Chapter Eleven
"You do not know what you are asking for him, MaryAnn. Longevity is not always a good thing. The life of a Carpathian male is extremely difficult. You may be asking for something he wouldn't want. "
"Then ask him. Don't let him die simply because he's a man. "
Manolito sighed. She had a point, but then, she couldn't know what it was like for a Carpathian male to know just how low the odds were of finding a lifemate. She hadn't lived centuries alone.
"I'll need to feed, MaryAnn. Are both of you willing to contribute? Because I cannot do this without blood. " He was desperate to feed. The world around him was fading fast. He was fading. When he looked down at his hands, they were gray and growing transparent.
MaryAnn looked at Manolito's glittering eyes, saw the tiny red flames and felt her heart jump. She always forgot he wasn't human, even when she was asking him to do things that weren't at all human. She took a deep breath and nodded.
Manolito switched his attention to Jasmine. The girl sat on the floor, petting the spotted fur more to comfort herself than to keep Solange calm. "I think I can do it," she agreed, without looking at him. "Tell me what to do. "
"Give me your hand. "
Jasmine slowly extended her arm. Manolito's fingers settled around her like a vise. The whispers began in his
head. Soft. Insidious. Temptation eating at him.
She gasped and tried to jerk away. "Wait. Wait. I forgot to tell you. I'm pregnant. Will this hurt my baby?"
Manolito dropped her hand as if she'd burned him. His gaze went obsidian black, his mouth set in a firm line. "You have no business offering blood, or fighting jaguars. No, I will not take your blood. You must take great care to guard the child. "
Before Jasmine could reply, Luiz gave a gasping wheeze and the jaguar shifted, bones crackling, body contorting as death reached for him.
MaryAnn gave a soft, alarmed cry and knelt, leaning over the broad chest to listen for a heartbeat. She immediately started CPR. "Do something, Manolito. You can't just let him die. "
She had no idea what she was asking. The other world was so close. He was starved. Weary. Shadows moved everywhere in the room. MaryAnn looked at him with her wide, dark eyes, so trusting. She had so much faith in him. More than he had in himself with the whispers pushing at the back of his mind and his own body fading. He blinked and forced himself to focus.
Hear me, jaguar-man. I can make you Carpathian. You will never be jaguar, yet you will live and be able to shift. Know that this gift is a dark one. If you do not find the other half of your soul, you will eventually lose emotion and color and live only on memories. You will need blood to survive. You will have to live under the rule of our prince and pledge your allegiance and protection, your very life, to him and to our people. I will hold your life in my hands. I will be able to touch your mind at will and find you no matter inhere you are. If you betray us, I will kill you without remorse as quickly as possible. You have the choice of going to another place and seeking peace or remaining in this world and continuing your fight.
This was no small matter. He would forever be responsible for anything Luiz chose to do. It was an obligation few males wanted. They knew the risks, and knew what it was like to hunt and kill former friends. He allowed Luiz into his memories, into that long, seemingly endless corridor of darkness. There could be no way to describe to the jaguar-man what it would be like; he could only show him the fading emotions, the centuries of hunting and waiting, relying only on honor and then memories of honor. He was as honest as he was able.
I have not yet finished my fight to save my people.
Luiz was far away, but he clung to life. Strangely, the further Luiz's spirit retreated, the more clear the misty world around Manolito became. Voices grew louder. The room became still. Shadows with stretched skin and gaping mouths, with sharpened pegs for teeth, slithered across the walls and floor. Hunger burned and raked, clawing at every cell and organ in his body. He felt thin and stretched beyond endurance.
Manolito made an effort to concentrate only on Luiz. They will no longer be your people. Your blood will be Carpathian. Jaguar will avoid you. Be very certain you understand what you are getting into before you choose.
I cannot allow the vampire to continue to prey upon my people whether my blood is Carpathian or human or jaguar. We are all the same, struggling to find a life and live it well. I choose life.
It will be painful. Very painful.
And MaryAnn would be witness. How could it not scare her to death? Everything in him ached to stop, to take his lifemate and leave, but there was no doing so, not after merging so deeply with Luiz, knowing what
kind of man he was and the hard fight he'd waged to save his people, to honor his women. Manolito could not abandon him to lamti bol juti, kinta, ja szelem, the meadow of night, mists and ghosts, nor could he wait much longer or the man would be half-dweller, as Manolito was certain he was.
I choose life.
Manolito put a restraining hand on MaryAnn's shoulder to stop her from continuing CPR. He simply took over with his mind, keeping Luiz's heart beating and the air moving through his lungs. "I cannot do this without blood. "
MaryAnn could see that Manolito had grown weak and pale, his skin nearly gray. He was swaying with weariness. It was a frightening thing to stretch out her arm and offer her wrist, but she trusted him; even with the red flames flickering in the depth of his dark eyes, she trusted him with her life.
Ignoring her wrist, he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. "I could never harm you, sivamet. "
The way the last word rolled off his tongue was sensual and alluring. More than that, she caught the meaning in his mind. My love. Was she his love? Did he already feel more than physical need for her? Having been in his mind, she realized that the sharing of memories and the inability to hide from each other made the relationship so much more intimate than she could ever have imagined. If he was courting her, he was doing a good job, simply by being himself.
She went into his arms willingly and nuzzled his throat. He tilted her chin so that her gaze met his, was captured by his, mesmerized and lost in the dark depths of his eyes. Lost in the seduction of stark need and raw hunger. He never tried to disguise or lessen the way he felt about her. Her breath caught in her throat. Her heart did a curious melting as her stomach flipped and her womb clenched.
This man could be hers-was hers. She hadn't claimed him back. She didn't even know if she could live with what and who he was, but she admired and respected him. She could feel the hunger beating at him. The weariness. He was torn between two worlds, and to stay in hers drained him. His sense of honor toward Solange, and to her, hud only added to his burden.
"Take what you need. " Her lips whispered over his.
Temptation. Oh, lord, the temptation she was inadvertently offering him. His tongue was a velvet rasp over her pulse. She was warm, living silk in his arms. No one had softer skin. His emotions had long been frozen in a place deep inside him, buried so deep he thought it impossible to taste or feel or know the pleasure a woman's shape could bring to a man's body. Her touch, the sound of her voice, her very breath had awakened him. She had given him life again. He wanted her with him for all time. He wanted to ensure she was always by his side.
Temptation. He now knew what it felt and tasted like. He knew temptation was a woman and that he would have to use every ounce of control to keep from whisking her away to a place where they could be alone.
His teeth sank deep, and the taste and essence of her flowed from her to him, completing him body and soul. A sultry, smoky flavor and so MaryAnn. His arms tightened, and he closed his eyes to better savor her. At the same time, he allowed one hand to wander down the curves of her body to her leg. She was curled up in his arms, her legs in his lap, and he could easily find the tears in her flesh.
No one, woman or man, should have been able to push asi
de the pain and function, not only sitting, as she was doing now, but running as she had earlier in the rain forest. The pain should have dulled her thinking and affected her ability to manipulate energy. The pain was there in her mind. She felt it. But she pushed it into a
center of her brain he was unfamiliar with. He'd never seen the pattern before. He was ancient. He had used mage, jaguar and human for sustenance at one time or another, and as the species mixed, the patterns became less distinct over the ages. He ran his hands over her thigh, an intimate exploration. She shivered in his arms, her body moving restlessly against his.
She is yours.
Yes. She was his. Made for him. Shaped for him. The other half of him.
She was made for you.
Of course she had been, her body curved just so, soft and pliant hot silk moving in his arms so that he would know what it would be to bury his body deep within her, drive them both over the edge into ecstasy.
It is your right.
He had every right to her body. He owned her, body and soul, just as she did him. He could take pleasure when and where he wanted. His hand slid along her thigh, moved toward heat-his heat-she belonged to him. He knew exactly the things that would please her, would bring her to a fevered frenzy of sexual need.
Why bring the jaguar-man across? He will only turn vampire and you will have to hunt and kill him as you have so many others.
It was madness to consider bringing another male into their world when there were so few lifemates. He might try to steal MaryAnn.
He was alone with her. Naked. Showing her his body in order to lure her away from you. He wants her. He'll do anything to take her from you.
The jaguar-men had all proven to be deceivers. They did lure women and hold them captive, treat them brutally.
He touched her. He touched your woman. He saw your mark, smelled your scent all over her, yet he touched. You saw him standing over her. He was stork naked. What do you think he was trying to force her to do?
She defended him. Said he'd saved her life.
She wants him. Make her yours. Take her now. Take what belongs to you. Bring her to your side for all eternity.
He couldn't stop. He needed this. He was starving. Starving. The hunger drove him mad. Nothing could sate him but his lifemate. The rich, hot blood burst through his system with the rush of the most powerful drug.
He needed her body submitting to his, all heat and fire, sating the desire that had him so hard and hot and beyond caring of anything but sinking deep into her. He wanted to hear his name called out in a storm of need. He wanted to see her eyes glaze over with passion; he wanted to hear her beg for him to join them. He had waited an eternity through darkness and hell, and now she was there, in his arms, her body ripe and ready for his, her blood mingling with his.
Take her. It Is your right. She cannot deny you. Anything you want she must provide. Yours. Take her now before the jaguar claims her. You cannot stop now when you are so close. Take enough to convert her and she cannot leave you. Taste her. The whispers grew. Voices joined in.
For one moment, his arms tightened possessively and his body urged hers backward so that he bent her beneath him. For what? Would he take her right there with Luiz dying beside them? With Jasmine and Solange there as witnesses to his madness?
Yes. Yes. You take her now before it is too late and you lose her.
Fear rose in him. Fear that he couldn't control the addiction to her taste, that he wouldn't-couldn't-stop. He was losing his mind, and he was going to harm the one person he had sworn to care for. He shouldn't be listening, but the voices were insidious, creeping into his mind and preying on his worst fears and his worst traits.
His worst traits. The need to dominate. The need for her to see only him and no one else. The terrible need to force his will on her, so that she not only wanted to but needed to do everything he wished. He wanted her on his terms and knew he could control her through a sexual relationship. He knew her desires and fantasies, and he knew how to exact every erotic response. Not for pleasure-hers or his-but for control.
He would not only dishonor himself and everything he stood for if he took her blood and her body, if he brought her wholly into his world, but he would ruin any chance he had of gaining MaryAnn's affection. That was not what lifemates were all about. He was her lifemate and would be in every sense of the word.
The voices became louder, more persuasive. The shadows around him lengthened and grew. He caught at MaryAnn's arms, prepared to wrench her away from him, but she moved in his mind, a soothing warmth, a feeling of well-being.
That is not so, Manolito. I hear them and they speak falsely. Of course you feel I am yours. If I am your lifemate, I am the other half of your soul.
MaryAnn was grateful that Destiny had taken the time to try to explain the bond between Carpathian lifemates. Naturally you would want me wholly in your world. They are preying on your instincts, but you are stronger than they are. We are stronger than they are.
You can hear them? He was desperate for her to know that he walked in two worlds. It seemed so implausible. And yet he was surrounded by the shadows, the voices and the cold chill he couldn't shake, when a Carpathian could control body temperature.
Of course I hear them. She wouldn't let them take him. Whatever was happening was real, not imagined. She was an urban bush woman, and she could handle whatever the trash wanted to throw at her or her man.
Her stomach did another odd little flutter. She was already thinking of him as her man. Whatever. She wasn't going to desert him until he was safely in the land of the living, without vampires and ghouls hanging around.
Manolito tried to still his pounding heart and the surge of hot blood racing through his body straight to his groin. The good thing was, with her body heat, her soft skin and total acceptance, she had dimmed the voices enough for him to dull the demon rising to claim her, and for him to reason once again.
She had been aware of his thoughts, yet she hadn't fought him, hadn't pulled away. She had waited for him to sort it all out, believing in him through the entire exchange. Her faith terrified him. What if he let her down? What if the man she believed him to be didn't exist? She humbled him with her confidence in him.
He swept his tongue across the pinpricks, careful this time not to leave his mark. Once was enough, and he made certain it was still there to remind her, in his absence, of the connection of their souls. He held her for a moment, his heart pounding. Had the voices been more than a temptation to do her wrong? Had those in the
shadow world sensed she was connected to him and had Maxim tried to draw her into the world of mists, where he could kill her?
"Let me heal your leg. " He couldn't bear to see those marks on her, and she had been suffering long enough while he helped others. His fingers slid over the tears on her calf, the ripped flesh and the exposed muscle gaping from the wound.
"But Luiz. . . "
"I am keeping him alive. Allow me to do this. "
MaryAnn pressed her lips together to keep from protesting, sending one quick glance toward Jasmine and Solange, hoping they weren't witnessing her reaction to Manolito's attention. Because quite frankly, it was sexual. In the midst of blood and chaos, her body was doing things and thinking things it shouldn't. Solange lay without moving, eyes closed, holding Jasmine's total concentration.
"Go ahead then, but hurry. " Her voice came out choked. She could hardly think, let alone speak, with his fingers trailing up and down her thigh.
He bent his head toward her calf, his fingers circling her ankle to hold her still. Her breath caught in her throat, as she watched his silky hair cascading like a waterfall around his shoulders. She could see his profile, his long lashes and the outline of his lips. He was just too gorgeous to be real. She lifted a hand to her out-of-control hair. Even braided, it was trying to grow into a wild mass. The action drew her attention to the bloodstains on her silk blous
e.
She looked with dismay down at her really chic black dress pants. One trouser leg was ripped and torn, the really cute cuff shredded into strings. Beneath it, her leg had deep rake marks, so deep the muscle poured from the slashes. Pain exploded through her, robbed her of breath, and for a moment she thought she might get sick.
"Manolito. " She gasped his name, shocked at the pain burning through her. Tears swam in her eyes. "It hurts. "
"I know, sivamet, I can take that away as well. " He found it interesting that the moment her mind had become aware of the wound, she had. felt the entire load of stabbing pain. It was no longer compartmentalized in her brain, shut off from her conscious self.
Manolito shouldered the pain and began the task of healing the wounds from the inside out. When the lacerations were sealed and free of all infection, he came back to his body and bent to inspect her leg. She closed her eyes when she felt his tongue rasp over the wound like the stroke of warm velvet.
She knew he had a healing agent in his saliva, and that there should have been an "ick" factor for her, but there wasn't. Instead, a million butterfly wings brushed at her stomach and her muscles clenched. Heat pulsed between her legs. He was doing something with the pads of his fingers, up higher, on the inside of her thigh, something that threatened her sanity, but before she could lose her mind, he lifted his head, eyes heavy-lidded and smoky with desire.
"We need to focus on Luiz. " His husky voice was thick with emotion.
She nodded, unable to speak. "Tell me what to do to help you. "
Carpathian men did not share their women, and Manolito was definitely the jealous type, but his heart went
out to Luiz when he sensed his apprehension as Manolito bent to his throat.
Try to hold him to you, MaryAnn, to make his transition easier. I fear his cat is strong and will not relinquish, him easily. It wasn't easy to make himself ask her, but he was already firmly merging with the jaguar-man, and the taste of fear was bitter for a man who had fought so many battles and worked so hard for his people. Manolito didn't want Luiz moving from one life to the other in a state of anxiety. He allowed himself to merge completely to calm the man, but the cat sensed what was about to happen and raged.
You will still exist. How could you not? You have been a part of Luiz for so many years. You two are the same. This will allow you both life. He has chosen to save you so that you can save your people. MaryAnn stroked the man's hair, her fingers lingering, caressing.
She touches another man.
The same man who was with her earlier.
The voices were hideous demons, designed to undermine his confidence in her. He chose to look at her hand, to feel her intent-to trust her instead of the voices. Her fingers were mesmerizing, and Manolito felt the touch in his own hair-on his own scalp. The three of them were fused tightly together through MaryAnn, but he was certain she had no knowledge of what she did.
He was beginning to figure out how she did it. Her abilities were unlike any he'd encountered. She gathered energy and used it as automatically as breathing. She reached out to those around her, anyone suffering or in need of comfort and "read" them without even knowing she did so. After she gathered and processed the information about the person, and their trouble, she used the energy to give them whatever was needed in the way of hope or comfort.
She gave Luiz her compassion, soothing and calming him, but she gave Manolito something altogether different. Partnership. She wasn't following him as he felt a woman should do; she was standing beside him, working with as much energy to protect and save him from the shadow world he dwelt in as he used to protect her. It was simply a different energy and a different approach.
He drew the life, blood and spirit from Luiz and took them into his keeping. Slashing his wrist, he gave the command to drink, and Luiz, submerged so deeply, didn't fight. The jaguar gave one roar of protest and then allowed MaryAnn to calm it.
MaryAnn bit her lip and continued stroking Luiz's hair, trying to figure out how best to help the situation. She didn't know what to expect, but she didn't want Jasmine to be around if anything bad happened. "Can you help Solange to the bedroom," she asked, uncertain if the jaguar was unconscious or simply not moving.
The door burst open and Riordan strode in, Juliette a step behind. She was obviously frantic, pushing against him to get to her sister and cousin. There were burn marks down Riordan's arm and left cheek. A slash of blood along his thigh. Juliette appeared unharmed, but shaken. A small cry escaped when she saw the amount of blood spattered on the floor and walls, but Riordan's body blocked hers from any possible danger while he took in the scene.
"Does Solange need further assistance?" he asked Jasmine as he stepped aside to allow his lifemate to rush to her cousin's side.
"We need to put her in a room and allow her to shift back to human form," Jasmine said. "She's quiet now, but in pain. "
"I'm so sorry. " Juliette was close to tears. "We tried to get here, but our enemies are near. They must have guessed our resting place, and when we tried to rise, they attacked us. "
Manolito flicked a quick, hard glance at his brother, to ensure the man had no wounds that needed immediate attention. Riordan shook his head to assure him.
"Jasmine and I can take Solange to her room," Juliette said, "while you help Manolito. "
"What are you doing?" Riordan demanded, although he already knew. He just didn't want it to be true. "Have you lost your mind? We cannot bring a jaguar male over. "
"Why?" MaryAnn challenged. "You have no problem converting women. Wasn't Juliette human with a little jaguar blood thrown in?"
Riordan's gaze flicked to her face and then down to her shredded leg.
"Riordan?" Jasmine called his attention back to her.
At once his expression softened. "What is it, little sister?"
"I asked Manolito to save the jaguar. If he hadn't come to Solange's aid, she would have been captured or dead. "
"A mage traveled with them. " Manolito supplied the information, his features set in grim lines as he stopped Luiz from feeding. "He unraveled the safeguards to allow the jaguar into the house and then he came in behind them and grabbed Jasmine. "
Juliette spun around, her face paling. "Oh, no, it was a trap after all. We feared so when we spotted a jaguar watching the battle. Jasmine. Are you all right?"
Jasmine nodded. "But he wasn't after me. He thought I was Solange. He actually called me by her name. I didn't react or deny it, but he was definitely after her. "
Manolito sat back away from Luiz and wiped the back of his hand his forehead, leaving behind a smear of blood. "Luiz had been tainted by a vampire. The Malinov brothers are using the plan to gain control. They are destroying the jaguar race from within, just as we discussed when we were young. They are looking for royal blood, but I don't know why. I thought Juliette or Jasmine at first, but Luiz told me Solange is the target. A vampire has placed a compulsion within the men of the jaguar race to capture and turn her over to him. " He sent his brother a quick mental recap of all that had transpired.
Juliette shook her head. "Solange is pureblood and of the royal line. "
"Solange cannot stay on the island," Riordan said. "We have to take her to the ranch as soon as she is able to travel. "
"She won't go," Juliette said.
"She spoke of going," Jasmine countered. "I think we can persuade her. "
"Take her up to her room," Riordan ordered. "I'm going to get rid of the mess in here and clean up. This time we'll use only the safeguards never woven by mage. "
"Burn the jaguar I killed. He was tainted by the vampire and would most likely be used again," Manolito advised. "I do not want him to be used by our enemies. "
"What plan?" MaryAnn asked, watching Manolito's face closely.
He remained expressionless, but flicked a glance at his brother.
It was Riordan who answered. "We were very young and
thought of ourselves as intellectuals. We thought we could make the world a better place. "
"We thought we were superior to everyone around us," Manolito corrected. "We all had quick brains and fast reflexes. Few hunters were better. When we sat in the council circle, it was always Zacarias who came up with the strategies for battles. It was always one of us who managed to think up the ideas for keeping our people from heading toward disaster. "
"What happened?" MaryAnn prompted.
Manolito sighed and dragged both hands through his hair. "Now I realize everyone's thoughts flowed together, flooding us with information. Our gifts allowed our brains to work fast to develop the answers we needed. That was what we contributed to the council meetings, just as everyone else had something of value to contribute. But back then we thought we knew the direction our people should go, and it wasn't the same as Vlad Dubrinsky decreed. He was prince then and our women were so few. "
Riordan shook his head. "Back then there was little hope of finding a lifemate. Few children survived and none of them female. We all could see that the extinction of our species was at hand. It was a matter of time. Many resented being regulated to the murmurings of old men and ancient peoples. We were becoming myth along with the others-the mage, the werewolf and the jaguar. There were many species of shifters, but most had died out, and the same was happening everywhere we looked. "
"We wanted to save our people, so we would sit around with our friends and come up with plans to take over. We had to lead the Karpatu people out of the dying shadows, and back into the world. Anyone who would follow the Dubrinskys and fight on their side had to go. So we played with ideas on how it could be done. "
"They were stimulating intellectual debates," Riordan added. "We didn't mean anything by them. " He spread his hands out in front of him and looked at them, as if he might see the blood of his own people on them.
"Regardless of what we thought back then," Manolito said, "the Malinov brothers are implementing that exact plan. "
"Who are the Malinov brothers?" MaryAnn prompted.
Luiz stirred, eyes snapping open, a gasp of air escaping. His body writhed, muscles locking and contorting.
MaryAnn leaned over the convulsing body with a small sound of distress escaping. "It isn't working, Manolito. "
Manolito caught MaryAnn and set her away from the jaguar-man.
"This is going to be rough, ainaak enyem. He would not want you to witness his conversion. "
She lifted her chin, looking from one brother to the other. "You don't want me to witness the conversion because you don't want me to know what happens," she guessed.
"That as well," Manolito conceded. "But his body will have to rid itself of toxins as the cat fights for supremacy. "
"Juliette's conversion was extremely difficult," Riordan added.
MaryAnn kept her gaze locked with Manolito's. "I honestly believe I can help him with the transition. "
Riordan shook his head. "No one can help. If we could, we would bear most of the pain, but we cannot, not even for our avio palafertul, the other half of our souls. "
MaryAnn reached her hand out to Manolito. He immediately took it, lacing his fingers through hers. "I can help him, Manolito. I comfort people. It's what I do. "
"I am sorry, beloved," he said as gently as he could. "It is too big of a risk. You are unaware of your gifts and you merge with people without even knowing it. I cannot take the chance that you might be locked with him and his body give out before the struggle is complete. I will not risk it. "
"It isn't your risk. "
Something dark and dangerous flickered in the depths of his eyes. A muscle jerked along his jaw, but his features remained absolutely expressionless. "I said no. "
MaryAnn scowled at him. "Manolito, you can't tell me what I can or can't do. "
He moved faster than she expected, his body a blur as he wrapped her up in strong arms, so strong there was no chance to fight. Before she could think to even object, he was striding with her through the house. In all her life, MaryAnn had never had anyone restrain her physically. Furious, she kicked at him, but his strength was enormous and his will made of iron. There was no stopping him.
"I am sorry, ainaak sivamet jutta. "
Forever to my heart connected. She read that in his mind as he glided through the house to her room and deposited her on the bed. His lips brushed a caress into her hair and he left her, closing the door firmly behind him.
Manolito stood there for a moment, murmuring a binding spell to keep the door locked should she manage to remove the hinges. She was entirely capable of such a thing, if any woman was. She was going to be spitting mad at him, but for both Luiz's and MaryAnn's sakes, he preferred she not witness what was about to happen. A shoe thunked against the door, and then a second one. Yeah. She was angry all right.
"Manolito, hurry," Riordan called. "This is going to be bad. "
MaryAnn heard Riordan's urgent yell to his brother, and she caught up the pillow and held it to her stomach, feeling sick. She had been the one to push Manolito into saving Luiz, but now she'd deserted all of them. Luiz was alone, facing a terrible ordeal. She didn't know what it was, but sensed it was traumatic both for him and the two Carpathian males.
Had they ever converted a male before? If it had never been done, maybe there was a reason why. A good reason. She'd been rash to push them into it. She buried her hot face in the pillow, feeling tears burn. Luiz was going to suffer, and somehow she knew Manolito would suffer right along with him. She wanted to hold onto her fury at his highhandedness in locking her in her room, forbidding her, as if she was a small child, from witnessing the change, but because a part of her was still there, with Luiz, with Manolito, and she felt
their agony, she couldn't sustain her anger.
She went into the bathroom and ran hot water in the tub, needing to relax her cramped, hard muscles. Her stomach was in knots. She caught impressions of convulsions, of Luiz's body contorting, wrenched into the air and dropped down hard. She could get glimpses only and realized Manolito was blocking her from merging with him. It had taken a bit to get the trick of their connection, and most of the time when she tried, she simply wasn't that good at it. But now it seemed impossible.
She took a deep breath and let it out. She would not desert Luiz at this stage, not when he needed her most. Manolito was trying to shield and protect her, but whether he knew it or not, he needed her, too. She concentrated on him. The feel and texture of him. The layers in his mind. The intimacy of the path between them-such an unexpected gift. As much as she thought him arrogant, she knew him better now, the gentleness he hid from the rest of the world. She saw his compassion as he held Luiz, felt the way he had reached to calm him.
She felt the cat rake and claw, fighting for survival, and then the sensation was gone. She let her breath out slowly and continued to picture Manolito holding the jaguar-man. She caught a small wave of compassion from both Riordan and Manolito and then the cat again, the alarm building to panic, snapping and biting as it defended itself against the onslaught of Carpathian blood.
She went to her knees, stomach heaving. She knelt, hands and knees on the bathroom floor, gasping for breath as pain rippled through her. She caught Manolito's startled awareness that she was with him, and he once again put her firmly away from him.
There was an agony in being alone, knowing Luiz was suffering and Manolito needed her with him. She felt the need, but couldn't do anything to help either of them. Manolito had been uncompromising, not realizing, or maybe he did, that he was asking her to go against her nature. Once more she pushed away fear and concentrated on Manolito, because in that moment she had connected with him, she felt his struggle with the shadow world. She might not be able to reach Luiz, but she could Manolito. The connection between them was incredibly strong.
And then she was solidly in his mind, in Luiz's mind, and saw for herself the true horrors of conve
rsion. The agony wrenching at the jaguar-man as death called, as the cat fought. Manolito took way too much on himself, shouldering as much of the pain as nature would allow. Both men were stoic, each fully aware of the other, Luiz trying to bear it all with great dignity. Manolito strove to be compassionate and comforting while allowing the jaguar-man his self-respect. In that moment, with tears running down her face and her body writhing in the shared pain of the two men, she knew she could love Manolito wholly, with everything in her.
The attraction may have been started with some ancient ritual. She may have been obsessed physically with him, but in the end, she saw his true character. He was open to her as he tirelessly worked to help Luiz come fully into his world, and her heart responded in the only way MaryAnn knew-completely.