loving Gianna, we’d be over but Gianna could at least return to the life she had before me.
Staring into her eyes, I told Gianna in a steady voice, "I can't."
Gianna's smile faltered and I sensed Julie struggling to contain her glee. "Of course you can," Gianna assured me.
I would have loved to. I couldn't. There was no other choice.
Everything in my past seemed so trivial, unimportant compared to what was happening at this very moment. I braced myself for the biggest lie of my life.
Looking straight into her confused eyes, I attempted to control my chaotic emotions. "I don't love you, Gianna."
She flinched, her arms dropping to her sides, and backed away from me. "Maybe it's too soon, but you're falling in love with me." Her voice turned hopeful by the end of the sentence.
I shook my head as if I pitied her. I pitied us both. "I'm not. I won't."
On the verge of tears, she asked, “After everything we’ve been through?”
“No.”
She broke eye contact to stare down at the floor. Her entire body stiffened, like she was holding herself in check. I shot Julie a look of pure hatred that passed right over her. Her eyes were glowing in triumph. Gianna’s head was still bowed as her mom’s expression turned hard, letting me know she wouldn’t back down.
Still looking at the floor, Gianna asked, “Do you really even want to be with me?”
Clearing my throat, I took my time answering, hating the lie I was about to utter. “Not anymore. We had fun, but I think it has run its course.”
I expected her to start crying at any moment, but when she looked back up at me, she wasn't crying. I thought she’d rage at me. According to my callous words, I deserved it.
She didn’t know I would tear out my heart to make hers stop bleeding.
Gianna's voice was emotionless, her face expressionless, as she finally said, "I don't want to ever see you again, Caleb."
With that parting shot, she dashed past her mom and up the stairs.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain.”
-Jennifer Aniston
GIANNA
Climbing up the stairs, once out of sight, I ran to my room. Slamming the door shut, I belatedly worried about waking up Chance. My chest felt like it was about to explode.
I couldn’t breathe.
Was this what hyperventilating was?
I still wasn’t crying. Shouldn't I be crying? Didn't people cry when they had a broken heart?
Maybe it was shock. That was it, I was in shock.
What just happened? Did that just happen? Maybe I was still at the hotel in Las Vegas.
Asleep.
Dreaming.
Oh god! Please let this have been a nightmare.
I heard yelling downstairs. I cracked open my door to listen to my mom yelling at Caleb to leave the house.
Please don’t leave.
Seconds later¸ the front door slammed shut. I rushed to my bedroom window to look down at the driveway below.
Caleb got into his car.
Please come back.
Please tell me you love me.
Please tell me it was all a lie.
His car started. I held my breath.
The red Camaro pulled out of the driveway. I gripped the windowsill tightly.
The pain told me I wasn’t dreaming. This wasn’t an awful nightmare.
He drove down the street, stopping at the stop sign before turning around the corner and out of sight.
My body started shaking with the emotions I was now trying to hold back. It was getting even harder to breathe. I turned away from the window, away from the sight of the empty street.
I looked frantically around my room. Something had to fix this. How did I fix this? How did I stop feeling this horrible pain?
I caught sight of my antique 1980s boombox on my dresser. One of my prized possessions.
As I threw it through my bedroom window, glass shattering, the tight hold I had on my emotions shattered too.
Bastard!
I dropped to the floor, sobbing.
CALEB
Driving from Gianna's house to my dad's old condo a suburb away in Northglenn, I was doing what I’d thought was impossible.
Crying over a girl.
Shit.
Had all that just happened?
Could I have handled it any differently? If only Julie hadn't given me a deadline to get her home. I had no doubt the crazy bitch would’ve had her on the next plane to Houston had I not gotten Gianna home by tonight.
If only I'd had more time. Even now, I couldn’t think of any way out of Julie's ultimatum. I’d had no other choice. If I hadn't broken up with Gianna, then she would’ve sent her away. If I'd followed Gianna to Houston, she would have sent her further away until she was out of my reach.
Gianna wouldn’t turn eighteen for almost two years. Julie could act like a tyrant until then.
Maybe I should’ve told Gianna. No, that would’ve been a mistake. She wouldn't have accepted what must be done. She would have tried to hold on to our relationship and fight her mom. Her mom was determined as hell.
Her mom would’ve won and Gianna would’ve been on the next plane to Houston. Gianna’s entire life would change as she was forced to start over. I just hoped those friends, the crew that were so important to her, were there for her through this.
She loved me just as much as I loved her, I had no doubt. This wouldn't be easy on her. In fact, it’d probably be harder. At least I knew she loved me. For her, I was just an asshole who used her for a good time.
That douche Jared would be happy to hear about what happened.
The lie Julie forced me to spit out was eating me up inside. For Gianna to think I didn't love her made me sick.
Not as bad, but still bad, were the things Julie told her about my past. About the guy I put in the hospital.
About Claudette.
I tried not to think about that part of my past. I’d definitely never wanted Gianna to find out about it. Now I wasn’t only the asshole who used her, I was the scumbag who used her.
Dammit.
Gianna.
She mostly likely despised me now. I knew she had to. She told me she never wanted to see me again.
With the way things just ended, I didn’t blame her.
I’d never regret one second of being with her, though. She was my first love. My only love. My true love. With or without her, she was my everything.
When she turned eighteen, nothing would stop me from winning her back.
Of all the horrible things I'd done to chicks, this was the worst. Whether it was my fault or not, whether I had a choice or not, I’d hurt her badly.
GIANNA
After what seemed like hours of crying and ignoring my mom's knocking on the door, I literally picked myself up off the floor.
Everyone had been right.
Caleb was and always would be a player.
He didn't love me, told me he never would.
He took my virginity and my love so easily only to throw me away. I trusted him too much. I gave him too much of me. Told him things I'd never told anyone else and opened myself up to him.
This had been a lesson well learned.
He'd see that he hadn’t broken me. He would never get to see my pain, my tears, my heartbreak.
Everything had been a mistake from the moment I’d met him.
Everything.
Mistakes could be fixed.
He'd never know how much he hurt me. I’d played a role before, I could do it again.
CALEB
Friday morning, I didn't know if Gianna would show up to school after what happened the night before. I wasn’t really up to going myself after not sleeping all night, but I had to be there just in case she was.
I dragged myself out of a bed that I saw no sleep in. Thirty minutes later, I was back in Broomfield, pulling my car into the school parking lot. As I looked for a parking space, I scanned the cars I passed, looking for Gianna's Jeep.
She probably wouldn’t come. Girls took these things hard. Not that I was taking it any better. I just needed to see her. I needed to see that she was okay.
After parking, I stepped out of my car and leaned against the trunk, waiting for her to show up. If she did at all.
Three minutes before the first bell rang, I was about to give up. Concentrating on the entrances to the parking lot, it barely registered with me when that Seth guy drove by me and waved with a smile on his face.
Were we friends? I didn't think so. After one date with Gianna, I’d kind of snatched her right out from under him. Right out from under Jared, too. Both guys had reason to not be friendly towards me. Not that I gave a damn.
I was still looking at the entrance of the parking lot when I heard a girl squeal, "Gianna!" I turned my head swiftly toward the sound. A group of cheerleaders were skipping across the parking lot like a herd of gazelles. My gaze followed the direction they were heading.
And I saw her.
Getting out of the passenger side of Seth's car.
Wearing her cheerleader uniform once again.
Fake smile plastered on her face.
The old Gianna was back.
GIANNA
And I’d thought school was torture before I met Caleb.
Now it was excruciating.
I ignored Caleb's presence the best I could during the two classes we shared before lunch. But now that it was lunch the questions came. I was sitting with my old friends, the jocks and cheerleaders, all of them eager to have the queen of popularity back on her throne.
I felt like pulling out my hair. I felt like pulling a Britney Spears and shaving it all off. See how much they’d want me then.
At the same time, there was comfort and a sense of security in once again being surrounded by all the phoniness. I'd rather endure their deceptions than ever experience Caleb's again. I could hide from him amongst them. Hide from reality and the pain.
I realized he’d never said he loved me but I still believed he led me on.
My lips had been sealed on the subject of Caleb, but I could tell everyone was dying to know. Even the guys of this clique were gossip whores.
Hannah glanced at me sideways with a smirk on her face. "Your boyfriend is staring at you."
I acted unaffected, even thou
gh I was so far from it. My heart was beating like a drum. "He's not my boyfriend anymore."
She raised two perfectly groomed eyebrows. "Well then, your stepbrother is staring at you. Scowling, actually."
"He's not my stepbrother anymore, either," I forced myself to say.
She smiled predatorily. "So, it's open season then."
I wanted to claw her eyes out. Rip out what I knew were expensive extensions. I calmed myself down on the inside, trying to match my calm exterior. Giving her a skeptical look, I asked, "Didn't he reject you already?"
Bullseye.
I expected her to strike back at me, instead she grumbled, "He's not that hot anyways."
Seth, who was sitting on my right side and had been listening to the exchange, put his half cent in. "Gianna is my girlfriend now."
Yeah, so I called him early this morning, asked for a ride to school and, pow, before we pulled into the parking lot he was my new boyfriend. The kind I’d prefer. The kind that couldn't hurt me.
"Funny," Hannah began and unfortunately continued, "On Monday you were Caleb's girlfriend. You’re out of school for three days and now you’re Seth's girlfriend."
I flashed her a warning look, the kind that told a bitch she’d better back down. Being the reluctant queen of the school was good for something. Power. I could crush her, have her sitting by herself in the library during lunch.
"Nothing funny about it, Hannah. We dated, it's over. Same as it was with me and Josh."
I glanced down the table where Josh was sitting. Him hanging out with this crowd was an unfortunate fact of life. But he could be ignored just as easily as Caleb.
Hannah followed my glance. "Seems like you have two ex-boyfriends pining over you." Josh was staring, too, scowling like Hannah claimed Caleb had been.
Forget them both.
Josh was a sadistic sociopath and Caleb was a narcissistic sociopath. One thought he loved me, the other knew he didn't love me. Caleb only loved himself. There was no room in his heart for anyone else. I didn't need or want either of them.