After putting away my cell, I dialed Ben’s number from my office phone and massaged my temples as it rang.
“Elizabeth, babe!” he shouted into the phone.
“Dear God, I’m not your babe. What do you need, Ben?”
“Aw, don’t be like that. I told you the other night that I thought we should grab dinner. I’d like to see you, for old times’ sake. Please. I want to talk to you about some things.” His voice took on a tone that I hadn’t heard in years. It was the same way he used to talk to me when we’d dated in college and he’d wanted to get his way on something. He sounded like a child, and I wondered how I’d ever found that stupid tone endearing.
“What things exactly?” I pressed, unsure of where he was headed.
“Come on, Elizabeth. Just have dinner with me.”
“I really can’t. I don’t have time. I’m under a production deadline, and I’m going to be at the office late for the next few weeks.”
“I can come there then. For lunch? How about today?”
“Today?” I practically choked on the word as it left my mouth.
“Or tomorrow,” he said.
He clearly wasn’t going away. I glanced at my calendar and noted that I had forty-five minutes free this afternoon.
“Ben, I have thirty minutes free today at one, and that’s it. Come here, and get this over with, or stop calling me. I’ll leave your name with security.”
“I’ll see you at one,” he said before ending the call between us.
I stared at my computer, not having any idea what Ben would want to talk about after all this time. Obviously running into me that night had shifted something in him that it hadn’t done to me. Then again, he was male, and males tended not to really deal with issues right away—at least not in the same respect that females did. We would process things and deal with them immediately before moving on. Guys would only handle their emotions once they were forced to.
Seeing Kate’s name on my call log, I considered calling her for a brief moment, but I decided to wait until after my lunch with Ben. Maybe he would have some insight as to why she was calling me after all this time. What the hell was it about this family? One chance encounter after eight years, and they were suddenly blowing up my phone like we were old friends.
My cell phone vibrated inside my purse, and I reached down for it, noting another text from Daniel.
I hope you’re having a great day. I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s fucking horrible. What have you done to me?
I smiled softly before turning off all notifications and setting the phone on top of my desk. Everything he did distracted me. Instead of reading the rest of the script sitting on my desk, all I wanted to do was pick up the phone and hear his voice. It seemed his face filled my mind every time my eyes were open.
It was official. Daniel had ruined me. I had to make it stop.
Between Daniel wrecking my life and waiting for Ben to arrive, I was so twisted up with anxiety that I thought I might fall apart. I wanted to get whatever this was with Ben over with, so I could go back to focusing on work, if that were possible anymore.
“Elizabeth? Ben is downstairs at security.” Barbara’s voice filled my office.
“I’m on my way. I’ll be back before my call with Vancouver.”
“Sounds good. Call me if you need a rescue.” She looked at me, her face serious.
I found Ben waiting by the security podium with his hands in his pockets. His face lit up when he caught sight of me, and I wanted to punch him in the stomach for it. He’d lost the right to light up for me when he went down on my roommate, Kim.
“Thanks for seeing me.” He smiled and moved to give me a hug.
I slowly backed away and shook my head, and he tucked his hands back in his pockets.
“You didn’t really give me a choice. My assistant says you’ve been calling like crazy. What the hell do you want, Ben?”
Eight years of absolute radio silence, and now, he won’t go away. Not a single word spoken since that day in my living room, but now, he’s standing in front of me at my work as if we were old friends.
“Let’s go somewhere to sit first.” His eyes pleaded with mine.
I started to walk us in the direction of the studio commissary where everyone ate.
Once inside, I grabbed a tray and filled it with food. Ben followed my lead, filling his own tray with a premade sandwich, chips, cookies, and soda, before paying at the register. I led us toward a private dining area that I knew would be mostly vacant. The fact that we were at my place of employment irritated me enough. In case Ben caused some sort of scene, I didn’t want any witnesses.
Opening the heavy wooden doors, I breathed out in relief at the empty space and chose a table near the back of the room. Sitting down, I glanced at the clock on my cell phone, knowing time was running out.
“So, what’s up?” I asked between bites of salad.
“I miss you,” were the first words out of his mouth.
I almost fucking choked. “You miss me? Are you high?”
His hand reached across the table, and I glared at it as I briefly considered stabbing it with my fork before moving my annoyed gaze to his face.
He pulled his hand back. “I know I have no right to you anymore, but seeing you the other night brought back all these feelings and emotions. I never got over you, Elizabeth.”
“You sure seemed to get over me just fine,” I sneered.
“How would you know?”
His face softened, and for a brief moment, I actually considered that he believed his words.
“We haven’t spoken a single word in over eight years, Ben! Eight fucking years! I’m pretty sure you’ve been perfectly over me.”
“You’re mad,” he countered.
I gagged. “You’re insane.”
“Are you over me?”
“Are you serious right now?” My eyes widened with my surprise.
“As a heart attack.”
I wanted to vomit all over his plate when he said those stupid words. He used to say that line all the time in college, and I’d hated it then. Of course he still used it now.
“Ben, I’ve been over you forever. You and I happened a lifetime ago. I don’t even know that girl anymore.”
“That’s not what I’ve heard.”
“What the fuck are you even talking about?” I bristled as my anger started to rise.
“I’ve heard you never got over what I did to you.”
I leaned forward, my elbows resting firmly on the table. “I got over what you did to me years ago. Do you hear me? Is it registering?” I knocked my knuckles against his skull.
“But I heard that I totally fucked you up, that I ruined you.”
A strangled laugh escaped my lips. “I’m sorry, but no, you didn’t. It wasn’t about you or what you did or the fact that you cheated on me, fucked my roommate, or any of that. I got over all those things way quicker than I’d anticipated. The only thing that stayed with me were your words. It wasn’t even that it was you who had said them. It was just the fact that they had been said at all. They’d definitely affected me, but as you can see, I’m doing all right in spite of them.” I forced a tight-lipped smile.
“You certainly are. I’m really proud of you, Elizabeth.”
“No. I don’t need you to be proud of me. You don’t get to be proud of me. It feels like you’re somehow taking credit for what I’ve accomplished, and I refuse to give you that.”
He leaned back and ran his fingers through his thinning hair. “I didn’t mean it like that. Shit. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for everything that happened in the past.”
“Listen, Ben, I needed that apology eight years ago, but I don’t need it anymore. Like you said, it’s in the past.”
“I don’t think it is for me.”
“What are you trying to say?” I asked, truly wondering what the hell he was getting at as my appetite all but disappeared.
He blew out
a long breath. “I don’t have closure.”
“You don’t have closure? For what?” I shook my head as confusion spread through me.
“For us. We don’t have closure.”
“Oh.” I paused. “Seriously? You suddenly need closure? I’m closed. We’re closed. We have the most closure you can have. It’s called you-cheated-on-me-by-screwing-my-roommate-on-the-kitchen-table kind of closure. It’s very specific.”
“I’m sorry. I just didn’t think. I mean…” He stumbled on his thoughts. “I’ve thought about you so many times over the years, and I wanted to reach out to you, but I never knew what to say. Then, seeing you the other night with Daniel and seeing how great you look—”
I put up a hand. “You don’t have to do this, okay? We have a history and a past, and it was the first time seeing each other since everything had happened. I guess it’s understandable that some sort of residual feelings might still be there, but you really need to move on.”
“Like you’re doing with Daniel?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“You’re right.”
“Speaking of though”—I took a drink of my iced tea—“do you know why your sister is calling me?”
His face twisted as his eyebrows pinched together. “Kate’s calling you?”
“Apparently.”
“It’s gotta be about Daniel.” His hand moved to cover his mouth.
“I figured as much. Any idea what about exactly?”
“Honestly? No.”
“I should tell you one more thing,” he looked me in the eyes, “while I’m being completely honest.”
“What?” I asked, having no idea what else he possibly needed to tell me.
“It wasn’t an accident that I ran into you guys that night.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been trying to get Daniel to invest in something that I’ve been working on with my associates. He turned it down, but I wanted to try to convince him to give it another shot. I found out where he was having dinner and waited for him to come out.”
I stared at Ben’s face and knew he was telling the truth. Ben must have been the person Daniel told me about that night he was upset outside my apartment. It made perfect sense that Ben wouldn’t be the type to listen; his arrogance had always been his downfall.
Lost in my thoughts, Ben continued, “I had no idea he was with you though. I promise. And once I saw you two together, I forgot about why I was there in the first place.”
“You’re not going to ask me to talk to Daniel for you, are you?” I said with a slight grin.
“The thought had crossed my mind,” he admitted.
“You know I won’t do that. If Daniel said no, I’m sure there was a good reason. He’s not an idiot, especially when it comes to good investments.” I couldn’t help but smile, finding it ironic that Ben had chastised me all those years ago for being too driven and invested in my future, but here he was, trying to convince Daniel that he was worthy of the same thing; being invested in.
Glancing at my phone again, I noted the time. “Ben, I’ve gotta get going. I have a meeting. We’re done here, right? This is done? No more phone calls?”
He lowered his head and nodded. “Yeah, we’re done here. I really am sorry for being such a jackass back in college. The things I said to you were wrong.”
“I appreciate the apology. Thank you.” I smiled, and for the first time when it came to Ben, it felt genuine.
31.
ELIZABETH
Barbara met me in the hallway, and I glanced down at my still silenced phone. Another text message from Daniel had appeared during lunch with Ben, but I hadn’t read it until now.
You’re not ignoring me again, are you? You know how well that worked the first time. Call me when you get a chance. I’m not desperate, I swear. Okay, maybe i’m a little desperate.
Knowing that Daniel tended to do rash things, like show up at my office unannounced, I decided it would be in my best interest to send him a quick text message, so he wouldn’t do something crazy, like come down here. The last thing I needed today was for Daniel to be here once this screwed up workday ended. I mentally noted how differently I had felt about him mere hours ago.
I’m slammed with meetings all day. Won’t be out of here before seven. Call you then.
As I turned off my screen, Barbara whispered, “Kate called again. She says it’s important that she speak with you sometime today. To be honest, she sounds fucking nuts.”
I sucked in a breath as we entered my office. “What the hell? If she calls again, just tell her I’m in a meeting until six, and I’ll call her after.”
She nodded. “I will. How was lunch with Ben?”
“Idiotic and overdramatic.” I gave her a quick glance before grabbing a folder from my desk.
“Bob wants to take the Vancouver call in his office,” she directed.
I nodded. “Sounds good. See you in about an hour.”
****
The call with Vancouver had gone well, and I’d forced myself to remain focused by taking notes I didn’t need. I’d had all the location scouting and stage information already, but I’d needed to concentrate to ensure that my mind wouldn’t drift away to thoughts of Daniel. What had happened this morning could never happen again—ever.
After sending Barbara home for the night, I closed my office door and stared at Kate’s number. I guessed the only way to figure out just what she wanted was to call her and ask, just like I’d done with her brother earlier.
The phone rang three times before Kate answered. “Hello?” She sounded out of breath and barely audible.
“Hey, Kate, it’s Elizabeth.” My tone reeked of confusion and unknowing.
She started crying at the sound of my voice. “Hi, Elizabeth.” Her voice shook. “It’s been a long time.” She sniffed and sucked in a few shaky breaths.
Good Lord, what have I gotten myself into?
“What’s going on, Kate? Are you okay?”
“No. No, I’m not okay. I’m not okay at all.”
I threw my head back and pinched the bridge of my nose. I did not have time for whatever theatrics were about to occur. Bracing myself, I asked the million-dollar question, “Kate, are you going to tell me what’s wrong, or do I have to guess?”
“It’s Daniel.” She sobbed into the receiver.
“What about him?”
“You can’t have him, Elizabeth. I love him. I’ve been in love with him for years. Then, he meets you, and he just up and dumps me.” Her voice rattled as her excitement grew. “No warning, no nothing. I hadn’t seen it coming at all. One day, we were together, and the next, he never wanted to see me again.”
Holding my breath, I waited for her thoughts to finish. When I was fairly certain she was done, I almost didn’t know how to respond. On one hand, I felt awful that Kate was hurting, but on the other, I didn’t owe her a damn thing.
“Are you there, Elizabeth? Did you hear me?”
“I heard you. I just don’t know what you expect me to say,” I replied honestly.
She sniffed again. “I don’t know either. I guess I just assumed since we used to be friends that you would care more about my feelings, but that was probably stupid and naive of me.”
“It wasn’t stupid,” I breathed out, not necessarily believing my choice of words.
We had barely been friends. She was the little sister of my then boyfriend, and since we’d lived on campus at our college, it wasn’t like I’d spent that much time with her or even seen her that often. Then again, it wasn’t as if I hadn’t considered her a friend at the time.
“Then, you’ll do it?” she asked, her tone sounding more upbeat than it had just two seconds prior.
“Do what exactly?” I had zero clue as to what she was referring to.
“Stop seeing Daniel. You’ll break up with him?”
“Uh…” I paused, unsure of how to respond.
“You won’t. You don’t
care about how I feel. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I haven’t been able to function since he left me,” she wailed.
I squeezed my eyes closed with the sheer force of the drama, wishing this were all a bad dream. I reopened my eyes and blinked, but I wasn’t in my comfortable bed at home. Cradling the phone between my ear and shoulder with Kate’s crying echoing into it, I realized this was a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from.
“Kate, look, I’m really sorry that you’re hurting, but I don’t see how this has anything to do with me.”
“You’re joking, right? This has everything to do with you! Everything!” she screamed.
I wondered how the fuck Daniel had ever put up with this crap—let alone, how I’d gotten somehow involved in it.
“This is something you should be talking to Daniel about, not me.”
“He won’t take my calls. He refuses to speak to me!”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“Get him to talk to me! Please? Tell him to hear me out. He owes me at least that much. I wasted two years of my life, for Christ’s sake!”
“I’m really not comfortable with that. Like I said, I’m sorry you’re hurting, but this isn’t my problem.” My head started to ache.
“Don’t you have a heart? I know you do. I realize that it’s been a long time, but I know what kind of person you once were. You used to care about other people, Elizabeth and I’m sure you still do. The old you wouldn’t want to see me hurting like this. You’d want to fix it. I refuse to believe that you’ve changed that drastically,” she stopped speaking and I stayed silent, listening to the sound of her breathing before she started up again. “I know my brother hurt you. You didn’t deserve it, but neither do I. I know you can relate to how betrayed I’m feeling.”
The idea of her comparing whatever she’d had with Daniel to my relationship with her brother caused me to bristle in my chair. “You’re right about a lot of things, but I don’t think that your situation with Daniel was anything like my situation with Ben.”
“Maybe not exactly, but I was still invested in what we had, and I love him. I love him, Elizabeth. Can you say the same? Do you love him?”