“I may be a drunkard but I’m not blind. They’ve both been like sleepwalkers since you tossed him our enchanting Cassandra.”
She stiffened. “You think I sent Cassie to him to use?”
“Didn’t you?”
“No.” She added with biting anger, “And you’re wrong. You must also be blind if you think I’d force Cassie to do my will.”
“I’m relieved.” He leaned against the railing. “I didn’t want to believe you’d go that far to save Deville.” He made a rueful face. “Though I’d probably accept it.”
“My actions are not yours to accept or refute. Your opinion is nothing to me.”
“Oh, I think it is. It annoys you, but you do find me both charming and witty.”
“Indeed? And modest, too, no doubt.”
He shook his head, ignoring the irony. “You’re too good a judge of character to make that mistake, but you’re definitely drawn to me.”
“I’m not drawn to you. I find you amusing on occasion, but that is all.” She added, “It must be drink that’s befuddling your senses.”
He flinched. “Cruel.”
“Truth.”
“Cruel,” he repeated. “And you’re never cruel to anyone else. Don’t you find that curious?”
She hadn’t thought about it, she realized. The response had been pure instinct. “It annoys me.”
“Why? I’d judge you to be the most tolerant of mortals. You even managed to live with that Kidman harridan.”
“It just does.” She added with sarcasm, “And Clara cannot help the poison in her soul, but you ingest poison into your body every day.”
“But that poison serves to make me a less potent foe. Surely that should earn your approval.” He raised his brows. “I fear your reasoning is grievously at fault. No, my reading of the situation is the right one. You’re definitely drawn to me.”
She gave an inelegant snort.
“You see? I’d be willing to wager that you’d never make that crude sound in the presence of your Deville. His ideal mate is a cultured gentlewoman, and he molded you in the way he wanted you to go.”
“I molded myself.”
“To fit his vision.”
“The vision of all foreigners. You all want the same thing.”
“And what is that?”
“A gracious lady at the dinner table and a pagan in bed.”
“I admit it’s the perfect combination. But if you gave Deville his ideal, why didn’t he marry you?”
“I never asked it.”
“It’s usually the gentleman who asks.”
“I don’t want to discuss this any longer.”
“Because it hurts?”
It did hurt. She had thought she had come to accept the blow to her pride, but it was suddenly there before her. “I don’t need marriage. It’s you foreigners who require vows.”
“Yes, we do.” He paused and then said with great formality, “Will you do me the honor of marrying me, Lani?”
She stared at him in shock. He could not have said what she thought she’d heard.
“I’m considered a good match. I’m not as rich as Jared, but I can keep you in fine style. I’m not completely beyond the pale as far as society is concerned.”
“What are you saying?” she whispered.
“Oh, one more thing.” He looked directly into her eyes and his low voice rang with sincerity. “I will love and honor you all the days of your life.”
She felt as if she had been struck by lightning. Stunned … and unutterably touched. She did not want to feel this moved. She pulled her gaze away and looked out at the sea. “Or until you overhear one of your friends talking about the terrible mistake you made wedding a Polynesian savage. Much better just to make a whore of her.”
“No, that would not end my affection for you.” His voice was very gentle. “Just the life of the man who said those words.”
“I can imagine your fighting over a case of French brandy, never a woman.”
“Another blow. You see, you are trying to be cruel to me. I take that as definitely encouraging.”
She whirled on him. “Then you’re a fool. I have no affection for you. I love Charles Deville.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s kind and gentle and—”
“I’m kind. I can be gentle.” He paused. “And I need you as much as he does. More. That should tip the scales in my favor.”
“That’s nonsense.”
He shook his head. “I believe you’re a woman who was born to give. You require someone to lavish care upon.” He self-mockingly tapped his chest. “Look to me, fair damsel. I’m a bottomless well of need.”
She was shaken. She had not dreamed he had studied her enough to perceive that about her character. “I’m sure you have a bottomless thirst, but that can be accommodated by a—”
“I’ll quit drinking.”
“What?”
“It’s getting in the way and giving you an excuse to push me aside.” He waved a hand. “It’s gone.”
She gazed at him skeptically.
“I control my habits, they don’t control me. It’s gone,” he repeated. “Though I may be making a mistake. My drinking made you feel safe and appealed to your nurturing qualities.”
“Safe?”
“You need not take a drunkard seriously,” he said simply. “But now you’ll be forced to consider my suit.”
“I won’t consider it. I love Charles.”
“You’ve just grown accustomed to the idea of loving him.” He frowned. “No, perhaps you do love him. You have a warm heart, and it’s big enough to hold more than one love. I may have problems with that. But he’s not worthy of you. I feel no guilt in taking you away from him.”
“Particularly since you believe he killed your brother,” she said scornfully.
“I detested my brother. John was a bully and a fool. He made my life miserable from the moment I was born until I escaped from Morland into the pleasant depravities of London. The only person he treated with any degree of affection was Jared. He adored him.” He wrinkled his nose. “Pity. If he’d been as cruel to his son as he was to the rest of the world, Jared wouldn’t be so obsessed with the thought of revenge.”
“Evidently your brother cared enough to try to rescue his cousin from the guillotine.”
“It was an adventure. I never said he wasn’t a brave bastard.”
“So you’re willing to spare Charles because you hated your brother.”
He nodded. “I’ve no driving lust for vengeance, and I do have a driving passion for you. I’ve never felt like this before. It’s … extraordinary.”
“Because I’m Polynesian.”
“Because you’re the most beautiful, strong, clever woman I’ve ever met.” He reached out as if to touch her and then stopped. “You were meant for me, Lani. You were meant to live in my love and under my protection. You were meant to banish all the emptiness in my life. Jared doesn’t believe in destiny, but I do. I have to believe in it. It’s my only hope.”
His words were halting, and so intense, they were almost painful to hear. She wanted to comfort him, hold him, stroke those tousled gray-flecked curls. She could not do it. She swallowed. “You have no hope.” She smiled with an effort. “And you will soon forget this passion you have for me when you see all those fair-skinned Englishwomen again.”
“Dammit, I will not forget—” He stopped and drew a deep breath. “You require proof. I can understand after the way Deville treated you.”
“Charles treated me very well.”
“So you’ve convinced yourself.” His smile lit his rough features with warmth and sweetness. “But not the way I’ll treat you. I’ve never had a treasure of my own. I’ll know how to burnish it and keep it safe.”
She felt again that rush of tenderness and pushed it firmly away. “I’m not a copper pot hanging in the kitchen,” she said tartly. “I need no burnishing. Particularly not from you.”
“Most particularly fro
m me.” His gaze raked her face. “But I think I’d better go away and leave the burnishing for later. I’ve given you enough to think about.”
He turned and strolled away.
More than enough, she thought dazedly. Of course, she would not consider anything he said. She loved Charles, and Bradford was as unsteady as a weather vane. The next time she saw him, he would probably be deep in his cups and have forgotten his declaration.
Yet she had glimpsed a surprising depth and strength in Bradford today. He had shown her a side to his character she had never seen before.
And had not wanted to see.
The realization came with a sudden impact too strong to be denied. Bradford was right: she had used his inebriation as a reason to distance herself. From the first moment of their meeting she had known there was strength and intelligence beneath that careless manner. It had angered her, and then it had made her—
Cautious. She substituted that word for the one that came immediately to mind. Only cautious.
And she would remain cautious. She had told Cassie they must return to the real world, and she must not be distracted from her purpose.
She had an uneasy premonition that this Bradford she had just become aware of might be a force with which to be reckoned.
Where the devil was she?
Jared shifted restlessly before swinging his legs to the floor and standing up. Cassie would come soon. It meant nothing that she was late, he told himself.
But she had never been late before.
He moved toward the window and looked out at the sea. Smooth and serene tonight. No reason for her to be with Kapu.
Perhaps she was ill.
He felt a leap of alarm. Had she appeared unwell at the supper table tonight? No, just quiet and remote as she usually was when they encountered each other outside his cabin. When she walked through that door, there was nothing remote about her. She was all fire and beauty. God, she came alive.
He felt a heavy aching in his loins. How had he come to this? It had never been like this with other women. She was like a sickness, a fever in his blood.
Why was he just standing there, waiting? He should throw on some clothes and go to her cabin as he had threatened. He half turned and then stopped.
Shame. She had averted her eyes when she had asked him if he would insist on coming to her. She had been too proud to plead with him, but he had known she had desperately wished not to be shown vulnerable to Lani. She had been like an uncertain little girl, and he had softened.
As he was softening toward her now, he realized in exasperation. No matter how angry and frustrated he was with her, he could not bring her shame.
But, dammit, where was she? He needed her.
He was striding toward her down the deck.
Cassie didn’t turn away from the sunlit sea but watched Jared approach from the corner of her eye, bracing herself. He looked completely His Grace, the Duke of Morland, today, his expression impassive, his manner imperturbable. Perhaps it would not be as bad as she had feared.
“Good morning.” His tone was silky. “I trust you slept well?”
“Well enough.”
“You lie.” She suddenly became aware of the controlled ferocity beneath the smooth facade. “You’re pale and pinched, and I’d wager you didn’t sleep a wink all night. I can’t tell you how much that pleases me.”
“How very inconsiderate.”
“I don’t feel considerate. I’m angry and impatient, and I’d like nothing better than to throw you to a passing shark. Look at me.”
She kept her gaze on the sea.
“Look at me!”
She reluctantly obeyed. Faint dark circles were smudged beneath his ice-blue eyes, and the skin was stretched taut over his cheekbones. Sleeplessness may have diminished her, but it had sharpened him. He seemed to glitter like a drawn sword in the sunlight. Impossible, she thought wearily. The restless night she’d spent dreading this encounter was making her imagine things.
“Were you ill?”
“No.”
“I didn’t think so.” He drew a deep breath and his hand reached out to grasp the rail. “Then why didn’t you come to me?”
“It was time for it to end.” She looked away from him. “We’ll soon be in England.”
“Very soon. Tomorrow.”
“Really? I thought it would be a few—” She broke off as he grasped her shoulders and jerked her around to face him. “Let me go!”
“End?” he said through his teeth. “You had no plans for it to end with the voyage. Should I remind you? You were going to stay close and use me for your own purpose.”
“The situation has changed. I’ve decided it’s best I no longer couple with you.”
“Best for whom? Not for me and, by God, not for you, either. You want what we have as much as I do.”
“It’s true that I find coupling with you enjoyable,” she said haltingly. Then she met his gaze directly and deliberately used his own words. “But I can’t let it matter to me.”
His grasp tightened on her shoulders. “You find it more than enjoyable, dammit.”
“As Lihua said, you’re very good at pleasure making. I’ve had no experience with other men, but I believe she’s right.” She swallowed. “But we both know that’s not important.”
“If it’s not important, why shouldn’t it go on?”
“Because I find it distracting. It’s time I walked away.”
“And what if I won’t let you?”
“I’ve learned enough about you to know you will not force me. Brutality offends you.”
“Who knows?” He smiled without mirth. “I might learn to like it.”
She shook her head. “Not you. Even when you were most angry with me, you did me no harm.”
“So you’re going to give up your plan of turning me from my chosen path?”
“Of course not. But that doesn’t mean I have to remain in your bed. It’s clear I cannot sway you in that manner. You told me so yourself.” She paused and then said in a rush, “But I’m not sure I entirely believe you. I think you’ll find it much harder to kill my father now.”
“Don’t count on it.”
She had to count on it. She had to believe she had accomplished something and those last weeks of madness were not pure self-indulgence. “And though I’m your hostage, I doubt if you’ll throw me into a dungeon once we reach Morland. As long as I’m free, I have a chance to save my father.”
“And use me to do it?”
“I’ve never lied to you about my intentions.”
His lips twisted. “No, you haven’t. Use me and walk away. Isn’t that the way of it?”
“Yes.” She wished he would leave. Every minute he stayed, the pain grew more and more. “That’s the way of it.”
“But you’re not walking, you’re running like a scared rabbit.”
“If you choose to think so.”
“I know so.” His gaze blazed down at her. “And I’m not going to let you do it. You’ll be back in my bed within a week.”
She shook her head.
“You will.” His voice deepened with intensity. “You will.”
His determination was beginning to shake the little composure she still retained. “How are you going to make me? I suppose you could threaten to take Lani to your bed again.”
“Dammit, you know I don’t want Lani. This is between the two of us. You’ll come to me because that’s what you want to do, what you have to do. You need what we have together.” He smiled grimly. “And I’ll be waiting for you. My chamber at Morland is much larger than the cabin, but you won’t notice the difference. It will be the same for us.”
The same heat, the same urgency, the same wild mating. She shivered at the memory. No, she could never go to him again. It was too dangerous. “Let me go.”
After a moment, his hands suddenly loosened and dropped to his sides. “Not for long. I told you once I’d never let you walk away from me.”
She
stepped back and drew a shaky breath. This painful scene was almost over. He had not given up, but he had accepted rejection for the present. “Watch me.”
She strode down the deck toward her cabin, her spine straight, her head held high. She could feel his gaze on her and was tempted to glance over her shoulder. She knew what she would see: anger, frustration, and that unshakable confidence and determination. The confrontation had been difficult enough; she didn’t want to carry that vision away to haunt her.
She had done it. The bond was broken. She had banished any possibility of betrayal.
She had only to keep to her resolve, and everything would be fine.
“I must say I much prefer this method of deboarding, Jared,” Bradford said as he watched Cassie carefully lead Kapu down the gangplank to the dock. “My nerves would have been horrendously strained if she had to swim ashore.”
“I’m glad you approve.” Jared smiled sardonically. “I’m sure we would all have hated to cause you any discomfort.” He turned away from the rail. “Are you ready?”
“More than ready. I’m weary of this mariner’s life. When you return your hostage to her homeland, you’ll have to do it without me. I wish to stay on dry land for the foreseeable future.” He followed Jared toward the gangplank. “You do intend to return her to her island, don’t you?”
“I haven’t thought about it. Certainly not when she might still prove of value.”
“In what capacity?” Bradford murmured.
Jared had been waiting for the attack; it was long past due. “Say it.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I’ve been wondering when you’d get around to voicing a protest.”
“I never waste my time. Once the seduction was a fait accompli, it would have done no good to try to intervene. You would have merely told me to jump overboard.”
“It was not a seduction. She came to me.”
“And you didn’t try to convince her to stay?” He shook his head. “Of course you did. You used every wile and allure you could muster to keep her. A blind man could have seen it.”
“Why not?” He smiled recklessly. “She said she wanted to use me. I was merely being accommodating.” His smile faded. “You’ve made your protest. Let it alone. Don’t interfere, Bradford.”
“I’m afraid it may become necessary.” He nodded at Lani, who was starting down the gangplank followed by several seamen carrying boxes and portmanteaus. “A new ingredient has been thrown into the mix. If you had not been caught up in your own concerns, you would have realized it.”