Page 1
Chapter 1
I woke up naked and in a strange bed.
For several minutes I did nothing more than breathe in the gently feminine – but totally unfamiliar – scents in the room, trying to figure out how, exactly, I’d gotten here.
And where the hell “here” was.
My brain was decidedly fuzzy on any sort of detail, however, and that could only mean my mission to consume enough alcohol to erase all thought and blot out emotion had actually succeeded. And that surprised the hell out of me.
Thanks to our fast metabolic rate, werewolves generally find it difficult to go on a bender. I might be only half were, but I usually hold my alcohol fairly well and really hadn’t expected to get anywhere near drunk. I certainly hadn’t expected to be able to forget – if for only a few hours – the anger and the pain.
Pain that came from both the worst kind of betrayal, and my own subsequent actions.
My eyes stung, but this time no tears fell. Maybe because I had very little in the way of tears left. Or maybe it was simply the fact that, somewhere in the alcohol-induced haze of the past few days, I’d finally come to accept what had happened to me.
Although it wasn’t like I had any other choice.
If I had, then I would have died. Should have died. But Azriel, the reaper who’d been my follower, my guard, and my lover, had forced me to live and, in doing so, had taken away the very essence of what I was.
Because in forcing me to live, he’d not only ensured that my soul could never be reborn, but he’d made me what he was.
A dark angel.
The next time I died, I would not move on and be reborn into another life here on Earth. I would join him on the gray fields – the unseen lands that divided this world from the next – and become a guard on the gates to heaven and hell.
And that meant I would never see my late mother again. Not in any future lifetime that might have been mine, because he’d stolen all that away from me.
What made it worse was the knowledge that he’d saved me not because he loved me, but because he needed me to find the lost keys to the gates.
And because I was carrying his child.
The stinging in my eyes was nothing compared to the pain in my heart. I curled up in the bed and hugged my knees tightly to my chest, but it did little to stop the tidal wave of grief washing over me.
If he’d said, just once, that I mattered more than any quest or key – or even the child we’d created – then perhaps the bitterness and anger would not have been so deep, and I wouldn’t have banished him from my side. But he hadn’t, and I had.
And now all I could do was try to figure out what had actually happened in the days that had followed his departure, and move on.
Because despite his actions, my task in this world had not changed. I still had keys to find, and I very much doubted whether the patience of either my father or the Raziq – the rebel Aedh priests who’d jointly created the damn keys with my father before he’d stolen said keys from their grasp only to lose them himself – would hold for much longer.
Hell, it was surprising that one or both of them hadn’t already appeared to slap me around in an effort to uncover what the hell had gone wrong this time.
But maybe they had no idea that I’d actually found the second key. After all, this time it had been stolen not only from under my nose, but before I’d managed to pinpoint its exact location. Which meant the thief – the same dark sorcerer who’d stolen the first key, and who’d permanently opened the first gateway to hell – wouldn’t know which of the many military weapons he’d stolen was the second gate key in disguise. Thanks to the fact that my father’s blood had been used in the creation of the three keys, only one of his blood could find them.
And I would find them. Without my reaper. Without my protector.
A sob rose up my throat, but I forced it back down. Enough with the self-pity, I told myself fiercely. Enough with the wallowing. Get over it and move on.
But that was easier said than done when my entire world had been turned upside down.
I scrubbed a hand across gritty eyes, then flipped the sheets off my face, and finally looked around the room. It definitely wasn’t a place I knew, and I very much doubted it was a hotel room. There were too many florals – the wallpaper, the bedding, and the cushions that had been thrown haphazardly on the floor all bore variations of a rose theme – and the furniture, though obviously expensive, had a well-used look about it. There was a window to my left, and the sunshine that peeked around the edges of the heavy pink curtains suggested it was close to midday.
Curious to see where I was, I got out of bed and walked over to the window. My movements were a little unsteady, but I suspected the cause was more a lack of food than any residual effect of my drinking binge. Alcohol cleared out of a werewolf’s system extremely fast, which is why it was so damn hard for us to get drunk. And that was definitely a good thing, because it meant my desperate attempt to forget wouldn’t have done any harm to my child.
I drew one curtain aside and looked out. In the yard below, a dozen or so chickens scratched around a pretty cottage garden. To the left of the garden were several outbuildings – one obviously an old stable, another a large machinery shed – but to the right, there was nothing but rolling hills that led up to a thick forest of gum trees.
It definitely wasn’t somewhere familiar.
Frowning, I let the curtain fall back into place and turned, my gaze sweeping the small room again. My clothes were stacked in a neat pile on the Georgian-style armchair, and flung over the back of it was a fluffy white dressing gown. Sitting on the nearby mahogany dressing table was a white towel, as well as bathroom necessities. Whoever owned this place at least didn’t intend to keep me naked or unwashed. Whether they intended me other sorts of harm was another matter entirely.
Not.
The familiar, somewhat harsh tone ran through my mind and relief slithered through me. I might be without my reaper, but I still had my sword, so I wasn’t entirely without protection. Amaya – the name of the demon trapped within the sword – was as alert and as ready for action as ever. The sword itself was shadow wreathed and invisible, so the only time anyone was truly aware of her presence was when I slid her dark blade into their flesh. Although she did have a tendency to be vocal about her need to kill, so she certainly could be heard on occasion – generally when she was about to kill someone.
What do you mean, “not”? I walked over to the Georgian chair and started dressing. Like the room itself, my clothes had a very slight floral scent, although this time it was lavender rather than rose, which was definitely easier on my nose.
Harm not, she replied. Foe not.
Which didn’t mean whoever owned this place was a friend, but my sword had saved my butt more than once recently and I was beginning to trust her judgment.
Should, she muttered. Stupid not.
I grinned, not entirely sure whether she meant she wasn’t stupid, or that I’d be stupid not to trust her. I sat down on the chair to pull on my socks and boots, then headed for the door. It wasn’t locked – another indicator that whoever had me didn’t mean any harm – but I nevertheless peered out cautiously.
The hall beyond thankfully was free of the rose scent that had pervaded my room, and it was long, with at least a dozen doors leading off it. To the left, at the far end, was a wide window that poured sunshine into the space, lending the pale green walls a warmth and richness. To the right lay a staircase. There were voices coming from the floor below, feminine voices, though I didn’t immediately recognize them.
I hesitated, then mentally slapped myself for doing so and headed towar
d the stairs. My footsteps echoed on the wooden boards, and the rhythmic rise and fall of voices briefly stopped.
I’d barely reached the landing when quick steps approached the staircase from below. I paused on the top step and watched through the balusters. After a moment, a familiar figure strode into view and relief shot through me.
“Ilianna,” I said. “Where the hell am I?”
She paused and looked up, a smile touching the corners of her green eyes. Ilianna was a shifter, and her human form echoed the palomino coloring of her horse form, meaning she had a thick mane of pale hair and dark golden skin. She was also a powerful witch, and one of the few people outside my adopted family I trusted implicitly. Tao, our flatmate; Mirri, Ilianna’s partner; and Stane, Tao’s cousin, were the others.
“We’re at Sable’s winter retreat,” she said. “And it’s about time you woke up. I was beginning to think you intended to sleep the rest of your life away. ”
Sable was Mirri’s mom. I’d met her only once, but I’d seen her often enough on TV. The woman was a cooking phenomenon, with two TV shows behind her – the repeats of which still pulled good ratings – and a slew of books on not just cooking, but herbs and natural healing. Mirri’s dad, Kade, had worked with my aunt Riley at the Directorate years ago, but had unfortunately been killed when Mirri was little more than a baby. It had been Sable who had looked after his herd and kept them all together when he’d died.
“After the events of the last week or so, sleeping the rest of my life away certainly has its appeal. ” I couldn’t help the grim edge in my voice. “Why the hell are we at Mirri’s mom’s rather than home?”
“Because we figured a change of scenery might get you out of your funk. You coming down for lunch?”
“Funk” was definitely the polite description of what I’d been through the past few days. “Lunch would be good,” I said, even as my stomach rumbled rather loudly.
Ilianna’s eyebrows rose at the noise. I grinned and walked down the rest of the stairs, only to be enveloped in a hug so fierce I swear she was trying to squeeze the last drop of air from my lungs.
“God,” she whispered. “It’s good to have you back. ”
I blinked back the sting of tears and returned her hug. “I’m sorry, Ilianna. I didn’t mean to worry you. I just —”