Chapter Eleven
The sun set slowly, hues of orange, pink, and red spreading across the sky. It sank behind the mountains, its colors radiating throughout the forest, casting dancing shadows on leaves and brushes. The wind blew gently, fresh and clean, renewing the cycle of life.
Most of the campers had long since left the area, disturbed by some unknown sense of distress, as if something dangerous lurked nearby. Two missing campers who had been panning for gold had never been found despite a search of the area on horseback, by helicopters, and with dogs. The search-and-rescue teams found themselves heavy of heart, an oppressive burden on their chests making it nearly impossible to breathe. All of them secretly wanted to get out of the area.
The barrier Dayan had erected was a good one, and Darius had reinforced it when he rose several nights previously. The bus had also finally been repaired.
Julian became aware of his heart and lungs beginning to function, of the sound of another heart beating close to his. Carefully he scanned the area above and around him to ensure they were alone and free from danger. He checked for blank spots that might mask the presence of the undead. Then he opened the earth above them to reveal the swaying canopy of branches and the night that belonged to him. He moved in a slow, careful stretch to feel his body out. The movement brought him in contact with soft skin and silky hair. He inhaled deeply, bringing her fragrance into his lungs.
Desari. It was a gift, a miracle he had been given that he would never again wake alone. He would never again roam the earth, always alone. His fingers touched the ebony strands, brought them to his mouth. How would he tell her the truth? He could never give her up. Julian had been strong enough to separate himself from his twin, from his people, but he did not have the strength to walk away from Desari, even if every moment in his company would be fraught with danger for her. He turned toward her to bury his face in the wealth of her hair.
At once Desari responded, putting her arms around him, holding him with ferocious strength. He could feel her trembling against him. "I thought I lost you," she whispered softly against his neck. "It was far too close. "
He tightened his own hold, molding her soft, pliant frame to his. "I told you to trust me, cara.
You were worried needlessly. "
Her hunger was beating at him along with his own. Both had stayed in the ground these last few risings while he healed and rejuvenated. Now both of them required sustenance. Julian took to the air first, rising swiftly to meet any potential danger to them, immediately. Desari followed only when he signaled all was clear. She closed the earth, leaving no sign of their occupancy, as she followed Julian across the sky in search of prey.
The forest seemed quiet, nearly empty of human quarry. In the bodies of owls, they circled above the trees, taking in a far larger hunting area than they could in other form. Upriver several miles from their place of rest, Julian spotted movement below. He dropped down into the canyon and made a single silent pass overhead. Two males were setting up a tent together, laughing at each other's jokes. Julian signaled Desari to find a tree on the rim of the canyon and wait for him. He continued to circle, scanning the area for dangers, ensuring she was safe before he flew to a tree near his prey. He tucked his wings under him and walked along a branch, his clawed talons digging into the wood. He studied the layout of the campsite, lifting his head to catch the wind's tales of the surrounding forest and river, making certain they were alone.
Desari waited patiently for Julian to feed for both of them. She watched him, finding pleasure in any form he took. What was it about him that drew her gaze like a magnet? He had somehow stolen into her heart and wrapped himself around it until there was no living without him. She didn't really mind anymore. Their species was of the earth and sky, a part of nature itself. She had learned centuries ago, in an ever-changing world, that nature was wild and free, making its own rules and as quickly abandoning them when it no longer needed them. One could not remain rigid. Like the changing seasons, the rising and setting sun, the spinning earth itself, everything changed. Including her life. Julian was now a part of it.
She watched him drop to the ground and shape-shift back into his human form. At once her heart somersaulted, and butterfly wings brushed inside her stomach at the sight of his tall, muscular form. He looked like a warrior of old, intimidating and dangerous, yet handsome and sensual. Desari followed his every movement, the casual, fluid way he moved when he approached the two campers, his friendly smile and softly spoken words hiding the instant enthrallment. He bent his head to drink. She noticed that he was careful and respectful, almost gentle with the first man as he helped him to sit beneath the tree before turning to the second man waiting so patiently for his turn to provide what the soft voice had commanded. Desari found herself marveling at the way Julian treated the humans, almost as if some part of him liked them.
She liked humans. There were many good people in the world. Darius and the other men considered each of them a potential threat, even though Carpathians had the ability to control human thoughts and even implant or wipe away memories if need be. Desari assumed all the males were similarly distrustful. It was nice to realize Julian felt gentleness toward the human race.
Do not credit your lifemate so much, cara mia.
I do not feel the compassion and camaraderie you are capable of feeling. I wish it were so, but I am primarily a predator.
Desari found herself smiling even within the body of the bird. Julian was a shadow in her mind, monitoring her thoughts.
It is the only way I ever hear good of myself, he explained.
Aloud, you prefer to lecture me at every turn. Your thoughts are much more to my liking. I should be more careful. You are arrogant enough. You are crazy about me.
A wealth of smug male satisfaction filled his voice.
Desari tried to keep herself from laughing, but it was impossible. Julian Savage was everything she ever could have wanted. Even his warped sense of humor and overbearing self-confidence were too endearing to pretend otherwise.
You wish I were. You cannot help yourself. Doubtless it is my good looks. And your charming manner.
She laughed again, this time dislodging herself from the tree branch. The owl circled lazily over the canyon before settling to earth, shape-shifting as she did so.
It is particularly your modesty that attracts me. Walk farther into the trees while I release these two from my command. I will not have them near you.
Desari's head snapped up, and her dark eyes smoldered dangerously. She walked away, but she was tired of all the orders the males of her race seemed determined to toss out as fast as they were able.
Has it occurred to you, Julian, that I can sing a binding song and leave you trapped in the body of a bird the next time you choose to shape-shift?
Julian laughed softly in answer, that same male smugness that made her want to wring his neck. He had moved with his incredible speed and was keeping pace beside her with his easy, fluid strides. His arm circled her waist, and he bent to brush the side of her neck with the warmth of his mouth. "You might do so, cara mia, but you would not leave me in such a state for long. Your need of my company would be my freedom. "
Excitement was rushing through her body at the touch of his. He smelled clean and fresh, his clothes immaculate, as if they had not been covered by earth these last few days. His veins were bursting with life, his heartbeat calling to hers. "Arrogant man," she sniffed with pretended indignation. All at once his playful boasting didn't matter. She hungered, her body crying out for sustenance, and mixed with that need was a bolt of lightning streaking through her, turning her insides to molten lava, spreading its heat low and wickedly.
Julian caught her up in strong arms and took her, airborne, through the forest, far from any other being, to a deserted emerald island in the middle of a small lake. He was already finding her mouth with his own, a fiery domination that was met with hot demands from
Desari's silken lips. Her hands were everywhere, pushing at his clothes, insisting he be rid of them. She traced his shoulders, his chest muscles and ribs, the broad expanse of his back. Her fingertips explored his skin, assuring herself there were no lingering signs of his battle with the undead, that he was completely healed.
Her clothes felt heavy and cumbersome, an irritant to her suddenly sensitive skin. At once she rid herself of them so that nothing was between her and Julian's hard frame. He felt so right, his arms locking her close. She burrowed closer, needing to feel him, wanting to crawl inside him, wanting him buried deep inside her. After so many centuries without someone of her own, without a chance for children and someone to truly love her and want her, Desari woke with joy each rising.
Someone to need you, he corrected. His voice was husky as his hands did their own exploration. He dropped to his knees in front of her, looking up at her dark, smoldering beauty, the fire and flame in her. She was such a part of the night, of their world, shining like the moon and stars.
Julian caught her slender hips firmly in his hands and forced her forward so that he could trace every inch of her satiny thighs. He found each and every hollow, her body already committed to his memory for all eternity. It was as if time stood still for him, allowed him a moment from the universe, a moment that would last forever, to be consumed completely by the wonder of woman. The firmness of her muscles, the softness of her skin, the sheen and silk of her hair, the smoldering sexiness in the depths of her coal-black eyes, even her long eyelashes, inky and dark, and the triangle of dark curls that guarded heat and fire. She was so beautiful to him, such a miracle of light and goodness, that for a moment tears shimmered in his eyes before he could blink them away.
Julian rested his head on her thighs, inhaling her scent, while the wind whispered its secrets and teased their bodies. She was a creature of the night, as wild and hungry as he. She was his other half, and yet a part of him could not comprehend that she wouldn't vanish to leave him to be consumed once more by utter isolation, by total hopelessness.
His mouth found the warmth of one silken thigh, leaving a long trail of kisses, every one of them in thanks for what he had been granted. He was still awed by her whispered promise to him as he lay gravely wounded, her voice soft and husky, pure and compelling. There could never be untruth in her, not with her voice. She had meant that promise to him, meant it with all of her being. Had he slipped away to the afterlife, she would have followed him.
Always together. You are not alone. I will follow you.
Her commitment to him went beyond anything he could have hoped for. His hands tightened possessively on her small bottom, drawing her closer to him. Her heat beckoned, her wild scent calling to him to assuage her need. Julian wanted only pleasure for her, for everything to be perfect for her - the night itself, the touch of his mouth, his hands, his body inside hers, locking them together as they were meant to be from the beginning of time.
Desari cried out at the first touch of his lips. Her body seemed not her own but his to caress and touch. To kiss and explore. He was finding places so secret she hadn't known they existed, places of such pleasure that she could only stand helplessly while he swamped her body in waves of earth-shattering ecstasy. She had to curl her fingers in his thick mane of golden hair to keep herself anchored to earth. She was soaring out and away, high above ground while her body rippled with pleasure.
She was gasping for air when his mouth covered hers and he began pressing her down onto the soft ground. His body was hard and aggressive, his hands parting her thighs and wrapping her legs around his waist. His teeth grazed her neck, then traced a path down her throat to find the soft swell of her breast.
Desari pressed closer, wanting to take him inside her, keep him a part of her for all time. Her hunger was raw and aching, a need so intense, she dragged his head up so that her mouth could find his skin. She felt his body shudder, the hot velvet tip of him sliding into her. She thrust with her hips, intent on forcing his complete entrance, but he refused to move, his palm catching the back of her head to hold her face pressed against his chest.
Julian wanted it all, her complete union with him, heart and soul and body. Her mouth moved over his heated skin, sending flames licking over him so that he clenched his teeth and pressed her even closer in anticipation. Her teeth scraped over his chest, back and forth, until he thought he might go mad with need. His hips moved impatiently, but he held back, waiting, prolonging the moment. She bit him, a tiny bite followed by the soothing swirl of her tongue.
Desari!
Her name was wrenched from him, a plea.
He felt her tremble in response to his aching need, felt the moment in her mind. Even as he thrust himself deep within her, her teeth sank deep into his chest. White lightning flashed through them. Electricity arced back and forth, sizzling and melting until they were welded together, one being. He heard his voice shout hoarsely, the pleasure so intense he was unable to stay silent. His hands tightened, one in her hair, the other cupping her bottom. The deeper he drove, the wilder her body's response, the friction of fiery heat gripping and releasing him excruciatingly erotic.
Her mouth was moving in a frenzy of hunger and craving, the rich essence of his life's blood heightening her pleasure. Her body was moving restlessly, wildly, without inhibition, wanting him as deep inside her as possible. He was touching her in places that shattered her earlier, lesser ideas of eroticism. She closed the pinpricks her teeth had made with a stroke of her tongue. At once he caught her wrists and stretched her arms out away from her, pinning her beneath him while he bent his head to her full, creamy breasts. She cried out when his mouth closed over her taut nipple, already aching and sensitive with need. Julian responded by burying himself deeper, riding her harder, keeping them both on the edge of fulfillment.
"Julian, please," Desari found herself whispering, her body coiling tighter and tighter.
His mouth moved to her throat, his teeth nipping her skin, his tongue following. He laid a path of kisses to the underside of her breast, and his teeth found tender skin, gave a brief bite followed by the moist heat of his mouth. She gasped out his name, tried to free her arms so she could pull him to her, force him to relieve her of the flames licking along her skin, the fire blazing out of control between her legs.
Julian held her still, his body thrusting deeper, the lines in his face etched with hunger. The wildness was on him, the heat and need. He rode her long and hard, surging into her again and again. "I want you so much, Desari, just like this, so wild with need you cannot be without me. Feel it, the fire between us, my body in yours where I belong. I am part of you like your heart, like your breasts. " He bent to lavish attention on her nipples, pulling strongly with his mouth. "I never want this to end. "
He was so hard and thick, swollen with his seed and the fury of the fire between them, that her body seemed to be exploding, shock after shock ripping through her as if it would never cease, could never cease. She cried out with the endless climax, afraid if it continued she would die of sheer pleasure. Still-he went on, his mouth nuzzling her throat.
"I want you like this, crying out for me to release you but wanting it to go on for all eternity," he whispered against her skin. "Pleading with me to end this, begging me to never stop. It is there in your mind. I hear you, see your fantasies. I know each of them, and I will fulfill every one. " His teeth pierced her skin, in domination, in possession, white lightning streaking through her with blue heat.
He took her completely, her mind and heart, her body and soul, her very blood, staking his claim as he held her at her climax, until the firestorm consumed him and his body reacted to her desperate pleas. His hips thrust again and again, burying him deep as he poured his seed into her, as he took the essence of her life from her throat. His hand tangled in her hair, holding her still while his body raged its release, taking hers with it, spinning out of control until there was no Desari or Julian,
until they were ecstasy and fire united as one.
Desari lay trapped beneath him, unable to believe the explosion between them, unable to believe he could create such a mind-shattering response in her body. Even now ripple after ripple surged through her, and her muscles convulsed and gripped at the thick length of him.
Julian lay for a moment, his mouth at her throat, before reluctantly closing the pinpricks. At once he bent his head lower so that he could take possession of her breast. She was soft and firm, and with every strong pull of his mouth, he could feel the answering rush of liquid heat between her legs from her very core. Her body was so aroused, the merest brush of his fingers across her breasts had her gasping. He moved his lips gently, without a hint of aggression, a soothing rhythm designed to ease her.
He could feel the grip of her velvet muscles surrounding him, the way her body clutched at his. He continued to move gently, tenderly, alleviating any soreness his rough behavior had caused. "I love the way you feel, Desari, so soft, your hair like silk. It is a miracle how you are put together. " His hands traced the supple muscles beneath her satin skin. "And I love the way you respond to me. "
She linked her hands behind his head and closed her eyes, giving herself up to the gentle rocking of his body, the velvet friction promising to relieve the terrible demands her body was still making. Julian rolled them over in one smooth move, afraid his weight might be too much on her. At once Desari sat up, shifting so that she could arch her back and ride him at her own pace. Each movement brought her closer to her goal.
She liked watching his face, the satisfaction in his smile, the admiration in his golden gaze. His eyes were riveted to her, taking in the line of her throat, her swaying hair and breasts. Julian made her feel infinitely sexy as she rocked her hips, taking him deep within her, watching him watching her. Her body was already rippling with pleasure. Desari threw her head back, her hair brushing across Julian's skin intensifying his own reaction, so that he thrust deeply inside her, over and over, increasing the friction between them until their next, even more shattering release. It was in perfect unison, tumbling them together in a sea of color and beauty.
Desari let out her breath slowly. "I cannot believe the way we are together. Surely we are going to burn ourselves out in a couple of years. "
"The heat rises over the centuries, lifemate, it does not cool," he told her with a taunting, all-too-smug grin.
"I will not survive it," she warned, sweeping her hair over her shoulder, her dark eyes still smoldering with passion.
The gesture was sexier than she could have known, lifting her breasts, her narrow rib cage emphasizing her small waist and fine bones. Julian swept her down to him, finding her mouth with his because he had to find a way to thank her for simply existing, for being so exquisite and perfect.
Desari returned his kiss with the same tenderness he was showing her. He could melt her so easily, the way he could go from wild hunger to such gentleness. Reluctantly she allowed his body to be free of hers.
It was almost too much to bear the separation. And Julian said it was only going to grow, this need she had for him, the intense emotion she was coming to know as what the humans called love. It was not an emotion she could name so easily. No words she knew could describe the strength, the intensity of what she felt for Julian. To keep from crying and making a fool of herself, she rose and walked to the lake, submerging herself in the shimmering water.
Julian propped himself up on one elbow to watch her in the darkness. She swam like a sleek otter, moving through the water with her hair streaming behind her.
He caught enticing glimpses of her rounded bottom, of her breasts, her small feet. Just watching her took his breath away. He ached inside with some unnamed emotion. Then he was on his feet and striding toward the lake, unable to keep still when his insides were twisting in knots with so many unfamiliar feelings pushing in. He hit the water running and did a shallow dive toward deeper water.
He surfaced close to her, needing the nearness. He had failed to read the danger to them several risings earlier because he was so aroused. It was a difficult lesson, one that could have taken Desari's life, had almost cost him his own. It would never happen again. A part of him continually scanned their surroundings. It didn't seem likely that there were many more vampires in the area. Most often those that traveled together temporarily were an ancient or experienced vampire and one or two lesser pawns. The undead, even the lowest of them, could not tolerate company for too long without a battle for supremacy. But somewhere out there was his archenemy, waiting, perhaps watching.
Although he felt certain the human society of killers would not strike again in the near future, either, he would not forget they had also made an attempt on Desari's life.
Desari had several concerts scheduled in the near future, but the troupe would take a well-earned break after this next one. Her family members were already setting up for it, waiting anxiously for her arrival. Desari and he had to cover the distance between them this night. As it was, she had missed her last stop. He wished they could miss all of them. But her concerts were advertised far in advance, and she hated to disappoint her audience. Still, it made Julian uneasy that anyone could know where they were going to be at almost any given time.
Julian glanced skyward. The night was gleaming with stars, clear and welcoming. Water lapped at his body, creating sound in the quiet. A slight breeze rustled the leaves of the trees; bats dipped and wheeled overhead. His world. The night. He glanced at Desari as she paced herself, swimming strongly across the lake. He did a lazy crawl after her, keeping within easy reaching distance of her. She was determined to do this next concert, to put herself in danger, just to entertain humans.
His fist hit the water hard, sending a geyser shooting into the air. It brought her attention back to him. He felt her in his mind before he could censor his thoughts.
"Not just to entertain, Julian. For myself, for my family. For Darius. He needs to keep busy. There has been such a change in him over the centuries. I cannot take the chance of quitting now, when he needs me the most. I told you I felt that way. "
Julian had already told her they would stay with her family so she would not have to worry about Darius. "I am not changing my mind, piccola.
I am simply considering what a pushover I have been with you. You could help me out a bit by learning what obedience is all about. " In truth he was ashamed of himself for putting her in danger, for not being man enough to leave her. Was it not a matter of honor? He had lived for honor, yet now, when it counted most. . .
Desari's soft laughter added to the beauty of the night. "I would not hold my breath if I were you. This will be good for you, learning to deal with my family, interacting with the human race. It will improve your social skills significantly. "
"You are saying my social skills need improvement?" There was a threat in his voice, and he began swimming toward her, his body gliding silently through the water like a shark, like the predator he was.
Desari splashed water at his face and dove deep to escape the arm snaking out for her. She felt his fingers brush her ankle. She kicked strongly, hoping to put distance between them before she surfaced. But the laughter welling up was making it difficult to hold her breath beneath the water, and she was forced to head for the top. At once strong arms captured her.
"I can always find you, cara mia, " Julian reminded her, his mouth warm against her neck. "You cannot escape me. "
"Do not count too heavily on that," Desari told him sweetly, and very innocently she began to sing.
Julian was enthralled by the notes skipping across the water, little silvery notes like leaping fish. He stared, intrigued by the display of power. Did all Carpathian women have special gifts? The few women he had known were far too young by Carpathian standards to have learned the more difficult skills. The notes rose into the air, silver slivers that danced and swayed as if alive. He felt peace stealing into
him, surrounding him, so that his body relaxed and for a moment his mind refused to function beyond drinking in the soothing, peaceful lapping of the water and the purity of her voice. He had never known such peace, not since he was a child.
Julian deliberately ducked beneath the water to clear his head. He was furious with himself. Once again, he was so intrigued with everything about Desari, he had allowed himself to become distracted by the vivid new colors and the overwhelming emotions crowding in. It was much like being reborn. But he needed to be always alert, even when he thought they were alone. He could never forget they were hunted. She was hunted. His lifemate. Desari.
"Julian?" Desari swam back to him, her arms curling lovingly around his neck. "What is wrong?" She was scanning the skies, the area all around them. His stillness, the glittering gold of his eyes, made her shiver.
"You distract me too much, cara mia.
I cannot forget what is most important. That is, above all else, your safety. I will not allow you to be placed in danger again. "
His voice was quiet, that soft, black-velvet voice that was menace personified. Desari could see that he meant what he said. She had been playing with him, teasing him, and just like that, he turned it into a lesson. She didn't answer him, simply dropped her arms, her dark eyes mirroring her hurt right before she closed off her mind to him and swam away.
She had been teasing him, she admitted. But what was wrong with having a little fun? She sensed his inner turmoil, felt how difficult having feelings was on him. He was experiencing everything anew, from sexual need to jealousy, from fear for her to frustration with her antics. And that strange shadowing he was so reluctant to share with her. She had used her voice to provide a concert for him alone, sharing with him her special gift. It had been from her heart, something she never did for another being. Was she so wrong to want to tease him, to soothe him? She was his lifemate and had the same need to care for him as he did for her.
Desari's movements were smooth and graceful as she swam away from him, but Julian was not deceived. Hurt was radiating from her as bright as any sun. He let out his breath with a soft sigh. He had much to learn as a lifemate. He knew the things necessary to ensure her safety and health, yet what seemed so simple a task was not nearly so easy to put into practice as it was in theory.
"I hurt you again, Desari. This seems to be a pattern I do not like in myself, I have seen other males in similar dilemmas, yet I thought them fools not to impose their wills on their women. In truth, it was me who was so clearly the fool. I have much to learn. " He meant every word. It bothered him that he had stored centuries of knowledge, knew how to move the earth and command the seas, direct the lightning and clouds, could hunt the most challenging of adversaries, be they animal or vampire, yet he could not meet his lifemate's needs without hurting her. It was ridiculous. The most important thing in his life, the one person vital to him, the only person who mattered in his existence, and he did not know how to communicate properly with her.
He swam after her, attempting to find words to express himself. How did one strike a balance between safety and play? Even making love out in the open seemed a risk. Yet even now, as they swam across the lake in unison, he ached for her, his body craving hers more and more. It seemed the longer they spent time together, the more intense his hunger for their merging became.
Desari retreated inward. She wasn't angry with Julian; she could even understand him to a point. She was a woman with deep passions and a quick, intelligent mind. She might choose to follow Darius's lead, because most times his way was her way. But no one else, not Dayan or Barack, could command her allegiance the way Darius did.
She did not want the same relationship with Julian as she had with her brother. She wanted a partnership, to be considered an equal with him. Desari instinctively knew she could never be truly happy with less. She wanted Julian's respect, to be able to discuss things and make decisions together, not have him lead while she followed blindly. She had powers of her own; she could be of use to him in times of need if he had faith in her.
Why was it she could see his strength yet he could not see hers?
"Desari?" There was an ache in his voice that sent butterfly wings brushing at her insides. "I know you are upset. " He caught her arm in a gentle grip, halting her flight away from him. His legs treaded strongly in the water, holding them both up, one arm circling her waist, locking her to his larger frame. "Do not turn away from me. If I cannot read your thoughts and know what is important to you, I cannot provide for you. "
Her teeth tugged at her lower lip. Her dark eyes did not meet his golden ones. Even with her face averted, Julian could read the confusion there. She did not want to merge her mind with his. His hand moved up the smooth line of her back to the nape of her neck, his fingers easing the tension from her tight muscles. "I have much to learn, Desari, about the relationship between lifemates. I have such intense emotions - wild and chaotic at times - I feel almost panic-stricken with the fear of losing you or allowing you to come to harm. "
He wrapped his arms tightly around her, holding her against his heart. "Darius was correct when he said I was partially responsible for the success of the assassins' attack on you. I have replayed it a million times in my mind. In my arrogance, I assumed you and the rest of your troupe were human, and I gave no thought to the distraction my presence would cause. Darius felt my power and was busy trying to detect the undead. Later, when you began to sing, I was so caught up in the colors I saw and the emotions I felt, with the excitement of knowing you were in the world, my lifemate, I could not believe it. I think I stood there frozen, unable to move, in shock. If I had not been so caught up in my own emotions, I would not have allowed any assassin to get close to you. "
His thumb traced the line of her jaw, then moved to brush her lower lip. Just the feel of her made his heart jump. "Desari. " His voice was mesmerizing, playing on her soul so that she could do no other than listen. "I have failed you so often, failed to detect danger to you. In all the centuries I have existed, I have never made such mistakes. The last person I wish to fail is you. Can you not understand what I am saying?"