Chapter 1
Two words glared at Melissa Martin from the screen of her cell phone. Two simple words. I’m here was all the text message from Kevin Anderson said. And with those two words, she knew it was time to go. She crossed her room, opened her door slowly and peeked down the hallway. Her father’s bedroom lay at the end of it. The door stood open and she could hear the faint sound of his television. Most nights, her father fell asleep in bed with the television on. She hoped this night was no different.
As she was closing her door, a trio of beeps shrieked irritably from her cell phone. She dashed to her bed, terrified the sound would alert her father, only to find that Kevin was growing impatient. He’d sent a second message identical to the first. I’m here it said again and pressed her. Yeah, I get it, she thought. You’re waiting for me. She found sneaking out on a school night to be laden with enough pressure. His messages were just adding to it.
With a silent huff, Melissa tossed her phone in her purse then slung the bag over her shoulder and moved to her window. She looked out beyond its pane, beyond her own reflection, and into the blackened sky. The sky seemed darker than normal, moonless and foreboding, as if it wished to warn her to stop, to stay inside. She knew exactly what she should do, that she should stay right where she was and forget about Kevin, that what she was about to do was wrong. She did have a good sense of judgment, or so she’d been told. But she was intentionally ignoring it in favor of a first date with the most popular boy in school.
She opened her bedroom window and a gust of cold air rushed in. She hadn’t seen the treetops stir, didn’t know it would be a windy night, yet a strong blast of air had sent her lavender curtains billowing so wildly, they covered her face and temporarily blocked her vision with their flimsy fabric. The unexpected burst ended as mysteriously as it had begun and left her wondering whether it, like the unusually dark sky, was trying to warn her to stay put.
She shook her head and rolled her eyes at the thought of anything other than her nerves issuing a warning. The universe did not care what she did. Her father would, though. She was sure he would not appreciate her sneaking off in the middle of the night to meet Kevin. And if he caught her, he would not trust her again anytime soon.
The thought of losing her father’s trust gave her pause, but not for long. Her phone beeped again as if rashly urging her on. Jeez, keep your pants on! she thought as she climbed out of her second-story window and onto the frost-coated roof of the garage. She slid down its length on her backside until she reached the edge. After carefully avoiding contact with decaying leaves in the gutter, she grabbed hold of an outstretched tree limb. The limb belonged to an old oak that grew alongside her house. She climbed onto it and began navigating the network of branches until she reached the lowest one and dropped to the hardened grass below
She took a few steps and looked over her shoulder at her house. Save for the faint glow her nightlight radiated in her window, the house, and the tree, were enveloped in darkness. Cold crept up her body from the icy lawn. She turned from her house, wrapped her arms around her waist and wished she’d worn a heavier jacket, or perhaps had not gone at all. Either way, she was out already and she did not turn back. Instead, she crossed her lawn and rushed down her street. She moved so quickly, she hardly noticed the humble, uniform houses on Blackstone Drive. Her own home, small and modest like the ones it neighbored, grew smaller and smaller in the distance until it disappeared. She neared the edge of her neighborhood in the unassuming community of Harbingers Falls, New York and immediately saw Kevin’s car.
His sleek, black Infiniti G37 Sport Coupe was unmistakable. Undoubtedly freshly washed and waxed, she reached out for the passenger side lever, careful not to mar the flawless finish, and the internal lights illuminated the interior.
“Hey!” Kevin said cheerfully. “I’m glad you finally decided to come out with me.”
“Hi,” Melissa replied and noticed how Kevin looked impossibly hot, even under the unflattering overhead lighting of his car. She guessed she’d be hard-pressed to find any lighting he’d look unattractive in. He was gorgeous.
All girls gravitated toward him. The combination of his wide-eyed, fine featured face which verged on feminine prettiness and his tall athletic body was the object of most girls’ fantasies.
“Do you think your dad heard you leave?” he asked her.
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Excellent. You’re free then,” he said and smiled.
His smile was perhaps his most attractive characteristic. A single dimple at the center of his right cheek appeared whenever he smiled and made most girls swoon. She’d thought herself one of them, but something about the way he smiled now seemed forced, phony even. For reasons that were unclear, she found it cocky.
“You look hot. And you smell phenomenal,” he said and raised an eyebrow mischievously. He then surprised her by leaning across the center console and brushing his nose against the nape of her neck. He inhaled the sweet blend of vanilla, caramel and coconut, her signature fragrance, that she had applied perhaps a bit too generously. She supposed his gesture was meant to be some kind of seductive move to entice her. But she did not feel roused in the least. Rather, the fluid, flagrant way he flirted annoyed her. He was smooth, too smooth.
“Thanks,” she replied halfheartedly. “So, where are we going,” she asked to change the subject to a platonic topic.
“I was thinking we would go over to the Rec Center and hang out, you know, and get to know each other better.”
She shuttered at the thought of going there. By day, the East Fallkill Recreation Center was an area for activities. At night, however, it was a popular haunt for local teenagers. Her classmates went there to drink and have sex. Melissa guessed that talking was the last thing that he wanted to do. She immediately tried to rebuff his invitation, his womanizing reputation nagging at her brain.
“Why don’t we go to the diner in town? We can talk there, and eat. I’m starved,” she suggested.
Kevin tipped his head imploringly in Melissa’s direction and pushed out his lower lip in exaggerated disappointment.
“I was really hoping we could talk privately. You know, just the two of us. I want to be with just you.”
He reached his right hand over the center console and gently squeezed her knee. Instead of promptly removing it though, he let it linger a moment too long. She felt her stomach churn nervously. She wanted to tell him to take his hand off her and to forget about the Rec Center, that it was the diner or home for her, but was afraid. Kevin was spiteful. He was not used to hearing the word no, much less being rejected by a girl. Her only hope was that he’d meant what he’d said about wanting to get to know her better. After all, he must’ve heard rumors before he’d asked her out that she was a virgin, and not likely to have sex with him on their first date, and in his car no less. She felt compelled to agree with him.
“Fine, I mean, whatever,” she heard herself say. “The Rec Center it is. But I can’t stay long. If my dad gets up and sees that I’m gone, he’ll ground me until graduation.”
“Wow. He sounds tough.”
“You have no idea. Since my mom died, he takes the whole parenting thing way too seriously,” she chattered nervously. “I mean, it’s like extreme parenting or something. He has to know where I am every minute of the day. He worries so much.”
She felt as if she had to exaggerate her father’s protectiveness to set some kind of constraint on their time together at the Rec Center. Her father was a perfect excuse.
“I’m surprised you came out tonight. All the other times I asked, you said no,” he said ignoring the comments about her father.
“You can thank Daniella for that. She talked me into it.”
Daniella, one of Melissa’s best friends, was largely responsible for her agreeing to meet Kevin. Daniella had helped convince her that Kevin was something
he was not. She would not blame her friend in the morning, but intended to dispute her friend’s idealization of him.
Thoughts of the next morning, and yearning for the evening to end already, swirled in her head. She did not dare speak of them. Instead, she sat quietly as he drove, and became increasingly uneasy as they approached their destination. When he finally pulled his car into the driveway of the East Fallkill Recreation Center, her stomach roiled anxiously. He tested the engine of his sports car and sped down the long pathway past tennis courts, baseball fields, a concession building and a football field, before reaching a play area. Just beyond the playground, the pavement extended into an expansive lot. Both the lot and the playground were poorly lit and provided little exposure during the infrequent police patrol spotlight searches.
He slowed then stopped and shifted the car into park before switching off the headlamps. She felt nauseated and dizzy, and contemplated calling it a night when he leaned toward her. She did not know if he was moving in for a kiss, but was relieved when he rested his elbow on her arm rest. He touched his index finger to her chin and smiled his blindingly white, single-dimpled smile, then said, “Hey, I’m sorry about your mom. How old were you when she died?”
She stiffened at his touch, at his mention of her mother. Her mother was not a subject she was comfortable discussing in general, much less with someone unfamiliar. She reluctantly answered, “I was seven.”
“Huh. That must have been rough. I bet she was as beautiful as you are.”
Melissa felt her cheeks flush and was grateful for the extraordinarily dark night sky. She did not like shameless flattery together with mention of her mother. She contemplated a curt response, but came up empty. Try as she may, the words she longed for, ones that would put him in his place, would not come. As she tried to formulate a retort, Kevin surprised her. Without warning, he closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to hers.
At first his kiss was confident and gentle. Quickly, however, it transformed from being unexpected to offensive. His lips began crushing hers. His tongue probed for hers as his hands seemed to multiply, and explore intimate parts of her.
Her body went rigid. He was advancing on her too quickly, and without permission.
“Hey! Quit it, Kevin!” she exclaimed and pulled away from him.
He backed off, but only slightly. He leaned in to kiss her again and cupped her breast in his hand.
“I’m serious! Get off!” she continued more forcefully.
“I just find you so beautiful. I have a hard time behaving myself,” Kevin argued impishly and made no effort to remove his hand.
“I want to go home! Now!” she yelled and shoved his hand off her, finally gathering the courage she should have had in the first place.
“Are you kidding me? What are you some kind of tease?” he accused. “You come out in the middle of the night with me, here, looking the way you do and smelling the way you do and expect me to act like a saint?”
Her mind reeled. She couldn’t believe he was actually accusing her, as if she were wrong for not wanting to be groped. “Hey, don’t blame me. I thought we came here to get to know each other better, like you said.”
“Ha! That’s cute. I love the naive act,” he said bitingly.
“Naïve,” she started but was interrupted.
“Yeah, I think you need to go home now. I’ll take you home, gladly.”
She couldn’t believe he was being so mean all of a sudden. He had acted like he wanted to get to know her. He had made an effort to get her to go out with him in the weeks leading up to the present. None of it made sense. She did not know what to do and wondered whether she should get out of his car and walk home. He seemed abnormally angry given the circumstances. Her hand grazed the lever on the passenger side door. She was about to pull it when he switched on the headlights and slammed the gearshift into drive. He stepped on the accelerator and his well-equipped sports car responded immediately. The car lurched forward then sped down the driveway and out onto the main road. Once on the main road, he obeyed the speed limits, but they traveled silently.
The silence was so loaded with tension, Melissa felt like screaming. By the time they’d reached Blackstone Drive, the frustration she’d been feeling had risen to a point where she did not trust herself to speak without crying. Kevin stopped the car several houses away from hers and turned off the headlights.
He did not say a word. And he did not flash his trademark smile. Instead, he stared straight ahead. She looked at him searchingly, but he refused to meet her gaze, so she climbed out of the car. She had just shut the passenger side door when he abruptly pulled away. She watched him go, watched him reach the stop sign at the bottom of her hill and turn his headlights back on. She then heard the sound of spinning tires kicking up gravel as he sped off into the night. She stood for a moment, after his car had vanished, and felt the tears she had held back for the entire car ride well. She tried to blink them back, but it was no use. She cried silently as she turned and began walking up her hill. Her night had been disastrous. In her heart, she had known it would be; she just hadn’t wanted to admit it.
As she approached her house, she realized her disastrous night was about to get much worse.
Nearly every window glowed. Only her bedroom window was dimmed by her father’s silhouette, which disappeared as soon as he saw her. Her heart sank as she walked up her driveway to the front door. It opened before her key was in the lock.
“I would ask you where the hell you’ve been, but I already know,” her father began. “Do you know how worried I was? What were you thinking? I thought you were smarter than this. Boy was I wrong!”
Her father was not a temperamental man. He was not prone to outbursts. The fact that he was shouting at her meant he was monumentally angry with her, and disappointed. Tears threatened anew.
“Dad, I’m so sorry. I know how angry you are,” she attempted.
“Angry?” he interrupted. “You think I’m just angry? I’m beyond angry! Angry was an hour ago! I was worried sick about you! I woke up coughing and went to the kitchen for a drink of water. When I passed your room and you weren’t there, I assumed you were still up. Imagine my surprise and horror when I realized you were gone! I didn’t know what the hell had happened. I thought about calling the police but tried Alexandra instead. She said she didn’t know where you were so I called Daniella. She answered the phone by asking how things went with you and Kevin tonight.”
He knew everything, or almost everything. He stood before her with his hands on his hips glowering at her. She had never realized how intimidating her dad looked before, how his thick muscles and barrel chest strained against his T-shirt and how a large vein protruded like a lightning bolt down his smoothly shaven head when he was angry. Perhaps she only saw him as the gentle man he was because he had not been angry with her in as long as she could recall. She began to cry.
“I made a mistake, a horrible mistake. I’m so sorry.”
Seeing her tears, her father softened. He placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’m disappointed, Missy. I’m not going to lie. I love you, but I really don’t like what you did.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“You’re only seventeen. What were you thinking? What kind of guy wants to meet you in the middle of the night? You could have gotten yourself hurt, or killed.”
“Or mauled,” she said under her breath louder than she’d wanted.
“Mauled,” he asked and she saw the anger flash in his eyes. “What do you mean mauled?”
“Nothing, I meant nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me again,” he warned. “Did he hurt you, this Kevin guy? Which Kevin was it, Kevin McNally or Kevin Hartwig? Was it that jackass jock Anderson? Whichever it was, I can take a drive over there right now and let him try to maul me!”
“No, no Dad. Everything’s fine,” she lied and felt warmth sprea
d across her cheeks. She was unaccustomed to lying to her father. “I was just, uh, supporting your argument.”
He did not seem convinced. “Melissa, you broke my trust once today. Do not try for a second time. When you lie to me I can’t trust you or protect you.”
The last thing she had wanted was to lose his trust, though she’d known it was a consequence from the start. She hated herself for being so stupid earlier, for choosing to do something that threatened the trust between them. She had been wrong, plain and simple. And earning her father’s trust back would not be easy. She cried quietly.
“Get some sleep, Missy. We’ll talk in the morning,” he father offered with a pained look.
“Aren’t you going to ground me ‘til I’m thirty?” she asked through sobs.
“Nope. I doubt it. I don’t think you’ll be sneaking out to meet that jerk, or any other, anytime soon. But in the meantime, I’m calling Ronnie and Frank tomorrow to see about chopping down that old oak by your window,” he said and winked. “Love you. And please don’t pull any crap like this again, okay?”
“Okay,” she breathed and watched as her father disappeared upstairs. She waited a moment before going up to her room. Once she heard his door shut, she ascended the staircase and went straight to her room. She sat on her bed and a fresh wave of tears washed over her. She felt shame for her bad behavior, and agonized over the days to come, days that included Kevin. He sat at the desk behind her in third period English class. The thought of him looming one desk away from her after the evening they spent together made her cringe. In a few short hours, she’d be forced to face him. She desperately wished she could rewind the night to the moment she’d received his text. She would have made an excuse, or told him her father was awake, anything to have avoided the whole ordeal. But she knew that time continued, that there was no rewind button in life. If there were, she’d go back even farther, to when her mother had been alive. She slumped down on her bed and allowed her body to fall back against her pillows. She closed her eyes and willed the night away. And the night vanished. Within seconds, deep, velvety oblivion enveloped her and she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.