Josh had never gotten my love.
I’d handed it over to Caleb on a silver platter but he tossed it away.
Like I’d said, forget them both.
Hannah suddenly laughed. "Yeah, you're right. You two are definitely broken up."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, not liking her finding humor in the situation.
Her predatory smile was back, this time all for me. "He's going to town with that chick."
I looked over to where Caleb had been sitting by himself, but no longer was. Matter-of-fact, someone was sitting on his lap. That skank, Desiree, who he’d went on the double date with when I went on my date with Seth. As I saw him kissing her, my eyes darted away.
It hurt too much.
I’d promised myself I wouldn't even acknowledge his existence at school. I wouldn't make the mistake of glancing in his direction again.
My eyes met Seth's. He had a questioning look on his face. I made sure to school my own features. The pain beating inside of me was my own and no one else's business.
How could I have been so wrong about Caleb? How could I still love him so much?
I would not cry. I would not cry. I would not cry.
I’d chant this in my head for the rest of lunch if I had to.
CALEB
I was so busy staring at Gianna, willing her to look at me, that I didn't notice Desiree walking up to me until she was in my lap. When she planted her lips on mine I was startled at first, but then roughly pushed her face away from mine. "Get off!"
She gave me a hurt look, but I didn't buy it. Especially when she tried to kiss me again and I jerked my head back. How could she be surprised by my reaction when I turned her down the night we went on our date?
Some sluts never learned.
Fortunately, she moved off my lap. Unfortunately, she didn't completely go away. "So, I heard you and Gianna broke up."
I grunted in response.
"I'm single," she said suggestively.
"That's skanktastic," I replied unenthusiastically.
She narrowed her eyes at me. "What did you just say?"
I looked at her like she was an idiot. "I said . . . that's whoretastic."
"What?" she shrieked.
"Sluttastic,” I enunciated.
Her face turned red and she swung out an arm to slap me. I ducked, easily avoiding her palm. She marched off and I thought about how genuinely fantastic that was.
What could I say? She’d caught me on a bad day.
I went back to staring at Gianna. My amusement at Desiree's skankness diminished. Seth had his arm around Gianna and I was itching to break it.
What was going on with her? What was going through her mind? How could she pretend nothing happened between us? Did she really love me at all?
Jesus effing Christ! I was acting like such a girl. A stalkerish one at that.
I continued staring her way throughout the rest of lunch period, willing her to look at me. Just one glance would’ve felt like such an accomplishment.
I loved her so damn much. I wanted to snatch her away from the pretenders, take her back to Vegas, take her anywhere I could have her back. That place didn't exist as long as Julie was hounding us. By the time Gianna was eighteen, it might be too late to get her back.
For the rest of lunch period I kept hoping and she kept not looking my way.
When she said she never wanted to see me again, I hadn’t thought she meant it so literally.
CHAPTER NINE
“Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never.”
-Charles Caleb Colton
GIANNA
How could it hurt so much to lose a creep? It defied logic. Why was I cursed to love a heartless asshole?
Everything had come full circle for the cast in the story of my life. I was back in the role I was stuck in before. Ms. Popular Cheerleader who dated the football star. However, the role Josh formerly played was now played by his understudy, Seth.
Caleb didn’t exist in my world just like before when I didn’t know him.
Unfortunately, he still existed in my mind and heart. As much as I’d tried to cut him out of both of those places, the dissection hadn’t taken.
Everything seemed back to normal in Caleb’s world, too. He was surrounded by loads of skanky chicks and getting into trouble at school all the time.
This time, however, we’d added a new villain. Not Caleb, but Josh. Back to his stalker ways, he was always there, always watching me. Or should I have said glaring? He wanted the blonde cheerleader, well I could’ve pointed out a few available and actually interested ones. His psychotic tendencies didn’t need to zero in on me.
I never looked Caleb’s way. For the most part. Not enough for anyone to have noticed.
Anyways, he hung out with what we used to call the misfits; those cool, real people who I totally saw first, dammit!
So, maybe I was envious of that, but then I’d remember that things were as they should be. Pre-Caleb. My fake life was more to my liking. Safe from heartbreak (well, at least further heartbreak) and safe from the realness that hurt too much when it got too real.
It’d been three weeks and I was still waiting for it to stop hurting.
Saturdays were a little different now.
CALEB
“What do you mean, she quit the crew?” I asked Dante, who was on the other end of the phone.
“Exactly what I just said. She. Quit. She’s not even returning Cece’s phone calls anymore. My woman is upset about it. And worried about what’s up with Gianna,” Dante said in an annoyed tone. The fact that my best friend was dating Gianna’s best friend was a godsend.
The only other way I got any real information about Gianna was through Chance and I figured stalking a little kid to get info on his big sister was getting kind of pathetic.
“Well, Chance says that she’s still going down to Denver every Saturday, so what the hell is she doing?”
“Who’s Chance?”
“Uh, never mind.” I quickly changed the subject, “So, what are you doing this weekend?”
“Hanging out with Cece. Gonna go watch the crew at a competition this weekend in Colorado Springs.”
“Oh, well tell Cece and Taye I said hello.” I was ready to get off the phone. I was effing thrilled for Dante, but his relationship bliss reminded me of my own failure with Gianna.
After I got off the phone with Dante, I just sat on my bed thinking. A solution to the Julie problem was still eluding me. Gianna acted as though I didn’t exist and I didn’t blame her. From her point-of-view, I was the jerk who used her and ditched her once he got what he wanted.
But I still wanted her.
I wanted her so badly I ached with it. The brief glimpses of her I got at school weren’t enough. I wanted all of her like I had her before when she’d been mine. She still was mine. She just didn’t know it. If only her controlling mother would’ve realized it too.
That creeper, Josh, hovered near her all the time. I hoped my warning glares kept him off her back. No matter how much I glared at Seth, he still kept close to my girl. Granted, the kid had never done anything wrong, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to beat him. If he rubbed Gianna’s shoulder one more time or if he even thought about having sex with her, he was a dead man.
Damn, that douchebag probably fantasized about it on an hourly basis. I knew I did. The shithead got to hold her in his arms and kiss her lips and I wasn’t even allowed to talk to her. If I punched him hard enough, his lips would be too swollen for kissing.
I was tempted to just go down on my knees and beg for her forgiveness. I’d tell her it was all a lie and that I did love her. So incredibly much it drove me crazy with wanting her. She wasn’t speaking with the crew anyways and they were one of the reasons I’d given in to Julie’s threats.
Of course, her mom could still follow through with the threat of sending her away to live with her father or someplace crazy like Siberia.
; I just needed to be patient and work out a plan.
I lay back on my bed as a plan that would work continued to elude me.
When the clock turned seven, I hopped up and changed out of what I wore to school that day. Tonight was a home football game. I could watch Gianna cheer on the sidelines for hours. My school spirit had never been better.
Keeping my distance from her at the game was hard. I wanted to snatch her up and run away from everyone. When I wasn’t staring at Gianna, I was glaring at every male in the stands who I suspected could possibly be leering at her in her cheerleader uniform. Jeez, the cheerleaders should really be required to wear pants. Loose sweats would’ve been nice. How many of the grown men here tonight had gotten a hard on for the cheerleaders?
I also scowled at the football players. I hated them all for the clean-cut image they gave the parents, like they were good guys just because they played a sport. Why couldn’t parents like Julie realize the only difference between them and me was a jockstrap?
My favorite person to glower at was Seth, the current boy-next-door who Julie approved of.
Yeah, Chance told me things. Freaking loved that kid.
Maybe I should join the football team.
When the game was finally over, I watched Seth rush over to Gianna and pick her up in a bear hug. Besides pissing me off, it made me think about when her nude body was pressed up against mine in Las Vegas. Crap, now I was hard!
I discreetly followed Gianna out to her Jeep after the game. I didn’t want her to see me, but I wanted to make sure she made it there alright and hassle-free. There were too many potential perverts on the school grounds.
As she passed by my car, she kicked the bumper, hopping around on one foot in obvious pain. She’d done more damage to her foot than my car. I bit my lip to keep from laughing.
Maybe she was hurting as much as me, despite the indifferent face she put on for the world.
After driving past her house and seeing her bedroom light on a half hour later, I drove to my dad’s condo twenty minutes away.
Our bachelor pad.
Sparsely furnished, the place was depressing. I sat around moping over Gianna while he sat around moping over Julie. He’d said he didn’t understand how you could spend three years with a person and not even know her.
My dad received divorce papers from Julie the other day and his expression when he told me was crestfallen. There might have been tears in his eyes before he went up to his room to be alone. Julie was exorcising my dad out of their lives the same way she had with me.
*****
Saturday night, I called Hailey.
She answered with, “So, did the prom queen dump you?”
“It wasn’t like that, Hailey, and is that any way to greet an old friend?”
“I’ll take that as a yes. Told you she would realize she was too good for you and kick you to the curb.”
“If all you’re going to do is make me feel worse than I already do, then I’m hanging up. I thought as an old friend you’d want to console me while we get wasted, but I guess maybe I was wrong.”
“Hold up!” She hastily replied. I smiled, knowing Hailey could never resist anything involving alcohol. Sometimes I worried about the girl’s future.
“I’ll pick you up in an hour,” I informed her.
“Okay and, um, sorry about the breakup and whatever.”
“That’s more like it.” I hung up and took a quick shower. Thirty minutes later, I was saying goodbye to my dad then pulling my car out of the driveway.
Approximately thirty more minutes later I was parking in front of Hailey’s place, texting her to come down. “Where we going?” she asked as she closed the passenger door.
“I don’t know. I’ve been out of it for awhile. Where do you think?”
She got a sly look on her face. “Well, there’s this new club I went to last weekend that was pretty cool.”
Therefore, fifteen more minutes later found us entering the new club Hailey had recommended. After dancing to one song, we were at the bar working on the getting wasted part of the night.
I’d drunk three beers before Hailey nudged me and shouted over the music, “I have something to show you.”
The thought flashed through my head that she was trying to hook up with me again. Instead of grabbing my crotch or something like that, she swiveled around on the barstool she was seated on and pointed out to where one of the club’s dancers was up on a low platform.
It was my Gianna.
She was about to be spanked, not in a fun way but in a way that really hurt. I’d barely noticed the clubs three dancers when we’d entered. Had she been there before?
I looked over at Hailey in time to catch her victorious smile. She’d known. She already knew Gianna worked here, that I’d be shocked to see her tonight. What a great friend. Guess Hailey was still a little peeved about my rejection and wanted to hurt me back. This was why I mostly had guy friends. They rarely acted like bitches.
So, what did I do now? This reminded me of the first time I found Gianna at a club. That time had been innocent enough, just dancing with her crew. I’d had no claim on her back then, and blackmail was the only way to get her into my life as more than just a stepsister. I hadn’t even known what I was subconsciously doing at the time. The whole list had been an excuse to spend more time with her, get to know her better.
Did I have a claim now? Did I have the right to be pissed off at my ex-girlfriend for dancing at a club?
It wasn’t like she was stripping, but she wasn’t fully clothed in my opinion, wearing skin-tight black shorts, black furry boots up to her knees and a tight tank top with the club’s name printed on it. She was like a dancing promotion and wet dream wrapped into one. The style of dancing wasn’t exactly slutty, but then it didn’t take much for Gianna to look sexy.
I ordered another beer from the bartender.
I tried ignoring Hailey’s taunts. She was really enjoying this.
Although it was another night I could sit and watch Gianna, I didn’t appreciate the opportunity. Once again, a bunch of random males got to watch her too. Just great.
Hailey nudged me again. “Just wait. If what happened at the end of the night last Saturday happens again, you won’t want to miss it!”
I glared at her, making her laugh. Why did I ever hang out with this bitch?
So this was why Gianna quit the crew, for a job like this that she didn’t even need? Didn’t she know I’d eventually go to this club and see her here? Had she noticed me here tonight yet? Crap! What if she saw me with Hailey? I planned on getting her back someday and didn’t want her thinking I’d hooked up with Hailey while we were apart.
Not that she ever looked my way at school anyways, but she sure wasn’t now. She probably hadn’t spotted me. The bar area was dark compared to where she was under the lights. Plus, she didn’t seem to really pay attention to any of the guys who were loitering around her. She was simply intent on her dancing and the beat of the music.
What did Hailey mean by that end of the night remark? Was that when they poured water on the dancers or something? If so, I was hauling Gianna down from there. I leaned in and shouted in Hailey’s ear for her to elaborate but she shook her head, grinning like a maniac. Bitch.
I was drunk but not wasted as planned. Since there was the promise of more in store that night, I figured I shouldn’t get too sloshed.
So, at one in the morning I was still sitting at the bar, waiting for the night to end. The club was hopping and people were reluctant to go home. Gianna was still dancing. I was still slowly drinking. Hailey was still being an uninformative bitch, taking off now and then to dance with various guys, mostly just getting free drinks out of them.
The club closed soon, and I hoped my misery would end with the festivities. My hopes weren’t very high, though. Life had sucked lately. I’d spilled some beer and was placing napkins on it when Ian walked up.
My archenemy entering the scene made my night co
mplete.
Ian leaned back against the bar, near Hailey and me. She gave him a dirty look he didn’t acknowledge. A year or so back he’d hit it and never returned her calls afterwards.
“Hey, Caleb, isn’t that your girlfriend dancing up there?” Ian asked nonchalantly.
I greeted him with, “Go away, dickhead!”
“Oh wait, I forgot! That’s my girlfriend!” He smiled maliciously and moved away towards Gianna.
My Gianna.
I glanced over at Hailey and her matching malicious smile.
Oh, hell no.
I followed Ian, catching up with him just as he grabbed Gianna by the waist and she gripped his shoulders. He helped her down off the platform and onto the floor below. As they were facing each other, smiling, I stood to the side of them, not smiling.
That was when Gianna finally noticed me. She looked startled, so I guess she hadn’t known I was here at the club.
CHAPTER TEN
“I got my eyes on you. You’re everything that I see.
I want your hot love and emotion endlessly.”
-Hold on, We’re Going Home by Drake
CALEB
I stared at where Ian’s hands were still gripping Gianna’s waist. “Get your filthy hands off her!”
Ian, never one to back down, especially from me, turned to face me, arm now around her waist. “Quit cussing in front of my girlfriend.”
Gianna shifted uncomfortably. As she should. She placed a palm on Ian’s chest. “Let’s just go.”
Ian tilted his head down to look at her. “Okay, babe.” As if the confrontation was over, Ian, hand at the small of her back, began leading her away.
Instead of heading for the exit, they stopped in front of a set of black double doors with the words Staff Only painted in white on them. Naturally, I followed them there. Gianna slipped inside while Ian leaned against the wall to the right of the doors, obviously intent on waiting for her.
As I stopped five feet from the doors Gianna had disappeared through, someone bumped into me from behind. Whipping around, I faced a Hailey with a shit-eating grin on her face.