***
The next morning, John and I headed back to shore. John joined his class for a three day expedition aboard a ship called the Marine Explorer. I’m not sure what they were looking for, but the ship did contain a submersible big enough for six people. I told the ship’s captain that if they went to the Cedros Trench, they might find some vampire chunks floating around, but he just looked at me funny. Little did he know that fish won’t eat vamp chunks, even the sharks won’t touch them.
John said they were hoping to see a mermaid. His idea of a joke. I said the best place to see a mermaid was at the International House of Pancakes, which is where I headed for breakfast, right after watching John’s ship leave port.
I had just started in on a stack of pancakes topped with strawberries and whipped cream when Stringbean and Frat Boy arrived.
“I haven’t seen her,” I said as Stringbean slid into the booth, right across from me. “I spent the night at sea.”
“We know,” Stringbean said.
Frat Boy didn’t seem to know where to sit, whether to slide in next to his partner or next to me. I solved the dilemma by patting the seat next to me, then I looked at Stringbean, and said, “You’ve been following me?”
“The elf has a grudge against you. Easiest way to find her is to follow you around.”
“I already gave you my promise. If I can’t turn her from the dark side, I’ll put her down myself.”
“I’m aware of that, but we still have a job to do.”
My waitress arrived, checking to see if my friends wanted anything.
“Order what you want,” I said. “I’m buying.”
“Since when did you become so generous?” Stringbean said.
“You know me, always willing to help the . . . I was going to say boys in blue, but in the case of you two that wouldn’t be accurate. How about this. You know me. Always willing to help the boys in an off-the-rack ill fitting poly-cotton blend.”
“She’s referring to you,” Stringbean said to his partner.
I was, but then Stringbean was too tall and too skinny to shop where everybody else shopped. His suits were either tailor made, or purchased from specialty stores. Not that he couldn’t afford it. His mother's family was rich, filthy rich. They owned a fleet of ships that transported those big metal cargo containers you see sitting on the docks.
Stringbean turned his attention to the waitress and ordered a big stack of pancakes, Frat Boy opted for waffles, a small stack of waffles. I changed it to a large.
“At this table, we eat like men,” Stringbean said.
“If I ate like a man, I’d starve to death,” I said. “At this table, we eat like mermaids.”
Stringbean grinned. “I got no problem with that.”
He was the only human I knew that could come close to putting away as much food as I could. He was the only human I knew that I would call dangerous. He looked human, he smelled human, but I couldn’t help but wonder if there wasn’t a strand or two of supernatural DNA in him.
Stringbean and Frat Boy were in the middle of their first stacks, and I was in the middle of my second, when Gladrielle burst into the place. I don’t know where she spent the last twenty-four hours, but wherever it was, she hadn’t bothered to change clothes or comb her hair. This raised and interesting question. What did she do when she wasn’t throwing fireballs at me or the people I cared about?
“I understand you boys have been looking for me,” she said, sauntering up to our table.
As soon as he saw her, Frat Boy dropped his fork and went for his gun. Stringbean didn’t even blink. He just continued to eat his pancakes and sip his coffee.
“Uh-uh,” Gladrielle said. She held her right hand out, palm up. Another fireball appeared above it. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
“You turning yourself in?” Stringbean said between sips of coffee.
“Maybe,” Gladrielle said. “I guess it depends.”
“Upon what?”
“Upon whether you boys are willing to make a deal with me.”
“What kind of a deal?”
“I was going to ruin the mermaid’s life by killing all the people she cares about, all the people that care about her, but as it turns out, there don’t seem to be too many people around that care about her. Although I can’t say I’m surprised. She’s not that likable.”
“Is there a point to this?” I said between bites of pancake.
“The point is, I’ve decided not to kill your friends. I’ve decided to go back to my original plan and kill you. Except my killing you wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying as watching, say, one of these guys kill you.”
“Let me get this straight,” Stringbean said. “If I shoot Low, you’ll turn yourself in, you’ll let us take you to the station for booking.”
Gladrielle giggled. A psychotic giggle that made me wonder if Elrod was right, if there was no way for an elf to come back from the dark side.
“That’s my offer,” she said. “Take it or leave it.”
“How do I know your word is any good? How do I know you won’t just set us on fire after I kill Low?”
“I’m an elf, my word is always good.”
“You’re dark elf,” Frat Boy said. “The word of a dark elf can’t be trusted.”
“He has a point,” Stringbean said. “And you did set two cops on fire yesterday. That being said, I’m willing to risk it and take you up on your offer.”
Stringbean reached into his suit coat and pulled out his thirty-eight. Then he pointed it at me and looked at Gladrielle. “Anything you want to say to her before I shoot her?”
Gladrielle looked at me and giggled, then she shook her head. “I just want to watch her die.”
Before I could protest, Stringbean fired, shooting me in the stomach for the second day in a row.