I reached out and took his hand between mine. “I didn't do it for you. Not really. I did it for me.”
His eyes narrowed. “What do you mean, 'not really'?”
“I mean, I realized I had been hiding, using my appearance as a wall, not being myself.” I released his hand and then reached up to run my fingertips along his cheek. The stubble on his cheek was rough against my skin. He hadn't shaved this morning. “I needed to be myself. For me, but also for you.” I lightly touched the corner of his mouth.
“Because of what I said?” He caught my hand and pressed his lips against my palm. “You didn't need to do anything, love.”
“Yes,” I said firmly. “I did. You said that I was worth the risk, and I'm going to do my best to deserve that faith. Part of that means working on accepting who I am. Really accepting it.”
He ran his fingers through my hair, an expression of awe on his face. “You're amazing, you know that?”
I flushed and started to shake my head, then his mouth was on mine. It was gentle at first, one arm snaking around my waist to draw me to him, the other hand moving to cup the back of my head. He held me firmly in place as he thrust his tongue between my lips, pushing them open. I made a sound in the back of my throat as he plundered my mouth. He ground his hips against me and I felt him hardening against my hip. My pussy throbbed in response. Damn, I wanted him.
When he finally broke the kiss, I was gasping for air. He still held me close, his eyes dark with arousal.
“I'm going to take that to mean you like the color?” I teased in a breathless voice.
“I don't give a damn what color your hair is,” he said roughly. “I want you.” He leaned forward and nipped at my bottom lip. “Fuck. I want you so much.”
I glanced towards the elevator door. This was definitely one of those times that his open-door policy would bite him in the butt.
I let out a squeak of surprise as he picked me up, his hands cupping my ass. My legs automatically went around his waist, pressing us together in a way that made us both moan.
“I love you.” He kissed my jaw. “Blonde, brunette, red-head. Blue hair, green hair. Doesn't matter.” His lips pressed against my throat. “But yes, I like this color on you.” He gently sucked on the skin, releasing it before he could leave a mark. “You know what else I like on you?”
“What?” I let my head fall back to give him easier access. I was glad he'd had enough control not to give me another hickey. I'd already had to cover up a couple on my neck and one on the top of my breast that the vest I was wearing didn't hide.
“Me.”
I chuckled, gripping more tightly onto his shoulders as I leaned back, enjoying the sensations of his teeth and tongue making their way across my skin. “I definitely like you on me...and in me.”
He set me on the edge of the conference table, putting us at almost the same height. I kept my legs around him but loosened my grip, hooking my feet at the back of his knees. He quickly unbuttoned my vest, the heat in his eyes sending a jolt of arousal straight through me.
His hands slid underneath, stoking the fire inside me. I gritted my teeth. I wanted nothing more than to succumb to his touch, but I knew we couldn't. I had to remind him of where we were.
“Rylan.” I put my hands on his forearms. “We can't. Not here.”
His eyes turned to that deep purple that was almost black. “I'll stop if that's what you really want.” He cupped my breasts through my bra. “You know what to say.”
Fuck. He was going to go there. I knew that if I said it, he'd stop and he wouldn't hold it against me. He would be disappointed though. My body screamed in protest at the thought of walking away, unfinished. I'd be more than disappointed. There was no way I'd be able to concentrate wound up the way I was.
I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his chest. I felt the heat of his skin through his shirt. I tilted my head back and let him read my consent on my face. When he took a step back, I opened my mouth to clarify, thinking he'd misunderstood.
Then he spoke in that low, authoritative voice that twisted things low inside me. “Take off your pants.”
I stood up immediately. It probably wasn't smart to do this here, but there was no way I was backing down now. The pants slid off easily, going over my boots without any problem. I left on my panties, a pair of plain black silk ones that matched my bra.
“Back on the table,” he ordered.
I sat on the edge, spreading my legs in anticipation.
He stepped between them, his hands moving under my shirt and around my back to unclasp my bra. I moaned as he brought his hands around, palming my breasts. His thumbs moved over my nipples, sending ripples of pleasure through me. I arched my back, pushing my breasts against him, wanting more. His hands dropped away and I made a sound of protest.
“Shh.” He nipped at my bottom lip. “You have to be quiet. Don't want anyone coming up here, thinking I'm in trouble or something.” He scraped his teeth along my jaw. “We both know how I can make you scream.”
He dropped his hand between us, his fingers skimming along the crotch of my panties. I shuddered at the sensation, pressing my lips together to keep in a moan. I didn't think anyone would hear that, but he'd told me to be quiet.
“I'm going to make you come,” he promised. “But if you make a sound, I'm going to spank you until you can't sit for the rest of the day.”
I mimed locking my lips and throwing away the key.
He reached down and unzipped his pants before moving back between my legs. I looked down, my pussy growing wet as I watched him stroking himself. Damn, he was hot.
“I'm going to fuck you.”
I recognized that slight shift in tone. He was telling me what to expect so I could use our safe words if I needed to.
“No prep, so it's going to be tight.”
That was an understatement, but the thought made me even more wet.
“I'm going to make you scream.” He lowered his voice until it was just above a whisper. “And when you do, I'm going to spank your ass until it's red.”
A muffled whimper almost escaped.
“Now, put your hands on your breasts.” His hand was still moving lazily over his cock. “I want you to play with your nipples while I fuck you.”
He smiled as I obeyed. My fingers rolled the sensitive flesh, tugging and pinching just the way I liked. He took another step forward, cock nudging at my entrance. I looked up at him, our eyes meeting as he put his hands on my hips. My back arched as he buried himself inside me in one quick thrust, my lips pressed tightly together to hold back a scream. My fingers tightened involuntarily, sending pain through my nipples, mingling with the pain and pleasure of him stretching me too fast. My breathing came in harsh pants as my body tried to adjust.
“Let it go.” He drew back and snapped forward again, sending another jolt through me. “Scream for me.”
The words made my stomach tighten as the memories of other voices came forward. Other men, some women, telling me to scream.
He froze, looking down at me with an expression that told me he'd seen something on my face that worried him. “Red?” He made it a question.
I felt him inside me, so hard that stopping like this had to be almost impossible. His eyes, however, were only full of concern for me.
I shook my head. “Just what you said.”
“We can stop...”
“Don't you dare!” I squeezed his cock with my pussy and he swore, eyes closing for a minute.
When they opened, they were almost black. He reached up and buried his hand in my hair. “You're sure?”
I nodded and he yanked on my hair, making me gasp. The gasp turned into a cry as he began to move again, pounding into me.
“Quiet!” He bit my jaw hard enough to hurt, but not to leave a mark “Or do you want me to spank you?”
“Yes!” I felt the climax coming, building inside me. “Please, please.”
“You really don't know how to be quiet.” His
voice was strained. “We're going to have to work on that.”
I nodded without really paying attention to what he was saying. I didn't care about anything but coming. I was close, and I knew he was too. I let go of my breasts and grabbed onto his arms, my nails digging into his forearms as he drove into me.
“Are you going to scream?” he whispered in my ear. “Call my name?”
I shook my head, sinking my teeth into my bottom lip to hold back the sounds. I'd prove to him I could do this. As my climax crashed over me, I fought the urge to cry out and heard him make a sound of pain as my hands tightened on his arms. I felt like I would explode, every cell in my body screaming as I held in the sounds that wanted to escape. My head fell forward onto his shoulder, air escaping in almost pained pants as Rylan buried himself inside me. I felt him coming, filling me, and I shuddered, pressing my face against the side of his neck.
“I've got you,” he murmured in my ear. “I've got you.”
We stayed joined, holding each other, until his phone rang. He sighed as he stepped back and I hissed as he slid out. I would be a bit sore, but it was worth it. He did up his pants as he walked over to the desk. I grimaced as I stood and looked around for some tissues. There was definitely a disadvantage to the whole no condom thing.
“Yes, she's here.”
I looked up, surprised. Rylan turned towards me, his expression serious. He reached behind him and picked up a box of tissues, tossing it towards me.
“Send him up.”
He hung up the phone, a curious look on his face as I cleaned myself up.
“I guess the spanking's going to have to wait. The FBI's here to talk to you.”
Chapter 20
I quickly finished straightening my clothes as Rylan cleaned up the table and tried to make it look like we hadn't just been having a quickie. I had no idea what the FBI wanted with me, but whatever it was, I doubted they'd think too highly of what we'd been doing. Aside from the fact that we were at work, Rylan was my boss.
“Any clue what this is about?” Rylan asked as he glanced towards the elevator.
I shook my head. Suddenly, something hit me. “Shit.”
“What?”
“What if they figured out I'd hacked those systems?”
“That was, what, four or five years ago?” He reached out and squeezed my hand. “Wouldn't they have come before now?”
I shrugged, grateful for his hand around mine. “Maybe it took them this long to figure out who I was. I didn't exactly leave a forwarding address.”
“Do you want me to call a lawyer?”
I loved that he asked rather than just doing it. “Let's see what they want first. Maybe they're looking for someone to do some firewall work for them.”
“Maybe.” Rylan's fingers tightened around mine for a moment, then he released my hand as the elevator doors opened.
The man who stepped into the office looked to be in his late forties. Dark hair with little streaks of silver. A serious expression was on his face, but he didn't look like he was angry or anything like that. I also didn't see handcuffs or anything that looked like an arrest warrant, so that was good.
“Miss Lang?” he asked. “I'm Agent Matthews with the FBI.” He held out a hand.
“Nice to meet you.” I shook his hand, then gestured at Rylan. “This is Rylan Archer.”
“Mr. Archer.” Agent Matthews shook Rylan's hand, then turned his attention back to me. “Can we talk?” Judging by the glance he sent in Rylan's direction, the agent wanted the discussion to be private.
Our eyes met, a silent exchange going between us. I knew Rylan was concerned about why the FBI was here and worried about me facing it alone, but I also knew that he would leave it up to me if he stayed or not.
“Would you mind if we used your office?” I asked. “It's a bit more private than mine.”
“No problem.” Rylan stuck his hands in his pockets and gave the agent and me both the same professional smile. “I have a few errands to run.” He gave me one last look and I caught a glimpse of concern that went beyond employer employee.
Agent Matthews waited until the elevator doors closed behind Rylan before turning to me. I motioned to a pair of chairs at the conference table – at the end opposite of where Rylan and I had just been. We both sat and I crossed my ankles, suddenly overly aware of how wet my panties were.
“Miss Lang,” Agent Matthews began. “I'm here about Christophe Constantine.”
I froze. My heart thudded painfully in my chest and I could barely breathe. Christophe. I suddenly wished I hadn't told Rylan to go. He was the only one who could truly understand what Christophe meant to me. I'd told the cops the whole truth and my statement could be read by anyone involved in the case, but even if Agent Matthews had read every word I'd said, he couldn't really get it. I didn't need Rylan here to protect me, but I couldn't deny that I would have liked to have his arms around me, or his hand in mine for whatever it was Agent Matthews would tell me. It had to be something serious or the FBI would've just called.
“Miss Lang?” The agent sounded concerned.
“Yes?” My voice was thin and I hated myself for it. I cleared my throat. “You said you're here about Christophe.” Much better this time.
“I am.”
“I wasn't aware the FBI was involved in the case.” I twisted my fingers together until my knuckles turned white. “I thought it was Fort Collins Police jurisdiction.”
“It is,” Agent Matthews said. “Or, rather, it was.”
I didn't like the sound of that and I frowned. I'd be polite, but I wasn't going to let him think I was okay with the direction I thought this conversation was taking.
“When the FCPD started collecting their information, they ran names they found in his computer as well as names of those involved with the media confiscated from Mr. Constantine.”
I swallowed hard, grateful I hadn't eaten breakfast that morning. The way my stomach was churning, I doubted I could've kept myself from being sick. Christophe had names of people, people who hurt kids the way I'd been hurt, people who enjoyed seeing kids hurt.
“One of those names triggered something in our system and we stepped in. Since the child pornography he owned crossed state lines, we can technically prosecute him on a federal level and we've worked with the FCPD to take over the kidnapping, assault and attempted rape charges as well.”
“Agent Matthews,” I interrupted. “I don't understand why this makes a difference to me. I can testify for a federal case just as easily as I can for local. I don't need to know all of the reasons why.”
He studied me for a moment, as if trying to figure out what to say next.
And then it hit me. I knew why he was here, why he was explaining to me how my case came to the FBI's attention.
“You want to cut a deal with him.”
I leaned back into my chair, feeling as if the air had gone out of my lungs.
Agent Matthews nodded and I was at least grateful that he wasn't going to try to sugarcoat it.
“We would like to offer Mr. Constantine a deal in exchange not only for testimony for the names we already have, but also to get new names, have him make contact with people.”
I didn't need Agent Matthews to explain how the child pornography business worked. I may have only been a kid, but I'd heard enough to know that referrals were the only way anyone new was ever allowed into the group. Without Christophe to make introductions, the FBI could take months to get the same people. If they ever did. The people who did these things were careful. It had taken my mother almost thirteen years to get caught and it had been under similar circumstances. The entire system was a huge game of six degrees of separation.
“Ry – Mr. Archer had done a background check on Christophe but nothing popped up. And Christophe...” The words almost stuck in my throat. “He told me that it was only...those videos that he watched. How many names could he give you?”
“Well, two of the names on his computer are ones we
've been trying to get to for years. They're high up in a distribution ring that specializes in brutal scenarios. The things their clients do...” His voice trailed off and there were a few minutes of silence before he shook his head and spoke again, “You couldn't imagine.”
I stared at him, wondering if he was really that stupid or if he'd just spoken without thinking.
“Oh, shit.” The professional mask slipped and I could see him realize what he'd just said and who he'd said it to. “I'm sorry, Miss Lang. I didn't think–”
“You're not usually the person who goes to talk to the victims, are you?” I asked. I tried making my tone light, but it didn't work very well. “Because you suck at it.”
He gave me a wry smile, the first real expression I'd seen on his face. “You're right. On both counts. I'm the smart one. The nice one called in sick today.”
I gave him a partial smile to let him know I appreciated the candor. “Okay, now tell me why you're here and not just working with the powers that be to make this happen.”
He raised an eyebrow. “I heard you were smart.”
“I am,” I said. “But that's not why you're here.”
“No,” he said. “It's not. The FCPD and the ADA actually weren't that thrilled that we wanted the case.” He glanced towards the elevator. “They seemed to think that Mr. Archer wouldn't be pleased if they handed things over for a plea deal.”
I kept my face blank and my voice even. “Well, he was assaulted by Christophe too.”
Agent Matthews gave me a shrewd look. “I think we both know that's not the reason he's being so adamant about this case.”
I didn't respond. My love life had no bearing on the case.
He sighed. “Basically, they want to cover their asses.” He reached into his jacket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “They want you to sign this.”
I opened the paper and skimmed it, appreciating the fact that Agent Matthews had let me read it rather than just telling me what was in it. It seemed pretty straightforward. I was giving the FBI permission to negotiate a deal on the charges associated with my case in exchange for Christophe's cooperation in taking down other pedophiles.