I jerked open the fridge, grabbed a bowl of berries, and started popping them in my mouth. Their sweet juices exploded over my tongue, coating it with sweet intensity that reminded me of tasting her. Serenity.
Hell, just my luck. She tasted like my favorite fruit.
I rolled my eyes and dropped some oil in the stove then grabbed the filet and slammed the door to the freezer only to see Cassius looming at me with a dark expression.
At least his wings were tucked back.
His arms, however, were crossed like he was pissed.
“Can I help you?” I busied myself with the steak while he paced in front of the granite breakfast bar and then pressed his hands onto the solid black rock.
“What the ever-loving hell were you thinking?”
I shrugged and flipped another berry in my mouth. Raspberries, they tasted more like her than blueberries did. I made a note then burned it up in my head and ignored the pang in my chest. It matched the pain in my gut that told me I needed to eat something other than a freaking berry. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. The vamp’s hungry. I’m making her meat.”
“Steak.” Cassius sighed and then groaned. “It’s a steak. You’re cooking her a steak not making her meat.”
I shrugged.
“You cooked for Genesis too,” Cassius said, the air crackling with tension. “It’s typical to cook for one’s mate…”
I grabbed a spatula and dusted some cracked pepper onto the steak, “Genesis was a starved human who was getting fed from a psychotic vampire with a man bun.”
“At least I know what you really think of me.” The smell of honey and vanilla filled the room briefly as Ethan swept past Cassius and stood next to me with his arms crossed as well. “You do that to the stairway?”
I ignored him.
“The fact remains…” Cassius’ voice deepened. “…you are making her a meal. After…” He cleared his throat.
“After?” Ethan perked up. “What after? What happened up there?”
“He started the mating process,” Alex chimed in.
I dropped the spatula and sighed. “Does no one believe in privacy?”
“Course not.” Ethan shrugged. “Just like apparently no one believes in t-shirts around here.”
Cassius looked down. “I’m fully clothed.”
“Except him…” Ethan sighed. “…and myself. It’s like we’re the only ones who understand that clothing is necessary to fit in.”
“I fit in just fine,” I pointed out.
Ethan’s green eyes raked over me from my worn flip-flops all the way up to my naked chest. “Sure, whatever you say, Mason. Hey, going shopping for pinecones later?”
“Bite me,” I snapped.
“You taste foul,” he countered. “Not at all like Genesis’ sweet blood with—”
“Stop.” Alex held up his hand. “Some of us want to sleep without nightmares.”
“I am the nightmare,” Ethan joked.
Alex gave him a slow clap while Cassius rolled his eyes. I returned my focus to the sizzle of the meat on the stove. If I focused on solitary things, then I didn’t think about Serenity — the way she tasted, the way her body had responded to mine so perfectly, so effortlessly.
Damn it. I was such a fool.
I’d loved once.
I’d mated once.
And now I was alone.
I scratched the back of my head and turned off the stove, not realizing that the room had fallen silent behind me.
I quickly turned.
All three men were staring at me as if I’d just announced I was going to sprout wings.
“What?”
Alex’s eyes went black as he stood near Ethan, as if he was protecting him, which was insane. Ethan could hold his own against any of us. Cassius’ wings sprouted from his back, the tiny feathers completely erect, ready to shoot like arrows into my naked chest. His eyes were white, his skin marble.
“Guys?” I sensed no danger. But I did sense fear. From everyone but Cassius.
His head tilted, and he sniffed the air, his eyes rolling to the back of his head before his eyes returned normal.
The air froze as Stephanie, Cassius’ mate and the last remaining Dark One, made her way into the kitchen. She arched her brows and whistled. “Freaky, Mason. Seriously freaky.”
Alex gave his head a shake then slowly returned to normal while Ethan’s eyes searched mine.
“Would someone please tell me what’s going on?”
“Lie to me, and I impale you,” Cassius said in a threatening voice.
Good to know I was still on his good side.
“How many years?”
“How many years?” I repeated dumbly.
“How many years…” He approached slowly. “…have you craved the blood?”
I sucked in a breath as shame washed over me. Shame that I had hidden it from the only family I had ever known.
Shame that it was a secret I’d kept my entire existence.
“Since my first hunt,” I admitted in a grief-filled voice before I slapped the steak onto a plate, grabbed utensils, and fled the room.
SERENITY
My body was still buzzing from the contact of his mouth. My heart felt like it was cracking, and I had no idea why. What I did know?
I needed some sort of blood if I was going to get my energy up. Normally, I had my small apartment stocked for emergencies.
Well, this was an emergency.
A bird chirped outside my window.
I shuddered. Gross.
The idea of killing a tiny innocent bird made me want to puke. I was officially the worst vampire in existence. I couldn’t even kill right. In fact, I’d never killed before. Most of my kind at least enjoyed the hunt, but I hated it. I hated the fear I saw in creatures’ eyes.
Besides, it was not like we needed to hunt. It was more of a hobby for people now that modern technology made it easy for us to take blood however we needed it.
We survived off blood and food — both helped nourish. Where food kept our bodies running, blood kept us young and viciously strong. It was like taking a drug that promised perfect vision, hearing, and all of the above.
The vampires that had died out were the ones that had wanted a real life with humans. There wasn’t a timetable of death for our kind; we were immortal. But the problem with introducing humans as mates?
It caused vampires to want to die.
Why exist outside of the family you helped create?
My own parents were no longer alive, choosing to die together rather than live another hundred years.
They had left me enough money to live comfortably.
But part of me felt… angry.
And a huge part of me believed I hadn’t been enough for them to stay, that my love for my parents wasn’t even a flicker of the love they had held for each other.
I hated the whole immortal code.
The mating process meant you weren’t yourself anymore but part of something bigger. I didn’t understand how people could say that mating was so great and wonderful when it made you forget about your own child.
Or abandon them.
It had been my job to plan their funeral. They’d made a big deal about it. Mom had gotten dressed up. Dad had worn a tux.
And I’d had to sit there and watch them wither away. I had even offered my veins, but they’d politely declined. And then they were gone.
Dust.
I swallowed past the lump in my throat as a vision of them holding hands fell to the forefront of my mind. The smile on their lips… The way they’d died together looking at one another…
Rather than at me.
Their only daughter.
I shivered and shoved open the window.
It wasn’t good blood. But it would do.
I locked eyes with the bird and beckoned it. “Come.”
It flew to the windowsill and looked up at me. It was pretty with golden-flecked eyes and tiny little feet.
/>
I choked back a sob.
What if it has a family? What if I am taking it from its parents? What kind of monster am I?
“Be free, little bird.” I shoved it away.
See? Worst vampire ever created.
“You let it go,” a gruff voice said behind me.
Clearly, I lacked blood if a wolf could sneak up on me. I was in a pitiful state; maybe I should die too.
Like my parents.
What else did I have to live for?
Nothing.
I was all alone in the world in a job I hated and apparently a target for no reason other than I was probably going crazy.
Stupid dreams.
I shrugged. “I wasn’t hungry.”
His look said he didn’t believe me, and when my gaze fell to the steak, I almost jerked the plate out of his hands and bit into it without using the fork.
“Told you.” He smirked knowingly. “Sit down, and I’ll cut it up.”
He was true to his word. The big bad scary wolf literally cut up the steak into tiny bite-sized pieces as if I didn’t have a mouth full of fangs ready to punish the meat into submission.
He finished then stabbed the fork into the meat and held it out to me. “Small bites. Don’t rush it. I don’t want you getting sick.”
So now he cared?
With a shaky hand, I took the fork and then shoved the meat into my mouth. I groaned and closed my eyes. When I opened them, he was watching me with such intensity I felt embarrassed. “Sorry, it’s been a while.”
“Since you’ve eaten?”
“Since I’ve had good meat,” I admitted. “Nobody knows how to cook it right. I went vegan years ago.”
“A shame.” He licked his lips as his body seemed to grow before my eyes. Maybe it was because he was sitting so close to me, but something about him looked different, altered, and very other-worldly. I hadn’t met many werewolves; all the races typically kept to themselves.
The immortal council made sure that fights were at a minimum.
And since I was literally in their main house under their protection, I could only assume that this wolf was the Wolf, the one who kept the packs in line.
Demons, wolves, vampires, angels — it was a gas, our fun little immortal world.
Word on the street had been that the demons were somehow finding their souls. That there was an elf goddess who’d set them free.
It seemed like a bunch of crap until I’d seen a blue-eyed demon at a bar last week who’d actually waved at me and then kissed a human right on the mouth without killing her.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t realize I’d finished the entire steak.
I patted my stomach. “Thank you. I was starving.”
“Your stomach was loud. Believe me, the entire house was aware of your pathetic state. Vampires need food just as much as they need blood. Meat helps repair red blood cells and keeps your body running at its best. Pair that with your daily doses of blood, and you should be good to leave by the end of the week.”
I gulped.
I want to leave, right?
Why did the idea of going away make my chest ache?
He took the plate from my hands and stood. “I’ll be back to check on you. Go sleep.”
And that was it. The door clicked shut behind me. The bird returned to my window, and I was left wondering if I would always be in this state.
Alone.
Wishing for more than I had.
And cursing myself for wondering if it would have been an awful thing had they just left me to die.
MASON
I cleaned the dish, wiping it with a rag at least a dozen times before placing it back in the cupboard. I wasn’t sure how many minutes I’d stared out into the empty space of the kitchen.
Until a ripple of awareness ran from my hands all the way down to my bare feet. The spells always happened this way, as if I was possessed by some sort of monster inside that needed to be fed — demanded it.
“Drink,” it whispered.
I clenched my teeth and braced the counter with my hands as claws started sprouting from my fingers, digging into the hard granite like it was dust.
Normally, I could control the urge.
I always had.
Not this time.
This time, I felt the blood coat my tongue, the taste of ecstasy as it built in my body.
“Cease.” A booming voice came like a clap.
My claws retreated, and I looked up into the face of Cassius.
With a sigh he tilted his head. “You cannot fight it forever.”
“I can.” I snapped my teeth together. “I’m just weak because of her.”
“Then continue the mating process. You and I both know you already started the minute you decided to heal her a second time. Every time you lick her, the link between you intensifies. This is not a fire you can control. It’s a blaze that will sear you alive.”
“No.” I ignored the need to charge up the stairs and love her, mate her, make her understand that this predatory thing between us was more than just healing. I was lying to myself if I believed otherwise. I chose the lie.
He sighed. “Stubborn wolf, you will mate with her. You will stop ignoring your destiny.”
“My destiny has already passed,” I whispered with emotion. “It died the minute she did.”
“She…” He leaned in until we were face to face, until I could feel the ancient secrets his wings whispered into the air. “…was not your destiny.”
With that, he walked off leaving me pissed and confused and near starving.
I reached for more berries and snarled in disgust as Ethan waltzed in with a bag of blood and a cruel smile on his lips. “We’re leaving for a few days.”
“We?” I repeated. “You and Genesis? The twins?”
“We, as in the council. Each of us is going back to our respective… roots to warn the different immortals of what’s to come. The war has just started. We have fallen angels all over the place trying to decide which side they want to fight for, and the most evil of all has returned to the abyss to play house. I’d say it was time to warn them, wouldn’t you?”
I couldn’t argue that logic.
“The wolves, they will also need to know…” Ethan’s voice trailed off.
“Let Cassius tell them.”
“I imagine they’d prefer you,” Ethan said softly.
The pity in his eyes wasn’t helping.
Nor the hollow ache in my gut when I thought about my pack, my people, the looks on their faces when I’d walked away and sworn never to return.
My shame was too great.
The burden insurmountable.
“Three nights.” Ethan was talking again. “Think you can keep the house from burning down?”
“I’ll make an effort.” I tried joking, but it fell flat on my own ears. I was trying too hard to pretend I wasn’t aching. Always aching.
“That’s really all I can ask.” Ethan winked and then, just like he had appeared with Cassius…
They were gone.
Utterly alone.
Solitude used to be my peace, my… serenity.
I jolted away from the counter as gasps fell from my mouth. Serenity. It was gone. My comfort in my loneliness was gone.
Replaced with…
Her.
MASON
I paced in the living room, my bare feet creaking across the hardwood floor. Every few minutes I’d look up at the ceiling and wonder if she was sleeping, if she was suffering.
One more lick.
I could heal her completely.
It would cost me everything to make her well.
And I had never been in the business of licking a vampire whose idea of foreplay included sucking on my arteries.
My body jerked to attention.
Damn it.
I was wolf.
And yet the idea of her lips pressed against my pulse, the feel of my teeth digging into her flesh had such a dizzying ef
fect on my equilibrium I tripped over the carpet and nearly faceplanted against the black leather couch.
Vampires.
I was halfway between paranoia and blood lust; at least that was what it felt like, this crazed need to run up the stairs and do something unthinkable.
What the hell makes any of my family think I am able to control myself without someone watching my every move?
Maybe that was part of their plan.
Nobody was here to stop me.
Nobody but me.
Hell, I’d be better off chained in the basement.
My thoughts perked up. Now, that was actually a solid idea born out of necessity to keep my body, my tongue, my mouth from the one woman who would take it all — and refuse to give it back.
I’d be lost to myself.
She’d be lost to me.
And I didn’t know how to be an us anymore — maybe I never had. I’d been a horrible mate to begin with. What sort of mate dreamed about other women? I’d loved my human mate.
But she had been frail.
I’d been in a constant state of fear whenever we joined, fear that I would kill her with a flick of my wrist because I wasn’t cautious enough.
It would be difficult to injure a vampire.
I shook the thought when a knock sounded at the door. My ears strained to hear what was on the other side.
Heartbeat.
Rapid.
Even breathing.
I sniffed the air and then rolled my eyes as I stomped over to the door and jerked it open.
Timber grinned at me with white teeth and creepy blue eyes. “Just checking up on my old friend.”
I almost slammed the door in his face. “We have never been friends.”
He took a step over the threshold and spread his arms wide. “Fine. Cassius said that you were going to lose your mind and either kill a vampire or screw one. Had to see so for myself.”
“Hate demons,” I muttered under my breath as I made my way back to the living room to my pacing, to my torture.
Timber spread his massive body out on the couch and let out a pleased sigh. “Is she pretty?” He sniffed the air. “She smells pretty.”
My hand was on his throat before I could stop myself, squeezing with the intention of a good kill — blood — though demon blood tasted like ass. I wondered if Timber’s would be any different since he’d been saved by Alex’s mate, the last remaining elf and only immortal able to give life back to the damned.