I looked at him again with astonishment that he’d agreed to this. This weapon was incredibly important to his mission and he was letting me—a so-called gray—take it for a test drive.
But he was right about one thing—it would take a lot of motivation and strength for me to be able to stab someone in the chest with it. But hurting him was the last thing on my mind right now.
“You are different,” he said after a moment, studying me as we passed under the light of a streetlamp. “Different from anyone I’ve ever met. I wish I knew why.”
Ever? I found it difficult to breathe for a moment. “Is that a compliment or an observation?”
He grinned. “Both.”
Focus, Samantha, I told myself. I couldn’t let myself be distracted by this beautiful, dangerous angel on his mission from Heaven. He was a means to get my soul back; that was the only reason I was here right now. I already had enough painful bee stings racked up this year, I didn’t need another one.
I wished I knew what he was thinking. He kept saying things that made me believe he thought of me as more than just a friendly neighborhood soulless monster. He watched me out of the corner of his eye as if he wasn’t sure how to deal with me being near him.
But he didn’t try to put distance between us. In fact, he was a little too close right now—so close I could feel the warmth from his body. My head felt cloudy again.
I inhaled deeply and let the breath out slowly. “So if I’m helping you, then I’m sort of on your team, right?”
He did look at me this time, his eyes an intense shade of indigo in the moonlight. “I don’t have much longer to find the others, or the searchlights showing their locations will go out. Then I won’t be able to find them at all. They’ll wander the streets not knowing who they really are or why they’re here. There’s not enough time for us to play around.”
Again, he was sidestepping my questions. “I’m not feeling very playful at the moment.”
“You’re helping me find the others, that’s all. You’re not really a part of this.”
The frustration inside me bubbled over. “If I’m not a part of this, why do you need my help? Maybe I should call it a night. I forgot I have some homework to do. Even grays like me need to get good grades if they want to go to college.”
It was a pathetic attempt to get him to say he needed me, that I was in this now whether I liked it or not. A small, scared part of me did want to help him, despite everything. I knew this was important.
“You won’t be going to college if you don’t help me. You’re trapped in this city with the others for as long as you’re missing your soul.”
“Because of this barrier you told Stephen is around the whole city right now keeping grays from leaving.”
He nodded. “If it’s any consolation it contains angels and demons, too. Anything supernatural. Anything nonhuman.”
I gritted my teeth. I didn’t want him to see that this possibility had completely floored me. “Fine. Then I’ll go to a local college.” I glared at him. “I guess it’s different where you come from, but here if you want somebody to do something for you, you’re supposed to be nice to them. Letting me carry your shiny weapon isn’t nearly good enough.”
He glared back at me. “I’m nice.”
I laughed out loud. “Try again. Look, I know you’re having issues with relying on me to do these bizarre errands for you. But you do need me, right?”
He pressed his lips together, his gaze sinking so deeply into me that I again found it hard to walk straight. I took that as a yes. That made things simple, really, whether he agreed or not.
We passed a bookstore with several people standing outside smoking. I tucked the heavy dagger under my jacket until we were out of view again. It wasn’t the most natural thing to be carrying around.
“So you need me,” I said. “And you’re telling me I need you if I want my soul back. And I definitely do. I’m still reeling from what all of this means, but when there’s a problem, I try to fix it. Seeing as this is the biggest problem I’ve ever faced in my entire life, I will fix it, no matter what it takes.”
He nodded. “Then we understand each other.”
Bishop was the most infuriating person—angel, whatever—ever. Despite the chill in my body, my cheeks grew hotter the longer this conversation went in circles. “No, I don’t understand. That’s the whole reason I’m asking you questions—or trying to, if you’d stop trying to avoid them. I need to know these things. If you want me on your side, you have to stop treating me like some sort of weird, stinky thing that you don’t want anywhere near you.”
His lips curved to the side. “Trust me, you definitely don’t stink. You smell very good to me.”
Again, he managed to render me speechless for a split second. I nearly walked into a lamppost, but I managed to swerve just in time. “Well, okay. Then I’m just a weird thing.”
“If you say so.” Amusement fading, he scanned the black, star-studded skies. “Anything yet?”
I looked up. “Not yet. Believe me, I’ll let you know if a bright beam of light suddenly appears. That is, if you stop being so secretive with me about everything.”
He raked a hand through his dark hair, his jaw tight. “Fine. I’ll tell you a few things to do with my mission.”
“I’m listening.”
“Angels and demons have been asked to work together in the past, but only a handful of times. Even though Heaven and Hell are both necessary to keep the balance, we’re not friends. We work together only when there’s a threat that affects both Heaven and Hell and the balance we need to maintain. And there’s a threat like that right now.”
Another chill cut through me. “Grays.”
“Yes.”
“They’re—” I really didn’t want to say we’re; despite the ever-present hunger, my stomach felt queasy just at the thought of it “—really a threat to Heaven and Hell? Enough to send a team of angels and demons to stop them?”
When he met my eyes this time, he looked pensive. “There was a similar situation once before, caused by a demon who had the ability to devour human souls. This ability marked the demon as a dangerous anomaly.”
“Funny,” I said shakily. “I’d think that’s exactly what a demon should be able to do.”
He shrugged. “Maybe in horror movies, but not in reality. Souls are too important to the universal balance. The original demon who could do this was defeated. But now, with the current rise of this particular problem…” He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. “The question is, is this a new demon with the same ability? One who can now spread this affliction like a disease through the kiss? Or is it the same demon as last time? But that would be impossible.”
“Why impossible?”
“Like I said, she was sent somewhere she shouldn’t have been able to return from—somewhere no one returns from.” His jaw tensed. “But if she found a way, then that’s a sign that something very bad is on the rise—possibly worse than what we’re already dealing with.”
I gripped the dagger tighter. “So this demon…that’s the Source you were talking about? The Source of the grays? Like Patient Zero?”
He frowned at me.
I shrugged. “It’s a zombie movie term. The first one infected who then infects others. And so on, and so on.”
“Sounds about right. I’m to personally find her and learn where she came from and what her master plan is—if she has one. My team is here to keep the city safe from grays whose insatiable hunger is putting humans at direct risk.”
I thought it through. “So she’s like a vampire drinking blood and creating more vampires who want to drink blood, right?” I desperately needed an analogy I could understand. Zombies I understood. Vampires I understood. I’d seen a lot of movies about both. Quite honestly, compared to soul sucking, biting necks might be almost fashionable.
He shook his head as we crossed the street at an intersection. “Blood is not a soul. A soul is the very essen
ce of a human life, a precious and invaluable thing. When that human dies, his or her soul remains in existence—immortal—just as most of your religions believe. It’s judged and sent to either Heaven or Hell. Each soul is important to maintain the balance—be it a soul of darkness or of light.”
I frowned hard, trying to process all of this. “Wait. So you’re trying to say, just like angels and demons, that Heaven and Hell need an equal number of souls to keep this balance? Does that mean that it’s a fifty-fifty split? Half of all humans go to Hell while the other half go to Heaven?” Just the thought of this made my heart pound with fear. While I didn’t consider things like this very often, I wanted to do everything possible to avoid going to Hell when I got my soul back—now that I knew for sure a place like that existed. “I thought that if you’re good in life, you automatically get a ticket to Heaven. But you’re saying it’s more of a lottery system?”
“No, it’s definitely not a lottery.” This statement had brought a glimmer of amusement back to Bishop’s handsome face. I glared at him. So nice to know that I helped him find the funny side of this incredibly nonfunny situation. “Souls are… How can I explain it so you’ll understand? They can change as a human lives life and makes his or her decisions. The better decisions one makes, the lighter a soul becomes. The more evil, the soul grows heavy with darkness. Don’t worry, Samantha, more souls do go to Heaven and a human is fully in control of how light or heavy a soul is by his or her actions while alive. Being judged means having your soul weighed.”
I blinked, stunned by all of this. “Like, on a scale?”
“It’s not quite that literal, but yeah.”
I swallowed hard. “So if grays are devouring human souls, then there’s nothing left to go to either Heaven or Hell. And that throws off this all-important balance.”
“Correct.”
I bit my bottom lip and my heart started pounding harder. “So…what does that mean? For me? What happens when I die?”
He didn’t answer. His focus was on the sidewalk as we continued to trudge along. I grabbed his arm and forced him to stop and look at me.
“Bishop, what does it mean if I die without a soul?”
His jaw tightened and he looked away, scanning the street, before meeting my eyes again. “If you’re careful you won’t have to worry about that for a long time. Besides, I agreed to help find a way to restore your soul.”
That didn’t set my mind at ease in the slightest. Fear raced through me. “But—but what if I am killed? You’re planning on doing that to other grays, right? With this dagger?” I held it up. My arm ached from clutching it for so long, but I wasn’t ready to give it up quite yet.
He didn’t speak for a moment. “Then it’s the end. Just like when an angel or demon is destroyed. You will cease to exist.”
I staggered back a step and felt my face blanch. I began to tremble from head to foot.
“No, don’t cry, Samantha,” Bishop whispered, drawing closer. “It’s going to be okay.”
I frowned and looked up at him. I hadn’t realized that I was crying until he’d pointed it out. He gently stroked the tears off my cheeks. The heat of his skin sank into mine, warming me, and the pleasant sensation made my breath catch. He cupped my face in his hands and looked down at me, his brows drawing together.
“I promised I’d keep you safe,” he said. “I promised I’d help restore your soul. I know I haven’t shown you much reason to believe in me, but believe it when I say this—I know you’re different from the others. You’re incredibly special—so special. And I swear I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Okay?”
He leaned forward and brushed his lips against my forehead.
I think I stopped breathing entirely for a moment. His lips left a heated impression on my skin. Talk about living in the now. Everything fell away from me, every worry, every fear.
When he leaned back, something had shifted in his gaze. So far tonight I’d seen confusion, annoyance and a healthy portion of distrust there. But now I was sure I saw…desire.
For just a moment, he looked at me like he wanted me.
My entire world closed in on his lips. Even though he’d said he didn’t have a soul, I still wanted to kiss him so desperately it was impossible to ignore the deep need to pull him to me and do just that. The dagger fell from my grip and clanged to the ground as I took hold of his T-shirt, drawing him closer to me. Closer, until our lips were only a breath apart.
I needed his mouth against mine so badly it blinded me to anything else. And he wasn’t pushing me away.
Someone nearby noisily cleared his throat. “Sorry, am I interrupting something?”
Bishop stepped back from me, a look of surprise on his face. He bent over to snatch up the dagger and then turned away from me. I felt like some sort of spell had broken with the abruptness of a hand slapping my face.
Kraven leaned against a brick wall, his arms crossed over his chest. He was grinning.
“See, dude? I just knew you could convince her to help out.”
“We’re searching for the others.”
“I’m sure you are. Just taking a little break right now to get to know each other better, right?”
Bishop sent a look toward me, his eyes stormy. Was he angry we’d been interrupted? Or angry that we’d nearly kissed? I hoped it wasn’t the latter.
I wasn’t sure what had happened just now—why I’d nearly kissed him.
No, scratch that. I did know. That was courtesy of my strange pull toward Bishop, the same pull I’d felt last night when I’d first met him. Something was there between us, and I didn’t want it to be.
And yet, I’d still desperately wanted to kiss him just now.
“I think you freaked her out.” Kraven studied my distress. “Bad angel breath, maybe?”
“We need to keep searching,” Bishop replied.
He still seemed disturbed, but I was composing myself quickly. Something about the demon made that easy. Probably because I despised him so much. Angels might not hate, but I didn’t have a huge problem with it.
“Surprised gray girl’s even willing to pitch in.” Kraven lifted one hand and studied his fingernails. “You know, being one of them. Are you really sure we shouldn’t just kill her and get it over with?”
The only reason I knew he was fooling around was his smart-ass grin, which I wanted to wipe off his face. Preferably with the sole of my shoe.
“Do that and you won’t find your team,” I snapped. “I’m getting the feeling you two are stuck here together until you finish your job, you jerk.”
“Jerk? Is that the best you’ve got? How disappointing.” His grin only stretched wider.
“I need to talk to you for a moment,” Bishop said to Kraven.
“Be still my heart.”
“Privately.” He cast an apologetic glance in my direction.
I let out a shaky breath. “Go ahead. I’ll just wait here and think up some better insults.”
Bishop followed Kraven around the corner and out of earshot. It didn’t take long before the night felt like it was closing around me. The cold sank deep into me even with my coat wrapped tightly around me.
I had to admit, I was curious about what they were currently discussing.
Probably me.
I moved slowly toward the edge of the building until I could hear them. I pressed my back up against the brick wall and strained to listen.
I was right. It was about me. And they were speaking quietly as if trying to prevent me from listening in. It didn’t work.
“…a liability to the mission. You never should have brought her in. How much have you told her?”
“Enough for her to understand.”
“Great. I didn’t think you were a complete idiot, but I guess I was wrong. But I’ve been wrong about a lot of things, haven’t I?”
Bishop’s voice turned sharp. “That makes two of us.”
“She’s one of them.”
“She’s different.?
??
“Sure, she is. Maybe you can’t see clearly since you’ve got the hots for her. I mean, she’s cute enough, but is she worth risking everything over?”
“The mission is all that matters to me.” Bishop’s voice was tense, and I couldn’t tell if he was lying. But he’d said angels didn’t lie.
I struggled to breathe. The mission was all that mattered to him. I was only a means to help him complete that mission successfully.
Was that really true? Or had I seen something in his eyes before, something real between us? I hated to think it had been my stupid imagination or, even worse, that he’d been messing with me to get what he wanted.