“Yes. We’ll leave them together for the night. They’ll couple several times before morning.”
“And you’ll have your foal.” She stood up and brushed bits of hay from the skirt of her gown. “Everything is working out just as you thought.”
“The hell it is.” He rose to his feet. “Tell me what’s wrong!”
“Nothing.” Her voice was halting. “I’m very grateful for your generosity in giving me Morgana. It’s very kind.”
“Kind? You must be ill. I’ve never known you to think me kind.”
“You can be kind.” Kind and ruthless. Gentle and erotic. Darkness and light. The tears were brimming, and she had to get away from him. “Good night …” She turned and fled down the corridor toward the door.
He caught her as she reached the courtyard and whirled her to face him. “Talk to me,” he said through his teeth. “For God’s sake, tell me what—” He broke off as he saw the tears streaming down her cheeks. “My God.”
“I have to go.” She started to struggle. “I have to—”
“Not until— All right, anything, just, for God’s sake, stop crying.” He let her go and stepped back. “But it’s not the end of it. Tomorrow you’re going to tell me what you’re upset about.”
She would never tell him.
She turned and ran across the courtyard. She could feel his baffled, frustrated gaze on her back as she tore up the stairs and into the hall. She would never commit that final betrayal.
She would never, never tell Jared she loved him.
“Cassie?” Josette was sitting on the bottom step of the staircase, dressed in night shift and robe, bare feet curled beneath her. Her eyes were wide with alarm. “You’re weeping. What did he do to you?”
She wiped her wet cheeks with the back of her hands. “What are you doing here?”
“I heard you and Jared arguing in the hall. I was worried … I couldn’t sleep.” She shook her head. “You said he wasn’t angry.”
“He wasn’t.” She started up the stairs. “Go to bed.”
Josette scrambled to her feet and followed her. “Then why are you crying? You never cry.”
“I just am.”
“Why?”
The tears wouldn’t stop flowing and neither would Josette’s questions. Cassie suddenly flared. “It’s my concern. Leave me alone!” Then, when she saw Josette’s stricken expression, she was instantly remorseful. “It’s not … Everything is … it’s too much.”
“Is it Jared? Do you want me to talk to him?”
“No!” She tried to temper the sharpness. “Nothing is wrong. Jared didn’t hurt me. He’s actually been very kind. He gave me Morgana.”
“You have to be jesting,” Josette whispered.
She shook her head. “He’s taking Kapu and Morgana’s foal. So, you see, everything is fine.”
“Then why are you crying?”
“Because I can’t—” She stopped and then said, “Because it’s time I left Morland. I can’t stay here any longer.”
The words startled her as much as they did Josette, but once they were uttered, she knew no other action could result from the realization that she loved Jared. If she didn’t leave him now, she wasn’t sure she would ever leave him.
“No!” Josette cried, dismayed. “Why should you go? Everything is fine now. I don’t have to go back to school, and Jared gave you Morgana. We could have a lovely time.”
“Josette, I don’t belong here. Have you forgotten my father?”
Josette was silent a moment. “I wish you could.” She held up her hand as Cassie opened her lips to speak. “But I know you can’t.” She shook her head. “Jared won’t let you go.”
Cassie forced a smile. “Then I’ll have to go without his knowledge, won’t I?”
“Do you have any money?”
“About a hundred pounds my father left with Lani.”
“Lani will go with you?” Josette answered her own question. “Of course she will.” Her tone became wistful. “It’s just that I’ve gotten so used to both of you. I’ll miss you.…”
“We’ll miss you, too.”
“Truly?”
Cassie nodded her head. “Truly. But I have to go.”
“It’s difficult getting into French ports these days. Few ships will accept the risk.” Josette frowned. “And how will you manage to arrange passage? I doubt if you could leave Morland without Jared’s sanction.”
“I don’t know.” She shook her head wearily. It was trying enough to come to terms with the knowledge that she loved Jared. She couldn’t deal with anything else. “I’ll think about it later. Right now I’m going to bed.” She started up the stairs again. “And so should you.”
“And what about papers?” Josette followed her. “I think you should stay here.”
Cassie shook her head.
“Then I think I should go with you.”
“What!” Cassie turned to look at her in surprise.
“Well, I could sail you across the channel in my boat. If we didn’t land at a major port, you wouldn’t be faced with the problem of papers immediately.”
“You would do that for us?”
Josette grinned. “You need me. I’ve had all kinds of experience in escapes. At least twice a year since Jared sent me to Carradine Hall. Do you think it was easy getting away from the gargoyle all those times? I’m more prepared now than you’d be in a year.”
“Carradine Hall isn’t Morland.” Cassie’s first leap of hope vanished. “I couldn’t let you do that for us.”
She coaxed. “I’m a very good sailor. It wouldn’t be that dangerous just to land you and Lani on a beach near a village and come back.”
“Jared would be angry with you.”
“Not for long. Besides, I’d rather face Jared’s anger than worry about your safety.”
It was very tempting, the answer to most of the obstacles that stood in their way. “I’ll consider it.”
Josette nodded briskly. “You’ll see that my way is best.” She turned down the wing where her chamber was located. She cast Cassie a mischievous glance over her shoulder. “And in the meantime I’ll start making plans. It takes a great deal of forethought to make good an escape.”
Josette’s sorrow and disappointment had been submerged in anticipation and purpose. Cassie wished she could shift emotions so easily. She felt raw and desolate, and the entire world seemed dark. She wanted to run to Lani and hear her say that everything would be all right.
But she couldn’t do that this time. She had crossed into territory that was forbidden to her. How could Lani understand that she loved the man who was her father’s deadly enemy? How could she understand it herself? She didn’t even have the comfort of knowing that Jared loved her in return. He desired her, but passion was not love. He had been consumed by hatred of her father for too many years, and it was madness to think he would ever allow himself to love her. No, his bitterness was too strong, the gulf too deep.
Dear God, the tears were falling again. She must stop this stupid weeping. There was nothing to be done but what they had set out to do. She must save Papa and then return home.
She must make a life for herself far away from Jared, a world away.…
Fourteen
“I don’t like using Josette this way,” Lani said, seated in her usual chair in the library. “It could be dangerous for her.”
“Do we have a choice?” Cassie asked. She didn’t like it either, but there seemed no alternative. “If she turns around and immediately goes back to England, it should lessen the risk.”
Lani nodded slowly. “That’s true. And the journey is only a scant twenty miles or so. My people go much vaster distances in their voyager canoes.” She paused. “Have you a plan for finding Charles? Perhaps he hasn’t even arrived in Paris yet. I told you of the message Jared received from his man, Guillaume, saying that he had not been seen there.” She shrugged. “I suppose it’s possible that Jared received another message to the contrary
. He was suspiciously careless of that first message. I think he meant for me to find it.”
But her father probably had not arrived, or Jared would have departed immediately for the Continent, Cassie thought. “I hope he hasn’t arrived there. When he does, he’ll go directly to Jacques-Louis David for information about Raoul Cambre.”
“And you think this is a dangerous move?”
She shivered. “I met Cambre only once, but I didn’t like him.”
“A child has no great judgment.”
“But excellent instincts. I don’t want Papa near him.”
“And we go to this David and ask him to put us in touch with Charles when he contacts him?”
Cassie nodded. “We can find lodgings at a small pension near David’s residence until he arrives.”
“We are foreigners. There will be questions.”
Cassie chuckled. “I may feel as if I’m a foreigner, but I was born in France, remember. I believe I’ll have no trouble being accepted. We will say you’re …” She thought about it; Lani’s golden skin was both exotic and distinctive. “Egyptian. The widow of one of Napoleon’s officers. He met you when he was campaigning and brought you back to Paris.”
Lani said dryly, “You’ve been spending entirely too much time with Josette. You’re getting overly proficient at falsehoods.”
“Of course, it would be better if David could give us Cambre’s whereabouts in case Papa finds out in some other fashion.” She shrugged. “We will have to see when we arrive what is best.”
Lani looked down into the fire. “And when do we leave on this journey?”
“Tonight, after everyone has gone to bed. Josette says we can slip out to the stable and through the back pasture door. It’s only a mile walk to the path leading down to the shore where her boat is docked. She’ll distract the guard at the stable and then join us there.”
“You’re leaving Kapu and Morgana here with Jared. You realize he’s going to be very angry. What if he refuses to return them to you when all this is over?”
“He won’t do that.”
“You seem very sure.”
“He keeps his promises.” She wearily shook her head. “And even if he didn’t, I couldn’t do anything else. It’s time we left Morland.”
Lani was silent a moment and then nodded. “I think you’re right. We’ve been here too long. One tends to become … confused.”
There was an undercurrent in Lani’s tone that made Cassie’s eyes widen with surprise. Had she been subjected to the same temptation Cassie had known? It seemed impossible. Lani was always steady, completely loyal, never deterring from her purpose. “Lani?”
Lani looked at her and smiled. “But we will no longer be confused once we find Charles. All will be clear and the same as it was before. Won’t it, Kanoa?”
It would never be the same for Cassie, but perhaps it would grow less painful. She nodded jerkily and rose to her feet. “We should each take only one valise. Pack no more than three gowns and your riding habit. Josette will take them to the stable and hide them under the hay in an empty stall. Oh, and wear a warm shawl under your cloak. Josette says it becomes very chill on the water at this time of year.”
Lani made a face. “Josette appears to be completely in command of this journey.”
Cassie nodded. “And she’s enjoying every minute of it.” She moved toward the door. “I’ll see you at supper. Try to rest this afternoon. Josette’s sailboat is very small, and there aren’t any cabins. It won’t be a comfortable journey.”
Lani opened her book again. “Then you should take your own advice.”
“I have to exercise Kapu. After I’m gone, he’ll get little— I forgot, Josette can ride him. She did very well the other day.”
“But you want to ride him anyway.” Lani nodded. “Go on, good-byes are more important than rest.”
Cassie closed the door and moved quickly down the hall.
This ride would not really be a good-bye to Kapu, but it would be farewell to Morland. She might have to return briefly to retrieve Kapu and Morgana, but she would never live within these walls again, never ride with Jared along the cliff path, never watch the humorous byplay between Jared and Bradford at the supper—
“Cassie!”
Jared. Her pace quickened as she heard his steps behind her.
His hand fell on her shoulder, and he spun her around to face him. “Don’t run away from me, dammit.”
“I’m not running away.”
“The devil you aren’t. You’ve been avoiding me all day.”
“I don’t have time to talk to you right now. I have to go ride Kapu.”
“I’ll go with you.”
“No!” She moistened her lips. “Not today.”
He drew an exasperated breath. “I’m trying to be patient, but this can’t go on. Will I see you at supper?”
“Yes, yes, of course.” One last meal together. Another good-bye.
“You promise?”
She nodded. “But I have to go now.”
“Cassie …” His hands opened and closed on her shoulders. “I feel … Did I hurt you in some way?”
She kept her eyes fastened on his cravat. “No.”
“I never meant to hurt you. I’d never … Dammit, look at me.”
If she looked at him, he might realize the truth. She was so filled with love and sorrow, she felt as if they must be written on her face. She swallowed. “We’ll talk about this another time.”
“Tonight?”
She shook her head.
“Tomorrow? We’ll settle this tomorrow?”
She would be gone tomorrow. She would be in France on her way to Paris, far away from him. “Yes, it will all be settled tomorrow.”
He released her, and she fled across the courtyard toward the stable.
Josette landed the sailboat a scant two miles from a small French fishing village just before dawn the next day. “Am I not superb?” she asked triumphantly. “I told you I could do it.” She grabbed one of the valises, jumped out of the boat, and waded the few feet to shore. “Now all you have to do is go to the village and ask the way to Paris.”
“Is that all we have to do?” Lani chuckled as she grabbed the other valise and jumped out of the boat. “I think there are a few minor obstacles to overcome.”
“Well, maybe,” Josette conceded. “But I got you here.”
“Yes, you did.” Cassie followed Lani to shore. “And we thank you very much.”
“It was nothing.” Josette waved an airy hand. “For a marvelous sailor and navigator.”
“And good fortune had nothing to do with it?” Lani asked.
“Absolutely not.” She reached into the pocket of her jacket. “I took these francs from Jared’s desk drawer. He always keeps French currency on hand for his trips abroad.” She pushed the bills into Cassie’s hand. “You may need them until you can find a safe way to exchange your English pounds.”
“You stole them?”
“Borrowed,” she corrected. “You need them more than he does.” She rummaged in another pocket and brought out something that glimmered in the light. “The ruby necklace Jared gave me for my last birthday. If you need to, sell it. Otherwise send it back to me.”
Cassie felt tears rise to her eyes. “Josette, I can’t take—”
“Hush.” She stuffed the necklace into the pocket of Cassie’s cloak and delved again into her seemingly bottomless pockets. “One more thing. It was in the desk in the library, too.”
She handed Lani a small dagger with a bejeweled hilt sheathed in engraved Moroccan leather. “You should have some means of protection since I’m not going with you.” She held up her hand as Cassie started to speak. “I don’t have time to argue.” She gave Cassie a hug. “Go with God.” She turned and embraced Lani. “I’ll miss you.”
Before they could speak, Josette was wading back toward the sailboat. She gave it a push into deeper water, then scrambled over the side. She called, “And you’ll mi
ss me. I should really go with you. You see how well everything goes when I’m in charge.”
“We’ll suffer through without you,” Lani called. “Difficult though it may be. And Jared would be most upset if we took you along.”
Josette nodded glumly. “He’s not going to be pleased now.” She looked at the lightening sky. “He should be reading my note soon.”
“Note?” Cassie said. “You left a note?”
“Of course. I love Jared. I wouldn’t worry him longer than necessary. I left a note on Kapu’s stall door that told him where I’d gone and that I’d be returning by nightfall.”
“You shouldn’t have done that,” Cassie said.
“Why not? Now that he knows I’m coming back, he’ll wait until I get to Morland to question me about where you’re going. That will give you time to make your way to Paris.” Josette grinned. “Isn’t that clever?”
She could find no fault with Josette’s reasoning. “I guess it can do no harm.”
Josette was busily turning the small sailboat. “You’d better change your gowns in that thatch of trees. The hems are wet and might attract attention. Be sure you think of a good story about your presence here. I really should have done it myself while we were sailing. And I think you should—” She was still giving orders when the wind took the sails and the boat skittered beyond earshot.
Josette sighed and lifted her hand in farewell before turning her full attention to the sail.
Cassie waved and kept on waving until Josette’s small, valiant figure was lost in the half darkness. It had been a long journey, and Josette had borne the brunt of it. Now she must make the same journey alone. “Will she be all right?” she murmured.
“Of course she will. She’ll be out of sight before it’s fully light, and it’s a calm sea.” Lani gently took Cassie’s arm. “Come along, we must obey Mademoiselle General and change our gowns.”
“They’re gone.” Jared crushed the note in his hand. “Christ, I may strangle Josette.”
Bradford took the crumpled note from him and spread it out with shaking hands. “When do we leave?”