“We were…” She paused but then made herself say it. “We were more.”
“What we were was a lie. You know it as well as I do.”
“Some of it was. You lied to me just like I lied to you. But I don’t think all of it was a lie. There was something…real.”
“But even real things don’t survive something like this.”
He was rejecting her. Obviously. He wasn’t even leaving open the possibility of there being any future between them. He wasn’t even letting her ask.
But she was here, and she could sense something fragile and wounded beneath Caleb’s coldness, and she hated it. She hated that she’d done it to him. She hated to leave it like that. So she said, “I don’t know if that’s true.”
He walked over closer to her, and he gave a dry, humorless laugh. “Seriously? You think we’re going to fall into each other’s arms now? Everything forgiven? After what you did?” Before she could respond, he added, “After what I did too?”
At least he was acknowledging that. He’d had as long to think things through as she had. They were both guilty in this. They’d both torn apart what had been real between them.
But in some ways it was better, since it meant they were in the same boat.
“Relationships have survived worse.”
“Have they?” He shook his head. “I don’t know if that’s true. But I can at least speak for myself.”
She stared at him for a full minute, trying to figure out what to say, what to do, whether to even keep trying when he was clearly slamming the door in her face.
Then, suddenly, she was so tired that her legs didn’t want to keep holding her up. She slumped to the leather couch against the wall.
To her surprise, Caleb came over and lowered himself to sit beside her, leaning back as if he were as tired as she was. They didn’t look at each other. They both stared out at the view of DC through the wall of windows.
“I can’t believe you came here,” he said at last, not sounding quite as bitter as before.
“Honestly, I can’t believe it either. I knew there wasn’t much chance. But I just can’t…”
When she didn’t finish, Caleb turned his head to look at her. “You can’t what?”
“I can’t breathe. All the way. Leaving it like that with you, it just didn’t feel like I could breathe.”
Caleb let out his own breath in an audible gust. “Yeah. Me either.”
She sat up straighter, feeling a little hope at this admission. “So maybe we don’t leave it like we did.”
“Then what do you suggest? If it’s not broken but there’s no rosy future waiting for us, what’s left?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t know.” Without thinking, she reached out and put a hand on his knee. When he didn’t pull away, she stroked it slowly, wanting to touch him, needing to feel the solid warmth of his body beneath his clothes.
He still didn’t pull away, and it made her feel better, so she kept it up—the touch intimate but intentionally not sexual.
After a minute of silence, Caleb murmured, “I guess I should thank you—for not making what you know public. At least not yet.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“You could have told the world what you know.”
“Yeah. And that would have accomplished absolutely nothing. I’m working on…”
“On what?”
“Letting go,” she admitted.
“How are you doing with that?”
“It’s not my natural inclination, but it’s…it’s helped. Some.”
“That’s good.” Caleb’s brown eyes had been focused on her face, but now they shifted down to watch her hand as it still stroked his thigh.
Something about the adjustment in focus made her suddenly conscious of his body. Not just his presence but his body. His strong, lean, virile body.
A body she’d always loved.
Her eyes drifted down to her hand too, and she realized it was farther up his thigh than she’d intended. Then she saw Caleb’s response to her touch in the bulge she could see in his trousers.
Her own body responded to seeing how he’d responded to her.
“I guess that doesn’t go away,” Caleb murmured in a thick voice she well remembered.
“What doesn’t go away?” Of its own accord, her hand had slid a little closer to his groin.
“How much I want you.”
Kelly gulped and flushed hotly. He hadn’t moved, hadn’t touched her. All he’d done was say those words and give her that intense look.
But it was enough to cause her pussy to clench in excitement. “I still want you too,” she admitted. “I don’t think it’s ever going to go away.”
The words were true, and she realized how true they were as she said them. She dropped her head, suddenly pained at how hard it would be to go through the rest of her life wanting Caleb and never being able to have him.
He leaned over and pushed her hair back over her shoulder so he could see all of her face. “I haven’t been able to sleep. I stay awake all night thinking about you, and no matter how futile I know it is, my body just won’t stop wanting you.”
“My body wants you too,” she whispered, her breath quickening as she raised her hand from his thigh to his chest. This felt right. This felt like them.
This felt real—in a way it hadn’t when they were together before.
Like she knew who Caleb really was now—in all of his strength and weakness and light and shadow. And like he knew who she really was too.
Her hand rested on his chest, the soft texture of his suit oddly sensual, particularly when paired with the solid strength of the chest beneath it. She fisted her hand unconsciously, her fingers clenching around a handful of fabric.
“I’d convinced myself this would never happen again,” Caleb murmured.
“It can. If you want to.” She slid her hand down his chest toward his belly.
His abdomen was hard too. All of him was hard. And tight. And masculine.
And exactly as she’d known it would be.
“I do want to.” He reached out and slowly stroked down the long fall of her hair. “But this isn’t a happy ending. If we do this, you can’t be hoping for that.”
A tiny part of her had been hoping for that, but it wasn’t the deepest or most important part.
She could have this with Caleb now, and it would be good. It would be so much better than the way they’d parted before.
That alone would be worth it.
“I know what this is,” she told him.
She could feel the tension in his body as he leaned toward her. “Then we’re agreed.” His words were a simple statement, but his thick voice sounded more like a promise.
Kelly felt her whole body washed with heat, and she couldn’t seem to catch her breath. Without thinking, she licked her dry lips, and she saw his hungry expression as she did so.
And she wanted it. She wanted him to look at her that way. She wanted to feel his hands on her body. She wanted to press up against the hard strength of him. She wanted to feel the texture of his face, his hair, his palms.
She waited for him to make a move, but he didn’t. He just kept gazing at her, like he would swallow her whole.
And she realized he wasn’t going to make a move. He wanted this, but it wasn’t going to happen unless she initiated things.
So she pushed him back gently until he was leaning against the sofa. Using his shoulders to brace herself, she crawled over him until she was straddling his lap, hiking up her skirt to free her legs.
“Oh, fuck, Kelly.” Something hot and compelling ignited in his eyes, and his hands settled on her hips possessively.
Kelly felt confident and powerful and genuinely alive for the first time in so long. “Caleb,” she murmured, leaning so close to him she could see each dark bristle on his jaw. “I know what this is, and I want it anyway. What are you afraid of?” She pitched her tone to be a clear challenge.
&n
bsp; A challenge she knew he would meet.
His hands had moved slightly until they were spanning the full curve of her ass. “I’m not afraid.”
The feel of his hands there made her intimate muscles clench in excitement. “Aren’t you? Then why aren’t you moving?”
The smolder in his gaze was even hotter than before. “I am moving. I’m just taking my time.”
His hands slid to her hips—very slowly. Then to the dip of her waist. Then up to cup her breasts. “You were always so eager. You need to learn a little patience.”
Her lips parted slightly as she arched into his hands, trying to rub her tight nipples against his palms through the fabric of her shirt. Her whole body clenched in excitement, and her heart and mind leapt into the same state. Because this was Caleb—in all of his intelligence and humor and sexy provocation and power. The Caleb he’d always been, with nothing in between them anymore.
On that revelation, she twined her hands behind his neck and leaned down into a kiss.
He moaned softly into her mouth as their tongues and lips tangled and dueled.
When she pulled away, his hands had slid down to palm her bottom again. “Fuck, Kelly, you’ve never been this eager before.”
Her pussy was wet and aching, and she couldn’t stop herself from rubbing it against his groin.
He was aroused too—the tight bulge in his pants thrilling and increasingly evident. She rubbed herself against it until he groaned.
“I’m not the only eager one,” she said.
“I’ve never been anything but eager when it comes to you,” he said thickly and pulled her down into another kiss.
This one was even better, even deeper. He wrapped one arm around her, pressing her chest against his. The position pushed her groin against his even more, and she groaned into his mouth at the delicious friction.
When their mouths tore apart, he grabbed the back of her head to keep her face close to his. He rubbed his skin against hers, the rough texture grating with a slight discomfort that was distinctly erotic.
She gasped against his cheek, momentarily afraid she was going to come just from the pressure of his erection against her clit and the friction of his jaw against hers.
Whimpering softly, she fisted her hand in his hair, pulling on it in a way that must have hurt. “God, Caleb! I’ve missed this.”
He gave a hoarse chuckle and then a little buck against her throbbing pussy. “Yeah. Me too.”
But he responded to her unspoken plea, pushing her skirt even more until it was hiked up around her hips.
Instead of cupping her bottom, this time he cupped her groin with one hand.
He would easily feel how wet she was—her desire dampening the fabric of her panties.
“Fuck, baby,” he rasped, arching his back slightly as he applied pressure on her pulsing clit with the heel of his hand.
She gave a little sob of pleasure and rode his hand instinctively, bracing herself with her hands on his broad shoulders.
His fingers dipped under the fabric of her panties so that he could stroke her swollen pussy. “Fuck, you feel good. You’re so wet. Come here.” He gestured with his free hand and then pulled her face back down to kiss her.
Kelly responded to his deep kiss. One of her hands moved to his face, and she rubbed his jaw, loving how masculine, how real he felt beneath her palm.
They’d established a sensual rhythm between their bodies, Caleb giving gentle thrusts as she pushed her pelvis down toward his upward pressure. She was so into it that her pleasure built in urgency until she was just on the edge of coming.
When she started whimpering and huffing against his mouth and her body began to shake, Caleb tore his mouth away with a jerk. “Okay. We better move along. One or both of us is going to lose it pretty soon.”
With a shaking laugh, Kelly fumbled at the top button of his trousers, her hand brushing against the tight bulge of his arousal as she worked. “I could lose it without too much trouble. But I’d be kind of disappointed if you lost it too.”
“Yeah.” Caleb’s voice was dry despite the sexy tension on his face. “That’s what I was afraid of.”
She was about to unzip him when she suddenly remembered something. “Wait. We should use a condom.”
They’d stopped using them before, but it had been two weeks, and she had no way of knowing if he’d fucked anyone in the meantime.
His face twisted—from the effort to control himself, she thought. “Yeah. Do you have one? I think I probably—”
“I’ve got one.” She swung her leg over his lap and stood up, walking over to where she’d left her purse. She pulled out a condom packet and hurried back over to the couch with it.
She looked at him before she moved over him again.
He was a rumpled mess—tousled hair, half-open pants, wrinkled shirt, obvious erection. But the sight of him sent jolts of pleasure down to her pussy, along with a silly kind of pride that she was the one who’d made him look that way.
“Change your mind?” Caleb asked, gazing up at her hotly.
“No.” Frowning, she straddled his lap again. “Why would I have changed my mind?”
He shook his head and unfastened his pants. “I thought maybe after you had a minute to think, you’d decide this wasn’t what you wanted.”
“Shows what you know. Do you not want it anymore?”
“I feel like I’ve wanted you all my life.” His hands slid around the backs of her thighs until he could feel between her legs. “I just never knew it until now.”
With his pants unfastened, all Kelly had to do was pull out his cock. She stared down at his hard flesh in her hands, her fingers fair and small against him.
He sucked in a sharp breath as she gently stroked him with her fingertips. The sound sent a tug of pleasure down to her center. She brushed her palm against the head, mostly to hear him make another sound like that.
“Fuck!” he gasped, stiffening his spine and clamping his fingers down on her bare bottom.
She looked up with an expression of pleased surprise. “That good?”
“Oh, baby. You know it is.”
She felt intense and heavy and deeply aroused as he rolled on a condom, and then Kelly raised herself up on her knees above him, moved aside her panties, and tried to align herself on his cock.
He held himself in place as she lowered herself over him, sheathing his erection with her wet pussy.
She sucked in a breath and arched her back, her mouth falling open as she tried to adjust to the penetration. It had only been a couple of weeks, but he felt incredibly big inside her, her channel stretching around him tightly.
“That doesn’t look like a good face.” Caleb’s voice broke into her consciousness. He was tense beneath her and his hands were still hard on her ass. But his mouth was relaxed and his voice almost natural.
Catching her breath, Kelly felt herself adjusting around the penetration of his cock. The slight discomfort eased to a deliciously snug, clingy feeling. And she smiled down at his sharp scrutiny. “Oh, no. It’s definitely good.”
He released a long breath that sounded like relief. “That’s good. Because it’s sure as hell good for me.” He gave a little thrust up—causing a jolt of pleasure to shoot through her.
He seemed a little different than he had before—not quite so in control, not quite so inhumanly powerful. She couldn’t help but notice the difference, and it somehow turned her on even more. She leaned down into another kiss.
Caleb returned her kiss with skill and leisurely attention—stroking her lips, her tongue, and the inside of her mouth with his tongue. With her arms twined around his neck, Kelly couldn’t suppress the silly whimpers and groans in the back of her throat. It felt good and her guard was down. Her vocal responses were inevitable.
Caleb’s hands tightened on the flesh of her ass, and his grip began to urge her into motion. He guided her hips in a steady rhythm, which she sustained by levering up and down with her thighs.
r /> The motion caused his cock to slide deliciously inside her, the stimulation exactly what she needed. An orgasm gathered at her center, the pressure deep and powerful and real.
Caleb was breathing harshly through his nose as he kissed her, and as her motion intensified he began to make soft, guttural grunts that sounded both primitive and sexy as hell. His response encouraged her to accelerate her movement over him—wanting to hear more of those grunts.
Her motion forced her mouth away from Caleb’s, but she kept her face near his. She was panting now too, and the mingled texture of their fast breathing formed a connection, a sharing that made her feel even closer to him. He moved a hand up to curve around the back of her head, his fingers sliding through her loose hair.
For some reason she loved the way his strong hand felt in her hair, against her skull. Then he pressed her face toward him, so forcefully she couldn’t resist, until he was kissing her again. She squirmed above him, feeling his cock—hard and substantial—move inside her. She was still wet. In fact, she was wetter now than ever, the moisture leaking out around his erection so that she could feel it on her inner thighs. “God, you feel good,” she murmured against his lips.
She didn’t just mean his cock. She meant all of him. She loved how his body felt against hers.
Caleb let out a lingering groan as she began to ride him again—this time hard and fast. His hands had been spanning her rib cage but now they moved up slightly until he could rub her nipples with his thumbs through her shirt. Her breasts were bouncing up and down, and that combined with his caress to intensify her building orgasm. “You feel incredible,” Caleb murmured as he devoured her shaking form with warm brown eyes. “Fuck, blossom, there has never been anyone like you.”
The words soothed something broken in her heart and sent her spiraling faster toward climax.
The compulsion was becoming urgent now, so she braced herself more securely with her hands on his shoulders. Then she rode him as fast as she could—her rhythm primitive and needy. She huffed out grunts of effort and pleasure.
“Fuck, yeah,” Caleb rasped, his pelvis bucking up against hers. “Oh, yeah.”
Her whole body was jiggling—her hair, her breasts, her clit, the flesh of her ass and her thighs. And the indirect stimulation mingled with the thrusting of his cock to push her at last into orgasm.