Every night since he left, I dreamt of Jaeden and wondered if he ever thought about me. On the way back to the shelter the day Jaeden left, Lachlan explained that the elders were the lawmakers for the vampires and if they said they’d do something, they would. Anything they ordered was carried out with brutal efficiency. How Shamus convinced them that my dad was an asset and not a threat was nothing short of miraculous. My worries about the elders escalated when I found some damning information on one of my mom’s tapes and I had to confide in Lachlan.
Sentinels, it turned out, were hunters of vampires or any other creature that became out of control and a threat to humans. Their powers made them judge, jury and executioner all rolled into one, which explained quite a bit of changes I had been going through. Sentinels were invisible death. No wonder Shamus said that Sentinels were just rumor and myth. If the elders knew more about Sentinels than Shamus indicated, I had very little hope that Jaeden would be back unless it was to kill me.
*~*~*
Winter had arrived and snow was piling up, which meant most of the animals for meat were in hibernation. I spent most of the morning hours hoping Grayson was being fed, and taken care of. Our mother was a cold calculating bitch, so it was doubtful. My only hope was that she wanted him alive, because if she did, she’d have to feed and take care of him.
Days went by, and eventually the rogue pack gave up on an all-out attack. They had not managed to get through the shelter’s defenses, but they had made it impossible to go out at all. Maggie had developed an infection after she’d sustained a new injury; she’d been trying to overdo it with the need to make up for the time she was down. Her immune system was still compromised from surgery and she’d spiked a fever.
I waited as long as I could before I finally made the decision.
“I’m going for medicine,” I told Addy as she walked into my room as I was dressing in white camo snow pants and a hooded jacket that had fur trim. “The antibiotics I have aren’t doing the trick for Maggie.”
“Emma, you know it’s not safe out there. Those asshole rogues are still around.”
“And they won’t leave, but look; if I don’t go, she’s dead. I can’t let them force us to hide forever. I’m going to slip out and Lachlan, Aydan, and a bunch of his guys are going to distract them. It’s not like I’m just running out there and yelling here I am, bite me! We actually have a plan.”
“Emma, you’ve done nothing but walk around here like a flipping zombie for the past two months! I’m not losing you; if you wanna go, you take me with you!”
“Addison Kathryn Stokes, I will duct tape you and toss your ass in the pantry. I have a couple of things working in my favor these days; you don’t.” I blinked. She blinked. I looked up to find Lachlan watching us as I finished slipping my pack on.
“Two girls, duct tape, that sounds kinky as fuck,” he said with a cocky smile on his lips.
“Men,” I said as an image of Jaeden plagued me. I wasn’t over him, and the fact that I’d fallen after I’d tried so hard not to was driving me insane. His face haunted my sleep, and in it, he was always making love to me. The last time we’d gone at it, his hands had been gentle. It was more than fucking; he’d kissed me everywhere, and whispered things I’d never expected to hear from a man, and it was that time that I kept replaying in my head.
“Emma, we’re ready,” he said ignoring my eyes that I had dramatically rolled just for him. “Keep rolling those eyes, lass, and I’ll make your toes do the same.”
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“Like this,” he said with a cocky grin right before he pulled me to him and kissed me until my toes did just as he’d threatened to make them do. He was sweet, and for the first time since that incident in the showers months ago, I allowed his tongue to push inside, and when I did, he deepened the kiss. My body responded, and I allowed him to move his hands down my back as I placed mine on his chest.
It was an amazing kiss, but it didn’t make me delirious or lose my mind like Jaeden’s kiss did; not even close. Lachlan had skill, but it wasn’t similar or even close to the way Jaeden’s made me feel. I felt my core growing wet, and stopped him. “I’m—”
“It’s okay, lass; it’s a start, aye? He’s gone, but you’re still here,” Lachlan said with a knowing smile, as if he approved of how I’d reacted to his kiss.
I on the other hand was appalled at my behavior. I knew Jaeden was gone, but he’d stolen my heart and taken it with him. His departure had been so abrupt and unexpected that it had left a hole inside of me. If I slept with Lachlan, that’s all it would be, fucking. I just wasn’t made like that. I had an ache between my legs that only Jaeden could fill and a hole in my heart that only made it worse.
I walked to the door where I kissed Addy on the cheek and watched as Lachlan and a few of his men started to strip down for the change. Watching an entire group of hot men strip down to nothing while we watched them? Priceless.
“Take it in,” he said cockily and then shifted to wolf form right in front of us. It looked like it should’ve been painful, but the turn from human to wolf was effortless, as if a single thought could bring it on.
I’d never asked him about it, and figured it was none of my business. I liked that he flirted with me, but still gave me space to decide if I wanted it to go further between the two of us. There wasn’t that chemical reaction of atoms and molecules exploding when we touched, and that was what kept me from moving forward.
I opened the door and watched as the wolves fanned out in an aggressive formation and left the shelter to give me an actual shot at saving Maggie. I turned and looked at Addy with a small smile.
“I love you, bitch,” I said and wiggled my eyebrows.
“Don’t do that, Emma, you better come back to me. I can’t do this without you.”
“I’ll be back,” I said in my best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression.
Chapter 30
It was a frozen wonderland outside. Inside the shelter, it was easy to forget how winter was in the Pacific Northwest. The trees had shed their leaves and layers of snow had replaced them. The sun was bright through the many trees that stood silently in the forest. The only sounds were my boots as they crunched against the snow, and my breath as I huffed out little clouds in the freezing air with each step.
It had taken me an hour and a half just to travel through the three feet of snow that had blanketed the forest floor. I was just nearing Newport as the sun started to set. “Just wait for me,” I told it. I clicked on the flashlight I’d brought and headed into the dark, frozen hospital.
It took another thirty minutes to just search through the many bottles and packets of medicine that someone had disturbed. Between the pile of bottles in the pharmacy, and the ice that had found a home with all of the broken windows, it was hell. I finally found what I had been looking for and smiled with victory. Lachlan and the others had yet to find me or radio that they’d gone back to the shelter. We learned early on that they couldn’t carry walkie-talkies with them when they shifted, so we had tried to talk Maggie into making them little doggie pouches or something to carry a radio or walkie-talkie in. Lachlan and his men didn’t think it was very funny.
I walked back outside and considered my options. The ice across the lake should be frozen enough to walk on by now, and without hearing from Lachlan, I didn’t dare go the way I’d come. I made the decision and headed towards the lake, but when I was almost there, I caught sight of an elk, standing proudly as he nosed the snow for the grass just beneath it. If I hadn’t gone through the change, I would never have seen him in the dark.
It was surreal. Sure, I’d seen many of them, but none this close. I smiled at it, and moved to step closer when the first wolf attacked it. I paused and looked around me, only to find more wolves coming out of the woods. I turned and ran with everything I had, tripping over th
e branches that hid beneath the snow’s deceptive depths. My bag weighed more than it should have, so I dropped it knowing the pills I needed for Maggie were safely in my zippered pocket.
The wolves’ intent must have originally been the elk; otherwise my early warning system would have gone off. Well that was a bit of a flaw with that kind of alarm. I looked back as they continued to give chase. I had no option but to try and outrun them. There were no trees close enough for me to climb, no place for me to hide. I heard the packed snow crunch under the heavy weight of one of the wolves, but refused to look back.
It wasn’t until I slid on ice that I paused. I turned and looked at the wolves that had stopped at the edge of the lake. I could hear the ice cracking in the distance. I turned and ran for the other side of the lake, knowing there wasn’t a chance in hell I’d actually make it, but knowing it wouldn’t kill me. Or at least, I hoped it wouldn’t. I had survived the cliff and bullets meant to kill me, so my odds were pretty good.
I made it half way when the ice gave out.
My last sight was the wolves turning tail, leaving me to my icy tomb.
I struggled against the icy depths, my heart pounding in my ears as water filled my lungs. Gravity was a bitch, I could feel hypothermia taking hold, and knew the moment I lost the fight. They say you get this replay of your life when you die, but I’d died twice now, and I didn’t see anything either time. I’d be damned if the third wasn’t the same.
I wondered at why I wasn’t awarded the images, or why I kept being cheated of death. Too much had happened in such a short time, that it would be so easy to just let go. I considered it for a moment, but right when I had been willing to give up hope, he came to me.
Blue-green eyes and his heated touch. I smiled, even though I’d become numb from the icy grasp of the lake. Blackness was fighting me for my mind, but there, in that moment. I found him. At deaths door, I found Jaeden. Only he wasn’t dreamy, he looked pissed. The darkness won, and I knew no more.
*~*~*
Fire crackled from somewhere close. Warmth filled my mind and my body, and something was wrapped around me; hands rubbed over me. I was stark ass naked. Death…well let’s just say that death had a hot sense of irony.
“Emma,” Jaeden’s voice called to me from somewhere far away.
“Mmm,” I mumbled incoherent things, only to pass out again, and then do the same each time he called my name.
When I awoke again, it was to his lips touching mine, his cock pressed hard against my belly, and we’d moved closer to the fire. “I like dying with you,” I whispered and opened my mouth for his kiss.
“Emma,” he said again as his hands framed my face. “You are immortal my sweet, silly girl; it would have to be something very extreme to kill you now, but you do need sleep.” His gentle voice sounded amused. Damn, I loved his accent.
“Okay.” I needed sleepily.
I slept, but each time I woke, it became clearer. I’m not sure how long we did this for, or why we did this, but when I finally came to, it was to find Jaeden wrapped around me and blankets tucked in against us. His masculine scent filled my mind with a calmness that I hadn’t felt in a long time.
“Am I dreaming?” I whispered.
“Do you want to dream of me, sweet girl?” he asked as he rubbed his massive erection against me.
“Yes,” I replied and then gasped as he rolled over, pinning me to the floor. I loved this dream. It was different than before, and he felt real. His hands pinned mine easily in their larger hold. His mouth was hungry and intense as he kissed me.
His fingers parted my sex, and dipped inside. I bucked, and rocked them for more, needing more of him. It was too much, and not enough at the same time. I wanted more. I was already on the brink, and his husky laughter made me want it more. He refused to allow me release, and I started to think I’d fallen for him all over again.
Dreams were funny like that, never giving you what you wanted, and it made me wonder why they always said to chase your dreams. Um hello, dreams sometimes sucked! This one in particular had my body ready for penetration and yet dream-Jaeden was kissing my breasts slowly, as if he had all the time in the world. I knew it was wrong but I didn’t care. I wanted him, and I wanted him now.
He drew me in like a moth to the flame. He made my heart race with each twitch of his massive cock as it touched my clitoris. That amazing scent of his made my mouth water with the need to taste his flesh. The trembling of his fingers as he rubbed them over my core with skilled pets and touches. Could dream-Jaeden hear my heart pounding with need? Could he feel the heat of my core as it grew slick with need for him?
He lowered his face until his mouth touched and kissed the crook of my neck, breathing me in as he did so. He leaned back and smiled, a heated gaze filling his turquoise depths. His hands released mine as he parted my legs even further. One hand came back to hold my face in place as his other one reached down to open the petals that had already grown wet with need.
“Such a beautiful sight,” he whispered huskily. His fingers parted my folds which swelled with need and glistened for his greedy eyes; he knew it was only for him that I was this wet for. Only his touch made this storm of emotions and raw need saturate my core. He lowered his long frame down until his mouth hovered over the slick mess that was his. He leaned in closer until his long tongue dragged over the folds knowingly, so slowly, so thoroughly. I gasped and his lips curved into a smile that he pressed against my pussy. “Such a beautiful pussy,” he growled as he moved his hand from my face and used two fingers to fill me.
I cried out as the friction mixed with longing, and my body responded to his touch. His eyes locked with mine, and his turned darker, glittering with desire. I licked my lips invitingly, but he ignored it. His touch was gentle as he held my thighs apart and continued to fuck me with his mouth. His fingers would come out, only for his tongue to take their place. I was coming undone, and I could see in his eyes that he sensed it.
It wasn’t until he climbed up my body, framed my face between his large hands and looked me straight in the eyes, that he entered my body slowly; his eyes never left mine until he was buried deep inside of me. “Does that feel like a dream?” he asked with a hoarse tone.
“Yes,” I cried as he began to move slowly. His hips rocked in a steady tempo that had me lost in desire. The steady rhythm, mixed with the juices between my thighs, had him increasing his fast pace. The concentration on his face as he looked at how his handiwork was bringing me closer to the edge sent me and my mind right over it.
He moved down my body until he held both of my feet in his large hands, his mouth fed greedily from my wetness with an overwhelming eagerness that created shock waves to follow the first release. My mind was coming back, and with it, the knowledge that I was actually fucking Jaeden. As in, he’d really saved me and was now fucking me silly.
“You asshole!” I kicked him until he released my feet. “You mother fucker! You left us!”
“Emma,” he said as he stood up to his full height as I came to my feet as well. He lifted his hands, which looked comical considering his cock was bouncing in the air. “I can explain everything if you just let me.”
“You left me!” I swung out at him but I didn’t have the best balance at the moment and ended up being caught by him. “You destroyed me!” He pulled me close and held me tightly.
“I had to break ties with you; the elders questioned everything about you, those Sentinels at the bridge, my loyalty—everything! They reassigned us. Shamus told them you were an asset and he made them see that you were on our side, but it took time. I have been trying to get back to you since we left, but we also had to consider the fact that this place was swarming with rogue wolves,” he said softly as one of his big hands stroked my hair. “We aren’t from here, but we have been keeping out of sight and picking off the rogues pretty steadily. I
wouldn’t have left you had there been another way, but the elders are law in my world, even above our sires. I knew it would only be a matter of time before they saw reason and I could come back to you.”
“You could have told me that! I could have handled it if I’d known there was a reason!”
“Could you have? I couldn’t chance a scene, or them figuring out how I felt about you.”
“And just how do you feel?” I asked softly.
“Do you really need words to figure it out?” he asked as he pressed his erection at my junction.
“You scared me tonight,” he whispered as he moved the hair from my face and looked down at me, “I saw the ice give way and had to save you. We’ve lost the element of surprise we had, but you were right; you’re worth it.”
“You left me,” I said as a single tear slid down my cheek.
“To protect you, Emma, yes, I left you to buy time and get a plan together, because losing you wasn’t an option. I have to leave again after we thin out some of these rabid mongrels, but for now, in this house, we belong together.”
“Where are you going?” I asked as my heart lifted and seemed to get stuck in my throat.
“I’m going to Utah,” he said with a sensual grin on his lips. “You’re coming with me.” A gleam in his eye told me he was dead serious.
“Why would I leave?” I asked turning my full attention on him and what he’d said. I wasn’t leaving and I was curious to figure out why he thought I’d just pick up and go.
“Because they aren’t holding Grayson close to here, but a lead I discovered in the last few weeks said he might be in Utah, around Provo. I also discovered another group of what I think might be Sentinels. I told you’d I’d help you and I will. I discovered more information about your mother and where she has been, but I’ll tell you all that later.”