The old monk smiled and said, “I am glad to receive your gifts, but I do want to make sure that there is no doubt in your mind. You can’t come back in a month expecting your possessions back.”
Ignatius said, “I am aware of that, I appreciate your concern. I am prepared to do everything for God from now on. I have no doubts.”
With that they went from the confessional back to Ignatius’ room and he handed over all of his possessions, except for his dagger and sword.
The monk said, “Thank you Ignatius Loyola.”
Ignatius bowed his head in reverent humility, and then left the room. He passed by monks in the dark corridors on his way to the back of the monastery to the church there. The stained glass windows were dark in the night; pictures of saints and the Virgin were barely distinguishable. Monk sang sweet songs that echoed off of the stone walls. Torches were hung on the outer walls, but not much light was kept for the vigil. Pilgrims, monks and priests melted together in the shadows.
Ignatius knelt in front of the altar and whispered, “I am going to now be a soldier for Christ.” He then lay down his sword and dagger on the altar.
#
Ignatius walked on a road that was well worn with horse and carriage tracks. The forest around the road was populated thinly with trees whose scent hung in the air. A mother and daughter walked alongside of him. They were both dressed in shabby clothes with torn spots that had been mended. The daughter, who was about ten, wore no shoes on her dirty feet.
Sally, who was the mother, said, “Oh Ignatius, I wish we had some food to sustain us. I haven’t had anything to eat since we got off of the ship.”
Ignatius said, “I am sorry, if I had any food I would gladly share with you.”
Sally said, “I am going to my relatives who will help since my husband has been killed.”
Ignatius said, “I am so sorry to hear about your husband, but he is with the Lord now.”
Sally said, “I wish I could be sure of that.”
Ignatius said, “You should have faith. The whole purpose of my journey is to show that I have faith in God above all else. I begged for the food for the journey, since the shipmaster refused to take me without food, but any extra coins I had I left on the beach.”
Sally said, “I wish you would have kept them. We could buy something to eat then. My daughter is very hungry.”
Ignatius said, “Have faith. If I did have those coins then where would we obtain provisions? When we get to a town we can beg for food.”
Sally said, “I don’t think that we will happen upon a town before dark, the sun is setting now.”
Ignatius said, “God will provide for us, you’ll see.”
Sally asked, “Where are you going?”
Ignatius said, “I am taking a pilgrimage to Jerusalem by way of Rome.”
Sally shouted, “You were right, God did provide for us.” She pointed to a white farmhouse trimmed in black. Behind the farmhouse stood a barn of bright red.
Ignatius went to the door and knocked.
A tall man answered the door, a baggy nightcap rested on his head. The hair that stuck out from his hat looked like straw sticking out of a scarecrow. The man asked, “What do you want?”
Ignatius bowed his head in humility, “We are humble travelers sir, and I do ask that you might provide us with some lodgings for the night. If you are so inclined I would ask for some food as well.”
The man frowned and asked, “Is that your wife?”
Ignatius said, “No sir, we just happen to be traveling the same way.”
The man said, “I will tell you what I can do for you. It is only right that I let the women stay inside, but you will have to sleep in the barn. I have already had my supper, but I might be able to find a few scraps to eat in the morning for you.”
Ignatius smiled and said, “Thank you sir, thank you. God bless you sir.”
The women went inside and Ignatius headed for the barn.
#
Saints echoed in Ignatius’ dreams. Benign presences imparted glory on him, but then he felt an earthly voice beaconing him back to lucidity. His eyes slowly opened to see the darkness of the barn; he smelled the unpleasant odor of animal waste; he felt straw poke at his head and back. Ignatius was content with these things, but then he heard a small sound. Somehow he thought it was urgent, so he roused himself to full consciousness and sat up. It might be a scream for help. He walked through the darkness to the barn door and pried it open. The darkness was less pronounced outside, and the voice he had heard was more distinct.
He heard a shout of “Rape, rape.”
Ignatius ran to the door of the house and tried the doorknob, it wouldn’t open.
He shouted, “Shall we submit to this?” and pounded his fists on the door. Inside the woman was shouting for help and her daughter was crying. Ignatius found a rock and was about to break the window when he heard a mechanical noise at the door, the woman ran outside, part of her dress was torn. The daughter fled the house as well and then the man appeared; his face was flush with excitement.
Ignatius said, “You foul beast. I have only this rock and my fists to defend this woman’s honor with, but it shall be enough. I used to be a soldier and I know how to fight.”
The man shielded himself with the door, and when the women fled away from the house, Ignatius thought he should stay with them. Ignatius looked behind them after they had ran a few hundred feet and there was no sign that the man followed them. Walking was rough in the dark, and a few times Ignatius stumbled over an unseen obstacle. After an hour they spied a town. Ignatius went to the city gates, but they were locked for the night. Ignatius knocked, but no one answered. A church sat on the side of the town and they walked over to it. The doors of the church opened when Ignatius tried them so they went inside.
Ignatius called, “Hello.” The words only echoed in the stone building. He could make almost nothing in the darkness except for a few pews before an altar. They each found a pew and rested until the morning.
#
Light came into the church and Ignatius awoke. His head ached as well as his stomach. He sat up and spied the woman in the pew next to him. He shook her awake and then stood up. He looked around the old church. The altar had accumulated dust over years of neglect, a few of the pews had been broken and some of the stained glass was missing. A giant cobweb ran from a statue of Jesus to the rail around where the priest spoke.
The woman said, “You should have let me sleep for a while longer, with that horrible man yesterday and our flight here I didn’t get much sleep at all.”
Ignatius said, “You will not miss sleep when the morning has passed. I have deprived myself of it often enough. It is time for us to obtain some food.
The woman frowned, but woke her child and followed him out in to the morning light. The sun seemed unusually bright, the town door still closed. Ignatius walked over to the door and knocked on it.
A voice answered from beyond the door, “Who are you and what do you want here?”
Ignatius said, “I am a poor pilgrim, and two women are with me. We would like to enter the town to procure food.”
The voice said, “That is not possible, there is a plague that has been ravishing the countryside and we are not going to let anyone enter who is not from the town. Be gone with you.”
Ignatius turned to the woman and said, “I guess we aren’t going to eat here.”
The woman and her daughter walked on. Ignatius followed them. After a mile or so, Ignatius felt so weak that he could not go on.
The woman asked, “Ignatius, what is wrong with you?”
Ignatius replied, “I am too weak from hunger to go on. I am amazed that you are able to.”
The woman turned and said, “Before the man last night turned… repulsive, he gave me and my daughter a bit of food. Perhaps he thought I was bought that easily.”
Ignatius said, “Go on, you have to find food for your child.”
The woman s
aid, “Thank you. I hope you will be alright.”
Ignatius said, “God will provide my dear companion.”
And so she left and the hunger pains attacked Ignatius and there he lay for half a day. The heat attacked his senses when the hunger abated, and then his thirst overtook him.
Then a carriage came down the road and a lady saw him by the road. She left her carriage and knelt by him. She wore a richly colored peach dress, she said, “Are you alright, you look ready to pass on to judgment.”
Ignatius said, “I knew God would provide for me.”
#
Ignatius walked by the canals of Venice, the water smelled slightly salty and foul. Ignatius looked at the marble columns and intricate carvings on the buildings that surrounded him, but he hardly noticed anything the richness of their details. To him it was one more step towards Jerusalem, nothing more.
A man richly dressed in bright green and ocher walked by. He struck the pavement with his cane, but with such vigor that it was apparent he didn’t need it to walk.
Ignatius stopped the man and said, “Kind sir, I am a pilgrim on my way to Jerusalem. I would like to have some alms for food.”
The man said, “Gong to Jerusalem, are you mad? The Turks are threatening to kill anyone who enters. I too would like to go to the sacred city, but I am afraid that no man will sail there. Come you can rest at my house tonight.”
Ignatius said, “God bless you for your concern and generosity, but if only a plank were to make it across the sea, then I would ride upon it.”
#
Ignatius watched the sea churn at the back of the boat; it whirled and swished before it crashed up in a fine spray of mist. His stomach felt as if it were turning even faster and more violently. His head felt like an over-inflated balloon. He wretched off of the back of the boat, his stomach hurling the liquid unendingly. But there had been an end, although it didn’t seem like there would ever be one. Now Ignatius’s stomach felt better, and his head was deflated to normal pressure; he felt good all over.
Although no one was looking at him or paying attention to him Ignatius shouted, “God be praised. The doctor told me that if I wanted to be buried that I should go on this voyage, but God has made me well.” Ignatius smiled in victory.
#
Seven pilgrims journeyed on donkeys with Ignatius. The pilgrims wore sack cloths like Ignatius did, some grey and some brown. The sandy dirt was covered in occasional small clumps of green, and palm trees grew out of the ground, but provided little shade to the weary travelers. Clearing a hill they spotted a city rising on top of a great hill.
Ignatius shouted, “Is it Jerusalem?”
One of the pilgrims, a fellow Spaniard said, “Yes, it is Jerusalem. I am sure of it.”
The other pilgrims started to talk, some of them spoke in Swiss, but it was impossible not to understand what they meant. They felt excited about arriving at Jerusalem. Ignatius leapt from his donkey and jumped up and down; soon the others followed him. There had never been elation such as this to Ignatius’ knowledge. It was pure exhilaration from God. Ignatius had trusted God just like Saint Francis and he had been repaid for his trust. To Ignatius the buildings looked more beautiful than those of Venice or Rome. These building represented the foundations of so great a faith as to have changed the world. In the city were the streets where Jesus, John and Peter strode, and now Ignatius would be walking them too. He felt a sense of humility at even walking in the same dust as they had.
#
The prior of the monastery at Jerusalem looked very tall because of his thinness. His tonsure was diminished even more in the back by baldness, but the hair he still possessed retained most of its brownness. His frown dominated his face at the moment.
Ignatius stood before him and finished his speech, “Abbot, I am sure that I can win a few of these Turks over to the faith. I have the utmost confidence in them.”
The prior’s frown seemed to grow to supernatural proportions. He said, “Ignatius, I don't think you appreciate what we are trying to do here. We cannot proselytize or we will be killed or thrown out. We are only here to provide comfort to peaceful pilgrims. Besides, you have no formal training. In fact, you have no education to speak of. I am not looking for an evangelist, and if I were I would be able to find a dozen men more qualified than you in a matter of months if not weeks.”
Ignatius said, “But you don’t understand, I am not asking you to provide for me, I have followed Saint Francis and I will beg for my food and not bother you a little. I know that I can be the cause of a great revival in the Holy Land. Just give me a chance.”
The prior said, “You have accused me of not listening, but you have not listened to me at all. I don’t want or need anyone trying to convert Turks; it will only cause us trouble. You will not succeed and then there will be no place for the poor pilgrims who make it here to be able to rest.”
Ignatius said, “I will find another place to live then. I will go about to beg for my food and then I will bring the Turks around. You will see.”
The prior said, “You don’t see. I forbid you to do this thing. Even if you are not living here you will cause great trouble for us. You are to return home to do your good works there. Be glad that you have had a chance to see the Holy Land, not many do.”
Ignatius said, “But who are you to tell me what to do? Inside the monetary I understand you have authority, but outside of it is not your concern. I have come here to convert all of the Turks, and I think God will put them under my hand, and you can’t stop me from doing this.”
The prior said, “Ignatius, I do have the authority. I have the paperwork from Rome. I am responsible for all Christians in Jerusalem. Do you want me to get the document to show you?”
Ignatius said, “No, that is not necessary. Forgive me prior. I was only upset. I have come all of this way with my plan and not it is finished.”
The prior said, “Perhaps God has sent you here because you are in need of wisdom. Think about this on your journey home.
Ignatius said, “Thank you prior.”
#
The guard wore a white turban on his head and matching baggy white pants. His brown face was like a figure carved in stone unmoved by emotion or blowing sand. Ignatius grabbed a hold of the knife in his pocket as he approached the man. The guard started to grab the hilt of his sword, but then must have decided that the stranger approaching him was harmless. He spoke words that were understood only by his fellow countrymen.
Ignatius said in the slow voice that seems like it will be able to be understood by foreigners, “I want to go to see where Jesus ascended into heaven.” Ignatius hoped that the man would agree to let him into the stone octagonal structure, if he did not, Ignatius might be arrested for being a spy. It was forbidden for him to see the three-layered building that had been a chapel and now was a mosque. The first layer of each side of the octagon was an arch, although only the side that they faced had a door on it. The next layer up on the structure was constructed of eight circles, one on each side and the structure was topped in one dome.
The man didn’t seem to understand, Ignatius pointed at himself, then the mosque. The man held out his hands for a bribe and Ignatius gave him the knife from his pocket. The guard nodded and Ignatius went inside. Candles lit the mosque, but the light was dim and Ignatius’ eyes had to adjust to make out the holy footprint. The rock was marked by wooden boards and Ignatius could make out the footprint clearly. Ignatius smiled and looked at the footprint, until the guard motioned with his hands that it was time for him to leave.
Ignatius left and started to wander down the road, but then tried to remember which direction Jesus’ feet had pointed. He couldn’t make out which way they went in relationship to outside. He went back to the guard, who looked a little confused. He pointed inside and the guard held out his hand again. Ignatius froze, he didn’t have anything left. He searched his pockets; then he remembered a pair of scissors in his right pocket. He handed them to t
he guard, who looked disappointed, but motioned for him to go in. Ignatius noted the direction of the footprints and then headed back outside. If he must go, then he was now ready to head back to Europe.
#
Ignatius sat in the classroom alone except for the professor, a thirty-something year old monk. The small class was filled with empty desks.
The professor said, “Ignatius, you don’t have to stay here. If you would like to go and see the King you are perfectly welcome. All of the rest of the class has gone to see him.”
Ignatius said, “But I want to study. The King is not so very important in comparison with the ability to save souls, and that is what I will do as soon as I am finished with my studies.”
The professor sighed; he looked as if he wanted to go out to see the King.
#
Ignatius sat in the tavern of the inn he was staying at while he drank water. A man sat in the table next to Ignatius, he wore a smart beard that was Spanish in style, but his outfit was thin material covered in a green pattern. Besides the man the dank place was deserted.
Ignatius said, “Hello sir, are you a fellow Spaniard?”
The man looked over at him and said, “Yes I am. My name is Jose Escobar, at your service.”
Ignatius said, “I don’t get to see as many of my fellow countrymen now that I am studying in France.”
Jose said, “I am not at Paris University, as you must be, I am only here because of a business affair.”
Ignatius said, “I have plans, big plans to change the church for the better.”
Jose said, “Be quiet, what if anyone should hear you?”
Ignatius said, “I am not a Lutheran, I have nothing to fear. I am a good Catholic. I am talking about strengthening the Catholic Church by establishing good institutions.”
Jose said, “That sounds all right, I don’t think you’ll get in trouble with that sort of talk.”
Ignatius said, “I have been investigated by the inquisition several times now, but I have been cleared of all charges and I think I have impressed a few of the inquisitors.”
Jose said, “Then why have you been brought up.”