I am in your mind, csitri. You are in mine. You know I will protect you with my last breath. You know that. No matter what I have done to displease you, that will always and forever be a constant you know you can rely on.
Don't remind me you have displeased me. And displeased is a very mild word to describe how I feel when I think about what you did.
Then I regret bringing it up.
But there was no remorse. She kept waiting for Andre to feel remorse or guilt. She found neither in his mind, only the sorrow and regret that she suffered. He hadn't known how hard the conversion was on a human psychic and he wished he'd researched more carefully and thoroughly, but she knew, without a doubt, he still would have converted her. His culture and her culture were very much opposites when it came to what men were allowed to do with their women.
She understood him more after seeing what he'd gone through as a child and the trauma he'd suffered. She could see the reason in his mind that he had held on with honor for centuries and if he didn't bind them together, he was at risk because he was already so close to the darkness of his species. Truthfully, she didn't fully understand that, but she knew it was real enough. Both those reasons were the only things that kept her from fighting for a freedom she wasn't certain she really wanted.
Teagan, let yourself look. Guide the owl. Stay beneath my wing. I will have you in my mind. Nothing bad will happen to you.
She believed him. He was calm. A rock. Steady. There was something so powerful and invincible about Andre that there simply were no doubts. She was safe. She took a deep breath, feeling it inside the owl's body, and opened her vision behind the owl's eyes. For a moment she was disoriented. The owl could see greater distances due to the shape of its eyes and its ability to turn its head. It took just a moment to adjust to that. The ground wasn't as far as she thought it might be, and the owl could see everything, spotting the smallest movement in the vegetation as they moved overhead.
From above, the trees looked beautiful. Breathtaking. She had never thought to see the tops of the canopies like she could from a bird's perspective. Andre was really the guide, keeping the coordinates in her mind so her female owl responded and flew away from the mountain toward the village in the distance. Still, it was exhilarating to see the beauty of the land from her position in the sky and to feel as if she was navigating, even if by Andre's instruction.
So beautiful, Andre. Truly beautiful. There was wonder in her voice and she didn't try to hide it from him. She knew he was giving her gifts from his world in order to combat the things she considered negative.
She felt that he was pleased. More, she felt she was giving him the same gift that he had given her. For the first time in centuries, he was experiencing something he took for granted with fresh eyes--her eyes.
It is beautiful, he agreed.
There was something in his voice that took her breath away. That sent little darts of fire licking down her spine and into her body, despite the fact that she wasn't in her natural form. She understood then that she was still present, and her attraction to him, her responses, started in her mind and moved through her body. In her mind, she still had her body and always would have. She was there, she'd simply mixed up the molecules and made her form something else. She still felt and thought and reasoned as Teagan.
Addictive, Andre. Flying is addictive. Like bouldering. Like you. She didn't care if she admitted it to him. He already knew she thought he was absolutely the best. She could still be angry at him and tell the truth. Okay, honey, maybe anger is fading. Maybe it's all about fear at the things you'll expect from me.
Sivamet.
The tenderness in his voice turned her heart over.
Teagan, I do not expect you to go to ground with awareness. There is no reason you ever have to be aware of it. I can wrap my body around yours and wait for you to fall asleep, make certain you are out for the night and put you in the earth where you will be rejuvenated. I can wake before you, feed you and make certain you are refreshed and in bed again with me before you wake. I have told you, whatever makes you happy and comfortable in our world is what I want to do for you.
She knew he meant that as well. It was impossible to miss the sincerity in his voice or his mind. But still, Teagan's brain played the "what if" game that she always played when she was climbing with others. She always considered herself the weak link. If someone fell or was injured and they were up four or five hundred feet, even in a harness, she would have to bring them down. Of course she'd trained for it. She'd even practiced it repeatedly, but she always wondered if she would panic.
There it was. Panic and fear, her old nemeses. If Andre fought off a master vampire or a pack of vampires, he would be injured. He would need her. Just as her climbing partners would need her in an emergency. She didn't know, even if he trained her, if she could open up the earth and put them both in it.
There is no need to worry about such things, Teagan.
Of course there is. It could happen. It's even likely to happen.
Teagan, you are my lifemate. We share the same soul. You are in my mind and you can pull out information on anything I have done. You would protect me with the same fierce determination that I would use to protect you. It will never matter what you have to do--you will simply do it.
How do you know?
You have great courage. You always have. You are already bound to me, not only our souls, but in your heart as well. It is in your nature to take care of those you love.
You can't know that.
Teagan.
Her stomach plummeted and rolled at the silk and velvet brushing through her mind so intimately.
I am there. In your thoughts. In your memories. You traveled all the way to these mountains alone, determined to heal your grandmother's mental illness. If you could not help her, you planned to move back in with her and take care of her. You are a woman of great courage who will do whatever it takes to care for those you love.
It was absolutely true that she would have moved in with Grandma Trixie and taken care of her rather than see her in a hospital. She would have consulted with the best doctors to learn how to care for her. But she would never, under any circumstances, abandon her. Grandma Trixie had taught her that.
Unconditional love. She'd known that always, her entire life. She'd always had that from her sisters and her grandmother. They didn't mind when she panicked, but it was a weakness--a character flaw--and she'd never been able to overcome it.
She took another breath and stared down at the ground below her. It was far, far below her. She felt the first wave of uneasiness, the tightening that heralded the full-blown panic. She hated being out of control. Hated it.
She forced herself to scan the ground below them, seeking beauty, seeing the landscape from a different perspective. Too far down. So far down. She hated heights. Flying was very cool. Maybe the coolest, but it wasn't her thing. She couldn't be up this high without her stomach lurching and her mind freezing.
Do you know what I would like to do with you right now? You brought the beauty of shifting and flying back to me. You are magic, Teagan, my magic. Still, with all this beauty, all I can think about is kissing you. Being inside of you. That is the most beautiful of all places. You are so perfect.
Her mind and body went from frozen to melting, just that fast. His voice, soft, sensual, mesmerizing.
I especially love your breasts. Your nipples are perfect. I love how sensitive they are. I love how wet you get for me, so ready, and you never hold back. You give yourself to me all the way. You put everything out there for me. So sweet, sivamet. So beautiful.
The terrible panic was gone. She was hot and wanting him, but thankfully she wasn't screaming hysterically.
Wow. She sent the word into his mind when she could find a breath. Not a single one of my climbing friends ever thought to say that to me when I was freaking out. I think it was quite successful.
And true.
There was a trace of humor in
his voice. Mostly it was all velvet and silk. She felt his pride in her and didn't really understand why. You know it doesn't make any sense at all that you feel that way about me. Teagan really felt compelled to tell him the exact truth.
I see you, Teagan. The real you. That is the one I have fallen so hard for.
Her heart stuttered. She knew her reaction to him wasn't strictly physical. She knew it was impossible to fall in love with someone so fast. She couldn't love him. Could she? She knew him better than she knew any other person on the face of the earth, including her family members. She was in his mind and he was right, it was impossible to stop the flow of information back and forth.
She could see his honor and integrity. For him, she really was the only woman in the world and he would do whatever it took to make her happy. Of course, he was arrogant and bossy, but she supposed with his past, his abilities and the longevity of his life, he'd earned the right to a little arrogance.
He was gentle and kind and compassionate. He didn't complain about his life. He accepted the centuries of hunting the vampire. He accepted the terrible wounds and the loneliness that came with that. He accepted her for exactly who she was and with all her failings, with every fault, she was still the only one. His. That made her happy in spite of being so afraid of the future. Very happy.
16
The small village was nestled next to the mountains, sitting in close as if for shelter. It was fully dark by the time the two owls made their way to the outskirts. The rain was falling softly, more than a mist, but not quite raindrops.
They shifted on the very edges, out of sight, clothing themselves. Andre had provided the clothes for her, but Teagan insisted on creating her own very cool designer boots. She'd never been able to afford them, but she certainly had studied them often enough and she could replicate them, so she did.
Teagan turned her face up to the moisture, letting it wash over her face, the feeling against her skin wonderful. Exhilarating even.
"Teagan," Andre said softly. "This is dangerous. You are no longer human. There are people who would murder you just for being different."
Like her own grandmother. Like her own grandmother. The thought of it had a lump in her throat, choking her.
Andre swept his arm around her waist and pulled her beneath the protection of his shoulder. "Your hearing is more acute. Turn the volume down if it gets too much, but listen to conversations. We need information, whether or not Jashari's body was found and who his friends are. It is essential we keep a low profile. That is going to be difficult because you are a beautiful woman and a stranger here."
You are a beautiful woman. That made her glow. "Andre, I hate to have to break this news to you, as much as I want you to believe that, but you're the only one in the world who thinks I'm beautiful."
She slipped her arm around his waist because she liked being so close to him. His arm circled around her. Her arm made it halfway and the angle was awkward. He was way taller than she was. She settled for slipping her fingers into his back pocket. The moment she did, the intimacy of the action moved through her like a soft shimmering fire. She had never wanted--or dared--to do such a thing and yet now, it seemed the most natural thing in the world.
He leaned down. Close. His lips brushing her ear. She swore his tongue touched that sensitive spot just behind her ear. "I have a little bit of news for you, csitri. Men find you attractive. Very attractive."
"You can't know that. We've never been together around other men, unless you call that horrible vampire a man." She gave a delicate little shudder and moved closer to Andre's side. He made her feel safe.
"I read minds. You have memories, and the men are in your memories."
"But they're my memories and I never once thought a man was really attracted to me. So you'd only see that. Right?"
He shook his head.
She stiffened. One hand went to his flat, hard belly. "You can't really do that. Can you? Andre, can you really do that?"
"Yes."
"But that's incredible. How? That doesn't make any sense. Just by seeing other men in my memories you can read them?"
"I told you, I am a ghost. I can get into heads and see everything. I have always been able to do so. Still, I do not think most Carpathians have that ability."
"You didn't tell me that." She felt nearly breathless with the wonder of Andre. He'd given her a gift by teaching her how to shift and then to fly. More, he gave her the gift of not panicking when she always did. But mostly, he'd given her the gift of acceptance. He really didn't care if she panicked. She felt his love for her. It enfolded her. Surrounded her. Wrapped her up until she felt she belonged.
"Andre." She looked up at him. "You aren't a ghost. Don't think that of yourself."
"Everyone else thinks it."
"I'm not everyone else. I see you. I'll always see you."
"Even when you are really angry with me?"
She looked up at his face. It was a beautiful face. Some great sculptor should carve his face in marble. Up so close to him, she could see his dark, thick lashes and the marvelous color of his eyes. So unusual and always changing.
"Teagan."
Her stomach did the familiar flip at the way he said her name. She smiled up at him as they walked along the main street of the village. She knew he was scanning the entire area, taking in everything around them, searching out any danger that could possibly be coming their way. Still, even knowing that, because she was in his mind, she still felt as if his entire focus was on her.
He didn't miss one single thing about her. He was aware of the way she moved, her body brushing against his with every step. He was aware of her hair, down, in the way he liked it, cascading down her back and around her face.
Andre liked the sway of her hips and the way her breasts pushed against the material of her top--the one he'd created for her. It fit close, accentuating her narrow rib cage and tucked-in waist. She didn't really need the lacy bra she was wearing--she really was that small--but he insisted and she suspected she knew why. With every movement of her body, the lace teased her sensitive nipples. It felt delicious and a little bit naughty. The sensation also kept her very aware of Andre and wishing they were back in their cave and alone.
"Sivamet, answer me. Your answer is important to me."
She heard the sincerity in his voice. She was going to have to let go of her anger at him, which wasn't nearly as difficult as she wanted it to be. She sent him a quelling look from under her lashes. "I'm not turning into one of those women who give in to their man just because he's amazing in bed."
His eyebrows shot up. "That has something to do with your answer?"
"Yes." She nearly snapped the affirmative at him. "Of course it does. You cannot make me angry and then flirt and be all gorgeous and sexy. That's definitely in the rule books. When I'm angry you can be suitably cowed."
If it was possible, his eyebrows went higher. His lips twitched, drawing her attention to his beautiful perfect mouth, which immediately made her hungry for his kisses.
"Cowed?"
He repeated the word as if he didn't quite understand it, and maybe he didn't because he wasn't only a different nationality, he was a different species. He managed in his utter astonishment to look even sexier than usual. She sighed.
"Clearly"--she injected sarcasm into her voice--"you are not getting the concept. Don't talk anymore. It's just better than way."
"Csitri."
She closed her eyes. He said that word so softly, his accent twisting the sound of each individual consonant and vowel separately, so the word was musical. The notes slid inside of her. Softly. Gently. Just slipped in and melted her. Her fingers tightened on his back pocket. He was hers. This amazingly beautiful man belonged to her.
"I need an answer. Can you still see me even when you are angry with me?"
He asked the question gently. Softly. Just as melodically as when he'd called her baby or little one in his own language. She knew that, not because he tol
d her, but because the translation was there in his mind.
Teagan looked up at him, her eyes meeting his. What she saw there took her breath away. He looked at her as if there was no one else in his world. As if he wanted to swing her up in his arms and take her back to the cave and have wild, crazy sex with her and then make love to her slowly.
She blushed. She was reading his mind again, not just the telling look in his eyes. "I see you all the time, Andre. Especially when I'm angry with you. You're too sexy for your own good. Well. For my good." Scowling, she clapped a hand over her mouth, as if trying to push the words back inside. "Seriously, I have to learn to keep my mouth shut. You're already as arrogant as a man could possibly be, which . . ." She glared up at him, uncaring that her voice was muffled behind her palm. "It is not a compliment."
His fingers settled over hers, gently pulled her hand away from her mouth, kissed her palm--which sent a million butterflies winging through her stomach--and placed her palm on his flat belly again, his hand covering hers. The butterflies just kept fluttering.
"It sounded like a compliment," he said softly.
She loved his voice. Plain and simple. There it was. Her entire problem. His voice was sexy no matter what he was saying. Okay. If she was being strictly honest, his voice wasn't her entire problem. There was his really masculine, manly, gorgeous face and his rock-hard, muscles-everywhere body. That was a good part of her problem right there--and the fact that he knew how to use his body. His mouth. His fingers. His . . . well . . . everything. And then of course, he was a kickass vampire hunter. That was pretty cool. And mostly, he looked at her with that look, the one that said she was his world. Teagan sighed. He had every reason to be all arrogant and confident. She was falling like a ton of bricks.
For the first time she noticed the rain had begun to fall much faster. No longer mist, it should have soaked both of them, but it didn't. They strolled through the drops without really getting any wetter than if it was still mist.
"Is it really so bad?"
"What?" She was too absorbed in the minor miracle that she wasn't completely soaking wet.
"The way you feel about me. Is it really that bad? You know I feel the same way about you."