Hands reached around from behind me, closing around my waist.
“Submit just once,” Aeson said in my ear. “Submit just once to me, and you can pass on.”
His hands pulled me against him, and I tried to squelch my rising nausea. Some reasonable part of me said it didn’t matter. None of this mattered. I wasn’t here in body. I couldn’t get pregnant. This wasn’t actually happening.
Yet…it seemed so real. And for all intents and purposes, it was. His hands upon me. His breath against my neck. It felt exactly as it would in physical form, as I knew it was intended to.
I opened my eyes and saw my father watching me. Beyond him, Kiyo moved farther away.
“All right,” I said, barely recognizing my own voice.
Aeson turned me around and kissed me, harsh and bruising, uncaring that my lips stayed inert and did not kiss him back. He pulled me down, putting my back against the sharp planes of the stone. The last thing I saw before all went to blackness was Storm King looking down at me, face cold and uncaring. I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the mental and physical hurt.
When I let myself see again, I sat on the ground, palms down against the hard surface. Just like before, I felt no more pain, and I could tell my clothes were whole once more. Another illusion…one my body had no memory of but which would stay etched in my mind for some time, I suspected. Standing up, I moved forward, on toward Kiyo.
Someone else was waiting for me in the next chamber, a man I’d never seen before. He was slim and small, dressed in scarlet velvet bordering on outlandish. He held a small cloth-wrapped bundle in his hands and paced around nervously. When he caught sight of me, his face brightened with relief.
“There you are, your majesty!” he exclaimed. “I’ve been waiting.”
“Waiting for what?”
He proffered the bundle before me. “To give you your crown. You have to put it on.”
I eyed the bundle nervously and then looked at the smooth, blank wall between Kiyo and me. “Is that what I need to do to get through? Put on the crown?”
He nodded, shifting from foot to foot. “Hurry. We’re running out of time.”
I knew what the crown was for. I knew what Dorian had done outside of Aeson’s fortress. Somehow, some way, I had gained the Alder Land. I had become its queen. I sure as hell didn’t want it, though. If I made it away from here alive, I’d definitely rectify the problem. But if wearing the crown here was what it took to pacify this next sadistic torment, then I would do it. It was a whole lot easier than everything else I’d been through.
“Fine. Give it to me.”
He handed me the bundle. I unwrapped and nearly dropped it when I saw what lay inside.
Aeson had worn a gold circlet. Dorian’s crown, which he rarely wore, was similarly simple. It resembled a ring of leaves, beaten out in different metals: silver, gold, and copper. Presumably Maiwenn and the rest of the Otherworldly monarchs wore similar items.
But this…this was not a simple circlet. It was heavy and platinum, an intricate swirl of metal set with diamonds and amethysts. Storm King’s crown. Only it was smaller. A bit more delicate. Designed for a woman.
“What is this?” I exclaimed.
The man gave me a puzzled look. “Your crown.”
“This isn’t the Alder Land’s crown. This is my father’s crown.”
“What else would you wear, your majesty?”
I tried handing it back to him, but he stepped away from it. “I don’t want it. I won’t wear it.”
“You have to. It’s the only way.”
He looked at me pleadingly, almost like he wanted me to move on to the next stage of this game as much as I did. I didn’t need his entreaty. I wanted to move on too. Badly. Badly enough to finally lift the crown up with shaking fingers and rest it on my head.
Instantly, I no longer stood in the chamber. I was on a high, cragged peak, overlooking vast sweeping plains. The sky was dark and heavy with clouds, and lightning danced among them. Below, on the plains, armies stretched as far as the eye could see. Armies of gentry and spirits and the myriad creatures living in the Otherworld. The crown felt heavy on my head yet did a poor job of holding down my hair as the wind whipped it around. A gown of indigo velvet embraced my body, and a black and silver fur cloak draped my shoulders. In my left hand, I held my wand, and in the crook of my other arm, I held a baby.
It was wrapped up in white blankets, its eyes closed. A fine haze of hair, its color indistinct, swept over its head. I had no idea who its father was—I didn’t even know if it was a boy or girl—but some instinctual part of me knew it was mine. Tentatively, I reached out with my fingers and touched that fine hair. It felt like down, like the softest, finest silk imaginable. The baby stirred slightly at the touch, snuggling against me, and something inside of me stirred as well.
I jumped as a hand encircled my waist, and a warm body moved next to mine. Dorian. A sword hung at his side, and a new crown sat on his head, more elaborate than his former circle of leaves. It was made of thick gold, heavy with jewels and dazzling to behold. But it wasn’t as big as mine.
“They’re waiting for your order,” he said.
I followed his gaze out to the fields of people and saw that they were all on their knees before me, heads touching the earth. Above them, thunder rumbled as the storm swirled restlessly.
“I don’t know what to do,” I told him.
“What you have to do.”
As though moving of its own accord, the hand holding my wand rose into the air. The armies rose with it, like I was a puppeteer pulling marionettes to life. A great roar sounded among them, swords banging on shields and magic flaring in salute. One downward motion, and I knew they would march. One motion from me, and I would unleash hell itself. The roar intensified. Dorian’s body shifted closer. The baby stirred again.
My hand felt heavy and started to fall….
I stood alone in the stone chamber. No man. No crown. The doorway had appeared, and I lunged for it.
The darkness engulfed me, and I swear the tunnel had grown more narrow than before. Still I moved onward. I could feel Kiyo growing closer and closer. I ran, needing to find him, needing to reach out to him, needing to—
And there he was.
He lay on a small dais in this new chamber, wearing his human shape. He was on his back, whole and perfect, his hands clasped on his chest like a sleeping fairytale princess.
I moved toward him, and a woman moved in front of me.
I didn’t know how I hadn’t seen her before. She had just appeared. I looked at her and squinted, trying to focus, but had trouble. Her appearance kept shifting. One instant she was golden and lovely, honey-blond hair pouring to her ankles. The next she was pale as death, black hair sweeping behind her like a funeral shroud, yet still beautiful in a frightening sort of way.
Persephone herself blocked my path, and I knew there was no way I could go through her.
“Let me have him. Please. I’ve passed all the tests, just like you wanted.”
What I wanted? It was the same voice I’d heard before, only now amusement tinged its edges. None of that mattered to me. They were not my tests. This world is what you bring to it. Most of the dead bring guilt or regret. You brought your fears.
I peered beyond her to Kiyo, my soul screaming out to his.
“What do you want? What do I need to do to take him?”
What makes you think I’ll give him to you? He’s mine. I received him fairly. The dead do not leave my realm.
I racked my brain, turning over every story or myth I’d ever heard.
“What about Orpheus? You let him take Eurydice.”
But in the end, she did not leave. He was not strong enough. She stayed.
“You don’t need him, especially since I’ve sent you so many other souls.”
Was it truly for me? Or your own ends?
“Does it matter?”
Perhaps not. But now I have two more, and I do not have to give them up.
“Then do it as a favor,” I begged.
A favor? Her amusement grew. Why would I do that?
“Because I’ve served you faithfully. And because we’re the same. I’m trapped in two worlds too, and I don’t think I can get out of that. I’m torn in two forever now.”
I touched the butterfly tattoo on my arm, half black and half white. Just like Persephone, who spent half her existence as a goddess of springtime and half as a ruler of death. Just like me, half human and half gentry. Half lover, half killer. In Swan Lake, Odile is the dark swan and Odette is the light swan, yet both are played by the same dancer.
She only stared, and I desperately tried to think of something. “You said this world is what we bring. I brought love too. Doesn’t that count for anything?”
She considered. That depends. Will you give up your love? Sacrifice it to me? Promise you will stay away from him forever, that you will forsake your love.
I stared at Kiyo’s inert form, thinking how it would be to never see him again. Something inside of me died at that thought, but I didn’t hesitate.
“All right. I agree.”
Persephone stared at me a moment, then Kiyo vanished.
It is done.
“You sent his soul back? He’ll live?”
If his body is healed soon, then yes, he’ll live.
She continued staring at me, and I realized I’d made no such guarantees for my own return. In fact, I could no longer feel that glittering connection to my own body.
You are trapped here, she affirmed.
“I know. It’s okay. It’s worth it.” And I meant it. Kiyo’s life meant more than my own.
Her blue-to-black-to-blue eyes held me. Then, as improbable as it seemed, she sighed.
Go back. Go back to your dual existence. I will see you again someday, and then you will stay.
Her fingers touched my forehead, and a searing pain ran through me. My form disappeared in a flurry of feathers and black wings, and I felt myself being pulled out of this world. Just before I left completely, she spoke again. Her voice was tired and maybe just a little sad.
Keep your love. I have no use for it anymore.
An instant later, I woke up in my physical body, gasping and choking for air as I returned to life.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
About two days passed before I had enough of a grip on consciousness to get out of bed. I had dim recollections of a commotion outside Aeson’s stronghold after returning to my body that night but little more. Shaya had cradled me in her arms. Dorian had yelled for a healer. But best of all, beside me I’d seen Kiyo stir.
Now I woke up in one of Dorian’s many guest rooms. It was smaller than his but as opulently decorated as everything else around there. I’d come to a few times before this but only now found the strength to stay up. Nia, who had hovered by my side the entire time, remained less convinced.
“You shouldn’t…you need to sleep more….”
I was stripping off the long chemise they’d put me in, trading up for my recently laundered clothes. “If I sleep any more, I’ll be dead, and I’ve already come too close to that. Where’s Dorian? I need to talk to him.”
“I’m sure he’d come to you, your majesty.”
I winced at the title. “No. Just take me to him.”
Despite her protests, her sense of duty couldn’t disobey the order. She led me through the maze of corridors where I earned a number of curious looks from the various occupants. Since my initial arrival, I’d become sort of a common fixture around here, accepted and ignored. Now people regarded me with the same frightened curiosity I’d first received.
Outdoors, we found Dorian in one of the gardens, standing over a small, fluffy dog. Muran hovered nearby, and between them, they tried unsuccessfully to coax the dog to lie down and roll over. It merely sat looking at them, tail thumping.
Dorian noticed me first, his face breaking into a wide smile. The healers had been at work on him too; no trace of the burns remained. “Queen Eugenie, lovely to see you out and about.”
Muran nearly fell all over himself to bow. “Y-your majesty.”
“We need to talk,” I told Dorian firmly. “Alone.”
“I never tire of being alone with you. Nia, take this unreasonable beast away with you. And take the dog too.” He waved them off.
Once alone with him, I demanded, “What the hell were you thinking?”
“There are so many incidents to which you could be referring, I don’t even know where to start.”
“Yes, you do. You made me queen of Aeson’s kingdom.”
“Your kingdom now, my dear.”
I paced around in the grass irritably. It was the middle of the day, crisp and sunny. “I didn’t want it. You had no right to do it.”
“It’s done. Besides, if I hadn’t, someone else might have snatched it up. Would you have liked to see your charming little sister on the throne?”
That stopped me. Extensive searching had found no trace of Jasmine. She seemed to have gotten away cleanly during the yeshin fight.
“Give it to someone else. There has to be a better choice than Jasmine or me.”
“Give it away?” He laughed his wondrous melodic laugh, the one that declared all the world was a joke. “The land recognized you. You can’t go back on that. It’s yours forever…well, at least until you die. Or pass it on to an heir.”
“Great. Here we go again. I might have known you’d start pushing that.”
“I did no such thing, but…since you brought it up…”
I stopped pacing and glared at him. “Quit it. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t even want to think about it.”
Some of his humor faded. “Maybe you should. Jasmine certainly will be. If she has a son first, all your good intentions won’t matter. You say you don’t want it, but you know…it could all turn out differently if you beat her to it.”
It was so alarmingly close to what Storm King had told me in the Underworld that I didn’t even know what to say at first. Was this a coincidence? I felt pretty sure that all I’d seen there had been an illusion, meant to test my resolve and make me face my fears.
“What’s wrong?” Dorian asked, seeing my face. There was nothing sly or knowing in his expression, only worry.
“Nothing. Look, forget about the prophecy for a minute. Go back to the Alder Land thing. If you were so worried about it falling into the wrong hands, why didn’t you just seize it for yourself?”
“Why, Eugenie, do you think me so power hungry?”
“Yes. I do. I’ve heard and seen as much. When these kingdoms were formed, you wanted more. And you had your chance when Aeson died.” He didn’t answer, and I pushed on, knowing I was right. “But that would have upset a lot of people, wouldn’t it? Maiwenn and the others might have turned against you. But by making me Alder Queen…you got a placeholder. No one can say anything because I defeated Aeson fairly in battle, and now you have easy access to the same power. You plan to use me and this fucking title to extend your control.”
“You have a very low opinion of me. No wonder you’re so upset.”
“Come on. Why else would you have done it?”
He stared in astonishment. “Why, because I love you.” He said it as though it was the most reasonable thing in the whole world. Like I should have known this already.
“You barely even know me.”
“We’ve known each other almost as long as you’ve known the kitsune, and I daresay you think you’re in love with him. Your little foray that night demonstrated as much. By the gods, that was one of the most foolish things I’ve ever witnessed. You stopped breathing. I thought you were dead.”
I heard the catch in his voice, and it really struck me that he just might love me after all. It gave me a strange feeling, one I didn’t know how to cope with. Dorian loving a person was almost incomprehensible. I thought of him as loving only his own amusements and ambitions.
“I do love Kiyo,” I said in a
low voice. “And if we can work it out…I’m going to—”
He shrugged, carefree and lax again. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t mind sharing you.”
“You told Aeson you don’t share.”
“As a general rule, no—and certainly not with the likes of him—but I don’t think you’ll give me exclusivity, so I must compromise.”
“There isn’t going to be any exclusivity or compromise.”
“So you say. You also said you’d never come to my bed in the first place. Or that you’d ever use magic. You probably said a dozen other things too. We all saw how those turned out.”
“Stop it. I’m serious about this.”
“And so am I. You’re a queen now. You control part of this world. Ally with me, and we’ll be the greatest power since your father.”
“I don’t want the power or the Alder Land.”
“It’s the Thorn Land now.”
“I—what?”
“The land conformed itself to you. The Alder Land was Aeson’s domain. Yours is the Thorn Land. You’re the Thorn Queen.”
“The smokethorn,” I recalled. If someone tried to force a crown of thorns on me, that was going to be seriously fucked up.
“Very fitting actually. A tree covered in beauty yet possessing a sharp and deadly core.”
I shook my head. “I don’t care about metaphors. I don’t want to rule this kingdom.”
He moved into my space, something passionate kindling in those gold-green eyes. “So what? You think you can just ignore it? Pretend it’ll go away? The land conformed itself to your will! You can’t turn away from that. Its survival depends on you—particularly since, for reasons only the gods know, you turned it into a wasteland.”
I faltered. “Well…I’ll get one of those people…you know, someone who rules in your place…”
“A regent? That’ll only work for so long. You can’t avoid the land. You have to come back and visit it, or it will die. You’re connected now.”
“I didn’t want this, Dorian.” I felt tired. Maybe getting up hadn’t been such a good idea after all. “You shouldn’t have done it.”
“We’ll have to agree to disagree on that, but I’ll do what I can to make amends. Take Shaya. She’d make an excellent regent. And I’ll give you Rurik and Nia and any other servants you seem to like reasonably well.”